


Apple of My Eye

by sadsongssaysomuch, SuperAnarchy



Category: Actor RPF, American Actor RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Crying, Evanstan - Freeform, Fist Fights, Food Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Riding, Rimming, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 18:58:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 103,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadsongssaysomuch/pseuds/sadsongssaysomuch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperAnarchy/pseuds/SuperAnarchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For 18 year old Sebastian, school is more like a punishment until first year teacher, 24 year old Mr. Evans takes over teaching his math class. Sebastian has to live up to his reputation of being the class troublemaker, but the trouble he has planned for Mr. Evans is a little different than his usual sort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well Hello, Mr. Evans

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a labor of love between [superanarchy](http://superanarchy.tumblr.com/) and [myself](http://lovealetterbomb.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> _This is a work of fiction. The characters herein are based on real people (in name and appearance only), but the words and events are completely made up. They are not intended to be mistaken for fact, and are not meant to reflect on the actual people._
> 
>  

It’s just another Monday morning. Sebastian walks through the hallways of his high school, joining his second class of the day. As always he chooses one of the seats in the last row, it’s his favorite seat. When he wants to take a nap in class, being hidden at the back helps. When he wants to daydream and look through the window, he can. When he wants to cheat on his work, it’s easier, and when he wants to bother his teachers, well, apparently being in the last row already bother them. His teacher isn’t there yet, well his _new_ teacher. The old, grumpy one had to leave a week ago and they’ve been told they’ll have a permanent substitute from now on. Hopefully the new one won’t be as terrible as he was, although that’s practically impossible to imagine.

It’s the typical chaos, everyone chatting, laughing and talking loudly, having fun, when Mr. Wells, the principal enters the room and asks for silence, while Sebastian is busy blowing bubbles with his gum. There’s a man behind him, a briefcase in his hand, he looks young and Sebastian can’t help but notice that _he’s pretty hot_. He’s wearing a red shirt that fits him to his advantage, but what catches Sebastian’s eyes is his face, and the neatly trimmed beard that really suits him. The principal introduces the new teacher quickly before leaving the room, and leaving the new teacher alone in front of a whole class of teenagers and Sebastian’s eager eyes.

He’s already decided, he’s going to have a lot of fun messing with this teacher. Looking around the room, it’s apparent that he’s not the only one appreciating the view, considering the whispers two of his classmates are exchanging next to him. Sebastian has to laugh to himself.  C’mon ladies, the guy is _gay_ , he’s at least 85% sure of that.  
  
“Good morning everyone, I’m Mr. Evans,” the teacher starts, writing his name on the blackboard.

_Well hello, Mr. Evans._

“And I’m your new math teacher, because as you all know, Mr. Renner unfortunately had to leave you.”

Yeah unfortunately, Sebastian laughs quietly. He’s not going to miss him, and not going to miss all the hours of detention Mr. Renner apparently enjoyed to give him either. He’s especially not going to miss him since this substitute is hot as hell, and his voice is already giving Sebastian dirty thoughts.

“I’m sure we can achieve a lot together,” Mr. Evans continues.

 Oh, yeah, Sebastian is sure of that too. He already has plenty of ideas for that.

 “And I want you to know that I’m always ready to help you.”

Well if he can give him a hand, he’s not going to say no to that. He laughs to himself at his own joke, blowing one more discreet bubble.

“If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, and if you don’t want to do it during class I’ll be sitting at my desk at the end of every hour.”

Math just got a lot more interesting. A hot, young teacher... He's going to have so much fun with this.  The worst thing is, he looks nice, and that’s going to make things even more entertaining.

It's during that first day in class that Sebastian starts formulating his plan. He wants to mess with this new teacher, sure. But not just by acting out in class, or getting in trouble. No, the idea that he can't shake is a little different. What he really wants to do, is see if he can get a kiss from Mr. Evans. Crazy, maybe, but it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun trying.

It's while he's daydreaming, trying to figure out how he can make it happen, that Mr. Evans himself gives him an idea.

Sebastian definitely isn't focusing on the class, he’s too busy staring at Mr. Evans and it isn't until Mr. Evans catches him staring, that everything falls into place.

His eyes are on Mr. Evans' very nice backside, as he stands at the board writing out a series of problems, and when he turns around, Sebastian is still staring.

That’s the exact moment Sebastian suddenly realizes, when Mr. Evans catches his eyes. He’s trying to see which students are paying attention to what he’s saying, and Mr. Evans glances at Sebastian. It’s pretty clear that he isn’t listening to him, he knows that, so when Mr. Evans looks right at him, Sebastian instantly understands how to catch his attention, the corners of his mouth turn up into a smirk and he bites his bottom lip, sinking his teeth and brushing them across his lip slowly.

It’s only two seconds but his teacher doesn’t look away immediately, staring back.  That’s enough to encourage Sebastian. If things continue like this he might achieve his goal sooner than he first thought. He’s confident he can do it. It might take time and effort, but he’s going to get that kiss.

Now Mr. Evans is walking around the class to see how his new students are doing with the equations he just gave them. Sebastian’s enjoying the way he walks, that firm and manly gait. The man is definitely his type, tall, muscular, a really pretty face. He laughs to himself, again, wondering if there’s really anyone on this planet that wouldn’t find this man handsome. If there is, those people needs to get their vision checked. When Mr. Evans starts walking towards him, Sebastian remembers he hasn’t even been trying to solve the equations.  
  
The problem is, Mr. Evans is way more interesting than math. And really, that’s not even an issue, it’s just a new hobby he can add to the list of things he does when he doesn’t want to pay attention in class. Mr. Evans is way more interesting than looking through the window.  
  
When Mr. Evans glances at Sebastian’s notebook, the teacher looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “Having trouble already?”

 Yes, a lot of trouble, you’re giving me a lot of dirty thoughts sir, Sebastian wants to reply. “Math has never been my thing,” he says instead. Grinning seductively he adds, “Perhaps you’ll be the one to change that?”  
  
“Well, let’s hope so,” Mr. Evans replies with a cute smile, before moving on, showing Sebastian his beautiful back again. Oh yes, his ass too, which is also quite nice. Biting his pencil, Sebastian watches him walking away. He really knows how to choose his clothing, because both his shirt and pants are form-fitting, showing off his body nicely.

He can’t seem to stop watching his new teacher, checking and looking intently at every part of his body, still really attracted to his beard,  and that helps the rest of the class fly by. He doesn't even bother trying to work on the problems Mr. Evans assigns, in fact it's the problems that give him the next step in his plan.

When the bell rings and class is over, Mr. Evans sits at his desk—as promised— looking over some papers. The rest of the class streams out of the room, none of them interested in asking questions or staying. Oh, but Sebastian is. When the last student has left, and he’s alone in the room with the teacher, he marches up to Mr. Evans’ desk.

"Excuse me, Mr. Evans, sir?" he says.

Mr. Evans glances up, looking somewhat startled. "Yes, what can I do for you, um?"

"Sebastian," he supplies helpfully. "I was wondering, Mr. Evans, you said that if we had questions, we could see  you after class?"

"Yes, you're right, I did say that, Sebastian." He's looking at him now and smiling, and Sebastian didn't think it was possible but he looks even hotter when he smiles.

"Well, sir, I was having a bit of trouble with the work today and I was wondering if you could help me?" He's got the teacher's attention now and doesn't let it go to waste. He darts his tongue out, sweeping it over his lips. With his eyes still on Mr. Evans, he pulls his teeth across his bottom lip, repeating the motion every few seconds.

“Yes, hm, sure, I can help you next time, on hm…” He looks at his papers, apparently trying to find a specific one.

Sebastian’s not sure if it’s his tongue giving him trouble to find his words or if Mr. Evans is just a little shy, but he likes both answers as to why he can seem to make a proper sentence. “Wednesday,” he says, trying to help, still letting his tongue wet his lower lip.   
  
“Yes, Wednesday,” he repeats as he stops searching, looking back at Sebastian. “ I can spend a little more time helping you. Just tell me what’s giving you trouble next time then.”

You. You’re giving me trouble sir, he thinks. “Pretty much everything, ‘told you, math isn’t my thing.” He smiles as widely as possible.

* * * *

By the time class is half over on Wednesday, Sebastian decides that Mr. Evans _is_ very distracted by his lip licking and biting. It's kind of a powerful feeling, knowing that he's causing his teacher to stammer or pause in what he's doing. Because that's definitely what's happening.

During the first half of class Mr. Evans covers the work from the previous class. Work Sebastian didn't bother to do.

"Alright, any questions on the work from last time before we move on?" Mr. Evans asks the class. 

Sebastian raises his hand and is already smirking before Mr. Evans comes to his desk, still very much enjoying the way Mr. Evans walks.

"What's your question, Sebastian."

Oh good, he remembers my name, Sebastian thinks. "I still don't understand the work, Mr. Evans," he says, flicking his tongue over his lip.

Leaning down to look at Sebastian’s paper, Mr. Evans blinks. He’s looking intently at Sebastian’s paper. His blank paper. "It looks like you didn't even try," Mr. Evans says after a moment.

Sebastian shrugs, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. "It's hard, sir." He tries not to laugh at his own joke.

Mr. Evans doesn't say anything at first. Then he looks at Sebastian. "We're moving on to the next chapter, it's covering a lot of the same material, but Sebastian, you have to at least try to do the work. I can't help you learn if you don't try."

“I try, it’s just.. really hard.” God Sebastian, same joke twice, you’re more creative than that. “And… I was kinda expecting you to help me…“ he bites his lower lip, trying to be seductive before adding, “Remember?”  
  
“Oh.”

Sebastian can’t tell if Mr. Evans is distracted by him or he just forgotten he’d promised to help him, but his expression is adorable.

 “Oh yeah right, I’m sorry, I completely forgot.”

He’s shaking his head, _damn_ is he starting to blush? Sebastian is really enjoying every second of this.

 “Um okay, I’ll help you after. Just let me give your classmates the next section to work on.”  
  
Sebastian nods, staring at his teacher’s ass while he walks back to his desk.

Making no effort to look at the paper from the last class, the one he still hasn't touched, Sebastian watches Mr. Evans walk around the room, daydreaming of what it would feels like to feel Mr. Evans’ beard brushing his face when he finally gets that kiss.

Mr. Evans gives an explanation of the next section to the rest of the class, handing out worksheets before he returns to Sebastian's desk.

"Alright, let's see what we've got here," Mr. Evans says, bending over behind Sebastian. He leans in close and starts talking about the first problem.

Damn. He's behind Sebastian so he's pretty sure Mr. Evans can't see his mouth, watch his tongue. But it's doubly frustrating because Mr. Evans's broad chest is pressed up against his back and honestly, that's pretty distracting. So it's partly to mess with the teacher, and partly because _he's_ getting uncomfortable that Sebastian squirms in his chair, feeling Mr. Evans chest flex against his shoulder blades.

He doesn’t only look muscular, he really is. It was only a brief touch but he felt  enough to know Mr. Evans has a very well muscled chest.  
  
“I don’t get it, can’t you just show me? I don’t understand where is that number supposed to go,” he tries to ask. He doesn’t even point at a number specifically, hoping his teacher will find one by himself because he has no idea what the equation even means.

His teacher grabs the pencil that was in Sebastian’s hand, his fingers brushing Sebastian’s lightly,   _god_ , and starts to underline things on his notebook. He’s clearly not paying attention to what ‘s going on because all he can see his Mr. Evans’ hands, his _fingers,_ right in front of him. And he’s leaning over his shoulder again. It’s _really_ distracting, and he can’t help but bite his lip, and not just to tease his teacher this time.  
  
“Is that any clearer?” Mr. Evans asks.

 Not at all. Wait what were they talking about ? Mr. Evans’ cologne is invading his thoughts, slowly pushing away his fascination for his fingers. He risks a glance at him, he’s so close his face, to his beard, he could touch if he wanted, _oh he wants to,_ but he can’t. Not now, but soon, _soon._

It's at that moment that Sebastian's fun game to distract his teacher, to try and kiss him, becomes something more. He actually _wants_ to kiss Mr. Evans. Wants him to kiss him back.

"I said, Sebastian, are you even paying attention to me?" Mr. Evans' voice, slightly exasperated now, brings him to his senses.

No, no he wasn't paying attention, well not to the numbers on the paper. Instead he was paying attention to Mr. Evans' fingers and how close he was and how nice he smelled.

"Sorry sir," he says, trying to remember what they were doing. "I just get easily confused... with numbers." Or you know, with my hot teacher standing this close.

“Yeah, I see that.” He gives him a small smile.

He’s smiling at him. Come on Sebastian don’t be a clichéd horny teenager. But he bites his lip again, and again it’s not only to distract his teacher.

“I have to go back to the rest of the class. If you need my help again, ask. But try to pay attention, I’m sure that would help a lot.” He smiles again, raising his eyebrows, and walks back to the blackboard.   
  
Sebastian wets his lower lip and grabs the pencil his teacher left on his desk, his own pencil actually. He brings it in at his lips, and starts chewing it, absentmindedly moving it around in his mouth.  
  
He stares like that at Mr. Evans talking, making sure to chew the pencil when the teacher looks back at him. Which happens quite a lot.   
  
“Alright, five minutes left, that’s all for today, are there any question?” he asks, scanning the room before turning his eyes in a specific direction, looking at Sebastian.

Sebastian knows this is his chance, to talk to Mr. Evans, to ask for more help. But once Mr. Evans looks at him, he can't seem to actually say anything. He's too busy working the pencil in his mouth and then appreciating Mr. Evans' reaction.

Mr. Evans stares right at him, at the pencil and a tiny thrill shoots through Sebastian. There's a moment of silence and then Mr. Evans repeats himself.

"Ah, um... any questions?" No one has time to speak before the bell rings. Everyone's in a hurry to leave class. Everyone except Sebastian who's still working the pencil with his teeth and tongue, staring in Mr. Evans direction.

And he stares back for a few seconds.   
  
It’s only when five students are left in the room that Sebastian starts packing up his stuff. Not taking the pencil out of his mouth. He starts walking towards the door, pausing when he hears his teacher.  
  
“Mr. Stan?” he calls him by his last name. That means he looked for it in the list of his students. That puts a smile on Sebastian’s face and he’s still grinning when he turns back to face his teacher. “Yeah?”  
  
“You still have your pencil in your mouth.”  
  
“Oh!“  He badly fakes a surprised expression. “Thank you.” He grins, grabbing the pencil in his hand, pointing at Mr. Evans, before leaving the classroom.

As he leaves the room, Sebastian feels a little victorious, he's obviously getting Mr. Evans’ attention.

* * * *

The next time he has Mr. Evans’ class, he decides to step up his little game. He still hasn't done any of the work, not from Monday or Wednesday. Maybe that will get Mr. Evans to come stand by his chair again.

Taking his usual seat in the back of the class, Sebastian watches Mr. Evans fill the board with equations. Well, he watches Mr. Evans, he could care less about the board.

And just like last time, when Mr. Evans comes around to check the work from the last class, Sebastian has a blank paper in front of him.

"What's going on here, Sebastian?" Mr. Evans asks.

"Well, sir, I told you, I'm just finding all these numbers a little hard. I think I need a hand." He can’t help but think he should really find some other innuendos and jokes, something a little more original.

"Sebastian."

He's already licking his lips, contemplating whether to put his pencil in his mouth again when Mr. Evans' voice commands his attention.

"Yes, _Mr. Evans_?"

"Are you even trying? You don't seem to have done any of the work this week. It's not even that you're trying and getting it wrong, you're just _not trying_!"

“I am, it’s just…“ Sebastian was starting to smile but Mr. Evans interrupts him.  
  
“Just what?” He’s asking, and he doesn’t look amused this time.  
  
“I’m trying, I am.” Sebastian tries to find a plausible explanation outside of ‘I’m trying to get your attention because you’re really hot and I’d like to kiss you.’  
  
“You don’t seem like trying to me and I don’t really like you taking me for an idiot. I have other things to do with my Friday night than keeping you after class, but on Monday you’ll stay in detention with me, and you’re going to work.”

Wow. That was a little abrupt, but seeing him cross his arms over his chest is the only thing Sebastian can think about right now. "Yes, Mr. Evans," he finally says, still enjoying the way his teacher's arms look crossed over his chest like that. Damn.

"Good, and I expect you to at least attempt some of this work over the weekend, are we clear?"

Sebastian nods and flashes Mr. Evans a smile. He gets a nod in return as Mr. Evans goes back to the front of the room.

This time when class is over, Sebastian doesn't try to hang around. When the bell rings he's right in the middle of the rush to get through the door.

* * * *

Over the weekend, he does try, a little, to do some of the work. But now that he's actually trying to do it, well, he realizes it really is difficult. Great, Mr. Evans is going to be pissed. That of course brings to mind the image of him, with arms crossed, looking stern. And then the rest of the math problems are a lost cause.

* * * *

On Monday, Mr. Evans doesn't seem quite as annoyed. He must have had a good weekend, Sebastian muses. Of course, he's pretty sure that he _will_ be annoyed when he sees the work Sebastian didn't do.

When Mr. Evans starts walking around the room, quickly checking everyone’s homework, Sebastian can’t stop his eyes from following him and enjoying every second of it. And when Mr. Evans comes closer, moving toward his desk, they both stare at each other a few seconds. So, of course, Sebastian has to lick his lower lip when that happens.  
  
Mr. Evans looks at Sebastian’s notebook, then Sebastian, and his notebook again and back to Sebastian.

“I tried.” He attempts to explain why there are erasures everywhere, but Mr. Evans sighs.  
  
“All right, I’ll see how I can help you during detention then.”

 Detention, that’s right. Sebastian will be all alone with his teacher, will have his attention all to himself. Good, that’s good. Mr. Evans keeps moving but before that, he smiles kindly at him. Sebastian almost hates to admit how much that smile affects him. It’s _practically_ a reflex now, to bite his lip softly when he sees it.

Knowing he'll have detention, and Mr. Evans all to himself, is enough to stop Sebastian from even attempting any work during the rest of class. His time is spent watching Mr. Evans and making sure Mr. Evans is watching him.

This means that he catches Mr. Evans' eye several times, and each time he's rewarded with a smile. It's all the encouragement he needs and when that smile hits Mr. Evans’ lips, Sebastian makes sure he licks his own in response. Or bites them. It's almost starting to feel like Mr. Evans is turning his eyes to him _more_ often than he was before. Good.

When class ends, Sebastian hangs back, making sure he's the last one left in the classroom. Mr. Evans is sitting at his desk, looking over papers, but when Sebastian approaches, he looks up.

"Detention this afternoon," he reminds Sebastian.

"Yes, Mr. Evans, I remember." He couldn’t forget it, he’s actually excited to have Mr. Evans’ attention all to himself.

"We'll have plenty of one-on-one time to help you figure out the stuff you've been having a hard time with," Mr. Evans says with a smile.

Oh yes, that smile. It _is_ a reflex now to lick his lips when he sees that smile. "I'm looking forward to it," he says.

And honestly, it's the first time he's ever looked forward to detention in his life.

The first time he’s _happy_ to get in detention in fact.

* * * *

When the time comes, Sebastian stands at the door, observing his teacher concentrating on something. He knocks at the already open door, only to signal his presence. Mr. Evans looks up to him, honoring Sebastian with another of his smiles. He smiles at him in return before licking his lower lip.  
  
“Mr. Stan.” 

“Waiting for me?” He jokes, staring at him. Mr. Evans doesn’t respond and looks back at whatever he was doing before Sebastian interrupted him.  
  
For the first time in what feels like forever, Sebastian sits in the front row. Straight across from his teacher’s desk. Yes, that’s a good choice of seat.

Mr. Evans ignores him for awhile, fixated on whatever he's looking at. Sebastian isn't sure what he's supposed to be doing, but he pulls out his math notebooks anyway.

Finally, Mr. Evans looks up. Sighs. "Sebastian," he says, looking straight at him.

It's a little unnerving to have all of Mr. Evans attention focused solely on him.

"I've been looking over your work from earlier in the school year," he continues. "I don't understand why you were doing fairly well, and then Mr. Renner leaves and suddenly you seem to have forgotten how to do any class work or homework."

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Sebastian returns Mr. Evans' stare. Doesn't speak.

Mr. Evans gets up then, coming from around his desk to stand in front of Sebastian. He's close enough that Sebastian could reach out and touch him if he wanted to. Oh, he does want to. But he doesn't do it, just sits and stares up at Mr. Evans.

"Care to tell me what's going on here? I feel like you're never paying attention in class."

Oh, Sebastian's been paying attention all right, just not to any of the lessons.

“We just moved to another chapter, and this one is apparently too difficult for me to focus on.” Because the only thing he can focus on is his teacher, not what he’s supposed to be learning.  
  
Mr. Evans is staring at him, looking him straight in the eyes. What beautiful blue eyes you have there, sir. It almost distracts Sebastian for a second, but then he licks his lower lip again, waiting for an answer glancing at his lips, and his beard.  
  
“Hm, I see, then I’d better help you catch up.” Mr. Evans raises his eyebrows. “Because you’re already starting to fall behind the rest of the class.”

Mr. Evans grabs the nearest chair and pulls it over to the side of Sebastian's desk. He doesn't just sit down though, no, he flips the chair around and straddles it, resting his folded arms on the back of the chair. Sebastian gulps, it's pretty damn distracting to see him sitting like that.

"Sorry, sir," he says. "I just don't seem to have a good grasp on the stuff we're covering in this section." He knows what he'd like to have a good grasp on... Mr. Evans' forearms for a start. Sebastian licks his lips, watching the teacher intently.

Mr. Evans looks at him carefully with those amazing blue eyes.

"Let's start with last Monday's work," he finally says. Mr. Evans picks up Sebastian's pencil from his desk, preparing to write, but pauses when he takes note of all the teeth marks on the end of it.

“Sorry,“ Sebastian says, holding back a laugh. “It’s just, I get distracted easily and that’s kind of an habit to chew my pencils.” At least it’s become an habit now.  
  
Mr. Evans nods and starts digging into Sebastian’s stuff to find another pencil. Sebastian really likes seeing those fingers moving like that. He’s daydreaming again, about his teacher’s hands, when he’s pulled back to earth by Mr. Evans’ voice.  
  
“Sebastian?”  
  
“Oh sorry, yeah, I’m listening.” It’s not convincing at all but Mr. Evans doesn’t seem to care and starts explaining complicated stuff about annoying other stuff, and Sebastian is _really_ not paying attention. Just staring at him talking and nodding once in a while, sharing smiles, asking a question or two, pretending to care about those dumb equations.

Eventually Mr. Evans stops talking and Sebastian is just... staring.

"Sebastian?" Mr. Evans' eyebrows go up, "Earth to Sebastian?"

"Oh, right, sorry. I was trying to concentrate. On the equations you were explaining," Sebastian lies, he was just focusing on how deep and blue Mr. Evans’ eyes are, and again what it would feel like to brush his fingers over that beard.

"OK, maybe they're sinking in then." Mr. Evans doesn’t sound all that convinced. He’s sure Mr. Evans’ instructions aren’t sinking in, since he isn’t paying attention, but his teeth _do_ sink in his lower lip. "Can you solve that one for me," he says, pointing to a problem in the book.

"Sure," Sebastian says. He shifts in his seat, tapping the tip of the pencil on the paper. What had Mr. Evans said, something about how to do this... he has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Several minutes pass and he's still staring at the paper.

"Sebastian, it helps if you actually try to write something down," Mr. Evans says with a sigh. "I'm starting to get a little frustrated with the amount of effort you're _not_ putting into this."

"I’m sorry, I just…" Sebastian straightens himself on his chair "I have a lot on my mind lately and…" What? It’s true, well okay that may sound more sad than it really is. Mr. Evans is probably thinking Sebastian is going through a hard time, meanwhile in fact, _he_ is giving him a hard time. "Can you just explain it again? One last time?"  
  
Mr. Evans gives him a compassionate smile in return and nods. “Sure.” Looking straight into his eyes he adds, “Try to focus this time, hm?”

Sebastian is always focusing, just never on math. Listening intently to Mr. Evans' voice, Sebastian realizes two things. One, his teacher has a deep, sexy voice and two, he still has no idea how in the hell to do these equations.

Mr. Evans finishes talking, looks at Sebastian expectantly and says, "So, think you can give it one more shot?"

Sebastian nods, concentrating on the numbers in front of him. He makes a point to stick his tongue out between his lips; it makes him look like he's thinking hard and hopefully is somewhat distracting to Mr. Evans. He scribbles down something that seems like it might be the right answer, he's not entirely stupid, but he really hasn't been paying attention lately.

When he's finished he slides the paper towards Mr. Evans, looking up at him hopefully. "How did I do, _Mr. Evans_ ," he asks, giving his lips a lick.

Mr. Evans checks the answers, and look up to Sebastian. “Well there’s one mistake but the rest is good” he smiles proudly.   
  
Wait? Only one mistake, how did he manage that? Oh well, it doesn’t matter because that smile is stunning. Sebastian needs to bite his lower lip at this vision.  
  
“See ? When you focus you can do—” the bell rings interrupting Mr. Evans’ compliments. “Okay, I think your punishment is over!” he laughs.  
  
Oh yeah, right, that was a punishment. Too bad it’s already over. And that laugh… Is there even _anything_ unattractive about this man?

As Sebastian gathers up his stuff, he realizes it's also the first time he was ever sad that detention was over. "Thanks for your help, Mr. Evans.” He smirks. "It was nice to have your undivided attention."

"Well, just try and get some more work done before the next class, okay?"

"Sure thing," he says, but he really has no intention of going home and doing equations. He'd rather go home and think about his math teacher.

Mr. Evans rewards him with a smile, standing up so they can both leave. "See you Wednesday, yeah?"

* * * *

When class starts Wednesday, Mr. Evans gives him a big smile and a thumbs up. How cute, he's trying to be encouraging, Sebastian knows, but if anything, it just makes him want to kiss Mr. Evans more.

Once again, he spends the entire period not even pretending to pay attention to the math or attempt the work. In fact, he's so involved in staring at Mr. Evans and trying to keep his attention every time they make eye contact, he almost doesn't notice when class ends.

That’s when he has an idea, a brilliant idea. He waits for most of the students to leave and starts walking to his teacher’s desk.  
  
“Mr. Evans ?”  
  
“Hm?“ He’s tidying up his desk when he looks up to see who’s talking. “Oh, Sebastian,” he says, smiling at him. “How was class ? Did you have trouble following the lesson?”  
  
He cares about Sebastian, aw, how sweet. That only furthers his desire to kiss Mr. Evans, but it’s not an option _for now_ , so he just bites his lower lip. “Um, well there’s still stuff I don’t get, that’s why I came to talk to you in fact..”  
  
“Oh ? Well tell me, what can I do for you?” Mr. Evans sits on the edge of his desk, listening intently.

"Well, that's the thing, Mr. Evans..." He tries to look sheepish, like he's unsure and confused but he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. "I found it so much easier to understand things when you were explaining them in detention the other afternoon."

Mr. Evans looks at him, his brows drawing together. "I explained things the same way to the entire class as I did to you."

"I know, but I think it's just easier for me to concentrate, you know, when I have your undivided attention." He looks down at his shoes, peeking at Mr. Evans through his eyelashes.

"Hmm, I see. So you're having trouble staying focused in class? Is that the problem?"

Sebastian nods, biting his lip as he looks up at Mr. Evans.

"Sebastian, have you ever considered getting a tutor to help you with your math?"

“Well, if you read my file about my grades, you should know I don’t really get along with most of my teachers...” Actually every teacher besides him.  
  
“Yeah.” Mr. Evans laughs a little. “I read that, yes. I wonder why I haven’t seen that side of you yet.”  
  
“Well you put me in detention after a week…”

He doesn’t answer, just smiles at him. It’s true though, Sebastian hasn’t shown him that side of himself, instead he’s showing another one, a teasing one.

“But what about you being my tutor?” Sebastian looks at him, smiling back.  
  
“Oh... oh. Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure I can do that.” Mr. Evans gets up on his feet, crossing his arms on his chest. Those arms are huge and a _huge_ distraction.

"Please, Mr. Evans." He's not whining, but Sebastian makes sure to use every ounce of charm he has.

Mr. Evans still looks unsure, but Sebastian can see his expression changing, softening. He runs his hand down his face, rubbing across his chin, his fingers scratching absentmindedly at his beard. "I'm not really sure I'm supposed to do that kind of thing..."

Sure, he's probably not, but Sebastian isn't going to give up that easily. He puts on his best pout. "You're the only teacher that's ever tried to help me."

Mr. Evans sighs. Shakes his head. "Alright, fine. So where should we meet, that coffee shop downtown, or at your house?"

Sebastian tries to not smile too wide. “Well, we can’t use my house, my mom works late most of the time, and she usually sleeps during the day.”   
  
Mr. Evans sighs once again “I see, coffee shop then?”  
  
“Well, if we go there we need to buy something to eat or drink... and I don’t really have the money for that.” Come on Mr. Evans, think again.   
  
“Hm… truthfully, neither do I,” Mr. Evans says, scratching his head. “Okay, I think maybe we could  use... my place then? I mean, if you’re comfortable with that idea.”  He puts his hands on his hips.

 _Oh_ , he’s really comfortable with that idea. Sebastian nods softly, licking his lower lip. Damn, that waist to shoulder ratio is impressive, he nods softly.

 “I’m not sure it’s the best idea ever, but at least we have somewhere for you to study.”

_Or to make out._

"Mr. Evans, that would be so cool of you," Sebastian says. "When can I come over?" He pauses, looking pointedly at Mr. Evans. "So you can _help_ me?"

Mr. Evans sighs, rubbing that hand across his chin again. "Well, why don't we try for Saturday afternoon?" He smiles a little, just a flash of straight, white teeth. "How does that sound?"

A wide grin spreads across Sebastian's face. "That sounds great, Mr. Evans." It sounds better than great, it sounds absolutely perfect.

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Sebastian raises his eyebrows. “So… can… I have your address then ?”   
  
Mr. Evans’ face goes pale then pink as he quickly grows agitated. “Oh! Yeah! Sure! Hm, sorry, yes, just give me…” He grabs a pen and a notebook and write down something quickly, tears a bit of the sheet and lend it to Sebastian. “Here,” he says with a smile.  
  
Sebastian grabs the paper from his hand, making sure to brush against his teacher’s fingers. “Great, so Saturday afternoon then ? Around what time?” Sebastian starts pouting, waiting for an answer.  
  
“Hm, does three o’clock sound okay?”

Sebastian nods, that’s perfect.


	2. How About We Take A Snack Break

On Saturday afternoon, Chris finds himself a little more nervous than should be normal. He's never tutored a student in his house before, he hasn't even been a full-time teacher that long. But Sebastian seems to really need the extra help, and the last thing he wants is for one of his first students to fail.

Not just that, but there’s something about Sebastian. He can't quite put his finger on it, but if he didn't know any better he would almost think Sebastian was... flirting with him. He tells himself it’s crazy, he’s obviously imagining things. Sure, the kid is cute, but he’s a _kid_ , one of his students, so it's not like it matters.

He checks the time, wondering if he can sneak out back and smoke a cigarette before Sebastian is due to arrive. Probably not. Instead he figures  they should have a snack, brain food, something to make studying a little easier,  so he slices up some apples and arranges them on a plate. Just as he set the plate on the middle of the table, his doorbell rings.

Smoothing his hands down the front of his shirt, he answers the door to find Sebastian standing there smiling, the way he always seemed to be.

"You came," Chris says politely. It’s somewhat surprising that Sebastian has actually shown up, considering how little he seems to care about the work. Chris is really glad he did though, and knowing Sebastian says he works better with someone helping him, having a teacher’s attention solely on him, he probably will make progress today.

"Of course I did, _Mr. Evans_ ," Sebastian answers, and Chris swears he’s smirking now.

“Well, come in.” Chris steps back so Sebastian can come inside. “Take a seat,” he smiles, pointing to the table in the middle of the kitchen.  
  
Sebastian walks to toward the table, hanging his bag on the back of the chair, before noticing the apples and looking up at Chris, apparently amused.  
  
“In case you’re hungry.” He tries to justify himself, like he needs to.   
  
Sebastian scoffs, “Really, Mr. Evans? I’m eighteen, not eight...”  
  
Chris smiles back, he eats fruit all the time and he isn’t eight either, but the remark amuses him. “Before we start, I think it’s only fair if you want to call me Chris outside of school.”  
  
“Chris,” repeats Sebastian, staring at him, licking his lips. It’s probably just a tic but every time the kid does that it’s difficult for Chris to not do the same. The way he always stares at him intently, as if he can read his mind is always quite distracting too.

Shaking his head, Chris offers Sebastian a seat and then takes one across from him. "Let's start with the first worksheet I assigned, the one we were looking at in detention the other day, shall we?"

Sebastian digs through his bag, bringing out his textbook, a notebook and that chewed up pencil. "I still haven't been able to get any of these problems done, Mr. Evans."

"It's Chris, remember?" He's trying to be polite, it doesn't really matter to him what the kid calls him. Sebastian smirks at him, biting his lip. He really _is_ a kid, Chris reminds himself. "Have you made any progress at all?"

Sebastian looks down at his paper, then back to Chris. "No, not really." He doesn't say it as though he's upset, it's almost like he's proud that he hasn't done any work, and _that_ upsets Chris a little.

"Well, then let's get started, we've got a lot of stuff to get you caught up on."

“Sure _Chris_ ,” Sebastian says as he grins.  
  
Pulling his chair around the side of the table, Chris sits next to Sebastian so he can read and see what his student is doing, but that’s probably the stupidest idea ever. He has to watch every lip lick, lip bite, and every cocky grin, and it’s hard for Chris to focus. Student, your student, Chris reminds himself one more time, just in case.  
  
He tries to keep his attention on the math book, avoiding any kind of eye contact with Sebastian. He fails multiple times, but at least he manages to stop from biting his lip or licking his lips in response to Sebastian doing those things.   
  
Sebastian isn’t taking anything seriously, and he seems to be somewhere else, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the equations. It almost seems like he’s paying more attention to Chris instead.  
  
After a few minutes of this Chris has become so uncomfortable he starts praying for a break, but he can’t do that, they haven’t even made any progress yet. So he tries another tactic, he gets up on his feet and starts pacing around the room, helping Sebastian by calling out instructions and encouragement, but mostly just running away from him and his teasing tongue.

It helps, _a little_. Sebastian manages to get through one or two problems while Chris circles the room. He can't exactly ignore Sebastian, he's there for a purpose, for Chris to help him with his work, but that doesn't make it any easier.

But every time he looks at Sebastian, there's that tongue, or that wicked smirk. He doesn't know how the kid is concentrating for as much flirting as he's doing. That _is_ what it is, Chris decides. There's no mistaking it now, now that it's just the two of them in a room together. It’s an even better reason to stay away, to try not to encourage him.

Somehow, Sebastian manages to complete that first worksheet, the one from over a week ago. Breathing a sigh of relief, Chris sits back at the table, starting to get a little tired of wandering around the small room.  "How about we take a snack break," he says, pulling the plate of apples over.

“Why not,” Sebastian answers with that cocky smirk again, staring at him, taking a bite out of an apple slice. He doesn’t just bite it, no Sebastian makes a show of sucking and licking outrageously at the poor apple. Chris is struggling more than ever to not show any kind of inappropriate reaction. Get yourself together Chris, that’s your student, that’s not happening he keeps repeating to himself.  
  
When Sebastian’s hand fall on his lap, Chris jumps to his feet. “What are you doing?!” He starts, shouting a little louder than he intended. “You can’t do that things like that!” He maybe panics a little there. “That’s inappropriate, I’m your teacher!” Okay, maybe not just a little. But he can’t just let it go, that would just encourage Sebastian and it’s not like it isn’t difficult for him already to not lick his lips back when Sebastian does.  
  
Sebastian gets up too and stares at him.

“If you don’t want to take things seriously you can leav—” his sentence cuts off in a muffled whisper as Sebastian presses his lips against his.

The first thing he notices is that Sebastian's mouth tastes like apples. That thought is quickly followed by how _good_ the kiss feels and after that it takes a few seconds to register that this is wrong. _So very wrong_.

He pushes Sebastian away, but not as quickly as he should have. They're still so close, and Sebastian's mouth looks so inviting, but god, he's a kid, one of his students. "What was that? We can't do that! That shouldn't have happened!" He’s panicking again. He just kissed one of his students, well, he was kissed by one of his student, but this isn’t okay, no matter how good it felt.

Sebastian licks his lips, that tongue a dangerous distraction, and gives a small chuckle. "What's wrong, _Mr. Evans_? You didn't like it?"

It’s only the span of a few seconds, but there’s so much going through Chris’ mind. It’s wrong. But it’s good. He’s staring at Sebastian intently, watching his mouth, observing those pink lips and that tongue. What is happening to him. He shouldn’t behave like this. He’s the grownup and he’s not thinking anymore. Not thinking like Sebastian’s teacher.

Grabbing Sebastian’s face in his hands, he kisses him.  
  
He opens his mouth and tastes the apple flavor on Sebastian’s tongue. It’s not a gentle kiss at all, Sebastian has been such a tease, flirting with him for days and days, he just can’t behave or think properly when Sebastian’s tongue is dancing fervently in his mouth. That same tongue that makes it so hard for him to concentrate.

Knowing it's a bad decision and stopping himself are two entirely different things. There's a part of Chris' brain that's flashing warning signals and telling him "NO!" But it's almost too easy to ignore when every other part of him is screaming "YES!"

It's not just him enjoying the kiss though, it's obvious Sebastian is too. Of course he would be, he's the one that started it all.

It's hard to even think straight when Sebastian's hands are all over him, grasping at his back, slipping underneath his shirt. Even harder when he moans into Chris' mouth.

Chris doesn’t notice when he starts dragging Sebastian down the hall, to his bedroom, without even breaking the kiss. He knows it’s _so_ wrong, but he just can’t stop kissing him. And Sebastian is practically taking off his shirt along the way.  
  
He’s a teacher for God’s sake, he shouldn’t be taking advantage of one of his students, but he’s almost the one being taken advantage of here. Sebastian was being a tease during the whole tutoring session, and during every class since Chris became his teacher. And now Sebastian is the one pulling at his clothes and kissing him like he knows what he’s doing.   
  
It’s when Sebastian’s hands are on the zipper of Chris’ jeans that he stops him, having a moment of clarity and conscience. He places his hand over Sebastian’s and Sebastian pauses, looks at Chris, challenging him.   
  
Chris’ voice is strained, he’s so turned on, he’s feeling like _he’s_ the high school kid. “Sebastian, stop. We can’t do this. I’m your teacher, it’s not right.” He’s whispering, his lips against Sebastian’s mouth, panting, he’s not convincing. He doesn’t convince himself at least, he still wants to kiss him again, he’s seconds away from doing it.  
  
Sebastian’s hand is warm under his and even with Chris’ larger hand on top, Sebastian won’t stop moving, squeezing and kneading. “But Mr. Evans, I don’t want to stop, don’t you get it?” Sebastian says, pushing Chris back onto the bed.  
  
And honestly Chris doesn’t want him to stop either. He’s going straight to hell for that, but he doesn’t care. He wishes he wanted Sebastian to stop, wishes he could control himself but oh god he doesn’t have the strength to. It’s too late because now Sebastian is on his knees, Chris’ pants are around his ankles, and he’s breathless at the vision of Sebastian putting his cock in his mouth.

God, Sebastian _really_ knows what he’s doing. His mouth is so wet, so warm. All Chris can think is that this isn’t his first time doing this. There’s a moment of panic when he wonders if he’s done this with other teachers. For what? Blackmail?

 But when he looks down at Sebastian and sees how much he’s _enjoying_ what he’s doing, that thought flies right out of his mind.

It was a mistake looking down at Sebastian, because he looks right back at Chris, with his eager eyes and his lips curled around Chris’ cock and it’s truly an amazing view.  He’s got the mouth of an angel. It just feels so good and now Chris is breathing loudly, his mouth hanging open.

Bringing his hands down, Chris braces one on Sebastian’s shoulder, and wraps the fingers of his other hand in Sebastian’s hair. A part of him still wishes he could tell him to stop because it’s _so_ wrong, but shit, it’s so good. He knows he won’t last long, not with as good as this feels, not with how much of a tease Sebastian has been. He was teasing him, licking his lips with the same tongue that’s him making moan silently right now. _God,_ this is so wrong.

He's barely coherent enough to say anything. He should be pushing Sebastian away, but he can’t.  Wouldn't be able to at this point. What he really wants to do is hold Sebastian's head in his hands and let his hips go, but he knows he should say _something_. With a gasp, he manages to speak. "Sebastian, I'm so close. You... you have to stop now..." Oh god, why didn’t he tell him to stop sooner, it's wrong, but that's not what he wants. "You have to stop or you have to keep going," he groans. "I'm gonna come..."

Apparently that’s _exactly_ what Sebastian wants, Chris can tell he’s grinning and then he goes faster, his mouth and tongue more insistent. Chris’ legs are trembling and it’s only encouraging Sebastian.

He looks up at Chris again, as if he wants to see Chris’ face when he comes.

And, _oh god_ , that view. Chris has to bite his lower lip when he sees it. His mouth falls open, waiting for noises to come out, but there are none.  
  
He’s trembling uncontrollably, pleasure taking over his body and it’s just a matter of seconds before Chris throws his head back as he comes. Letting out a half moan, a sound that becomes strangled in his throat as he feels Sebastian swallowing everything. Oh fuck, he was right, this kid _does_ have the mouth of an angel. Chris isn’t sure he’s ever had a blowjob that good. That may also be due to the situation, to the shock of having just received a blowjob from one of his students.

He’s still recovering, still feeling euphoric when he looks down to see Sebastian still on his knees in front of him, his hands and mouth still on him. He’s staring at Chris, he’s blushing and he’s panting, but the kid looks less sure of himself now. Like he maybe wasn’t expecting things to go quite this far. He briefly looks into Chris’ eyes before he looks down, his mouth releasing its hold on his cock slowly.  
  
After a few seconds Chris takes Sebastian’s face in his hands, gently lifting it up, looking into his eyes. “Hey...” he says. “Sebastian,” he speaks a little softer. “Come here.”   
  
He pulls Sebastian up onto the bed with him, stroking his back and smoothing his hair. “You know you didn’t have to do that,” Chris tells him, of course he didn’t have to but his expression makes Chris doubt he knew he could have stopped. “I mean, thank you, it was amazing, but I’m not sure what’s going on here.”   
  
Chris doesn’t know how they ended up like this, or what Sebastian was hoping would happen. This sure as hell isn’t what he was expecting from the tutoring session. “Talk to me kid,” he says when Sebastian still haven’t said a word. He looks lost and completely scared, that’s in very sharp contrast to what was happening minutes ago.   
  
“I don’t know.” Sebastian murmurs, still trying to avoid his gaze.

“You don’t know what Sebastian?” Now Chris is starting to feel scared. Oh god what if… it’s horrible and unthinkable but what if him letting this happened was something like _rape_? He’s horrified by that thought.

“I don’t know why I did that. I mean I do. I wanted to—”

“But you regret it?” Chris interrupts him.

“ _No_! No, no I don’t, it’s just… I guess I’m scared of what you’ll think of me now.”

A feeling of relief washes over him. He doesn’t think badly of Sebastian, can’t, because it’s as much his fault for letting it happen as anything. “Please trust me, I don’t think anything bad. I still think you’re smart, and this all cocky attitude is a façade. And I think you know damn well how to use your mouth.” This makes Sebastian laughs, which is good because he was looking like he was about to cry.

"Good, I mean, I'm glad you aren't mad at me," Sebastian says. "I just got carried away, I thought I would see if I could kiss you, and when I did... I didn't want to stop. I wanted you."

Chris nods, he understands all too well the not wanting to stop. "Sebastian,” he says before he kisses his forehead. “What we did was amazing, but we _really_ shouldn't have done it." Chris is calm, choosing his words carefully so he doesn’t upset Sebastian. "I could lose my job for this... but that doesn't mean I didn't love every second of it and I hope you didn’t feel like you were forced to do it."

Sebastian stares at him. He looks like he’s going to cry again and Chris finds himself wishing he knew what kind of thing to say in this situation. “Hey, no, no don’t cry.” They’re the only words he can think of.

He doesn’t know _why_ , but he gets up and go in the living room, pulling his clothes on quickly before bringing back the apples. “Here, eat something,” he says, holding out the plate for Sebastian.

Sebastian’s still looking at him, just gawking.

“ _Please_.” He’s insistent and Sebastian finally does take a slice of apple.

Chris strokes Sebastian’s back, trying to comfort him as he speaks. “We can’t do this again. If you think we should stop that tutoring thing because it will be too hard for you, then we can, you know. I think it’s more reasonable to stop actually. I can find you another tutor, I know a good one—”

Sebastian _is_ crying now, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. And Chris clearly has no idea what to do, what to say, he doesn’t even understand how they went from tutoring, to having Sebastian blowing him to Sebastian crying in such a short amount of time.

“Please stop crying… C’mere.” He pulls Sebastian into a hug, caressing his hair. They stay like this for a moment, Chris soothing Sebastian as they eat the apples.

It’s gotten late without either of them noticing, but after exchanging awkward goodbyes and Sebastian finally leaving, Chris leans against the door, a sinking feeling coming over him.  _What have I done? What in the hell have I done?_ He’s all alone with his thoughts now and those thoughts are rough. He _really_ needs that cigarette now.


	3. Can I Be Honest?

It was so wrong, but it felt so right. Even so, Chris knows it can't happen again, but it's not an easy thing, having Sebastian in his class every other day, seeing the way he looks at him. And the things he does when he knows Chris is watching, Jesus. The mouth on Sebastian is glorious, and Chris knows all too well what that mouth is capable of.

It’s nearly three weeks after that train wreck of a tutoring session when Sebastian brings him an apple. Chris is sitting at his desk, looking through papers and when he notices a hand dropping an apple onto his desk, Chris’ first instinct is to look for Sebastian. He knows there’s only one person that would bring it to class. He glances up from the hand leaving the apple on his desk and watches Sebastian walking to his find his seat, smirking.

Two can play this game, Chris decides. He's going to tease him right back. He knows it’s a dangerous game he’s playing, flirting with a student while they're in class, but he does it anyway. To anyone else, it's just eating an apple. But he knows Sebastian will think of other things. So he eats the apple, biting into it and licking the juice off his fingers while the class works on a quiz. Chris makes his way around the room, checking to make sure everyone is working. He stops by Sebastian's desk and it's nothing unusual, teachers are always checking to make sure Sebastian is actually working and not goofing off. "How are you getting along, Sebastian?" he asks quietly. "I hope these problems aren't giving you too hard of a time?"

Sebastian chokes, he clearly wasn’t expecting Chris to tease him with the apple. He probably wasn’t even expecting him to eat it. But Chris is, and now he’s standing next to Sebastian, biting into the apple loudly and from the way Sebastian is squirming in his chair, Chris is willing to bet he’s hiding an erection.

 “Well I could use a hand Mr. Evans,” Sebastian says, looking at him, licking his lips. “If you want to help me, please go ahead.” The student in front of him laughs, because it’s a test, not class work. 

“I’m sure you’re doing great by yourself. I know you can.” He raises an eyebrow and bites into the apple again before moving back to his desk. He’s proud of himself— but he shouldn’t be.

When the class ends and all of the other students have turned in their work, except for Sebastian, Chris is concerned. Is Sebastian really having trouble with the work, or is he just trying make trouble again.

The bell rings, and one by one, the other students file out of the room. Sebastian is still sitting there at his desk. He's not even pretending he's working on the problems now. He's just staring at Chris, biting his lower lip.

So Chris approaches Sebastian's desk. The apple is gone now, but Chris knows the scent still lingers on his breath.

"Sebastian, what's going on? Why didn't you finish and turn your paper in?" He sits on the very edge of Sebastian's desk and waits for an answer.

“I finished it, I just didn’t give it to you.” He looks at him with such a teasing face “Yet…”

“What were you waiting for?” Chris asks, glad and relieved Sebastian actually finished his work.

“A promise” Sebastian replies “I want you to promise me you won’t look at it until tonight.”

Chris wonders what the hell he’s talking about and he tries to say something but Sebastian gets up, picks up his paper, hiding it from Chris’ view and says, “Promise?”

“Yeah, okay, I promise.”

Sebastian grins and leaves, letting his hand touches Chris’ thigh before he walks away, and put his paper on Chris’ desk on his way out of the room.

* * * *

Chris keeps his promise and fights the urge to look at Sebastian’s work until he gets home. When he’s finally home he looks for his paper to read it first, impatient to see what kind of game Sebastian is playing this time, and on the margins of the paper, beside each problem, the kid wrote extremely dirty things, and the more he reads, the more he’s turned on.

_Of course_ it turns him on, he can't get Sebastian out of his head, and he won't lie, he's thought about that afternoon at his house so many times, wishing it could happen again, but he knows it shouldn't. He shouldn’t even be thinking about it.

* * * *

The next day in class, he sees Sebastian smirking at him, doing that thing with his tongue, just letting it dart out and wet his lips, and Chris is pretty sure that Sebastian can tell from the look on his face that he read his note. Read it and liked it.

When class is over that day, again, Sebastian is the last one to leave. Chris tries to ignore him, stays at his own desk, waiting for Sebastian to leave. But he doesn't and Chris has had enough. "Sebastian, what are you still doing here? I read those notes on your paper last night and they were entirely inappropriate." He keeps his voice quiet, the classroom door is shut but he doesn't want someone overhearing them.

That's when Sebastian gets up, walks over to Chris' desk. "Inappropriate maybe, but you liked it, didn't you?" He grins cockily. "I can tell. I know you still want me."

Leaning on Chris’ desk he adds, “I know you think of me, and you thought of me last night, I know I was in your fantasies when you jerked off.”

God, Chris has to swallow really hard after that, he won’t lie, it did happen. “Sebastian it has to stop. All of this. This is wrong. _Really wrong_. It happened once, and it won’t happen ever again.” He’s whispering, just in case. “I was wrong to encourage you yesterday. So please, I am asking you, as your teacher, to stop—”

Sebastian interrupts him. “To stop what? I’m not doing anything,” he says with a huge smile, straightening up while still gripping the edge of Chris’ desk. 

“God, Sebastian, _enough_. You should go now. Don’t you have another class?”

“Do you?” he retorts.

“I don’t.” Chris breathes out, sitting back in his chair. Rubbing a hand over his chin, fingers rasping against his beard he shakes his head. “Go to your next class.”

“My day is over Mr. Evans, I’m going home. And I’m going to take a shower, and I’m going to think of you.” He’s wearing that big, cocky smile again.

“Get out.” Chris tries not to bite his lip, but fails. “Now.”

Sebastian simply raises an eyebrow and leaves. Chris can’t hold back a small smile and a frustrated chuckle when Sebastian closes the door behind him. This kid is _killing_ him.

Of course Sebastian is right— Chris can’t stop thinking about him. But how that kid could be so cocky and so sure of himself just now, even after the way he was in tears the other day, baffles him.

Sebastian's words won't stop haunting him, and when he goes home that night, he can't stop thinking about Sebastian touching himself, touching himself and thinking of Chris. God, it makes him so hard and as he's sitting on the edge of his bed, it's so easy to take his cock out and stroke himself to orgasm remembering the way Sebastian knelt there and sucked him off.

And he thought that might help, might take the edge off, but it only makes it worse. When he sees Sebastian in class the next day, he's up to his usual tricks again.

Chris hands back the papers, the ones he had graded, that had included Sebastian's dirty little note. He erased it of course, but what he couldn't erase was Sebastian's poor score.

This time when class is over, Sebastian actually gets up to leave with the rest of the class. "Wait a moment, Sebastian, would you," he calls from his desk. "We need to discuss your grade."

Sebastian hangs back in the doorway as the rest of the class leaves. He closes the door, smirking and approaches Chris' desk. "You want me to stay this time _Mr. Evans_?" he asks, licking his lips.

But Chris doesn’t want to laugh, not this time. He had to give him D, because he was generous enough not to give him a F (let’s say it’s because of his little notes and the creativity he showed with them.)  
  
“You can’t continue like that. This is a really bad work.”

Sebastian should be vexed but he doesn’t look like he is, he’s not stupid and Chris knows he could have had at least a C if he wanted to, but what would be the point? With a C Chris wouldn’t have held him after class  and Chris can tell that’s a part of Sebastian’s game. Except Chris doesn’t want to play anymore.

He stares at Chris for a moment. “Then maybe you should help me…” 

“That’s what I thought too, and I told you I know a great tutor so I asked him if-“

“No.” Sebastian interrupts him, smirking.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“No” he says again, overconfident.  
  
“Okay, listen,” Chris is exasperated now. “This is not a game Sebastian, it’s your life. He’s really great and he’s ready to help you.”

“The only help I’ll accept is yours,” he teases him, licking his lip with his damn tongue and Chris can’t look away.   
  
“I told you to stop with that.” _Christ,_ the kid really can’t stop himself and be serious.   
  
“Why? You like it, don’t you?” Sebastian grins at him.   
  
Chris wants to bite his lip, he doesn’t want to give Sebastian the satisfaction to, but he can’t help himself, he has to brush the corner of his lower lip with his teeth, praying to be discreet. Yes, _of course_ he likes it. “No,” he answers because that’s the only correct answer here. The only safe answer. 

“You’re lying. I know it. You want me, and I want you.” Sebastian stops and bites his lower lip, teeth sinking into the soft pink flesh obscenely and it’s hard for Chris not to do the same again. “You want to fuck me don’t you? I bet you think about my mouth on you every night—” 

“Okay.” _Oh god_ “You stop right there,” he says raising his hand. _Please, please keep talking._ “That’s enough.” He wants him so bad, how can Sebastian looks so angelic and have such a dirty mouth. “I don’t want to hear one more word” He wants to take him right there, bend him over his desk and hear him moan, _make him moan_. And he wants to screw him so badly. He’s actually so hard that it hurts.   
  
“Or what?” Sebastian asks cockily, raising an eyebrow. 

“Stop talking.” Chris wonders how he’s able to focus and articulate words. He’s not sure he has blood left to make his brain work. Oh but yes, he has blood left to fuel his imagination, because now all he sees is him fucking Sebastian right here, right now.

“Make me.” Sebastian’s smile only grows bigger.

“Sebastian. That’s it. You’re crossing a line. Go!”

And once again Sebastian leaves the classroom, looking all too proud of himself. 

The more Sebastian pushes him, the more he wants to press his lips to his to make him shut the hell up. This boy is just a living tease. 

* * * *

A few days later, Chris is trying to prepare the class for the big test coming up. All of the students are hard at work during every moment of Chris’ class, except for Sebastian who continues to tease him instead of taking notes and working on practice problems. He can’t force Sebastian to pay attention in class, it’s not like he hasn’t tried.

 So he does all he can to put Sebastian and his nearly failing grade out of his mind. Until Friday evening. He’s at home, after school, trying to relax. He has papers to grade but they can wait, all he wants to do is not have to think about work, or Sebastian for one night. He’s sitting on the couch, just trying to clear his mind when he hears someone knocking at his door.

He only opens the door a little and he’s startled to see Sebastian on his doorstep. He’s doubly glad he hasn’t opened the door fully, because he’s not wearing a shirt. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I need help Mr. Evans, for the test. I need to get a good grade, can you please help me?”  
  
“Well it would maybe be easier if you were paying attention to what I’m trying to teach you in class instead of daydreaming”  
  
“Please,” Sebastian tries again.

Chris knows it’s a stupid decision but Sebastian really looks sad and concerned so he lets him in. Chris hides behind the door, so Sebastian can come inside, telling him to wait in the living room while he puts on a shirt. He knows it won't take him long, but he's standing there, shirt in hand when Sebastian comes into the bedroom behind him.

"What are you doing? I asked you to wait out there!"

Sebastian whistles. "Wow, Mr. Evans, I knew you were hot... but I didn't remember you were this hot." He grins that cocky grin before licking his lips and it's a less than subtle reminder that he's seen Chris naked. Right here in this room in fact. “I must have missed your tattoos the last time I was here, but that’s not surprising. I was more focused on other things.” His eyes linger on the tattoo across Chris’ chest, flicking to the others adorning his biceps and side, sinking his teeth into his lower lip.

Chris can feel the blood draining from his face, not just because of Sebastian's words, his expression, but because it's all headed someplace else.

It takes a few minutes of Sebastian just staring at him before he can speak. "Go, go back and wait for me in the other room!" He must have sounded angrier than he expected because Sebastian _actually_ listens to him for once.

Scrubbing a hand across his face before he pulls on his shirt, Chris sighs. If you can die from being sexually frustrated, this kid is going to be the death of him.

He finds Sebastian sitting at the kitchen table, a worried look on his face.

"Listen, kid," he starts, but Sebastian interrupts him.

"Mr. Evans, I'm sorry, I just—" Sebastian stops, draws in an uneven breath.

"You just what? I don't understand what you're playing at, Sebastian. You need help pulling your grade up, then lets study. I don't... the other stuff, it has to stop. It can't keep happening."

"Sure, _fine_ , whatever," Sebastian says, sounding close to tears.

Chris sits down in the chair opposite Sebastian. It's instinct that makes him reach out and place his hands over Sebastian's. "Kid, listen. I shouldn't say this, god knows I don't want to encourage you... but what happened between us, what we did... I know I told you it can't happen again, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, it doesn't mean I don't think about it, about you. I just don't want to lose my job over this. Or ruin your life."

But Sebastian doesn’t smile, which Chris kinda expected since he just told him he did enjoy it, and he does spend time thinking about him. Sebastian just has sad expression on his face, and Chris can tell he’s about to cry. He just doesn’t get how Sebastian can easily go from that arrogant cocky little asshole to this smart, scared and sweet, lovely kid. “I’m sorry I yelled, I didn’t mean to,” Chris adds.  
  
Sebastian doesn’t look at him, swallows, take his hands out of Chris’ and opens his book. “Let’s study,” he says before clearing his throat, passing his hand over his face, wiping away a stray tear.

Chris wants to hug him but he doesn’t. He tells Sebastian to go page one-eighty-nine because it’s the same kind of work he’ll have to do during the test. He tries to teach him, to help him, he can tell Sebastian is really trying to stay focused, but he can also see that his eyes are still red and wet, and his voice cracks every few words. It’s killing Chris to see him sitting there, struggling not to cry.

They attempt to get through a few more problems. Chris isn't sure if Sebastian really _doesn't_ understand the material or if he's just too upset to concentrate.

It's making _him_ upset, he hates seeing anyone else cry. And it’s at least partly his fault that this kid is sitting here awkwardly, quietly sniffling over math work.

After twenty minutes spent going over the same equation and Sebastian just not getting it, Chris is at his wits end. He sighs heavily and rubs his hands across his face.

Of course Sebastian notices. He sort of freezes as Chris sighs, watching him with those teary, blue eyes.

"I'm sorry Mr. Evans, don't be mad at me," he says, his voice wavering again. "I'm trying," he adds.

Chris looks at him, really looks at him. They're both trying, Chris loves teaching, he really does, and he doesn't want to see this kid fail. But it doesn't help matters that even though he's almost in tears and it makes him look so vulnerable, Chris still wants to kiss him.

But he doesn't, he can't go down that road again. So he places his hand on Sebastian's again. "Sebastian, I can see you're struggling. I know you're a smart kid. Talk to me, tell me how I can make this easier," he says softly.

“I don’t know,” he says, shaking his head. “It just doesn’t make any sense! I understand what I have to do I just can’t get it done correctly. I feel like a failure!” Shoving the book away, he sits back in his chair.  
  
“Why don’t we take a little break? Let’s go outside for a minute, so you can get some fresh air. It helps me when I get upset or when I can’t concentrate.” Chris gets up but Sebastian doesn’t look at him. Chris is sure he’s embarrassed, crying in front of a teacher isn’t something any kid ever wants to do and he gets the impression that Sebastian doesn’t usually let his guard down like this.   
  
“Do you want something to drink? To eat?” Chris asks. He has no idea what he’s supposed to do right now, because all he wants is to kiss Sebastian, hug him, comfort him, but he knows that’s inappropriate.

Sebastian shakes his head, saying no.

Stepping outside, into the tiny back yard, Chris waves a hand, showing Sebastian that there's really nothing there, just a small patch of grass. Chris sits down on the back step, and pats the space next to him. "Have a seat, kid."

Sebastian looks at him, but doesn't protest. He sits down next to Chris, slouching over, hugging his knees with one arm. Putting his other hand to his mouth he chews at his nails nervously.

This has turned into a fucking disaster and Chris isn't sure what he's supposed to do now. Even if he hadn't done inappropriate things with a student, he'd still be at a loss on how to handle the way Sebastian is acting right now.

Without thinking, he places the flat of his palm against Sebastian's back, rubbing his hand over the curve of his spine. It's meant to be a comforting motion, to tell him that things are okay, because Chris doesn't know if words will help. He wants to stroke Sebastian’s hair with his other hand, but he stops himself, doesn’t want it to be too much, rubbing his back feels already enough to calm Sebastian.

They sit that way, in silence for awhile, Sebastian just letting Chris rub his back. It's quiet, that's the one nice thing Chris can say for his neighborhood. And there's something strangely peaceful about sitting out here, in his crappy little yard, with Sebastian. They're sharing a moment here, and despite everything that's happened before, it's nice, it feels right.

“Can I be honest?” Sebastian finally whispers very quietly after a moment, hiding his face in his lap.   
  
“Of course you can,” Chris’ tone is as gentle as possible, his hand still rubbing Sebastian’s back.  
  
“I really like you Mr. Evans.” Chris wants to protest and interrupt him to tell him once again that’s it not a thing to say, but he doesn’t. He keeps listening, patting Sebastian’s back.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it. I really like you and I don’t understand why you keep helping me,” Sebastian finishes.  
  
“Because I feel like I’m the only one who knows you’re good at pretending everything is okay, when it’s not.” He doesn’t think before he speaks, words just comes out like that, without filter. “I really like you too, Sebastian. I help you because I want to.”

Chris takes a moment, letting what he said sink in, letting the words Sebastian said sink in. It’s fucked up and he’s conflicted. If he’d met Sebastian in a club somewhere, and they’d connected like this… he wouldn’t think twice about kissing him again, taking him into his bed.

But it’s bad news for both of them because Sebastian is his student.

It’s silent and quiet again, Sebastian hasn’t answered  him, he just look like he’s about to cry again. It’s breaking Chris’ heart to see him that way, he wishes he could figure out what’s going on in Sebastian’s brain to make him react like this.

He sees Sebastian slowly leaning into his lap, feels him, but he’s only a spectator, unable to move. Sebastian curls up on his thighs, resting his head there, nuzzling his face in Chris’ lap.

Surprise is slowly washed away by compassion. Looking at Sebastian from above, he can barely see his face, only see a glimpse of the corner of his mouth and his eyes staring out into the yard. He keeps stroking Sebastian’s back, and he does what he stopped himself from doing earlier, his other hand reaching for Sebastian’s hair to caress it.

“You know,” Chris starts out. His mouth is dry and he has to swallow before he can continue. “You know, I’m really not that much older than you. This is all still new for me, the teaching stuff. And this, you and me… totally not something I’ve ever done before.” He shares this with Sebastian because it doesn’t feel so out of context, he feels comfortable enough to have a conversation with him, and for once Sebastian isn’t responding to it with a smart-ass attitude.

Sebastian gives a small sort of laugh. "You've never been with a guy before?" he says in disbelief.

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Chris says. "I meant, the whole 'you're my student and I'm supposed to be the responsible adult', you know teach you and not constantly think about kissing you."

Sebastian nods and Chris can see a little bit of his cocky attitude creeping back in. "So, if you weren't my teacher, you'd kiss me right now?"

Chris makes a strangled sound; there the kid goes, twisting his words again. Of course it's the truth, so it's not that much of a twist. "I..." he trails off, seeing Sebastian's tongue sweep across his bottom lip. “I would,” he admits. “But I’m your teacher so that’s _not_ gonna happen.” He can see Sebastian smiling and he hopes he didn’t just encourage him again.  He coughs and take his hand off Sebastian’s back, glancing at his watch. It’s later than he realized, they’ve been outside for awhile. “That was a long break, it’s getting late. You should probably go home, Sebastian.”  
  
Sebastian straightens himself up, looking at Chris with bright eyes. “Will you still help me to study for the test?”  
  
“Well if you need my help, I’ll be happy to help you.” Sebastian grins, clearly thinking about the idea of spending more time together, so Chris adds,  articulating every word, “As a teacher.”

* * * *

Despite what they discussed, or maybe because of it, the next day in school, Sebastian seems to be back to his cocky self. He at least _pretends_ to be attempting to understand Chris' lesson, it looks like he's taking notes, which is good.

Except every time Chris catches his eye, Sebastian is back to giving him those same grins and knowing looks. It's like no matter what he says, he can't get through to Sebastian that they can't be anything more than student and teacher.

When class ends, he asks Sebastian to stay for a moment, intending to offer his help again. After the last failed tutoring session, it's clear that he really does need help with the material.

They're alone in the room again, probably a bad idea, Chris knows. He figures if he stays sitting at his desk he won't be tempted to do anything inappropriate. Hopefully neither will Sebastian.

"So, do you still want my help? As a tutor, as your teacher." he clarifies, not giving Sebastian the chance to twist his words again."I know you seemed to be struggling, and I don't want to see you fail, but I can't tell anymore if I'm doing more harm than good, trying to help you."

Sebastian loses that cocky smile and looks at the floor, looks everywhere _but_ Chris.   
  
“I still want your help.”

What game is he playing? Chris doesn’t understand what’s going on with Sebastian, why does he suddenly look so sad?  “Alright” Chris says. The test is next week, there’s only few days left to help Sebastian. It’s going to be only one maybe two tutoring sessions at most. “I can’t tonight,” he says, knowing he has a lot of work to grades and as much as he wants to help Sebastian, it’s probably not a good idea to see him two nights in a row. He’s not sure he can handle it without throwing him in his bed. “But you can meet me tomorrow afternoon.”

* * * *

Chris is grateful for all the work he takes home that night, it's something to keep his mind off Sebastian.

The next day during class, Sebastian seems more subdued, and Chris is once again confused. Confused by the way Sebastian's moods seem to swing but also conflicted by his own feelings. How can he want to take this kid and help him and cheer him up while at the same time wanting to kiss him and have him stripped naked on his bed?

After class he stops Sebastian again, it's becoming a habit and he hopes no one notices. "Tutoring, tonight?" He didn't mean it to be a question, but it sounds that way as it leaves his mouth anyway.

Sebastian nods, still unusually quiet.

"Six o'clock," Chris tells him. And then watches as Sebastian leaves without saying anything, unable to help feeling nervous for later.

Chris is conflicted, torn between wondering if Sebastian is planning something bad for him again, or if he’s just really quiet and depressed today. He’s almost afraid to find out, although admittedly he likes the first option better.  
  
Even if Sebastian teasing him is horrible and awful and it takes all his willpower not take him into his bed, he likes it. He shouldn’t, but he does. He’s afraid he won’t be able to stop himself one day though. Just the idea of kissing Sebastian, touching him, feeling him, gives him chills all over his body. He doesn’t need those kind of ideas, not when he’s going to spend hours alone with this kid soon.  



	4. Does That Sound Motivational?

Sebastian is right on time, and Chris opens the door to see him with that little cocky grin. He can already tell the tutoring won’t be as easy as a part of him wishes it would be. The other part of him is absolutely overjoyed at the thought.

"Alright," he says, letting Sebastian into the kitchen. "Let's cover this material, I don't want to waste another night and risk you failing." He's trying to stay firm, even though Sebastian's cocky grins are planting all sorts of wrong ideas in his head.

"Sure thing, _Mr. Evans_ ," Sebastian says, but he sits at the table anyway and they spread out his book and notebook and start going over the practice work.

It's slow going again, and he _still_ can't tell if Sebastian is doing it on purpose or not. He's working slowly, and it's driving Chris crazy. He's trying to be patient, he really is, but being in the same room, just Sebastian and him, being so close... it's distracting to say the least.

"Mr. Evans," Sebastian says, almost whining as he sits back in his chair. "I'm just not feeling motivated enough to get this work done."

Without thinking, glancing at him, Chris asks, "What can I do to motivate you then?"

“Kiss me” Sebastian answers, keeping his mouth open, lips curved into a little teasing smile.  
  
Chris wants to do it, oh he does, but he can’t. “Stay focused,” he orders. His voice is firm and his eyes quickly leave Sebastian’s to concentrate on his text book. Avoiding eye contact at all cost, avoiding the temptation.

Sebastian looks back at his notebook. “You’re not any fun,” he mutters under his breath.  
  
Chris knew he should have sat in front of Sebastian and not next to him because after that, it’s hard to keep his hands to himself. He’s leaning on the table and trying his best to not look at Sebastian, while he tries to help him with that damn equation they’ve spend the last fifteen minutes on.  
  
“There’s something else that could motivate me actually.” Sebastian doesn’t even wait for Chris to ask what it is. “Do you have apples?”

He’s playing a dangerous game there and Chris bites his tongue at the memory of that first night, staring at him. “I’m afraid I don’t.” He didn’t have time to do any grocery shopping lately and his fridge is pretty empty. He’s somehow glad for it, he’s sure if Sebastian was eating an apple right now, the way Chris ate his own days ago, teasingly, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from tasting the apple on his mouth.  
  
“Then maybe we can go back to the first…” he’s wearing that smile again. Oh god that fucking smile is going to kill him. “Thing,” Sebastian says, allowing his tongue to poke out of his mouth, licking his lip.

Chris is half hard. There’s no trying to hide it and like a reflex, he grabs Sebastian’s knee. Moving closer to him, unable to stop himself from asking, “Would that help you?” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows he’s screwed. He’s joined Sebastian’s dangerous game and he isn’t sure he can go back now. He doesn’t really want to anyway.

Chris can hear the way Sebastian's breathing speeds up. "Yeah," he says, licking his lips. "It would help, Mr. Evans."

Chris bites his own lip now. It's so tempting to sweep the math work off the table and pull Sebastian towards him. He needs to study though, this is just another motivational technique, he reminds himself. An unusual one sure, but that's all it is, _right_?

He doesn't mean to squeeze Sebastian's knee when he talks, he shouldn't even have his hand there in the first place... but he does squeeze it and the little groan Sebastian makes coils a spike of heat in Chris' belly.

"For every answer you get right, you get a kiss," he says. "Does that sound motivational?" He should regret asking this, but honestly he isn’t all that sorry. He’s getting off track, it’s risky, but he isn’t thinking clearly, completely captivated by Sebastian’s open lips.

"Only kisses?" Sebastian asks with an adorable pout.

“Kisses first,” he answers, that’s not what he meant, or maybe it is. He doesn’t know anymore, Sebastian has his thoughts turned upside down and he doesn’t want him to think it can be more than kisses, but it’s too late.  
  
“First,” Sebastian insists, focusing on Chris’ misspoken word.

Chris wonders if it’s getting as hard for Sebastian to breathe as it is for him when suddenly Sebastian has the correct answer to the equation they’ve spent the last twenty minutes on.

“So, that gives me the right to a kiss, right ?” he teases him.  
  
“Right,” repeats Chris. He stares at Sebastian and cups his hand around Sebastian’s neck to bring him closer and press their lips together.

He only means to make it a quick kiss, just enough to get Sebastian interested in working on the next problem. The difficulty with that is that once their lips are touching, Chris loses track of time, loses track of everything. The lips he's been fantasizing about, dreaming about are even better than he remembered. It isn't long before he's hard again, not just half-hard but fully, painfully erect and his hand is still on Sebastian's knee.

He can't tell if it's intentional or not, knowing Sebastian, it probably is, but the kid shifts in his seat and suddenly that hand Chris had on Sebastian's knee is farther up his leg. Chris dimly realizes that he's not the only one who's hard.

He gasps sharply as Sebastian's tongue licks into his mouth and it takes every ounce of willpower he has to pull back. He moves just enough to break the kiss, their faces are still inches apart and his heart is hammering in his chest as Sebastian whines at the loss of his mouth, trying to press their lips together again.

“Next question” he whispers, it takes him every bit of self-control possible to say that, and to sit back in his chair. He’s staring intently at Sebastian, so turned on he’s a second away from ripping his clothes off.

Sebastian is doing something with his mouth, holy hell it’s just insane how eager it makes him, seeing Sebastian’s tongue moving like that, licking his lips. The same tongue he was tasting seconds ago. “I’m waiting” he adds seeing that Sebastian isn’t paying attention to his book.  
  
Sebastian whines again but looks at his work, he stares at it for a few seconds before looking back at Chris “I could use a hand for this one”. 

He’s doing it on purpose, he chose those words carefully. So carefully it doesn’t fail to send a shiver up Chris’ spine.

Chris leans on him to glance at the equation, his face above Sebastian’s shoulder, they’re dangerously close, and the kid is staring at him. Chris looks up to him, his mouth half open, just waiting for Chris to sneak his tongue inside again. His eyes travel between Sebastian’s eyes and lips. “C’mon, it’s easy, you know the answer.” His voice is quiet, rough. “If you want your kiss you’ll have to think a little and earn it.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, still smirking. "What else can I _earn_ Mr. Evans?" he asks before he's licking his lips again.

One again, the words are out of Chris' mouth before he realizes what he's said. "You could earn a lot more if you stop screwing around and get these math problems done." Shit, why did he say that? Blame it on the fact that the blood had all left his brain and gone somewhere else.

Sebastian squirms in his seat, a sharp exhale coming from him as he bites his lip.

"Like maybe that hand?" he asks, pushing his luck.

Chris groans, he's encouraging this and he knows he shouldn't, but he can't even say he's sorry. He isn’t, he’s returning each of Sebastian’s teases straight back at him, and he’s loving every second of it.

“Like a hand,” he breathes next to Sebastian’s mouth. “Like my mouth.” He knows he should stop talking but he can’t. “Like me.” He keeps moving closer and closer and he’s only a few millimeters away from Sebastian’s lip.Now he’s the one playing a dangerous game. 

He still isn’t thinking, he can’t concentrate anyway his face is too close to Sebastian’s. And Sebastian’s making those noises again, he’s surely not helping. “Just give me the answer,” he whispers. He doesn’t care about the answer, he’s even forgetting about the damn equation he looked at seconds ago, all he wants is to keep playing, keep playing until he’s too frustrated to keep his lips away from Sebastian’s one more second.

But Sebastian doesn’t give him the answer, and he rushes his lips against Chris’ instead, forces his way in his mouth. Chris grabs his neck and pulls him even closer. The kiss is desperate and rough. Chris tries to break it, he really tries but every time he does, he comes back to Sebastian’s mouth almost immediately. It’s magnetic, he feels the loss of Sebastian’s lips almost instantly, it just feels so wrong to pull his lips away from Sebastian’s when it should be the opposite.

They're already close, their chairs next to each other, but before Chris can stop him, Sebastian climbs into this lap. Not that he wants to stop him. The part of his brain that should be saying no, should be pushing Sebastian away is otherwise occupied.

Sebastian's hands are all over him, touching, exploring, anywhere he can reach. Again, Chris can't seem to stop, can't seem to make Sebastian stop. He doesn’t want him to stop.

He cards his fingers through Sebastian’s hair and Sebastian moans into his mouth, eager and needy. The sound goes right through Chris, straight to his cock. And if he thought he was painfully hard before, he was wrong, because now Sebastian is right there, in his lap, with busy hands.

Chris completely forgets they were trying to work, he forgets where they are for a moment too. Forget it’s real life and not a fantasy, forget he’s kissing his student. He couldn’t care less right now. His brain doesn’t work except for ordering his tongue to move and his arms to grab Sebastian’s thighs, encouraging him to hold onto his neck as he lifts him, getting up on his feet.   
  
At first he thought he would be able to carry him to his bedroom but he can’t focus enough for that, so he sits him on the table, on the books they were supposed to be using to study.  
  
They’re both so needy, excited and impatient. They shed their t-shirts, sending them flying across the room as their bodies surge and swell, following each other’s rhythm. Sebastian has his legs wrapped around Chris’ hips while Chris nips at Sebastian’s neck, his shoulder, his collarbone. His lips move up to Sebastian’s ear and then back to his mouth.

Their lips are slotted together but Sebastian still finds a way to speak. " _Mr. Evans_." It's more of a moan than anything and it makes a tight heat coil in Chris' belly.

"Sebastian," the name comes out broken, Chris can barely think straight because he's kissing this beautiful dark haired boy and god, he's not a boy, he's his student a distant part of his brain says, but he's not just a random boy.

"Please, Mr. Evans," Sebastian says again, breaking through Chris' haze as he leans back against the table.

"Please what?" Chris asks, his hands caressing Sebastian's bare torso. "Please what?" he repeats hurriedly.

Sebastian grabs his wrists and pulls Chris against him to kiss him again. He’s witnessing how needy for his touch the kid is, how he’s making Sebastian behave, asking for attention, for him, and god it’s beautiful. The feeling of power he has over him is priceless, but he’s well aware he’s as needy as Sebastian is. Right at this moment, he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.  
  
“I want you,” Sebastian’s moaning in his mouth, trying to speak between kisses. “ _Oh please_ , I want you, _please_.” He sounds so desperate, and his hands are on Chris’ neck, his thumbs pressing against his jaw line. Chris’ hands are on his hips, he moves them to Sebastian’s thighs, making Sebastian wrap his legs around him tightly. 

“Yeah? You want me? That’s what you want?”

Sebastian moans a soft, ragged, “Yes.”

Chris moves from Sebastian’s lips to kiss his cheek, his neck, his chest, find his way to a nipple. He starts licking, sucking, nibbling and he can hear Sebastian’s breathing getting faster, can feel his erection against his stomach.

His mouth moves across Sebastian's chest, switching to the other nipple. He's loving the way Sebastian's body is so receptive. He wants to kiss every last bit of his skin. So he does, moving his lips down his chest, trailing lips and teeth over sensitive skin, Licking down his abdomen, over the bones protruding at his hips.

He pauses, his mouth on Sebastian's stomach, pressing open-mouthed kisses right above his waistband. He moves his hand across Sebastian's zipper, palming his erection through the denim.

"You want this, yeah?" he asks breathily.

"Please, _Mr. Evans_ ," Sebastian moans. It's like his brain can't form any other words.

Chris opens the button on Sebastian's jeans then slowly pulls down the zipper. He doesn't have to ask, Sebastian just lifts his hips, allowing Chris to pull the jeans from his hips.

Chris' breath catches in his throat, Sebastian really is beautiful. He hasn't even seen him naked, hasn't seen him like this before. But god... It’s difficult to look away with Sebastian’s body exposed like this, in this position, under him.

Sebastian squirms on the table, rustling the papers there. He's biting his lip again and looking up at Chris though those dark eyelashes.

Keeping his eyes fixed on Sebastian's Chris reaches for the waist of his boxers. Sebastian gives a tiny nod and Chris pulls them down too. Now he's got Sebastian naked,  and _fuck_ , he really wants to use his mouth, his tongue on every last inch of him.

Sebastian is squirming even more now that he can feel Chris’ breath above his cock. He lets a plaintive moan escapes his mouth and Chris’ looks right back at him, worried. Sebastian just puts a hand under his back and throws the pen he just pulled out from under his back across the room, making Chris laughs. “Yeah, you should make yourself comfortable,” he says, because he has every intention to take him on this table.  
  
But first, he has other ideas in his head and tasting Sebastian is on top of that list right now. He delicately puts his lips on Sebastian’s cock, kissing him gently, kissing every bit of flesh he can reach from the tip to the base. Then he traces the same path but in reverse with his tongue, from the base to the tip. Lingers on it. Insistent. He loves every sounds Sebastian makes.

He wraps his lips around the head of Sebastian's cock, sucking gently. Only for a second, then he releases him with a wet pop, teasing the slit with the tip of his tongue.

"Is this what you want? You want my mouth on you?" he asks. "Because that's what I want, I want your beautiful cock in my mouth."

" _Fuck_ ," Sebastian stutters and Chris takes that as a yes.

He leans down then, running his tongue all over the hard shaft, licking flat stripes from base to tip.

Sebastian is moaning and writhing on the table, more than before and Chris absolutely loves it. He can't get enough of the noises he's getting in response. Those hot little sounds, full of pleasure, half low, quiet, almost inaudible and seconds later so loud and excited. And the fact it should be forbidden for Chris to make Sebastian breathe this way, it’s making everything even more alluring.

With a moan of his own, he takes Sebastian into his mouth, feeling the weight of his cock on his tongue, sucking and bobbing his head up and down.

He has one hand wandering over Sebastian’s chest, trying to reach a nipple to tease him more, and the other one wrapping around Sebastian’s cock. Sebastian’s hands have turned into fists and he’s arching his back. Chris doesn’t know what experience Sebastian has to compare this to, but he knows he’s good at what he’s doing.  
  
Sebastian releases the pressure of one of his fist and instinctively reaches for Chris’ forearm, seizing it.   
  
Chris keeps moving on Sebastian’s cock, joining Sebastian’s discreet moans with the loud sound of his suction, watching Sebastian biting his lip.

Sebastian seems to find his voice  but it's hard to find the words. "Mr. Evans," he gasps. It's too quiet and Chris is too intent on what he's doing, he almost doesn’t hear him. He’s too busy enjoying the taste of Sebastian’s pre-come in his mouth.

Sebastian moves his hand from Chris' arm and grasps his hair, tugging gently. "Mr. Evans," he says again, louder this time.

Chris looks up, his mouth still on Sebastian's cock. Sebastian is looking at him, talking to him, but he can only stare at his bite swollen lips.

He releases Sebastian's cock with an obscene pop, kissing the tip. "What is it, tell me what you want," he gasps, his breath hot along Sebastian's sensitive skin. He didn't want to stop, but god, he hopes Sebastian isn't having second thoughts.

"I want you, Mr. Evans," Sebastian whispers.

Jesus, he's got to tell him to call him Chris, if they're going to be doing things like this, but he loves the way Sebastian says 'Mr. Evans', innocently but somehow full of lust.

"You've got me, Sebastian," he says, and it's true. He would do anything for him, especially right now.

"I want you to fuck me," Sebastian breaths, blushing, which is somehow oddly endearing and yet such a turn on at the same time.

His words give Chris chills all over his body, the way he said it, it’s the hottest thing he has ever heard. He can’t help himself he needs to hear it again. “You want me to what, baby?” the nickname came out of nowhere, he didn’t think of it, it just slid into his question.

Sebastian doesn’t answer at first, so Chris starts sucking his cock a little, just passing his lips over the tip and then asks again “You want me to what?” He _needs_ to hear him say it again, he has to, it’s a necessity at this moment, feeling the blood pulsating in his veins, his cock is craving it.  
  
Sebastian doesn’t stop moaning, he’s a loud person apparently. Chris doesn’t complain about it, he likes to hear how much he pleases someone. “I-I want you to fuck me, _oh god_ please Mr. Evans, _please_.”He’s gasping for air, each word is a struggle.   
  
He doesn’t need to consider his request, he already decided he was going to satisfy it the first time he heard Sebastian say it. Chris doesn’t want to leave him, but he doesn’t want to hurt him either, he _has_ to leave him to get the bottle of lube he keep in his bedroom. But he knows Sebastian might freak out, might change his mind, feel abandoned or something if he just leaves him like that, in his extreme state of excitement, even for a second.  
  
He moves back to Sebastian’s face, kisses his neck, then his cheek, and he whispers very tenderly, “I’m coming back.” Sebastian opens his eyes as if he doesn’t quite understand why Chris is saying that. “Don’t move baby, I’ll be right back, I’m not leaving you.” Chris wants to move away but when he meets Sebastian’s gaze he can see that he looks scared. Maybe he wasn’t reassuring enough, he presses his lips against Sebastian’s, grabbing his face in his hand. “Just one second.”

Chris' hand lingers on Sebastian's face, and even though he's told him twice he'll be right back, there's a look on Sebastian's face that makes him hesitate. He looks worried and anxious, and suddenly it hits Chris, he’s just a teenager.

God, what was he thinking. He's being an idiot and thinking with his cock, not his brain, that's what. He's forgotten that as cocky and sexy as Sebastian is, he's probably very inexperienced. And as hot as it was to get him naked on the kitchen table, well it's probably not the best place to have their first time together.

He steps back, taking Sebastian's hand in his. "Come with me, I won't leave you here."

Sebastian swallows, sitting up. "Where are we going?"

“I'm going to take you into the bedroom, and we're going to do this right," Chris tells him. He doesn’t want Sebastian to feel nervous about it, even less to be scared. He wants him to enjoy it, he’s going to make sure he does.

A grateful smile crosses Sebastian's face and Chris knows he made the right decision.

He leads Sebastian to the bed and without him asking, Sebastian climbs onto the middle of the bed. Chris didn't think it was possible, but he looks even hotter there than on the table.

He stands at the end of the bed, watching Sebastian's chest heaving. "I'm going to get undressed now, too, alright?" he tells him, slowly undoing the fly of his jeans.

Sebastian just nods, biting his lip. Once Chris is undressed, he joins Sebastian on the bed, but not before he grabs the bottle of lube from the night stand.

He eases his body close to Sebastian, letting him get used to the feeling of their skin pressing together. "I'm going to kiss you now," he tells him.

Sebastian grasps Chris' neck and pulls him in, and kisses Chris fiercely.

Chris wonders if it’s Sebastian first time ever, he can’t seem to guess, if it’s not the first, it’s probably not a high number either. And it’s not just another random night for Chris like he’s had before. As much as he likes to be gentle and loving like he is right now with Sebastian, he also likes to be  rough sometimes, but for that he needs to have no connection to the person he’s fucking. It explains his many one night stands, besides the fact that with his years of studying he hasn’t had much time left to have a boyfriend.   
  
He doesn’t want to ask Sebastian, at least not yet, he’s starting to figure Sebastian out and he knows it will probably upset him somehow. So he just shows him a lot of affection instead, he’s a mad at himself for forgetting that Sebastian is so young. He has to take really good care of him, he’s not going to fuck him like Sebastian asked, he’s going to make love to him. He’s going to make him feel like he’s the most precious person in the world for him.   
  
He breaks the kiss, and slips his nose against Sebastian’s before kissing it. Sebastian gives him a shy smile in return. There he is, the real Sebastian, not the arrogant cocky one who likes to tease him in class, no, the real one he saw few times having difficulty holding back his emotions. The Sebastian he feels privileged to hold in his arms, because it feels like he’s trying hard to bury this side of him deep down.

He cuddles him for a moment, they’re kissing and his hands are running across Sebastian’s belly. Sebastian’s hand push his a little lower, like he wants Chris to take care of his erection again. As if he needs his touch, needs his fingers stroking his aching cock.

Chris lets Sebastian set the pace, because as exciting as that cocky, smart-mouthed from class can be, there is something so beautiful about this sweet, shy kid who is still so desperate to have Chris touch him. It would even be adorable if Chris wasn’t so turned on right now.

He moves his hand lower, slowly stroking Sebastian's cock. Just gentle movements, nothing fast or rough. He knows they're both already extremely turned on, after the way he was  sucking Sebastian's cock in the kitchen.

Chris groans, kissing Sebastian again, and then he feels Sebastian's hands on _his_ cock. Sebastian's fingers are long and thin, almost delicate and their tentative touches are enough to drive Chris crazy all over again.

"God, baby," he says, using that pet name again, it just feels so natural.

Sebastian whimpers into the kiss, pressing his mouth harder against Chris'.

"I want to be gentle with you," he says, against Sebastian's lips. "We're going to do this slowly, because I don't want to hurt you, understand?"

Sebastian nods, for some reason he trusts Chris completely,

Chris reaches for the bottle of lube and pours a generous amount onto his hand. He starts by taking his slick hand and using it to stroke Sebastian's twitching cock. Then he glides his hand down, lower, slipping between the soft cheeks of Sebastian's ass.

Sebastian inhales sharply and stiffens a bit when Chris' fingers brush against his sensitive hole.

"Shh, it's OK," Chris says reassuringly. "We don't have to do this, if you don't want to." He pauses, slick fingers just lightly touching, waiting. The first touch was almost nothing but it probably took Sebastian by surprise.

“No! I want to!” he almost cries. It’s clear he  doesn’t want Chris to stop, he’s so needy, demanding and eager. So impatient. “Please, just please _Mr. Evans_.”  
  
It’s wrong that Chris is so turned on by this vision of Sebastian, it’s so wrong, he knows it but, damn. He wants to make him feel so good, he wants to reassure him, tells him how beautiful he is, and that he’ll make him feel great. He looks so tiny in his arms. He looks so young, and so scared but at the same time he looks so excited and enthusiastic. This is just so hot, Chris is struggling so hard to be slow and not rush things. He’s almost ashamed to admit with someone else, he isn’t sure he would care that much, in fact he’s sure he wouldn’t have left the kitchen table, but Sebastian makes him want to take his time.  
  
“Shhh” he whispers, kissing his neck gently “It’s okay baby, I got you.” He starts drawing circles around Sebastian’s hole. Continuing to feather kisses on his neck; so light that sometimes his lips are barely touching his skin. “Talk to me baby, I want to know you’re okay with everything I do,” he says. “We’ll do it your way, you decide what we do, when we do it.”  
  
Sebastian can’t talk so he shows. He shows what he wants with his body, starts moving his hips, asking for Chris to try again to slide a finger in him. Which he does, a lot more slowly than the first time. He waits for the second signal from Sebastian before doing anything else.

He takes it slow, barely moving that one finger, pushing it in and out in tiny increments. Chris gets his sign from Sebastian when his hips start to move, slowly, but steadily. Chris slides the first finger out, loving the sight of Sebastian's puckered hole waiting for his touch.

Sebastian whines at the loss, but Chris shushes him, stroking his stomach with his other hand. "Don't worry, I'm not done yet," he says. Grabbing the lube again he adds more to his fingers, then slowly introduces that first finger again. As he slides it into Sebastian, he's rewarded with a soft moan.

Chris pulls the first finger back and then carefully adds a second finger, slowly pressing them into Sebastian. It's agonizing taking things so slowly, but he knows it's worth it. He wants to make this good for Sebastian, wants to make it memorable.

“You okay baby?” he asks. He’s starting to love that nickname. It fits him so well and it helps to forget that it’s his student in his bed right now, helps to make things more intimate.

Sebastian answers with a soft nod, his eyes are closed and he licks his lower lip. But it’s sweet, he barely lets his tongue out, he’s not trying to tease Chris, he’s just really enjoying what’s happening.  
  
Chris keeps moving his fingers in and out, waiting for another signal. He gets it when Sebastian moan impatiently, lifting his body a little, that makes Chris grin. He’s not sure Sebastian can take a third finger yet but he gave him a signal so he let that third finger slide inside really slowly. He’s actually surprise how fast Sebastian is adjusting to the situation.   
  
“You’re doing really great,” he says, and rewards him by giving him a long kiss.

Sebastian seems to like that, the deep kiss while Chris' fingers are inside of him. Chris is all too glad to keep kissing him like that, his tongue sliding inside Sebastian's mouth the way his fingers are sliding into him at the same time.

They stay like that, Chris moving and curling his fingers, slowly opening Sebastian while they kiss. He can tell Sebastian is starting to really enjoy this, god knows he is.

Sebastian's hand trails down Chris' arm, tugging his hand insistently. Chris lets Sebastian move his hand, lets him guide it until Chris' hand is wrapped around Sebastian's cock. It's hard and leaking, and he uses his thumb to collect the pre-come from the tip, sliding it down Sebastian's already slippery cock.

That seems to almost be too much for Sebastian, or maybe it's not enough. He moans against Chris' mouth, those familiar words. "Please, Mr. Evans."

Chris knows what he's asking this time.

He doesn’t want to rush things though, even if Sebastian wants it, he’d rather spend too much time preparing him than not enough. “Just a little more,” he whispers against Sebastian’s ear. All he hears in return is a really plaintive noise, a really cute one. “I know baby, I know. It’s coming don’t worry.” He presses his lips against Sebastian’s.  
  
Not that he’s bragging or anything but Chris isn’t exactly a small size, and he’s more comfortable with Sebastian being completely ready than barely ready to take him. He tries to add a fourth finger and when he sees Sebastian can take it, _is taking it_ , without complaining, it’s time for him to remove his fingers. He keeps kissing Sebastian reassuring him. It’s almost an habit now, but not a boring one, he’s getting so familiar with Sebastian’s mouth, his lips, his tongue, it feels just right.  
  
He rolls onto his back and reaches for a box of condoms in his nightstand. He can see Sebastian stiffen at this exact moment, probably a little anxious about what’s going to happen. Chris takes one of them and put the box away, comes back next to Sebastian quickly. “Still want to do it?” he asks.

Sebastian nods.

“I won’t be mad if you say you want to stop, you know that, right ?”   
  
“I know” he murmurs “I want you.”

He can’t lie, Sebastian’s answer relieves him, because otherwise it would have been the biggest frustration of his life. He returns a weak smile, besides all the excitement, Sebastian is really being adorable. The way he murmurs and asks, waits for Chris to pay attention to him is charming.

“Please,” Sebastian adds again,  because clearly Chris is not going as fast as he wants.

Chris reaches for the lube one last time, generously slicking himself up. Sebastian's eyes are following his every movement and Chris grins at him. He kneels between Sebastian's legs, positioning himself, lining up his cock.

He goes slow, not trying to tease, just trying to ease Sebastian into this. He nudges his cock against Sebastian's entrance and Sebastian gasps.

"Still okay?" he asks gently. He will stop if Sebastian tells him to. It would he hard and frustrating but he wouldn’t hesitate.

Sebastian nods, biting his lip again.

Chris proceeds, moving slowly, pushing into Sebastian. God, he's so hot and so tight, Chris can't help but gasp.

He checks with Sebastian constantly, making sure he's comfortable. "Relax, baby," he tells him, stroking Sebastian's skin.

Sebastian huffs. "I'm trying," he tells Chris.

And Chris can see that he is, so he pauses, keeps stroking Sebastian's arm, his chest. His fingers move down, softly caressing Sebastian's cock, watching him close his eyes.

“You tell me when you’re comfortable enough to let me move okay baby?” He kisses Sebastian’s chest, still caressing his cock. He’s not sure if it’s because Sebastian is enjoying Chris’ hand on his cock too much or if it’s because he’s still not comfortable but after a moment of no reaction coming from him, he needs to ask again. “Okay, baby?”  
  
Sebastian nods, licks his lower lip and starts moving his hips under Chris. The first option was the correct one, he was just lost in Chris’ touch.  Chris goes a little deeper, more careful than he ever was with anyone else. It’s really slow and it’s nearly killing him, but he finally manage to be completely inside of Sebastian and it feels like heaven. It’s so good, he’s so tight and hot, and the vision he has, his whole body exposed to him, and knowing Sebastian is trusting him entirely, he has no words. He might not look like it, but deep down he’s very romantic.

He really can't find his words, all Chris can manage is a small moan. Surprisingly it's Sebastian that finds his voice now.

"M-Mr. Evans," he stutters. "You feel so good inside of me," and then Sebastian breaks off into a moan of his own, slowly opening his eyes again, trying to catch Chris’.

Chris doesn't think he'll last long, Sebastian feels too good, they spent so long on prepping him, on foreplay. Not to mention the constant erection he's been walking around with since he first got involved with Sebastian.

So he concentrates on stroking Sebastian, his hand stroking him while he moves his hips in small, lazy circles. He wants to wait for Sebastian, wants to make sure he _really_ enjoys this.

Sebastian seems so innocent and inexperienced, his eyes staring deep in Chris’, he doesn’t seem so confident right now but he doesn’t look uncomfortable either, his lips parting and closing again and again, it has to be a lot for him, what’s happening right now. But Chris is trying to take good care of him, so that he doesn’t have to think about anything, doesn’t have to focus.   
  
Sebastian starts to babble, a string of words falling from his lips and Chris can tell from how he’s acting that Sebastian is about to come. He doesn’t want him to hold back anything so he keep stroking him, caressing his cock, paying attention to the words he babbles. He kisses Sebastian’s chest again, he’s still taking things slowly. God it’s _so_ slow. He just want to go harder and faster, it’s taking him to the edge. But he doesn’t because Sebastian isn’t ready for that, not tonight.  
  
Sebastian starts moaning, groaning, and whining, moving under him, his mouth is wide open and he reaches for Chris’ arm.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I got you”. Chris can feel his whole body tensing, and he can see a blush darkening Sebastian’s cheeks. He can hear every moan Sebastian makes, and it’s driving him crazy.

He strokes Sebastian, twisting his wrist, guiding him through his orgasm and Sebastian comes, almost violently, his hips thrusting up towards Chris. It's that movement, and the hot stripes of come that paint his hand and Sebastian's chest that push Chris over the edge. Sebastian is bucking under him and he just lets go, he's coming too. "Yes, Sebastian, yes," he manages to say.

Sebastian is still babbling, wordless moans and Chris loves knowing that it's because of him.

They're both breathing hard now, messy and spent. But it was so good, god, Chris can't even remember anything like this. It’s _so_ wrong, _so wrong_ , but all he wants now is to hold Sebastian in his arms.

He kisses Sebastian's face, still reassuring him. The last thing he wants now is to upset him in any way. "You did so good baby, that was amazing."

Sebastian still can’t say a word, he seems breathless and overemotional and looks as if he can barely keep his eyes open. Chris rolls on his back and sit at the side of the bed, taking off the condom and throwing it into the trash can near the bed. But he immediately goes back to Sebastian and drags him close to him.

An arm wrapping around him, Sebastian’s head on his chest. He still hasn’t said a word so Chris kisses his forehead. “Okay baby?”

Sebastian nods softly. He looks so sleepy and shagged, but still so adorable, still trying to breathe regularly and his cheeks still tainted of pink.  
  
Chris looks at his clock and it’s late. Really late. But he doesn’t want to tell Sebastian he should go home, he knows too well that would upset him, and that’s the last thing he wants. He surely doesn’t want him to think he’s trying to get rid of him, not right now, not after that, _not ever_. But he has to say something because Sebastian is starting to fall asleep in his arms and once he’s asleep Chris doesn’t think he’ll have the heart to wake him up.  
  
“Don’t take this the wrong way. I would _love_ for you to stay, but baby it’s really late, your parents will probably be worried if you don’t go back home.” And Sebastian looks at him with that sad looks he was hoping not to get. “Hey, hey, don’t make that face, please. Believe me I’d love for you to stay as much as you seem to want to.” He gives him a gentle kiss.

Sebastian is pouting, he looks close to tears again, but Chris can't be upset. "Listen, baby," he reassures him. "You were wonderful, and perfect. But let's get you cleaned up and dressed, I don't want you to get into any trouble for keeping you out so late."

Sebastian nods mutely and doesn't protest when Chris gets a cloth and cleans them both off. Back in the kitchen he hands Sebastian his clothing, and as he dresses himself, Chris puts his own clothes back on before he helps Sebastian pack uphis bag and the pens scattered, his math book— only somewhat wrinkled— and his homework into his backpack.

"Shit," he says under his breath.

"What is it?" Sebastian asks, sounding half-scared.

"We never did finish your work. I'm sorry, I'm a pretty shitty tutor."

Sebastian answers with a weak smile and continues packing his stuff. Finding himself behind Sebastian to hand him the text book, his hand instantly reaches for Sebastian’s arm, tenderly stroking it. Leaving a kiss on his shoulder, he speaks softly, “Ready to go ?”

Chris drives Sebastian home because Sebastian still looks sad and tired and he really wants him to feel good about what happened, to show him he cares, to let him know that it hasn’t been a pointless night. He even give him a kiss before he leaves his car.

But once he’s alone he starts regretting what happened between them. It should have never happened. He’s a teacher and Sebastian is his student. He’s mad at himself for the entire drive home, but once he’s back inside his apartment and he looks at the table… He’s got all those fresh memories coming back by waves. He can almost feel Sebastian in his mouth again. He shakes his head but it’s worse when he goes to his bedroom. 

The sheets were left undone, half on the bed, half on the floor. It was a better idea to comfort and cuddle Sebastian than to fix the sheets and blanket. He needs a cigarette to forget for a minute, forget what happened tonight, forget he just fucked one of his students and he liked it more than he’s willing to admit. He needs to forget it but he doesn’t want to.

He needs fresh air and, sitting outside where he was with Sebastian the last time, the whole night keeps repeating itself in his head. He takes a last long drag on his cigarette, shaking his head, and passes a hand over his face. He really did something stupid.

A short while later, when he slides in his bed, he can’t keep his hand anywhere else than on his cock. Like a reflex, just stroking himself softly, he’s not masturbating, just remembering everything. Biting his lips and smiling like an idiot. He can’t make up his mind, that was so incredibly wrong, but only a small part of his brain feels guilty about it.

He’s _really_ acting like a teenager right now.  



	5. There’s No Good Answer To That Question

The next day is a Friday, and Chris has Sebastian’s class in the morning. He can’t wait to see Sebastian. It’s so wrong but he _needs_ to see him. He plans to ask Sebastian if he wants to come to his apartment on Saturday. He feels guilty about the tutoring, or lack thereof. He really wants to help Sebastian prepare for the test next Monday.

During class it's easy to see that Sebastian isn't his usual self and Chris feels awful about that. He's not sure if Sebastian regrets what happened between them or if he's just struggling with the work. But both options make him feel really bad.

As the class works on a practice exam, to prepare for Monday, Chris makes rounds of the classroom. He tries not to be obvious and hover over Sebastian, actually almost avoids his desk.

When he finally does stop at Sebastian's desk he immediately notices the frustrated scribbles, the crossed out numbers and equations and he feels like an idiot. All that time they could have spent studying last night, they'd spent in bed instead.

It takes a moment for Sebastian to look up, to notice that Chris is standing over his desk. He looks half afraid as he glances up at Chris, then back to his work.

Chris leans down towards Sebastian's ear. "See me after class," he says quietly.

When class ends, Sebastian stays at his desk as the rest of the class files out. Chris doesn't wait, this time he makes his way over to Sebastian.

"About last night," he begins.

Sebastian's face falls.

"No, no, just hear me out," Chris says quickly. Christ, the last thing he wants is for the kid to start crying here. "I'm sorry that we didn't spend more time going over the math work." Sebastian's head is bowed over his desk again, he's refusing to meet Chris' eyes.

Chris takes Sebastian's chin in his hand and brings his head up so their eyes meet. "I'm not sorry about what happened, okay?" he says softly.

That seems to get through to Sebastian and the tiniest smile flickers across his lips.

"Now, you know the exam on Monday is worth a pretty big part of your grade... do you want to try coming to my place for a study session tomorrow?"

Sebastian hesitates for a fraction of a second before answering. "Yes, I'd like that, Mr. Evans."

Chris smiles at him. "Listen, you... _we_ really need to make sure you study though. That's our first priority. Prove to me that I'm not wrong, that you are as smart as I think you are. We'll do a practice exam and I'm going to make sure you know what you're doing, deal?"

Sebastian nods, gathering up his things to head to his next class. "Thank you," he says.

"Come over around lunchtime," Chris reminds him.

* * * *

Chris has made his first goal to help Sebastian study that day. No distractions, he really wants to help him, as a teacher.

When  Sebastian knocks at his door, he shakes his head, trying to concentrate. No distractions whatsoever, he repeats to himself. He opens the door to see a small, hesitant smile on Sebastian’s face. There are days where he’s the most arrogant little shit on the planet and others where his face just screams sadness and pain. He wasn’t expecting that staying focused on work would be this hard. It’s only been seconds since he opened the door and he already wants to reassure Sebastian and kiss him.   
  
He has no doubt now that last night was a really bad idea when he sees how Sebastian is acting right now, how he acted yesterday, the guilt he feels is overwhelming. He’s the adult, he should have stopped it before it went too far. He wishes he could hear what Sebastian is thinking, he hopes he doesn’t believe he isn’t important to him. What if that’s what he’s thinking? He can’t let Sebastian think such a stupid thing so he just gives him a really quick, soft kiss on the cheek once the door is closed.  
  
He’s glad he did when he sees the kid’s eyes instantly brighten with joy. It's funny, Chris thinks, that such a little gesture would make Sebastian so happy.

"Listen before we get started, when we're outside of class, you can call me Chris. I figure we're past the formalities of you calling me Mr. Evans all the time." He’s already said that to Sebastian during their first tutoring session, but since Sebastian keeps calling him ‘Mr. Evans’ he thought a reminder wouldn’t hurt. Mostly, it’s because Sebastian calling him ‘Mr. Evans’ _all_ the time is such a turn on and it’s too big of a distraction.

Sebastian gives him a small smile again. "Okay, sure. _Chris_ ," he says, trying it out.

"Now, let's get this math started, I'd really like to see you ace this test."

Sebastian sighs and sits at the table. He spread his book and papers out, trying to smooth the wrinkled pages.

"Sorry about that," Chris says with a laugh, pointing to the rumpled pages.

Sebastian looks up at him. "Probably shouldn't do that again," he mumbles.

Chris brushes it aside and starts talking about the exam, but he can't stop wondering if Sebastian means the book, or what they did together. It did sting  a little, his remark, and he feels even more guilty now, practically convinced that what happened was really a bad idea because Sebastian does look like he regrets it.

He thought he was beginning to have Sebastian figured out but it looks like no one understands him. He’s not even sure Sebastian understands himself completely.  
  
Sebastian is really concentrating, really trying to understand what he’s doing. Hell, he even asks question without teasing Chris. As a teacher, Chris is glad he’s taking it seriously. He can see him struggle on a few things, but he doesn’t give up and keeps trying.   
  
At first his hand brushes Sebastian’s unintentionally, but it keeps happening more and more, and the more time that passes, the more they start becoming  comfortable around each other. Soon Chris’ hand is on Sebastian’s back, rubbing it encouragingly.   
  
It’s nice to see Sebastian working without trying to mess around, without getting distracted by his touch. He likes that Sebastian feels comfortable around him, at least he seems that way now. He doesn't want to make him nervous, or keep him from learning. He really did, _does_ , want to help him succeed.

Surprisingly, now that he’s working and actually concentrating it doesn't take much time at all for Sebastian to finish. In that short amount of time, Chris has grown used to the warm feeling of Sebastian's back under his hand. He only moves it when Sebastian pushes the paper away.

"Finished," he says. He doesn't sound entirely confident, but he does sounds more hopeful than he had before.

Chris takes the paper and starts to check over the work. It's messy, there are still lots of things crossed out, erased, but it's actually correct. There's one or two problems that Sebastian really seems to have struggled with, but he's managed to do an excellent job.

Chris beams at him. "This is fantastic. I knew you could do this." He wants to ask Sebastian, about his words earlier, talk to him about what happened between them. He doesn't though. "Do you feel more prepared for the test on Monday now?"

“I don’t think I can ever feel ready for your dumb test.” He smiles.

“Hey!” Chris laughs “It’s not my choice, I have to grade you. If it was up to me I’d rather not spend my next week correcting tests, there’s other things I’d like to do instead.”  
  
“Like what?” He’s wearing that arrogant cocky smile again. Chris didn’t think it would make him that happy to see that grin back.  
  
“Like things,” he answer. He doesn’t want his words to become innuendo like they did two days ago.  
  
“Things,” Sebastian repeats seductively. There’s that tongue again, darting out over pink lips.

That look from Sebastian seems to answer any lingering doubts that Chris has. At least he _hopes_ it means Sebastian doesn't regret what happened. It's actually killing him not knowing what Sebastian is thinking. It's a risk, to bring it up, to try and get Sebastian to talk to him, but Chris thinks it needs to be discussed.

"Things like... me?" Sebastian interrupts his thoughts with another flick of his tongue over his lower lip.

Chris runs a hand though his hair. "Listen... we should probably talk about what happened, last time."

Sebastian's bravado seems to disappear, but he recovers quickly. "Which part?" he asks, locking his eyes on Chris'.

"The part where—"

Chris cuts him off this time. "Sebastian, we need to have a serious discussion."

He looks like a scared puppy again. Chris can see the fear in his eyes, he doesn’t understand what kind of fear it is. He’s not cocky anymore, waiting for Chris to speak, his eyes are starting to tear up and Chris reaches out to brush his hand through Sebastian’s hair comfortingly.  
  
“I need to know how you feel about what happened,” he says, trying to sound confident and reassuring.

“Wha… I don’t understand,” Sebastian says, looking panicked.

Chris thinks for a minute, trying to formulate his thoughts, trying to approach the subject in a different way. “Do you regret it? Even a little? Do you feel bad about it? Is it something you liked? Didn’t like? Tell me everything, I want to know how you feel about what happened, _what’s happening_.”

Sebastian swallows. "What's _happening_?" he asks, his voice almost a whisper. "You mean _you_ don't regret it? You liked it?" he asks, turning the tables on Chris.

Chris inhales. It's such a loaded question. If he tells the truth, tells Sebastian that of course he liked it, and that as much as he wants to, as much as he should, he doesn't regret it, not deep down. If he says that, it's going to open up a whole mess of things that he's not sure either of them are ready to deal with. But the alternative is, lying, hurting Sebastian's feelings. Telling him how wrong it was. And god, he's not about to sit there and make him cry. Because he knows that's what will happen. He doesn't want that, couldn't stand that.

Reaching out, he places a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "Sebastian, listen. I liked it _a lot_. God help me, I like you a lot." He avoids that mention of regret, hoping Sebastian won't notice. "What I need to know is how _you_ feel about it," he asks again. "Because I need to know you're okay."

Sebastian considers his answer. He reaches up and places his hand over Chris'. "I don't," he says.

Chris' mouth goes dry. "Don't what?"

"I don't regret it," Sebastian says. He's smiling now, just a small quirk of his lips, curling up the corners of his mouth. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Hearing Sebastian say that is a huge relief.  He really thought for a second he wasn’t okay at all and he was the reason for it.

“Not you?” Sebastian adds, it’s meant to be teasing and cocky but it sounds more scared and stressed than anything.

Chris swallows, feeling a lump in his throat. He wasn’t expecting it to turn like this so quickly. But again, he doesn’t want to lie. “I would,” he whispers, “But we can’t do that.” He wants to though, _really wants to_. But that wouldn’t be a smart decision. He makes the mistake of looking at Sebastian again and god his eyes look sad and yet he’s still wearing that grin. How can he looks so sad and excited at the same time ?  
  
“Why ?” Sebastian keeps whispering, moving his face closer so his lips are almost touching Chris’s.

It's torture, he's close enough to kiss Sebastian and he wouldn't even have to try that hard. Knowing they both want it, both want each other makes it that much harder. Still, he doesn't move, doesn't pull back. "It's wrong," he whispers. "You know it, I know it. I'm your teacher and it doesn't matter..." he clears his throat. "It doesn't matter how much I want you."

Sebastian gives a small gasp at his words. They’re close enough that Chris can feel the tug of air on his lips.

"I... I'm your teacher and if anyone found out, someone at school, your parents... I'd lose my job and... you..." God, he doesn't even want to think about what a scandal like that would do to Sebastian.

"I don't care," Sebastian whispers forcefully.

Chris doesn't have time to ask whether he really means that or not. He doesn't have time because Sebastian kisses him then, his lips on Chris', his tongue probing.

He wants to push him away, but his hand pulls him closer. It’s so wrong, he just made a speech explaining to him how wrong it is. It’s like he didn’t even listen to himself.

Chris tries to organize his thoughts, to break the kiss, but he can’t even think properly. Sebastian’s tongue is in his mouth, playing with his, Sebastian’s hand is on his neck…  
  
“Stop,” he tries to say. “Stop.” His words come out a whisper against Sebastian’s mouth, but they keep kissing. It takes all his strength to break the kiss, biting Sebastian’s lower lip. “Stop” he says again. “It’s wrong,” Chris says, not sounding convincing at all because he bit Sebastian’s lip as he told him to stop.   
  
Sebastian pushes his mouth against Chris’ again. Forces his way in it. They’re both overeager and excited, and _god_ , no, it can’t happen again. No distractions Chris said. Even if they’re done working, even if Sebastian did really great and he’s proud he was able to focus for so long.

It can’t happen again, this time there will not be any excuse. Not that he needs excuses for two days ago, no, but he can at least pretend it was a one-time thing, something that should never happen again.   
  
But if they do it again, there won’t be any excuse this time. He’ll be one hundred percent responsible for it. _He wants it,_ he wants it so bad but he has to behave, for once he has to act like the adult.

It takes ever last ounce of willpower to pull away from Sebastian and his talented mouth. "Sebastian," he says, trying to get his attention. He's just so intent on kissing Chris again, it's like he doesn't even hear him.

"Sebastian," he says again louder, placing his hands on Sebastian's chest. He doesn't push him away, just holds it there.

"What?" Sebastian asks. Chris can feel his heart beating under his hands and it's fast and there's something about that that nearly makes him curl his hands into Sebastian's shirt and pull him closer.

"We shouldn't do this. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't make you leave right now. Why I shouldn't have you transferred out of my class." He doesn't mean it, doesn't really want to do those things and his tone isn't harsh at all. He wonders if Sebastian knows just how much of a temptation he is to him.

He can see the fear in Sebastian eye’s coming back. _No_ , no that’s not what he wanted! That’s not what he meant. He doesn’t want to do it, if it was up to him and only him he would drag him to his bedroom right now. He has no idea how to fix what he just said, so he kisses Sebastian. Anything but making him cry.   
  
But Sebastian isn’t idiot and he pushes him back. “That’s what you want to do ?” His voice is breaking, awful to hear, he can sense the fear and the tears in it. _God no._   Why in the hell did he say that.  
  
“That’s what I should do,” Chris whispers closing his eyes for a second. “But that’s not what I want.” He’s staring at him now, scanning every one of Sebastian’s reactions. Trying to fix his mistakes, hoping he can.  
  
“What do you want?” He looks so scared again, it would be adorable if it wasn’t heartbreaking. Chris bites his lower lip, not out of lust, not out of envy or excitement but out of frustration.   
  
There’s no good answer to that question.

"Fuck... I just..." He might as well go for brutal honesty, there's not really any way this could get any worse than it already is.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that first time we kissed. You're a horrible tease and yet... and yet you're this mysterious kid that I can't seem to pin down. You're moody as fuck and damn it, you're beautiful. If I weren't your teacher I wouldn't even be talking right now because my mouth would be too busy doing other things. But I don't know what to do Sebastian. I can't win. I don't know if it's worse to give in and put us both at risk or to send you packing and live with knowing how much I hurt you."

There, he's said it. It's all out in the open. He's not mad, it wasn't a rant fueled by anger. It was just the truth. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sebastian’s face shows a mixture of fear and curiosity. When he speaks, his words are soft and fearful. “You want me? ”  
  
Chris laughs internally because after all that, his whole impassioned speech, that’s the only thing the kid is able to say? “Yes,“ he answers. “Yes. Sebastian, I want you, but I can’t have you.” The words sounds tougher that he intended.  
  
“Why not?”

Ugh, that wrecked voice again, his eyes are wet, and his cheeks are red too but Chris doesn’t know if it’s because it’s starting to get hot in his kitchen or if Sebastian is blushing.  
  
“Did you even pay attention to what I just said?” He smiles, he doesn’t want to offend Sebastian so he continues, just in case he really didn’t pay attention to everything. “You’re my student, that’s why. _God_ ,  believe me I want you, I want you so damn hard but I can’t— _we_ can’t do this.”

"What about what I want?" Sebastian asks, his voice breaking. "Does that matter to you at all?"

It does matter to Chris, it shouldn't, not when there are so many things against there being _anything_ between them. But it does matter, because he has a feeling that no one ever asks Sebastian what he wants. What he thinks.

Shit, I really am thinking about this kid way too much, he tells himself. What he says to Sebastian is different though. "Alright, you tell me. Tell me what you want. It _does_ matter. It matters to me."

Sebastian looks at him with so much hope in his eyes that it nearly kills Chris.

"I'm not saying it's going to change my mind... or change things. But tell me what you want, kid. Talk to me."

He can see Sebastian struggling to find the right words, to express everything he wants.  
  
“I want you,” he says. “Not in that way,” he adds when Chris looks at him and sighs, not completely out of exasperation because there’s also a small laugh hidden in it. “Well maybe in that way too. But I want to be with you, I…I…I want to kiss you, not just because I’m feeling excited but because I want to.” His tongue trips over the words as they pour out of his mouth and there’s almost tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what’s happening, I’ve never been like this _Mr. Evans_. I want to be with you, I want to be in your arms, I just want to spend time with you!”   
  
Now Sebastian is completely crying. He let everything out and opened himself up to Chris and he’s shaking. Chris knows Sebastian must be scared. He’s gnawing on his fingernails now, his mouth raw but he’s staring into Chris’ eyes, as if he’s unable to look away.

Fuck, Sebastian's crying again and it's all his fault. Sebastian is sitting there with tears streaming down his face and all he can think about is how much he wants to kiss him.

Chris settles on a compromise. He pulls his chair closer to Sebastian's, and he wraps him into a hug.

Sebastian rests his head against Chris' shoulder, his tears wet against Chris' neck.

Pulling Sebastian forward so he can rub his back, he hushes him. "Shhh,” he says as he rubs circles across Sebastian’s shoulders. It seemed to help calm him before, he's praying it will help now. "Please don't cry."

Sebastian is shaking in his arms, silently sobbing and Chris just holds him. He has no idea what else to do. If it was up to him and only him he would just kiss him, and repeat how much he cares about Sebastian, and it’s crazy how much he does. How much it’s affecting him to have this kid cry in his arms right now. There’s a twinge in his heart, a physical ache when he hears Sebastian sobbing against his shoulder. He surprises himself when he rests his nose against Sebastian’s skin, patiently waiting for Sebastian to calm down.

Several minutes go by before Chris can feel Sebastian relaxing in his arms. He's not crying anymore, as far as Chris can tell, but he's still quiet, still hurting.

Chris gently moves him away, so that he can look at him. His cheeks are tear stained and his eyes are still red. And despite that, Chris still wants to kiss him. So this time, he does.

It’s a gentle kiss, his lips barely brushing Sebastian’s. He hates himself for what he’s about to say, _oh he really does_ , but right now he can’t say anything else. “Maybe we can find a compromise,” he whispers, pulling his forehead against Sebastian’s. He can see Sebastian’s eyes open wider at that, and there’s a tiny, extremely small smile across his lips that fades away nearly as fast as it appeared  
  
“A compromise?” he repeats and his voice breaks Chris’ heart even more than hearing him sob.

Chris wants to punch himself in the face, what the hell is he thinking, there’s no possible deal. It’s either his morals, his job, his life or it’s Sebastian. No compromise in that.

“Maybe… Maybe we can,“ he clears his throat still unsure of his words, “Maybe we can spend some times together, outside of school.” He can see hope rising in the kid’s bloodshot eyes. He sighs, keeps repeating to himself that this is the most stupid decision he ever made. “But it has to stay between us Sebastian, do you understand that ? _Do you understand that_?”

Sebastian nods.

He emphasizes his point again. "That means you have to behave, at school. You can't tell anyone about us, you can't let anyone know that I'm anything more than your teacher, do you understand?"

Sebastian's smile is back, bigger this time. "I understand, I swear. I won't tell anyone." He sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "I don't really have anyone to tell anyway," he laughs bitterly.

Chris doesn't say anything, doesn't want to believe it's true that Sebastian has no one to talk to. For some reason though, he believes Sebastian when he says he won't give away their secret. _Their secret,_ Chris wants to laugh, or cry, he can’t make up his mind for now. It’s the stupidest decision ever and at the same time it’s the only decision that makes him happy, that makes _Sebastian_ happy. The stupidest decision but the only one he wants to make.

"So does that mean we can..." Sebastian hesitates and a blush creeps across his pale cheeks. "Does that mean we can have sex again?" There's a curious tone to his voice, like he's not sure he believes Chris enjoyed it, enjoyed being with him.

Chris doesn't get a chance to answer, because Sebastian kisses him, soft pecks that start on his cheek and then move downward to the corners of his mouth. He's good, he really is good at kissing. Soon their lips are together and Sebastian is kissing Chris with everything he has.

Chris strokes Sebastian’s head, caressing his messy hair, and he breaks the kiss gently. He doesn’t want to, but he has to. He looks at Sebastian before saying, “It means there’s a lot of thing we can do, but a lot more things we can’t.” He exhales loudly. “This thing between us, whatever we’re doing, I want you to know that as much as I enjoy it, _it’s wrong_ , we shouldn’t do it. No one can know Sebastian, no one.”

“I got that the first time you said it,” he replies with a shy smile.

“I’m not joking.” His tone is more severe this time. “Everything we’ll do, it happens here, _only here_. Outside of these walls I’m your teacher and only your teacher. Do you really understand the importance of what I’m saying?”

Chris knows he’s saying it to remind himself as much as Sebastian. He might be a little more tough that what he wants, but this is primordial, this is important and they can’t make any exception.

"I get it. I'm not an idiot," Sebastian says tersely.  "Do you really think I want people at school finding out? Or my mom?" he snorts. He rakes a hand though his hair, making it stand on end. "Jesus, _Chris_ , I'm not an idiot," he says again.

Chris knows he's mad, showing his temper now. He almost wants to laugh, how does Sebastian go from tears to anger in such a short amount of time?

"I know," he says calmly. "I never said you were." Trailing a finger along Sebastian's jaw, he smiles. "C'mon kid, don't be mad. I'm just making sure you understand me, alright?" He presses a quick kiss to Sebastian's cheek.

“ _Alright_ ,” he answers still sounding a little irritated.  
  
“C’mon, don’t be like that!” Chris tries to laugh to lighten the mood, kissing Sebastian’s cheek again. But Sebastian still won’t look at him, so he keeps talking. “Kiss me,” he tries to tease him. It’s as much because he wants to taste Sebastian again, because he misses the touch of his soft lips against his, than because he wants to make Sebastian react.  Which works, Sebastian looks at him almost instantly, gauging his reaction before smirking and pressing his lips against Chris’.

In a few seconds, it’s Sebastian breaking the kiss. “Does that mean I can’t tease you in class anymore then?” he asks, biting his lower lip.  
  
“First of all, you never should have done that to begin with,” Chris answers raising an eyebrow with a little smile. “So, yes, that means you have to stop that,” he moves his face to whisper against Sebastian’s ear. “Unless you’re two hundred percent sure nobody can see you _except me_.”

"Hah," Sebastian laughs and then smirks. "I knew you liked it."

Chris groans. "Of course I like it, that's the problem, it's all kinds of distracting to watch you licking your lips, or biting them in the middle of class." It’s so distracting that Chris prays every time, to not stutter and make a fool of himself in front of his class when Sebastian plays with him like this. But somehow that never stops him from looking for Sebastian’s face too many times during a class.

"Oh, _really_?" Sebastian asks.

Chris can tell he just wants to hear him say it. "Yes, really. So distracting."

"Distracting how?" Sebastian asks, teasing now, playing a game to egg Chris on.

"I think it's pretty obvious how distracting it is. I just told you, didn't I," Chris answers, not giving him the satisfaction. "Maybe as distracting as say... I was with that apple you brought me that day?"

It's Sebastian's turn to groan now. "That was the dumbest thing I could have done," he admits. "I thought I'd be leaving it for you, as a reminder... but you just... you ate that stupid apple and..." he trails off, watching Chris' mouth. “And… I couldn’t stop thinking about… about what it would feel like to… to...” he’s breathless. He’s distracted by Chris now, by Chris’ eyes on him.  
  
“To?” Chris teases him, moving his tongue to lick his teeth, mouth open so Sebastian can see it.  
  
“To feel your mouth, your lips...” he swallows. “On me.” He licks his lower lip, opening his mouth more than it already was, so much that it’s almost obscene now.  
  
“Yeah?” Chris grins, his voice full of desire. “And how did it feel,” he pauses to take a second to look at Sebastian, “When I did?” Sebastian can’t hold back a loud moan, biting his lip, shivering at the memory of how it felt. That makes Chris smirk again. He’s really proud of himself right now, as always he shouldn’t be, but he is.

"Felt good,” Sebastian moans. It's clear that he's quickly losing his train of thought.

"You want that again?" Chris asks, the words slipping easily off his tongue.

"Y...yeah." Sebastian's eyes are wide, pupils dilated. He closes his mouth with some effort and he swallows loudly.

Still grinning, Chris takes advantage of Sebastian's closed mouth, his speechlessness. He's already close enough that he can kiss Sebastian without really moving. Sebastian's eyelids flutter closed, he can sense what's coming. But Chris wants him closer, wants to touch him more. He cradles Sebastian's head in his hands, brings him close and kisses him. Presses their mouths together and in a second Sebastian parts his lips, letting Chris' tongue push past his teeth, licking into his mouth.

Sebastian brings his hands towards Chris, groping, grasping for purchase.

Chris moves down one of his hand to reach Sebastian’s crotch, he can feel Sebastian is already hard, and so is he.   
  
He stops the kiss briefly to murmur against Sebastian’s mouth.“You want my mouth on you, baby?” There’s that pet name again, he doesn’t know why but he really likes to call Sebastian that and it’s not even on purpose. He keeps kissing him, letting their tongues meet and move together. Pressing a little more on Sebastian’s crotch.  
  
Sebastian whines against his mouth. Pressing his fingers, digging his short nails in Chris’ neck harder.   
  
Chris’ fingers are busy opening Sebastian’s zipper, and another groan escapes Sebastian’s mouth when he finally feels the release of the pressure as Chris opens his jeans.

Moving on from Sebastian’s mouth, Chris presses his mouth against Sebastian’s neck, kissing him intently. “You want my mouth baby?” he asks again.  
  
“Yes, yes, _please_ ,” Sebastian whines when Chris strokes him through his underwear, touching his hard cock.

With a smile, Chris keeps a hand over Sebastian's cock, gently squeezing him. Dropping to his knees, to the floor in front of Sebastian, he looks up at him again. “Sebastian,” he breathes. Moving his hand over Sebastian's stomach, skimming his shirt up, Chris runs his tongue over Sebastian’s skin, his tongue playing in the dips between each rib, circling his belly button, loving the way his skin feels under his lips. Reaching the waistband of Sebastian’s underwear, Chris hesitates, and then decides against taking them off, wanting to drag it out a bit longer, instead he lowers his face against Sebastian's erection and starts mouthing at it, starting at the base and moving to the tip gradually.

Sebastian's whine of pure pleasure sounds so broken that Chris glances up at him, without stopping, to make sure he’s alright. Sebastian looks back at him, blue eyes wide and his face etched with want and desperation. Chris thinks it might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Sebastian’s parted lips are so red, swollen from Chris’ kisses and his own teeth pressing into the soft flesh.

Chris can’t stop the moan that escapes from his throat. The view is delicious.

“Please Chris, _please_ ,” Sebastian keeps whining. His hips start moving, lifting a little, asking for attention, begging for it. He puts his hand on Chris’ hair, seizing it gently. “Please” he repeats, his voice still so broken. “Chris, you’re killing me.”

Chris presses a kiss against Sebastian’s boxers before slowly removing them. He barely takes the waistband in his fingers before Sebastian lifts his body. He’s so impatient, it almost makes Chris laugh. So needy, eager, excited. He can’t help but thinking that’s really cute, and hot, _so hot_.  Chris puts his lips delicately to Sebastian’s cock and look up to see Sebastian staring back at him.  
  
“That’s what you want?” he asks, before licking, circling his tongue around Sebastian’s cock as obscenely as possible. “ _That’s what you want baby?”_

Sebastian grabs at Chris's hair again, thrusting his hips up. "Aaahh, yes, _please_!" His words send a jolt of heat through Chris, straight to his cock.

He leans down, sinking his mouth onto Sebastian's erection. He's rewarded with a series of small gasps from Sebastian, and it only makes him more excited. Sebastian lets out a deep, ragged breath and Chris looks up at him, sees the lust darkening his eyes. He locks eyes with Sebastian, sliding the rest of his cock into his mouth, taking him as deep as he can go.

His tongue licks up Sebastian’s shaft as he works, letting his teeth graze ever so slightly against the sensitive flesh. He doesn’t take his eyes off Sebastian, wanting to keep the contact, making this more intimate. He pulls his head back, then dips forward again, bobbing his head in sinful slowness. He’s playing a game, seeing just how much Sebastian can take. Teasing him even as he gives him what he wants.

Chris is enjoying teasing Sebastian a little too much and while Sebastian is doing a commendable job of holding out, holding back, Chris knows he can't tease him forever.

He pulls his head back again, holding the base of Sebastian's cock with his fingers. His tongue swirls around the tip, coaxing the slick drops of pre-come from the tip. Lips pressed against the hot flesh, he murmurs to Sebastian. "Getting tired of the teasing? You want more?" he asks. He runs his tongue from the tip to the base and then back again. "Do you want me to make you come?" he asks Sebastian, looking at him through his eyelashes.

“ _Fuck._ Yes.” He isn’t quiet this time, “ _Yes_ , please Mr. Evans,” he cries out.

There’s something about Sebastian calling him Mr. Evans, the way it rolls of Sebastian’s tongue, that goes straight to his own cock. He doesn’t want to push Sebastian any more than this so he takes him in his mouth and starts moving. He doesn’t stop teasing him with his tongue though. And Sebastian is moving too, giving him a rhythm to follow.

“ _Oh god_ ,” he moans again. He already had a glimpse of it last time, but Sebastian is definitely a loud person and Chris can’t say he doesn’t enjoy. On the contrary, he enjoys it very much.

Encouraged by Sebastian's loud moans and knowing he's teased him long enough, Chris increases his pace. Sebastian's hips are thrusting, driving his cock deeper into Chris' mouth and soon Chris can feel them stutter, losing their rhythm.

Patting and stroking Sebastian's thighs, he hums over his cock, feeling Sebastian's body go tense.

Sebastian cries out, warning Chris. " _Oh_ , Chris, 'm gonna come." His voice is wrecked and his eyes squeeze shut as his cock pulses in Chris' mouth. Chris keeps sucking, draining the orgasm out of him. Sebastian's come hits his tongue, hot and salty and he swallows it all, lapping at the underside of Sebastian's cock as it pulses. Keeps his mouth on Sebastian until he's finished coming, and his moans have quieted.

He keeps stroking Sebastian’s thighs the entire time, and then he moves a hand to his chest and slowly moves his mouth away.   
  
He gets up on his feet and grasps Sebastian’s chin. “Okay?” he asks, it’s almost inaudible but Sebastian nods and opens his eyes with some difficulty. Chris kisses his cheek, and sit back in his own chair. Sebastian seems to be somewhere else, so Chris strokes his cheek with the back of his hand. It’s flattering to see the effect he has on Sebastian.  
  
“Wow,” he finally hears the kid say, that makes him smile.

Chris repeats Sebastian's words. "Yeah, wow."

Sebastian seems a little more with it now, more recovered. "That was... wow," he says again.

Chris laughs. "You're welcome."

Sebastian looks almost embarrassed. "Thank you." A blush creeps across his face, darkening his already flushed cheeks.

It doesn't seem off to either of them to be sitting in Chris' kitchen, Sebastian mostly naked and Chris sitting back, mouth swollen and erection straining against his pants.

Sebastian looks over at him and licks his lips. It's deliberate and calculated and Chris doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything. He wants to see what Sebastian will do.

Sebastian has come back down to earth and he looks as though his head is full of dirty thoughts. The way he’s looking at Chris suggests that he’s like to make Chris moan, and lose control like he just did. He looks at Chris, and then to the crotch of his pants, and then meets Chris’ eyes again.  He licks his lips again and but before he can say anything he’s interrupted by a ringtone. By his own ringtone.  
  
Sebastian’s phone is ringing and he reaches towards the pocket of his jeans, the jeans now puddled around his ankles. An embarrassed look crosses his face as he flashes the screen towards Chris.

The call is coming from Sebastian’s mom. Chris straightens in his seat guiltily. “Answer it,” he tells Sebastian.  
  
“Hey, hi hm, yeah I know it’s late I—” Sebastian leans on the table, trying to avoid Chris’ gaze. Chris looks at his watch when he hears Sebastian saying that it’s late, and yes he hadn’t noticed but it’s almost 6 o’clock now, they spent so much time studying, and talking, and...

“Yeah, no mom I told you I was studying. Yes I know I promised you. Yes, okay. I’m leaving right now okay? I’m on my way. Yes. Okay. Bye.” 

Sebastian holds his phone and sheepishly looks at Chris. "That was my mom, I... I really need to go home, I didn't know it was this late and—"

"Sebastian, it's fine," Chris assures him. The last thing he wants is to get him in trouble with his mother. That really is absolutely the last thing he needs. "Go ahead and get dressed," Chris reminds him.

Sebastian nods, still looking embarrassed and pulls his pants up from around his ankles.

"I can give you a ride home if you want?" Chris offers. He's trying to make it easier for Sebastian, trying to ignore the fact that all he really wants to do, if Sebastian is leaving, is do something about the hard-on he's still got.

"No!” Sebastian almost yells before he clears his throat, “No, I’m fine.” He’s fully dressed and he’s scratching his head, avoiding Chris’ eyes. “I should go now,” he stutters, blushing and looking mortified.  
  
“Hey,” Chris gets up on his feet and walk towards him to grab his chin, forcing Sebastian to look at him “It’s fine really, it’s fine baby” he kisses Sebastian’s cheek and look back at him. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

Sebastian shakes his head, pick up his books and his bag.   
  
Chris follows him to his door. “Wait,” he asks, “Give me your phone.” Sebastian looks confused and embarrassed but he doesn’t ask why, just gives Chris his phone.

Chris gives it back seconds later. “Here, you’ve got my number. Tell me when you’re home, just so I know you’re not dead,” he says with a grin.

Sebastian fights a smile and finally looks at Chris.

Kissing Sebastian on the lips, a quick but gentle kiss, Chris opens the door for him.  “See you for the test.” He can hear Sebastian sigh and swear under his breath, insulting his test.  
  
With Sebastian gone, the only thing Chris can think about is taking care of himself. He waits a few minutes, just to be sure Sebastian is really gone. The last thing he wants is to embarrass Sebastian further. If he were to come back in and to find Chris jerking off… well, he’d rather not think about that.

Chris almost wants to laugh at how the day has turned out. Retreating to the bedroom, he settles on the bed, his erection still pressing uncomfortably against his zipper. Shoving down his pants, he wastes little time, curling his fist around his cock. He knows it won't take long to get himself off, not with the memory of Sebastian's cock in his mouth, and all the sounds he'd made as he came.

He's only stroked himself a few times, his breath coming fast when he hears the chime from his phone telling him he has a new text message.

Chris can’t wait to open it, but it’s hard to stop stroking himself. Somehow he does, knowing that Sebastian probably just texted him, just the _thought_ of him makes him want to read what the text says.  
  
 **Did you really called yourself orgasms giver on my phone? Really Mr.Evans ? How old are you? Christ I looked for your name for minutes before finding one that didn’t exist before… I’m sorry to inform you that I have to rename you, you know, just in case, because YOU told me to stay discreet. Look who’s the teenager now… anyway I’m not dead, I’m home.**  
  
Chris laughs, he just wanted to make Sebastian smile because he saw how embarrassed he was when his mother called him. He’s also still very proud of himself for making Sebastian react the way he did, smirks when he remembers Sebastian breathing ‘wow.’

Now that he's gotten Sebastian's text, he really should reply back, but it can wait.

With images of Sebastian and his beautiful body still in mind, Chris closes his eyes and strokes his cock, wanting a release more than anything now. He moans at the friction, closes his eyes and imagines it's Sebastian who's touching him. In a few minutes his hips lift off the bed and he comes, shocks of pleasure radiating through his body as his cock pulses and pumps. He's a sticky mess now, but he doesn't care. In his post-orgasmic haze he hears his phone chime again.

It's another text from Sebastian.

It takes him a few seconds to adjust his eyes to the bright screen of his phone.  
  
 **I can’t keep thinking about your mouth on me... Your hands on me… Your lips, your eyes looking at me when you’re blowing me.. The way you take me so deep… The moans I couldn’t hold back… My hand on your hair, feeling your head moving… My hips swinging under you… Your mouth, so hot and wet… The way you made me beg for you… The way you call me baby… How you teased me…. How you made me come so hard… I wish I could have thanked you… I hope I just did a little, and you’re now stroking yourself thinking of me, because I am thinking of you.**  
  
Chris bites his lower lip, that almost makes him want to stroke his cock again, and now he has all those memories back in his head. A shower. He needs a really cold shower.

He send a text back, carefully choosing his words.

 **I did think of you. I thought of the way you were so beautiful, the way you were so loud when your cock was in my mouth. I jerked myself off thinking of you**.

He hits send, feeling a little nervous. He's never really sexted before. Is that what this is? He quickly sends another message.

**I made myself come thinking of you and now your naughty texts make me want to touch myself again.**

He hits send again and waits. The cold shower can wait, he's more interested in what Sebastian will text him back.

The answers follows not long after.  
  
 **Do it, put those handsome and strong fingers around your cock and think of me. Think of me on my knees. Think of what I would have done to you if I didn’t had to go. Imagine my fingers instead of yours. Imagine my mouth above your beautiful cock, imagine my breath on it. How my lips would touch you for the first time, my tongue licking your skin, how my mouth would feel around your dick, all wet and warm. Imagine my head moving between your legs.**  
  
Chris bites his lip harder, and open his mouth, frowning as his right hand caresses his cock again. He tries to text back with his left hand which is usually not easy, but it’s worse right now, with his concentration on something else.

It takes him longer than normal to type out a message. He's working his cock and even though he just came, it's too much, he's already getting hard again, Sebastian is just too good at sexting.

**I am imagining it. I've been imagining it since you actually did those things to me.**

He sends that message and then feels stupid. What should have said instead? He wants to know what Sebastian is doing. Is he touching himself too? Or is he just teasing Chris again.

**I hope all the things you're suggesting are making you hard. As hard as you were when your cock was in my mouth.**

He doesn't hit send yet, instead he adds another line.

**Are you thinking about how good it felt when I fucked you. You were so tight and so hot and I'd love to see you on your back, spread out on my bed again.**

Chris sends the message and waits, right hand still on his cock. He's not even sure he's doing this right, whatever it is they're doing, but that doesn't make it less exciting.

Again, it doesn’t take really long for Sebastian to send another text.  
  
 **I’m laying on my bed, I’m completely naked, just got out of a really quick shower a few minutes ago, I’m still wet. Couldn’t stop thinking about you touching yourself, I had to text you what I was thinking of. And right now I’m thinking of you fucking me, yes, thinking of your fingers inside me, feeling your tongue choking my moans in my mouth. I’m jerking myself off thinking about how good I felt when you were inside me. Feeling your body against mine. But I can’t stop thinking about how you tasted in my mouth that night, how I made you come. How much you panted. The noises you made. The flavor of your come on my tongue.**  
  
Chris doesn’t know if _he’s_ doing it right, but Sebastian is definitely doing it wonderfully. A shiver of pleasure runs through his body.

**God, Sebastian. I wanted to feel your mouth on me so much tonight. It's not the same just thinking about it. Next time...**

He sends the message, stroking himself with his other hand. It takes him so long to text one handed he starts another message right after the previous one.

**I'm thinking how good you must look, all wet and hard, laying on your bed, touching yourself. I bet your skin is covered in drops of water and if I were there I'd lick them off, lick you all over.**

Chris is impatient to receive another text from Sebastian, and this time when it takes a little longer, he’s not sure Sebastian isn’t doing it just to tease him more.  
  
 **Your tongue all over me, in me. I wonder what it feels like. I want to know how it feels. And I want you on top of me, I want you between my legs, I want to feel your body pressing against mine. I want to feel your dick in me, to feel you thrusting in me, back and forth and back and forth again. I want you to throw me on your bed, catch my thighs and bring me closer to you. I want you roll me on my stomach. I want to be on my hands and knees. I want you to take me like that, I want you to go as deep as you can. I want your thighs hitting mine. Your hands on my hips. I want to hear you moan, I want to moan your name, I want you to call me baby again.**  
  
Chris swallows hard, gulping for air, his hand is moving faster and he can’t stop imagining it. He can’t wait to see Sebastian again, he can’t wait for all of this to happen. He finds it easier to think of something to say to Sebastian now, funny because he doesn't think there's a drop of blood left in his brain.

**I'll do all those things to you. Next time. I'll take my time and lick you open, you'll feel my tongue anywhere you want it, baby. I can't wait to be behind you, to be inside you. Tell me how hard you are now, how hot it makes you thinking about those things?**

He's trembling now, thinking of Sebastian, picturing him on his hands and knees like that. It’s a torture to not receive a text right back, being patient isn’t something he’s ever found easy, especially right now. Hopefully Sebastian doesn’t take long to answer this time.  
  
 **I can’t wait to feel you in me, your hands on my back, making your way inside me like that’s the only thing you can do, the only thing you’re able to do. I want you to make me lose my mind. Make me babble incomprehensible words. Make me scream your name. Make me tighten my fists in your sheets because you make me feel so good. I’m biting my lip just thinking about it, I want to come Mr. Evans. I’m so close. Talk to me, make me come.**  
  
Oh dear lord, Chris never thought this kid could make him feel so excited with just words.

Chris fumbles with his phone in his excitement to send Sebastian a text back. He wants to send him over the edge, make him come for the second time that night.

**Touch yourself, Sebastian, and pretend it's my hands, stroking you, my fingers wrapped around your hard cock. Remember what my mouth felt like on you, how good I made you feel when I was on my knees in front of you. Think about that, think about me touching you, kissing you, licking you, my body pressed against yours. Think about that and come for me.**

He hits send as quickly as he can. Fuck, his hands are shaking and he's close to coming again himself. But he wants to wait, wants to know that Sebastian comes first.

He’s wondering if he actually just made Sebastian come. And it hits him suddenly. He’s sexting. That’s what they’re doing, and they should do it more often. Finally, he receives another text from Sebastian.

**So good… You on your knees, in front of me, your eyes on me while I’m coming. My come in your mouth, seeing you swallowing everything. That was so good…I hope you’re still stroking yourself, I hope you like that vision of me in my bed, completely naked and coming because of your texts. Imagine me coming all over you while you’re fucking me, remember my fingers sinking in your back. Remember me squirming under you, begging you for more. Whispering your name between loud moans. Remember me calling you Mr. Evans. I know you like that. Now picture my mouth on you right now. Can you feel how wet and warm it is? Imagine my tongue licking you, imagine me teasing you with my teeth. How does it feel Mr. Evans?**

Shit. He reads Sebastian's last message, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as the words on the screen of his phone send an electric jolt straight to his cock. His fingers tighten and he's stroking fast, faster until he comes, spilling all over his hand and stomach. For the second time that night. All because of Sebastian.

It takes him a moment to recover enough to text Sebastian back.

**It felt so good Sebastian, I just came all over myself... again. God kid, that was hot... I've never done that before, but you made it so good. How the hell did you get such a dirty mind?**

Not that he minds, Chris thinks as he sends the text. He's actually kind of hoping that next time they're together Sebastian will talk like that, tell him what he wants.

Sebastian answers quickly again.  
  
 **I just don’t have to concentrate that much, all I have to do is to think about you, about what we’ve done, about what I want us to do, want you to do to me. Hoping we’ll do it someday.  
Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep, I wonder why I’m so tired… And I still have to work tomorrow to get ready for your stupid test. Good night Mr. Evans. Can’t wait to see you on Monday, I’m not sure I’ll be able to focus on that test tho.**

He sends Sebastian a quick text back.

**Sebastian, you'll do fine on the test. I have faith in you. Thank you for... everything. Sweet dreams, kid.**

Chris hopes Sebastian will see it before he goes to sleep, that he won't worry about the test too much. He’s is tired too, but he still has to clean up, so he heads for the shower, rolling out of bed and leaving his phone behind.


	6. Am I Interrupting Your Playtime, Mr. Stan?

Knowing he’ll have Sebastian’s class this afternoon leaves Chris with an undeniable sense of excitement. He feels like a teenager again, a kid getting overexcited to see his crush. He wants to feel bad about it but he can’t help but smile. Sebastian has such an effect on him, he can’t even begin to understand it. It’s a really dangerous situation, but it’s so thrilling. The way Sebastian bites his lips when he tries to teach to his class, the way he licks them, the way he looks at him… It takes _a lot_ to not get hard when he sees that. Knowing nobody knows— nobody can— but it’s happening right under everyone’s noses.   
  
And the way he teases him back, the way he can make Sebastian blush and get a little uncomfortable when he lean on his desk. That’s something he really enjoys too. But he’s pulled out of his thoughts when students starts entering the room.

The kids file into the classroom and take their seats, only this time, Chris has an extra student. He's a little distracted watching Sebastian come in and sit down, so much so that he almost fails to notice the boy standing at his desk, note in hand.

"Excuse me, Mr. Evans?"

He looks up at the sound of his name. "Yes. What can I help you with?"

The boy hands him the note he's holding, Chris scans it. New student. "Alright, Chace," he says. "Find an empty seat, welcome to my classroom."

The boy nods and takes the only empty seat in the room, in the back row, next to Sebastian.

As excited as he is to have Sebastian in his class, Chris still has to teach. He's at the board, explaining a complicated equation when he hears laughter from the back of the room. He turns around and clears his throat. "I hope everyone is paying attention," he says, noticing that Sebastian and the new kid, Chace, both holding their hands in front of their faces, clearly hiding laughter.

He takes a deep breath and returns to the board. It's not long until he hears a loud laugh. A familiar one this time, and he knows it's Sebastian. Chris turns around, fixing a stern look on his face. “Am I interrupting your playtime Mr. Stan? Or do you have something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Hm,” Sebastian clears his throat, sitting up properly. “No, no I’m fine.” He has that cocky smile back on his lips. Chris hates that smile almost as much as he loves it.  
  
“Then would you mind paying attention to the lesson, or least pretending to?” Chris wants to turn back to face the board again but he notices Sebastian biting his lower lip and it makes him want to do the same, he doesn’t though, and finally turns to face the board.   
  
He can hear quiet laughter, he can see Chace struggling to stay quiet when he turns to face the class again, and Sebastian is smiling at his new neighbor. Somehow they’ve managed to get closer to one another. What is Sebastian playing at?

Chris finishes at the board and Sebastian and the new kid still seem to not be paying attention.

"Alright, I'm going to pass out these worksheets. If you use the equation on the board as an example, you should have no trouble solving any of these." He risks a glance at Sebastian, hoping he's been paying attention. Instead Sebastian seems to be whispering something to Chace.

As he hands out the papers, the closer he gets to the back of the room, to where Sebastian is, the more Chris grows annoyed. What the hell is Sebastian doing. He's been a tease in class, sure, but he's never been this blatant about not paying attention before.

Approaching Sebastian's desk he slides a paper in front of him and then Chace. They pull apart, Chace silently laughing and Sebastian wearing that cocky smirk.

"Gentlemen," Chris says. "I hope you won't have any _trouble_ getting this work done, with all the talking going on back here."

Chace straightens up in his seat and nods furiously. However Sebastian just looks at Chris, insolence on his face. "Sure thing, _Mr. Evans_."

Chris can feels a jolt of heat go straight to his cock at hearing his name said like that. Several vivid memories flood his mind all at once. Sebastian on his knees. Sebastian lying naked on his table. Sebastian moaning his name. Begging him. He walks back to sit at his desk, trying as hard as possible to think about something else. He grabs a little pile of papers— homework— he has to grade for another class. Taking advantage of having the class working for few minutes in silence.  
  
He wasn’t counting on Sebastian and his new friend to cause so much of a disturbance, still laughing at the back of the class, stirring and wriggling in their seats. Sebastian looks like he’s enjoying Chace’s presence a lot. Chris clears his throat loudly, staring at them, trying to obtain silence. His eyes are on Sebastian and he’s looking back at him, with that grin he wears so well. Chris’ gaze is not that friendly so they stop talking and pretend to look back at their papers. It works for a minute only and Chris can hear whispered noises starting again in the room.   
  
“Don’t force me to make you change seats back there.” Chris says, looking at them again.

Sebastian and Chace both look up in unison and Chris hopes that he looks serious enough to deter them from causing any more trouble. He isn't sure whether it's Sebastian egging Chace on or the other way around. He's never seen Sebastian like this before.

He goes back to marking papers, but again, before too long he hears chatter from the back of the class.

“Last warning, gentlemen," he says, shooting a glare at Sebastian and Chace. This time he can see that Chace looks concerned, while Sebastian... Sebastian seems to be finding the whole situation amusing.

He looks down again, pretending to grade the papers in front of him, but instead he watches Sebastian discreetly. Sees him trying to get Chace to laugh. Chace seems to be doing his best to ignore Sebastian, this time. Then Sebastian turns his eyes towards the front of the room, towards Chris. He smirks, then bites his lip, staring straight at Chris.

Chris can’t help but look up and share his gaze. Sebastian’s smirk just grows wider and he lick his lower lip. Sighing in exasperation and forcing himself to not roll his eyes at Sebastian, Chris looks back at the papers he was trying to grade. But before he can focus on them, he hears loud laughter.

He looks up just in time to see a crumpled piece of notebook paper fly from Sebastian’s hand to Chace’s desk. Chace scoops it back up and flings it at Sebastian’s head, both of them laughing again. They’re not paying attention and what’s worse, they’re not even trying to hide the fact that they’re screwing around.

Standing, Chris strides to the back of the room. He's out of patience and he doesn't know what the hell Sebastian is doing, but he's had enough. He starts talking loudly so the whole class can hear, making an example out of them. He leans on both their desks, eyes travelling between both his students, but it’s only because he can’t just stare at Sebastian.

"Mr. Stan, Mr. Crawford, since you can't seem to pay attention or behave in class today, you both just earned yourself detention after school. Report here at the end of the day."

Sebastian doesn't seem fazed. "Yeah, sure thing, _Mr. Evans_ ," he answers, still smirking.

Chris wants to tell him that this isn’t a game, but he obviously can’t. What the hell is Sebastian playing at, is it because the new kid?  
  
“Don’t be insolent Mr. Stan or I’ll make you stay in detention every day for the whole week,” Chris says, a little irritated at his comportment.   
  
Sebastian just raises his eyebrows and bites his lips obscenely, hopefully no one is looking at him, everyone is focusing –or pretending to— on their work. Even Chace doesn’t look up from his worksheet. “Alright, five more minutes,” Chris adds without leaving Sebastian’s gaze.  Defying Chris, Sebastian won’t take his eyes off him and he surely isn’t paying any attention to the worksheet in front of him.  
  
He starts walking around the room looking at some of his students work. When he reaches the back of the room Sebastian turns back to look at him, nobody can see him besides Sebastian so he takes advantage of it and mouths to him, “Enough.” He’s starting to get _really_ exasperated with Sebastian’s behavior.

If Sebastian can tell how annoyed he is, it doesn't seem to make a difference. He only grins when Chris tells him enough.

When the class ends, the students leave, handing in their papers as they pass Chris’ desk. When the new student drops his paper off Chris can see he looks embarrassed. “I’ll see you in detention later, Chace.”

“Yes, Mr. Evans,” he says as he leaves. “I’m sorry for my behavior today, I didn’t make a good first impression.”

Sebastian hangs back though, still smirking. 

“Hopefully you’ll have time to prove me that my first opinion of you is wrong.” Chris says before Chace passed through the door and closes it, forgetting Sebastian is still inside.

When he’s the only one left in the room, Sebastian saunters up to Chris’ desk. “So, you want to keep me after school, huh?” He let his paper flutter to the desk and licks his lips.

“Sebastian, be serious for once. I didn’t appreciate the way you were acting during class today,” Chris says curtly. He doesn’t look at Sebastian, instead stares at the stack of papers on his desk. “Just be back here for detention.”  
  
“I was just making a new friend,” Sebastian says as he grins cockily before biting his lip.  
  
“Oh, so that’s what it was huh?” Chris looks up at him, more exasperated than ever “You making a _friend_?” he says bitterly.  
  
“Yes.” Sebastian answers frowning, sounding a little surprised at Chris reaction.  
  
“Well maybe you should spend less time making friends and more time working. ‘Cause in case just you missed it, we’re at school right now, and you’re in my class, so when I ask you to stop being childish and to work I expect you to!”

Sebastian swallows hard, as if he doesn’t know how to answer. “I-I...”

“You what?” Chris spits his words ruthlessly. He drops his voice to a whisper, but loses none of the anger from his tone. "Do you think this is some kind of a game?"

"N-no, I..." Sebastian says meekly.

"Don't, I don't want to hear any excuses. It was ridiculous the way you acted in class today. I don't know what it is about that new kid, but you were acting like a fool."

Sebastian's mouth drops open, nothing comes out.

"Don't think about pulling anything like that during detention," Chris says. His shoulders are rigid, his body full of tense anger.

There's a small whimper from Sebastian and Chris refuses to meet his eyes. "Just go. Be back here for detention later."

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispers, sounding dazed.

Chris’ hands tighten, becoming fists. Sinking his fingers in palm, he chops his words, still talking low. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything. We’re at school, and I’m your teacher, and I’m asking you to leave.” He doesn’t recognize himself, he’s so angry, it doesn’t sound like him at all. “Now Sebastian.” He adds trying to sound calmer, his fingers relaxing as his fists slowly unclench.  
  
“But… I’m sorry.” Sebastian’s voice is breaking, and as Chris looks up at him he can see that Sebastian is almost crying. _Christ_ , he can really go from arrogance to extreme sadness in a second. But it’s surprisingly barely affecting Chris this time, he’s just too mad at the moment.

Sebastian finally leaves the room, leaving Chris to his thoughts. What the hell is going on today? Was Sebastian _flirting_ with Chace? Was he trying to make Chris jealous? Because truth be told, Chris _was_ jealous. But when he let his anger show, maybe a little too much, Sebastian immediately got upset.

With a sigh, Chris goes back to grading papers and waits for the time detention is due to start.

* * * *

When both students file into the room, Chace first, looking sheepish and Sebastian, red-face and teary eyed, Chris knows it's going to be a long hour.

"Take a seat, boys," he tells them. "But not too close together."

Sebastian sits in his usual seat while Chace chooses a desk near the front of the room.

"I suggest you both do any homework you have, make the best of this hour." Chris said. "You're both here because you were both being very disrespectful during class today. I didn't appreciate it and I _don't_ want to see it again."

Sitting at his desk, grading the papers, Chris tries to concentrate. Chace is quiet, head bent over his books. What makes it hard to concentrate is Sebastian.

Looking up from his desk, all he can see is Sebastian staring at him plaintively, sniffling, barely holding back tears. He’s biting his nails, his teeth worrying at his already ragged fingernails.

Even as mad at him as he is, he can’t help but feel sad to see him like this. It breaks his heart to see Sebastian like this. After only few seconds of staring at each other, Sebastian turns his head, looking away to look out the window next to him, slouching over his desk, head in his arms, trying to hide himself. But Chris can see him, he can see him wiping away tears in his sleeve, he can see him biting his arm though his hoodie to avoid making any noise.  
  
The only thing Chris wants to do is to rush to his desk and take Sebastian in his arm, but at the same time he’s still irritated by his earlier behavior. He still doesn’t get it. As hard as it is Sebastian worked to get his attention, why would he go and do something like this?  
  
He can’t concentrate, he has to re-read equations two or three times before correcting them. He looks up again to see Sebastian. He can see him crying, tears rolling on his cheeks, he’s not even trying to hold them back now. Only trying to not make any noise, biting his lower lip forcefully.

There's still more than a half hour left until detention is over. He can't very well dismiss them early, what kind of example would that set?

Rising from his seat, Chris makes a circle around the room, stopping first at Chace's seat. "Getting your homework done, Mr. Crawford?"

Chace nods, showing Chris his notebook. "I'm sorry again, sir, for earlier."

He seems sincere, so Chris nods. "Just don't let it happen again."

Moving on to Sebastian's desk, Chris' stomach is in knots. He's _still_ upset with Sebastian, but he hates seeing him this upset. _Why_ is he _this_ upset? Chris wonders.

He stops at Sebastian's desk, placing a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian flinches, but doesn't say anything, doesn't look at Chris.

Leaning in close, Chris squeezed Sebastian's shoulder. "Are you okay?" he whispers.

Sebastian doesn’t answer, still looking outside. Chris glances at Chace to make sure he’s working, and moves his hand over Sebastian’s back.   
  
“See me after,” he whispers so only Sebastian can hear, “ _Please_.” He strokes Sebastian’s back quickly, gently and walk back to his desk.   
  
He sits in his chair and sees that Sebastian hasn’t moved, not even a little. He’s wiping another tear with his sleeve. Chris starts wondering if he really did go _that hard_ on him to see him react this way. He’s such a mess. Chris doesn’t remember being that mean and angry. But maybe he’s wrong and he didn’t notice he was being a jerk. There has to be a reason, otherwise Sebastian wouldn’t be crying and looking so terrified. He swears he was almost shaking when he was next to him. Chris knows he can be intimidating when he’s angry, due to his size, but he wasn’t angry, just annoyed… Alright maybe a little more than just simply annoyed but he didn’t go that hard on him, did he? He doesn’t know anymore. Maybe he did.

The minutes tick by slowly and Chris swears the last half hour of detention takes at least three hours. Finally, the hands on the clock ticks to the next hour.

He doesn't want to seem like he's in a rush, but, well, he actually is. "Alright, time's up. You're free," he says.

Chace looks up, checking the clock for himself. He packs away his books and papers and walks towards Chris' desk.

"Have a good rest of your day, Mr. Crawford. I'll see you in class tomorrow. Without a repeat of today's shenanigans, I hope?"

Chace nods. "Yes, Mr. Evans, I'll see you tomorrow."

Chris barely waits until he's out the door to return to Sebastian's desk. Sebastian hasn't moved, other than the silent shaking of his shoulders. He doesn't seem to notice, or care, that Chris is beside him.

Placing a hand on Sebastian's shoulder again, Chris speaks softly. "Sebastian, hey. Please talk to me. I know you've been crying the whole time... I'm sorry if I upset you, but you really were acting like a jerk in class today."

Sebastian’s teeth chatter as he holds back a sob. He finally looks up at Chris, ever so slowly, nibbling the ragged edges of his fingernails. He looks like a scared puppy, a little kid.  
  
“’m,” he swallows. “I’m sorry.” His chin trembles. His voice is wrecked.   
  
Chris moves his hands, wants to touch Sebastian’s cheek, to comfort him but Sebastian stops him. “I wasn’t the only being a jerk.” He drops, bitter. His eyes are red, his cheeks are puffy, and his lower lip is swollen from where he’s been biting it.

"God, kid. I'm trying to apologize. You made me pretty mad and I let my temper get the best of me. I didn't mean to. Didn't want to scare you," Chris says, reaching for Sebastian's cheek again. It's risky, talking to him, touching him like this in the classroom, but he just can't stand to see him this upset anymore.

Sebastian stills, letting Chris brush his hand across his wet cheek. "I didn't deserve the way you talked to me," he says quietly, voice still thick with tears. Chris nods.

"I know, I know. I'm _sorry_. But Sebastian, you have to understand... I saw you, the way you were with Chace..." he stops, trying to get a read on Sebastian, but his face isn't giving anything away. "Listen, I don't care if you want to be friends with him, I just... I got jealous okay?"

Sebastian looks up now, his eyes finally meeting Chris'. "You were jealous?" he asks, sounding confused.

“Yes.” Chris confesses in a murmur. He can’t believe he’s about to say it but, “I was, _I am_ , I just… I saw you with him and,” he pauses to take a deep breath, “I got jealous because you two looked so,” his mouth forms really quick, disgusted smirk, “Close.”  
  
Sebastian is staring at him now, doesn’t seem to have any intention of talk so Chris keep going. “I guess I got scared of losing you, _still am_ , because he’s your age and—” He’s interrupted by Sebastian’s laugh. Chris wants to ask him what’s funny because he’s baring his soul right now and trying to solve the situation but he can’t say the same of Sebastian.   
  
Sebastian wears a weak smile. “You’re jealous? That’s what it was about?”

Chris can’t help but feel confused by Sebastian’s reaction. "Were you _trying_ to make me jealous?" He can't seem to figure out why Sebastian would do that.

"I was just talking with Chace," Sebastian says, wiping his sleeve across his face. "And you seemed to not like that," he continues. "And Chace was actually laughing at my jokes, so I just figured... I dunno, I thought you liked it," he said, smiling a tiny smile again, laughing quietly, some kind of relief evident in his voice.

"Seriously? And you think it's funny? You thought we were playing some kind of game?" Chris shakes his head. "I don't understand one last thing about you, Sebastian. I _like_ you, I really do. I'm risking my job by being involved with you, even if we never see each other again, what we've already done is more than enough... and I _thought_ you liked me too. That we had something. And you're sitting in my class, screwing with me, playing games?" Chris is fed up, he's gone from angry, to feeling bad for Sebastian, to angry again.

But Sebastian’s expression, his reaction takes him by surprise. He can see tears starting to form again, wetting his eyes. “Yes!” Sebastian almost yells. “Yes. It was a game,” he gestures wildly, unnecessarily over articulating his words. “And I thought you were playing too!”   
  
Chris wants to tell him to talk less loudly but Sebastian just keeps talking. “And then you got mad at me.” Chris can hear sobs coming, wants to try to talk again but Sebastian starts before he does. “I was maybe being a childish jerk but at least it was unintentional, _I_ didn’t try to hurt you.”  
  
Now that Chris has the opportunity to speak, he doesn’t have the words. That’s what Sebastian thinks? Why he’s been crying all this time? He thinks Chris tried to hurt him with his words?  
  
“I understand if you don’t want me anymore,” Sebastian adds.

It's stupid and it's risky, but Chris can't think of anything else to do. He grasps Sebastian's chin in his hands and brings their mouths together. It's not a rough kiss but it's not exactly gentle either. He just wants to show Sebastian that he _does_ still want him. That's why they're in this whole mess. Because he can't _stop_ wanting him. He can’t think of anything else to do, any other way to prove himself.

Sebastian doesn't fight him like he was expecting. Doesn't pull away.

Chris is nervous, hoping no one will walk in on them, hoping that Sebastian will understand what he's trying to show him. Hoping he'll understand that he does want him. More than anything.

He almost forgot how it felt to have his lips against Sebastian’s, and now they’re glued together, he wants more. He wants to open his mouth, wants to feel Sebastian’s tongue meeting his, but they can’t. Chris breaks the kiss in the seconds it takes to remember they’re at school and anyone could see them. He doesn’t pull away his hand though, letting it slide against Sebastian’s cheek. He looks so peaceful in this moment, pressing his face in Chris’s palm. Rubbing against it like a kitten. He opens his eyes when Chris starts talking quietly.  
  
“Don’t ever think again I don’t want you Sebastian.” Sebastian looks so vulnerable, so frail. “We’ll talk about all of this later. Somewhere more private, only the two of us. I promise I won’t get angry again... okay?” His voice is even and calm.

Sebastian nods.

“You should go home now.”

 Sebastian nods again.

Chris takes the risk to press his lips against Sebastian’s one more time, only for a second but it’s enough to make sure Sebastian is okay.

Sebastian wipes his face on his sleeve one last time as he gathers up his bag to leave. He never did get out his homework, he'll have to go home and finish it.

"Goodbye, Sebastian," Chris tells him, reaching for his hand as Sebastian walks towards the door. He catches Sebastian's fingers in his and gives them a small squeeze.

Sebastian's answer is quiet and clear. "Bye."

Before he leaves Chris calls out softly "Text me later, after you've done your homework, alright?"

"'kay," Sebastian says as he leaves.

And then Chris is alone. Heaving a deep sigh, he returns to his desk. What a mess today has been. He still feels awful, the whole thing had been a misunderstanding on both their parts... but Sebastian was the one in tears because he couldn't control his temper.

He gathers up the papers he still needs to correct and grade, hoping he can think straight at home. And hoping that Sebastian will text him like he promised.

* * * *

Hours pass without a text from Sebastian and Chris starts wondering if he should text first. He sets a deadline: if Sebastian hasn’t texted him before he finishes grading the last homework he’ll send a text. He still has four papers left. By the time he reaches the last one, his phone starts vibrating on the table. Chris reads on the screen that it’s a text from Sebastian and he rushes to open it.  
  
 **Hi…**  
  
Chris doesn’t know what he was expecting to read, but it was definitely not that. He starts wondering what he should reply to that. “Hi?” That’s just stupid. He types a few things but erases everything every time and after a minute or two he receives another text.  
  
 **I don’t know what to say… I just want to text you… Is that okay?**  
  
Chris smiles, of course it’s okay. He doesn’t know what to say either anyway. Doesn’t know either if he should bring the subject back of their conversation or wait for another day to talk about that. It’s probably a better idea to not talk about it today, and to bring the subject once they’re physically together, so he can comfort Sebastian. _Christ_ , remembering he was the reason behind the tears rolling on Sebastian’s face is enough to make him sad again.  He chooses to wait and reply with something lighter.  
  
 **I’m happy you texted me… We can talk about whatever you want, you can even send me nonsense words, I’ll just be happy to hear my phone buzzing because you want to talk to me.**

He hopes that made Sebastian laugh. Wonders what he's doing. Chris tries to finish grading the last papers while he waits for a response.

Just as he finishes, another text comes through.

**Sorry it took me so long to text you. I had to finish my homework first. And I couldn't start that till after I sat through my mom giving me the 3rd degree**.

Shit, of course his mother would have known he'd been crying.

**Are you okay? What did you tell her?**

So much for keeping things light. Sebastian's next text comes back immediately.

**I guess... I just told her I was upset because I had detention.**

A few second later another text comes

  **I'm glad you still want to talk to me at all. After everything.**

Don’t be idiot, that’s what Chris wants to write but he would surely not be a good thing to do.  
  
 **Of course I want to. Listen, I’m really sorry I talked to you the way I did, I was mad and I know it’s not an excuse, I should have never done that. It’s just… When it comes to you… I think you just… I don’t know, I can’t find the right words. Thing is, I reacted the way I did because I care about you, I care maybe too much and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I was afraid to lose you and I couldn’t handle that idea.**  
  
Chris doesn’t want to proofread himself before pressing the send button because he knows he might not send it if he does. He means what he wrote and wants Sebastian to know that. His phone vibrates again on the table only few seconds after.  
  
 **I care about you too…**

That makes him smile, and his phone buzzes again in his hand.

**Don’t stay mad at me, please… I never meant for the day to end like that…**

Chris pictures Sebastian, sitting in his room, sending him texts and still looking sad and near tears and it's nearly killing him.

**I'm not mad, not anymore. I tried to tell you, I was more jealous than anything, seeing you laughing with Chace like that. I don't think I could stay mad at you even if I wanted to.**

Chris' hands shake as he sends the text. As an afterthought he adds

**And I DON'T want to by the way. I'd actually like it if we could... kiss and make up.**

He sends the text before he can change his mind. It's amazing how affected he is by this, by Sebastian.

It's already been a long day and all Chris wants to do is forget most of it ever happened. He still hasn't eaten yet though, and he's trying to decide what he should do about that when Sebastian texts him back.

**Can I be honest with you…?**

What kind of question is that Sebastian, Chris thinks, obviously he can be honest.  
  
 **Of course, tell me what you want to say**.  
  
He admits he’s a bit scared of what Sebastian wants to confess, what if he wants to stop everything ?  
  
 **You promise me you won’t get mad...?**  
  
Well, that’s surely not helping his anxiety right now.  
  
 **I promise.**

He wants to know, needs to know. If Sebastian wants to stop he can’t blame him, after the way he talked to him today, what happened, he can totally understand…  
  
 **I kind of… Like the idea…Of you being jealous…**

Chris lets a quiet laugh escape his throat. Yes, he can understand that too.  
  
 **Yeah?**  
  
That’s a dumb answer Chris, he thinks. He could have done better than that but before he can think of something else to say Sebastian replies.

**Knowing you care about me that much… It makes me want to be yours. By that I mean completely yours, being in your arms…Being on top of you…Riding you…Your hands on my hips…**  
  
Well that’s an unexpected turnaround. He can’t say he doesn’t like it though. He’s ready to accept any kind of distractions, he just wants to leave that awful day behind.The image of Sebastian in his lap, riding him was surprising, but not unwelcome. And it's more than a little exciting.

He texts back, trying to compose his message quickly so Sebastian doesn't think he's said something wrong.

**You'd like that? That's really what you want? All you had to do was ask.**

Chris is nervous waiting for the reply.  He keeps rereading Sebastian's last text and the more he does, the more exciting he finds it. He’s not entirely sure if he likes the riding part better, or just the fact Sebastian said he wants to be completely his. But both are turning him on incredibly.His phone buzzes in his hand, startling him.

**Then I'm asking you. That's what I want. I want you to take me in your arms and make me yours. I want to feel your hands on me, all over me. And I want your cock inside of me.**

Chris' mouth goes dry when he reads Sebastian's words. Oh, he thinks. We're doing _this_ again. Not that he minds. He just might have to give up on his dinner _for now_ because this is way more interesting.  
  
 **You want my cock huh? You want to feel me deep inside? Stretching you open? Want me to control everything?**  
  
Chris feels surprisingly more confident about him than the first time they did this.  
  
 **I want to make you throw your head back because you’re enjoying it that much. I want to see your mouth open, you gasping for air. I want to see your eyes on me. Your hands on me, jerking me off. I want to hear you moaning because you love the way my hips move on you. I want to be completely responsible for your orgasm.**  
  
Well, fuck. That’s hot. That vision will haunt him forever now, and he can’t wait to see that happening. He doesn’t know when he started stroking himself, his hand in his pant. That’s the effect Sebastian’s words have on him, making him forget things.

Before he can think of a good reply, Sebastian texts him again.

**God yes, I want that, all of those things. And more. You promised you'd use your tongue on me too, open me up with it, lick me all over. All over.**

Chris hasn't forgotten he's promised Sebastian that. How could he when the very idea of it is enough to make him stroke himself faster. It takes him a bit longer to send his next message.

**I'll do that first, use my tongue on you, my mouth, get you so loose and wet and ready for me. Then I'll take you onto my lap and let you ride my cock. I'll be so deep inside of you, holding you close, stroking you. I'll make you feel so good you'll only be able to remember my name.**

Chris wonders if that last bit is too silly, but decides he doesn't care. His hand on his cock feels so good. Not as good as it would feel to have Sebastian here, but for now, he'll have to use his imagination. Sebastian hasn't responded yet so Chris sends another.

**Tell me how hard you are. Tell me how you're touching yourself, Sebastian.**

Sebastian replies seconds later, so fast that maybe he hasn’t read Chris’ second text yet.  
  
 **Fuck, I want your mouth, I want to feel your tongue, I want you to lick me. I want that Mr. Evans. I want it so bad. I’m so hard right now, I can’t stop thinking about that. I can’t wait for that. Please Mr. Evans I need to see you, I need it, soon. Please Mr. Evans, please, I’m begging you.**  
  
Chris bites his lower lip after reading that, imagining Sebastian begging, calling  his name like that, even through his screen it’s so hot. He wishes Sebastian was here with him, _oh he would do everything he wants._    
Chris types his text without completely analyzing what he’s saying in it.  
  
 **You like to beg baby? You want me to make you beg? You want me to tease you until you’re begging out of frustration?**

Wow, Chris doesn’t recognize himself at all. Sebastian is turning him on so much. He’s stroking himself harder, thinking about all of that, waiting for a reply, hoping what he said wasn’t too much.

He's almost too far gone to notice when Sebastian's next text comes. Almost, but not quite. He reads the message, forcing his hand to slow down.

**Yes. Yes, Mr. Evans. I'm so hard right now and I'm touching myself and I want to beg you, I want you to make me beg. I want to beg for your mouth and your cock. Please. Please... I want to come so bad. I'm all alone on my bed and I'm jerking myself off and I need you to make me come...**

Chris barely notices his hand starting to move faster around his cock again. He's too busy picturing Sebastian, hard and needy. Spread out and stroking himself. He replies as quickly as he can.

**Your mouth is so pretty when you beg me Sebastian. It's such a talented mouth too. Pretend it's me touching you. Imagine my cock is inside of you and my hand is stroking you and make yourself come. I want to make you come so hard you scream my name.**

Sebastian answers almost immediately.  
  
 **Mr. Evans…Please…**  
  
It’s almost like they’re really together right now, he can hear Sebastian beg. He remembers him begging in his bed, remembers his face when he came, the way his body was squirming under him. _Oh god,_ Chris is close to coming too, so he tries his best to reply.  
  
 **Come for me baby, think about me stroking you, fucking you, blowing you, and come. Can you do that baby?**  
  
He’s not totally sure he can wait for another text, he’s already so close, and Sebastian… Imagining him coming right now… he opens his mouth wider, breathing faster. Yeah he’s not going to last long, he can feel his orgasm rising.  There’s sweat beading on Chris' forehead and the hand holding his phone is trembling. When the phone vibrates  he can barely read the word on the screen, but as he focuses, he's so glad he can.

**I'm coming, Mr. Evans. God I need it so much. Need you so much...**

It’s so easy to picture Sebastian coming, that beautiful face full of pleasure. Stroking himself once more, twice and that's all it takes. He's coming, shooting in hot arcs all over his hand and stomach and it feels _so_ good. The only thing Chris can imagine that would be better is if Sebastian really was there with him.

His phone vibrates again, and he gasps reading Sebastian's words.

**I’m gonna think about this conversation in your class… You’ll look at me you will know what’s on my mind. How you made me beg by only texting me, how bad I want your tongue, how I want your cock inside me, how you made me come all over myself. And you can’t say a word, you can’t do anything but just looking at me thinking about it, and you’ll think about it too.**

_Oh god_ , It was already difficult to focus with Sebastian teasing him in class but now… It’s going to be so hard. He’s going to be so hard. If it’s going to be a habit to sext him like this, it’s going to make every tutoring session into something else. Speaking of which, they haven’t had any tutoring sessions lately. They had some since they agreed to a deal, more or less involving really tutoring, but also involving making out every time, and blowjobs most of the time, and Chris can’t help but think it’s too long since the last one.  
  
 **God baby, that’s so hot…**  
  
But Chris feels his text isn’t enough so he sends another one.  
  
 **How about having a tutoring session this week? There’s a few things I can help you with and apparently you need a hand.**

He can’t wait to read Sebastian’s answer, the kid is never too long to reply.  
  
 **It’s not a hand I need. But yes, yes that’s an amazing idea, I can’t wait for it, just tell me when.**

God, it's only the beginning of the week and Chris isn't sure he can survive many more days of Sebastian looking at him in class, making him think those things.

**When can you come?**

He immediately laughs at the innuendo he hadn't even meant.

**I mean, what days can you come to my house. Do you need to wait until the weekend? I don't want to get you into trouble with your mom.**

He sends his second message and cleans himself up while he waits. He's about to head to the kitchen to finally find some dinner when Sebastian texts him back.

**Tomorrow**  
  
Another text follows seconds after.  
  
 **I just can’t wait, I need it, I need you. I want you.**  
  
Oh well, tomorrow then. Chris is already all excited about it before he remembers.  
  
 **God…I forgot I have your class tomorrow morning… Christ Sebastian, It’s going to be so hard to focus.**  
  
Shaking his head, knowing now what Sebastian will be thinking about tomorrow, it’s already proving to be a distraction.

Sebastian replies making Chris chuckle.  
  
 **Good thing I don’t have to.**

This kid is driving him insane. His stomach gurgles, he really needs to eat something, so he sends another text opening his fridge.  
  
 **You’re such a tease, you know that ? Go to sleep baby, it’s late, and I want you in good shape tomorrow ;)**


	7. How Long Can You Stay?

By the next morning, when the class that includes Sebastian enters his room, Chris is already on edge. He can pretty much guarantee that Sebastian is going to do anything he can get away with, to tease him. And this time, Chris doesn’t think he would mind. Suffering through a class with Sebastian teasing him would be a lot easier to take knowing that they'd get to be together after school.

"Alright class," he says, once everyone is seated. "We're starting a new section today, so I need everyone to be focused and pay attention."

Before he turns towards the board, he catches Sebastian's eye and Sebastian takes that as a sign to lick his lips.

Feeling a curl of heat in his lower belly, Chris turns around and begins to explain the material they're going to cover.

Finishing the equation on the board, he turns to the class. "OK, there you have it, if you'll turn to page 278 we're going to do some of the practice problems. Are there any questions before we get started?" he asks.

Sebastian raises his hand, that familiar, mischievous smirk on his face. No one else has a question, so Chris nods at Sebastian. "Yes, Sebastian, you had a question about the work?" Making sure to specify it’s about work, he can never be too careful with Sebastian, not that he would mind a little teasing from him actually.

Sebastian licks his lips before he speaks. "Yeah, I do have a question _Mr. Evans_ , is this section going to be hard? Because I was watching the work you did on the board and it looked _hard_." He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, waiting for Chris to answer the question. Even with specifying the question was about class work, Sebastian found a way to tease him. No, really, Chris doesn’t mind a bit.

Chris makes a small, strangled sound. "Well, Sebastian, I think you'll find that if you listen to your teacher, things might be hard, but we can work through them."

Retreating to his desk, Chris sits down as the class begins to work. He scans the room, keeping an eye on all the students, watching for raised hands. And every time his eyes sweep past Sebastian, he seems to be watching Chris, waiting to bite his lip, or lick them.

It gets more obscene _every single time_. What started with just a quick lick or a quick bite is now much more suggestive. Sebastian opens his mouth, licks his teeth, roll his tongue in his mouth…Chris has to straighten himself, hoping there won’t be too many raised hands in the classroom.  He ends up helping three students before seeing Sebastian raising his hand too. _Oh god_ , he has to take a deep breath before walking towards Sebastian’s desk and the kid doesn’t look away from him for a second.  
  
“Yes Sebastian?” he asks, bending over Sebastian’s shoulder, one hand on the table, the other one on the back of Sebastian’s chair. That allows him to keep an eye on the whole class, but mostly allows him to breathe next to Sebastian’s ear.  
  
“I don’t get this one Mr. Evans, it’s too hard.” Sebastian grins, looking up at him. “I could use a hand,” he adds before sinking his teeth in his lower lip. They’re scanning each other faces, both looking for a reaction.  
  
“Well,” Chris tries to get his attention focus on the book and Sebastian’s notebook. Checking his previous answers, _bad idea_. Sebastian didn’t answer anything, he wrote _things_ instead, _incredibly dirty things_. The more Chris reads, the more he’s opening his mouth and gripping Sebastian’s desk tighter.   
  
This is wrong. So wrong. They’re in the middle of the class. _This so good._

He's wishing he'd carried a notebook or something with him around the classroom before walking back to see Sebastian. It would come in handy to help hide his growing erection.

He swallows, trying to figure out what he can say or do. Sebastian's smirking at him and it's driving Chris crazy being so close to him without being able to touch him.

"Sebastian," he says quietly. "Let me show you how you could easily solve this problem."

Pulling a pen out of his pocket, Chris starts writing a note of his own on Sebastian's paper.

He's got to make it sound convincing though. "See, Sebastian, if you approach the problem from this angle, I think you'll find that it's much easier to solve. Think of that as a _handy_ tip from your teacher."

Straightening up, he quickly walks back to his desk, watching for Sebastian's reaction to his own dirty little note.

Chris barely has the time to sit before Sebastian is looking at him, gawking. He can read the desire in Sebastian’s eyes. It’s going to be a long day after that.   
  
“Alright,” Chris starts talking. He won’t move away from his desk, not until his erection completely disappears. “Let’s correct the exercises.”   
  
He names three of his students to solve the problems on the blackboard **,** avoiding naming Sebastian. Not that he would have mind looking at him, his ass, while solving a problem, but he knows he didn’t even try to do the exercises. He was too busy frustrating him, so he won’t do that to him, even if it’s really tempting to be able to check out his ass, he’ll have the time to do a lot of things to it tonight. He’s reminded of the dirty texts they sent to each other, and what Sebastian said, what he wanted Chris to do and it’s not helping his growing erection. Now he’s just praying his students will struggle with solving the equations on the board so he has enough time to make it disappear. What kind of teacher he is, _oh god,_ he’s hoping for his students to struggle. He’s awful. What is Sebastian doing to him.   
  
Hopefully he has enough time before his students finish solving his equations.   
  
He corrects the only mistake he sees, and gives his class homework before the bell starts to ring. As usual, all the students rush to leave the classroom, and as usual Sebastian is the last to leave. He walks towards his teacher’s desk, looking as though he wants to say something but Chris interrupts him.  
  
“Do we still have a tutoring session tonight Mr. Stan?” He asks, glancing at the open door.

Sebastian groans quietly at the reminder. To anyone else it sounds like the frustrated groan of a student being forced to do extra work.

Chris knows better though, oh yes, it's a frustrated groan. But only frustrated because Sebastian is impatient and now he has to wait.

"Yes, Mr. Evans," he finally says. " _Tonight."_ Pushing his luck he leans close to Chris and whispers, "I'm looking forward to it, some of the work we did in class today was _very hard_." With one last smirk, Sebastian leaves the classroom.

Chris sighs, burying his head in his hands. It's going to be a long day. He already couldn't wait until later, but now the anticipation is even worse.

He’s not sure he has ever seen a day going this slow. Every ten minutes that passes seems to take an hour, but when the bell rings the end of his day, Chris starts getting even more impatient. He goes home and he’s already half-hard, trying to not think about Sebastian too much. He can’t stop checking the time. It hits him at some point— he’s behaving like a horny teenager.

When he finally hears someone knocking at his door, it takes him a lot to not rush to open it. Sebastian is here, at his door. Chris steps back to let him come inside.   
  
“I…“ He tries to speak but Sebastian rushes his lips against his and he can’t pull back. He grabs Sebastian’s face in his hands and kisses him back. So they won’t try to study today, they won’t even pretend to try. Good.

Somehow, he manages to move his hands away from Sebastian's face and close the door. Even as it slams shut, he's already touching him again. He's been wanting to touch him all day, and now there's nothing stopping them.

They haven't broken the kiss, Sebastian's lips, still on his, and his tongue now in Chris' mouth. It's hot and needy and Chris doesn't want it to stop. He can’t find any reason to stop.

Sebastian's hands are relentless, tugging and grasping at him. He feels a hand slide under the hem of his shirt and he shivers at the feel of Sebastian's fingers gliding across his skin.

Sebastian moans, a choked off sound that Chris swallows as they kiss.

Finally, Chris pulls away, just slightly. They're both breathing heavily and Sebastian's hands are still on his skin, toying with the waist of his pants.

"How long can you stay?" Chris asks. He wants to make sure there isn't a repeat of the timewhen Sebastian had to leave because of a phone call.

“Long enough,” Sebastian answers, pressing his lips against Chris’ again. He’s biting Chris lower lip, his hands are running on his chest, and it takes longer than Chris intends to speak again. He’s enjoying it too much, breaking the kiss is the most difficult thing ever at that moment.  
  
“Meaning?” he murmurs between kisses. They’re both already so eager and desperate for each other’s touch.  
  
“A few hours,” Sebastian speaks in his mouth.   
  
 _Great_. He’s sucking Sebastian’s tongue in his mouth, and it’s so hot. Sebastian grips his shirt and drags them both to the couch nearby. Before he can sit, Chris seizes his hip to make them switch position, so he’s the one in contact with the couch now. He sits and pulls Sebastian to him, making him straddle his lap.

Sebastian is kissing him with more focus than he uses on anything else; he’s concentrating and overwhelming, and Chris loves it.

He kisses back, enjoying the way Sebastian’s mouth feels on his before pulling back a centimeter or two to gasp in a breath then catch Sebastian’s lips again, tongue brushing the seam of them. Sebastian opens under his touch and makes a soft noise of something like surrender. He loves the feeling of Sebastian’s lips on his, their tongues together, but there’s so much more he wants too.

Breaking the kiss again, something that’s harder this time than before and it was already almost impossible, Chris strokes Sebastian’s back. “Tell me what you want, tell me how much you want me,” he urges him.

Sebastian moans, trying to find the words as Chris leans into his neck and begins nibbling at it. Sebastian moans louder as Chris bites and licks his way down his neck. He tugs at Sebastian’ shirt, urging Sebastian to take it off. Sebastian obliges all too willingly. He pulls it off clumsily, his arms getting tangled in the fabric. Once he manages to get free, he drops it on the floor next to the couch and Chris continues right where he left off.

“Please, please Mr. Evans… I want your hands on me, your mouth. I want your cock inside me. I want…”

Sebastian is already begging him and Chris has to say, he loves it. He works his way down Sebastian’s chest, licking and biting at his nipples, which makes Sebastian jump and moan loudly. He can feel Sebastian’s hard cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans. Just like he’s sure Sebastian can feel him.

The taste of Sebastian’s skin on his tongue, the tip of his nose ghosting Sebastian’s chest is glorious. He can feel a wave of chills consuming Sebastian. Just days, it’s only been a few days since they last enjoyed each other like this but it feels like an eternity, way too long.  
  
“Please I just, I…” Sebastian looks out of breath already. Moaning loudly at every kiss, every lick. Fuck, he has been waiting for this as much as Chris was, maybe even more.  
  
“Please what? What do you want baby?” Chris’ mouth is back on Sebastian’s neck, devouring it avidly. The vision of Sebastian from under, red cheeks, eyes closed, gasping for air, that’s enough to send a jolt right to his hard-on.  
  
Seeing he’s not getting any answer, placing a hand on Sebastian’s back, he throws him on couch, it’s not hard but it’s not gentle either. His body follows Sebastian’s and he lays above him, his legs spreading Sebastian’s. His lips make their way to Sebastian’s bare chest, not missing a bit of flesh. Circling his nipples, tracing the central line of his abdomen with his tongue and then his lips nuzzling his hip bones. His fingers open the button of Sebastian’s pants, before unzipping them.

Sebastian is wriggling, twitching. Chris can guess how hard he is though his underwear. Without being asked Sebastian lifts his hips, he’s the one asking, asking for Chris to undress him. Chris still doesn’t know  _what_  it was that he saw in Sebastian, made him want it, him, for his own. But even so…

He never expected this.

Never expected Sebastian to be so much. He’s bitten off more than he can chew, and it’s fantastic. Sebastian’s fantastic... Fuck, he’s in too deep and he can’t even find it inside himself to care when Sebastian’s hands find Chris’s hair, thread in and pull at him. Chris whines, low in his throat, and licks at the skin just above the waist of Sebastian’s boxers.

Sebastian keens, always so sensitive, and Chris really,  _really_ wants to see what kind of noises he can wring out of him. Already his cheeks are flushed, his teeth working at his bottom lip, noisy and needy. Chris suddenly craves it.

When Chris tugs at his boxers, pulling them down, revealing Sebastian’s hard cock, it’s all he can do to make himself go slowly. He still wants to take his time, be careful with Sebastian. It’s funny to notice a part of him just wants to fuck him right here, right now, because he’s _so_ excited and impatient, but the other part, the more important one, just wants to stay gentle and tender, and not be selfish. _God,_ he just wants to make Sebastian feel so good. He cares more about making Sebastian feel good than pleasing himself.

Chris leans forward licking at the straining erection Sebastian’s presenting him with. His hands return to Sebastian’s hips, caressing the bare flesh, stroking skin, touching, wandering from hip to hip.  It’s easy and it’s good, so good, to use his tongue on Sebastian. To give him what he’s been asking for. But Chris wants to _hear him_ ask for it.

He presses the tip of his tongue to Sebastian’s cock, slowly sliding against it, moving lower, stopping just before reaching his balls. He keeps stroking his belly, waiting for a reaction, one he obtains incredibly quickly. Sebastian elevates his hips abruptly.  
  
“I thought you wanted to beg,” Chris teases him, speaking so close to his erection, his breath warming it. He knows it’s making Sebastian lose his mind. “So beg,” he adds before seductively giving him a lick.  
  
He isn’t long to answer. Sebastian groans, “Please, _oh please_ , Chris, please _Mr. Evans_.”   
  
“Please what? What do you want Sebastian?” he growls. It’s teasing him as much as it’s teasing Sebastian, he just wants put his mouth on him, to taste him completely but he wants to push Sebastian more. He wants to make him beg out of frustration.  
  
“You,” Sebastian cries out. “Your mouth, please I need your mouth on me.” Chris can tell he’s trying to breathe correctly but that it’s not easy.  
  
It’s hot, it’s getting too hot. Chris leaves a long kiss on the curve of Sebastian’s hip and then straightens up, to get rid off his shirt, throwing it across the room.

He drags his mouth down Sebastian’s thigh in an open-mouthed kiss, his tongue tracing patterns into his skin.  Leaning down to lick at his hole, he swirls his tongue in lazy circles around the ring of muscle before pushing in slightly. The way that Sebastian is panting and squirming causes heat to pool in his stomach, and he’s so turned on it’s hard to keep from touching himself, but he wants this to be about Sebastian.

Chris ghosts a breath over Sebastian’s neglected cock and Sebastian actually whimpers. He’s reveling in this, the power he has to reduce Sebastian to a whimpering mess with just his mouth. He pulls back, leaning up to lick a hot stripe up his cock.

Chris looks up to see Sebastian writhing in pleasure, and can’t help but smile. The dark-haired boy is talking non-stop, unintelligible words are falling so fast and loose from his mouth. And it’s all because of him.

Chris leans back in, tongue tracing a path from the tip of his cock to the base, less a broad lick than tiny flicks of his tongue until he gets to Sebastian’s hole. It's already twitching in anticipation so Chris rewards it with a few thorough licks. 

When his tongue presses in deeper and Sebastian’s ass tilts up to meet him, Chris does it again, Sebastian lets out a shy “please.” Which Chris takes to mean he wants more.

His hand strokes Sebastian’s thigh, keeping him calm. He can sense Sebastian’s body contracting at the contact of his tongue. Chris grabs both of Sebastian’s thighs in his hands, encouraging Sebastian to fold his legs completely, so he can reach his hole more easily.  
  
He’s teasing him again. Alternating quick licks, and longer ones. Sebastian is pushing against him, against his wet tongue. He can hear Sebastian moan and feel his body shudder, twitch. Even he’s shaking a little.   
  
Chris’ hands desert Sebastian’s thigh to reach his dick, caressing it gently, trying to make him a little more comfortable with his tongue in him.  
  
“Fu-uck,” Sebastian says, throwing his head back. “God, oh please Mr. Evans.” He’s begging, his voice is raw and it goes straight to Chris’ cock. He’s not sure he can be harder than he is now, he’s painfully compressed in his jeans, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t care for now. Sebastian panting, shivering and begging him is a lot more interesting.

Chris moans, hot against Sebastian’s skin. He wants to talk to him now, wants him to know this is what he’s been thinking of, dreaming of, for the past few days.

“You like this, don’t you. My tongue on you, my mouth. Licking you open?” He punctuates each word with a flick of his tongue against Sebastian’s sensitive flesh.

“Mmm, _yes_ ,” comes Sebastian’s wrecked voice.  “Please, please…” he begs.

Chris licks back in, slower this time, savoring the noises Sebastian makes. He sucks lightly and lavishes the slightly loosened hole, fluttering his tongue over the opening.

Chris’s entire body clenches as Sebastian moans. Sebastian’s thighs are shaking, trembling with every swipe of Chris’s tongue.

He reaches up, grasping Sebastian’s cock again, curling his fingers around it. Running his thumb along the tip, he’s rewarded with slick drops of pre-come.

Chris’ own cock is aching, pressing uncomfortable against his pants, asking for attention. “Tell me what you want, Sebastian,” he asks, keeping his mouth close Sebastian’s skin, letting him feel his breath. “Tell me, because I’m so hard for you right now it’s driving me crazy.”

Sebastian grabs Chris’ hair and gently pulls, directing him back to his face. He’s looking at Chris directly in the eyes and Chris keeps stroking his cock. “You, I want you, so bad, _please,_ ” he’s breathes every word. He’s whining and his hands are desperately trying to undress Chris clumsily. “Please, please, please,” he’s begging him hastily. Every word he breathes sends Chris a little more out of his mind.

Chris wants to keep things slow, and gentle, but it’s easier said than done. It’s much harder when Sebastian hands are reaching his cock, his head hiding in his neck, biting at his skin. Chris helps Sebastian by undressing himself, throwing his pants and underwear over his shoulder because Sebastian takes them both off at the same time. He wants to do more, there’s so many things they talked about, so many things he wants to try. _God_ , remembering that Sebastian wants to ride him, wants Chris to take him on his hands and knees… it’s more than enough to make him lose his mind completely. 

Not that his couch isn’t comfortable, but he doesn’t have any lube or condoms or anything in his living room and hell he’s never going to fuck Sebastian like that, first not without preparing him and surely not without lube. And even if he trusts Sebastian and he knows he trusts him back, not without a condom either. That’s something they’ll need to talk about, but later, not now.

Chris rises up, off the couch, tugging Sebastian with him. “Bedroom, now,” is all he says.

Sebastian’s eyes darken and he bites his already swollen lip, following Chris willingly.

They barely make it to the bed before Sebastian’s hands are on him again, touching, groping.

The look of pure want on Sebastian’s face almost sends Chris over the edge. Trying to control himself, he plants kisses down Sebastian’s heaving chest. Sebastian squirms beneath his touch and whimpers, “M… more, please… Chris… Mr. Evans.” He’s panting now, his eyes closed and mouth open.

Pushing Sebastian back onto the bed, he encourages him to fold up his legs again. It’s hard not to just get the condom and lube and fuck Sebastian right then and there, but he did promise to make him clutch the sheets and cry out his name.

He pushes Sebastian’s legs apart and back, his mouth descending once more to Sebastian’s exposed hole to lap at the fluttering ring of muscle there. He starts with broad, flat swipes of his tongue, quickly moving on to circling the rim, continuing with teasing licks and swipes.

He gets so lost in what he’s doing that it takes Sebastian making a  sound, high and needy, to shift his focus. Lightly stroking Sebastian’s cock, Chris sees that he has made him clutch the sheets. Sebastian’s fists are balled around handfuls of cotton and the look on his face is absolutely sinful.

“Tell me how you want me to fuck you,” he asks. “Tell me, Sebastian. Because if I don’t get to fuck you soon I’m going to explode.”

Sebastian’s moan is lewd, dirty, obscene. That’s the power Chris has over him, he’s literally making him lose control, and _fuck,_ he’s loving this so much.   
“Tell me” he asks again, out of breath. Sebastian is shaking, and Chris knows he won’t get any answer, so he moves his face back closer to Sebastian’s, and strokes his cock very slowly. “Tell me,” he whispers.

Sebastian opens his eyes when he hears him practically whispering into his ear. “I just want you inside me _please, Chris_.”

He’s so please and proud of himself right now, seeing how needy Sebastian is. Because of him. He kisses Sebastian’s collarbone many times, tracing his bone. Then moves on all fours to reach his nightstand and pull what he needs out of the drawer, coming back as quickly as he can to Sebastian, whining and urging him to go faster.

Chris takes a squirt of lube in his hand, and moves his fingers near Sebastian’s hole. He starts teasing him, circling it, pressing gently. Kissing his chest at the same time. Looking at him, he’s so beautiful.  
Sebastian pushes against his hand, forcing Chris’ fingers inside him. He winces in pain and whines quietly. Chris stops the second he hears him, removes his fingers and stares at Sebastian. “Shh,” he says as he kisses Sebastian’s cheek gently.

“It’s—” Sebastian tries to speak.

“Too soon,” Chris ends his sentence, “It’s okay. Not your fault, it’s mine.” He keeps kissing Sebastian’s skin, moving down to his neck, trying to reassure him. That was the reminding he needed. God damn it Chris, he thinks. He’s letting his desire taking over his self-control and he shouldn’t.

He goes slowly, letting Sebastian get used to the feeling of just one finger.  He doesn’t move it at first, just holds it there, kissing Sebastian’s chest and neck again. Doesn’t move it until he feels Sebastian move.

Sebastian’s rolling his hips under Chris, only slightly, but it lets Chris know that he’s okay. It’s his cue to move, slowly sliding that one finger back out, then in again. He keeps this up until Sebastian is moaning again, waiting for more. That’s when he adds the second finger.

It’s only a short time, his two fingers thrusting slowly into Sebastian before he hears him whine. "More, please give me more".

Sebastian pushes against his fingers again, only this time there’s no wincing in pain. He’s looking at Chris with those expressive eyes and spectacular mouth as he tries to fuck himself on Chris’ fingers. It’s alluring, the way he moves, begs, adjusts so fast. The way he was clearly waiting for it and he’s asking for more already. Sebastian is so needy and impatient and it’s so fucking beautiful.

“You just can’t wait, can you,” Chris breathes. He kisses up Sebastian’s side, across his chest, down again, distracting him with little licks and nibbles as he adds a third finger.

And when that third finger presses into Sebastian, the sound he makes nearly kills Chris.

That sweet noise of pure pleasure and delight makes him lick his lip before biting it. But he doesn’t rush, not this time. He can still hear Sebastian whining in pain and he doesn’t want to hear that ever again. He lets Sebastian direct the situation, fucking himself, choosing his own rhythm. All Chris can do is look at Sebastian, his whole body moving, his hard nipples, his erection that Chris hastens to stroke because he’s neglected it for too long.

“Chris...” he hears Sebastian moaning while he’s lifting his hips in the air. “Please.”

He raises a fourth finger, waiting to see if Sebastian takes it, if that’s what he wanted, what he needed.

“Chris please.. I want you.” Sebastian is looking at him now, almost biting his lip, just letting his teeth sweep over it. Chris kisses his chest, lick his nipple, and move up to his neck before kissing it as well. His hand reaches the box of condoms he tossed onto the bed earlier. Lying on the bed next to Sebastian, he unrolls the condom over his erection.

Sebastian rolls on top of him. So that’s what he wants to do, Chris thinks as Sebastian drops kisses on his neck, on his chest, his abs, while sitting on top of him. The tip of Chris’ cock presses against his hole.  
“Take your time” Chris whispers, one hand wandering on Sebastian’s hips and thighs, the other one holding his cock still to ease Sebastian. His eyes are closed, trying to concentrate, or maybe trying to avoid Chris’ gaze, feeling vulnerable. 

Sebastian does take his time, impaling himself on Chris very slowly and it’s _so hard_ to not help him, not even make the slightest movement. 

“You’re doing great baby,” he reassures him, still stroking his thighs affectionately with both of his hands now. Looking at him tenderly. Sebastian looks so weak and exposed. Chris moves one of his hands to Sebastian’s dick, trying to get him focus on something else.

It takes him a moment to finally take Chris almost completely. His hands reach Chris’ and he threads their fingers, pushing Chris’ hard cock deeper inside. Sebastian finally opens his eyes and looks down at him.

Chris can tell from Sebastian’s clumsy movements that it’s the first time he’s doing this. It’s the first time he’s riding someone, and just to _know_ he’s the first one, that makes him bite his lower lip. That and the vision of Sebastian, so beautiful, above him.

“Chris…" Sebastian drops his head back as his hips roll, finally finding a rhythm.

Almost automatically, Chris loses himself in the intense pleasure. "Sebastian…” he calls back to him, his voice a moan as he runs a hand over Sebastian’s back, holding him close. His other hand is on Sebastian’s cock, not really stroking, just squeezing, gently curling his fingers around the hard shaft. He knows, he can tell from the look on Sebastian’s face that it won’t take much to make him come. “ _Sebastian_ ,” he says again.

“Don’t say my name like that." Sebastian begs, his body trembling. "You can’t just say my name like that…”

Chris lets out a strangled whine as Sebastian just keeps riding him. This is almost better than the first time they did this, they’re closer, more intimate. And it’s so fucking hot knowing that Sebastian’s never done this before, not like this.

Sebastian is still so tight, Chris feels his cock stretching him out, but Sebastian seems to be getting used to the stretch and burn. He’s not just used to it, he loves it.

Bringing a hand up to Sebastian’s neck, Chris focuses on the sweaty sweep of Sebastian’s hair as he holds on to the nape of his neck.

Sebastian’s fingers splayed around his waist, every slow roll of his hips a form of sweet torture.

“Chris... Aaah,” Sebastian whimpers as he rolls his hips a little faster.

It’s still not rapid movements but it’s so damn good. Sebastian’s eyes are closed again and his teeth are sunk into his lower lip, his mouth wide open. It’s fucking hot, the way he’s moving, his face. _God_ , Sebastian may be clumsy but he’s not terrible at all. And the way his body is shivering and shaking and contracting… 

“Chris, _god_ , I’m…I’m gonna come, _please_.” Most of his words aren’t even audible but Chris hears the important parts.

“Chris, _please_ ,” Sebastian wails, moving his hips as much as he can, up and down. Chris starts caressing his erection in answer and Sebastian’s body arches.

Chris knows he won’t last long either, feeling his cock thrusting in and out and in and out again, when he’s not even responsible for it, it’s driving him insane. Just a few more rolls of his hips and he can sense Sebastian reaching his orgasm before hearing it. Chris needs to thrust once or twice because Sebastian stops moving and it’s torture. Sebastian’s whole body contracts and he’s nibbling his own lip as he makes that divine sound and he’s spilling out come on his chest, on both their chests.

That's what sends Chris over the edge, the feeling of Sebastian clenching around him, the look of pure ecstasy on his face as he comes all over them.

"F-uck, Sebastian," he groans, drawing out his name.

Sebastian is still trembling, still on that intense high, but he digs his fingers into Chris' back at the sound of his name from his teacher's lips.

Chris' hips thrust upward and he's coming, it's so intense and he's been waiting to be inside Sebastian like this for so long that it's hard to breathe through it.

Sebastian's fingers still clutch weakly at his back, and Chris draws his arm around him, holding him tightly. He can feel Sebastian's breath, soft and ragged against his shoulder as the boy buries his face against Chris' skin.

It feels like an eternity before he can make his tongue move, form words. "Sebastian," he whispers. "You were amazing. That was so hot. _You_ are so hot." He plants a kiss on the side of Sebastian's head, trying to catch his breath. His fingers wander softly over Sebastian’s back.

He hears a shy laugh in response, and they’re soon staring at each other, like that, without a word, until Sebastian breaks the silence, speaking softly. “It feels good... being in your arms.”

Chris tightens his embrace and rubs his nose against the side of Sebastian’ forehead. “It feels good to have you in my arms.”  
  
Sebastian stretches and sighs, before complaining. “I’m so sticky,” he says, staring at his own come covering his body.  
  
“Well, that’s not surprising,” Chris chortles. The sight of Sebastian trying to clean himself with his fingers is one of the most hilarious thing ever. “Do you want to take a shower?”  
  
“Only if you join me.” Suddenly, the shy clumsy boy has completely disappeared and he’s wearing that cocky smile again.  
  
There’s something about him, Chris can’t define what exactly, it’s certainly not just one thing, but there’s something about Sebastian that he finds irresistible.

He helps Sebastian off his lap, removing the condom and tossing it into the trash.

"Alright, sure," Chris says. "My shower's not the biggest, but I think we can both fit."

He starts towards the bathroom and Sebastian follows. "Well, I _am_ smaller than you," Sebastian says with a laugh.

Chris turns the shower on, letting the water run warm before he steps in. Sebastian hangs back, watching Chris under the warm streams of water.

"You coming in?" Chris asks, holding out a hand.

Sebastian nods, reaching for Chris' hand before stepping into the warm water.

They stand there, under the spray for a moment, both trying to figure out exactly what to do.

Finally Sebastian snakes an arm past Chris, picking up a bar of soap. He holds it out to Chris, wearing that cocky smirk again. "Will you wash me?" he asks.

Chris smiles back at him, taking the soap out of his hand, making it foam in his hands a little before sliding it aside. He puts his hands on Sebastian’s chest, brushing at first and then caressing him. His tongue ghosts across his lower lip and his eyes land on Sebastian.

He smiles timidly when Chris fingers touches his nipples. Chris’ hands slides lower, to his ribs and then grabbing his hips, moving down to his buttocks, pulling him closer, wrapping him in his arms.   
  
He buries his face in Sebastian’s neck, kissing him gently, ascending to his jaw, and his ear.  
  
“You’re beautiful,” Chris murmurs.

"You keep saying that," Sebastian says, kissing Chris's neck.

"What, that you're beautiful?"

Sebastian nods.

"Well, you are," Chris assures him. They aren't really showering, just standing together under the warm water.

"No one's ever said that, called me that before," Sebastian tells him.

Chris finds that hard to believe. Sebastian really _is_ beautiful. Dark hair, blue eyes, that gorgeous mouth. "Well, then I'm honored to be the first," Chris says. He can't help but wonder what else he's been the first with, with Sebastian. He certainly acts like he's got some experience, but in some ways, he's so innocent.

Chris leans down, pressing a kiss along Sebastian's jaw, pulling him closer.

He doesn’t want to bring that subject up, doesn’t want to upset Sebastian by asking questions he might not like. Surprisingly Sebastian is the one bringing that subject into their conversation.  
  
“How about you? Did someone ever…called you that?” It’s a clumsy and maladroit question, and he can guess Sebastian feels dumb for asking it.  
  
“You mean, besides my mom?” Chris tries to joke, but Sebastian looks away. He apparently didn’t appreciate the answer and Chris’ attempts to joke. He wasn’t trying to mock him for asking this, so Chris grabs his chin and makes him look at him. “What do you want to know? You can ask me.”

He can answer his questions, he can be honest, he wants to. He wants Sebastian to feel comfortable with him, to know him. He wants him to feel free to ask him questions,to put the whole Teacher/Student thing aside. Sebastian just stares at him quietly while he tries to formulate his thoughts.  
  
“What was your question about? If I ever had any real relationships?” Chris tries to speak softly, helping Sebastian as he doesn’t seem to be able to find the proper words to use. There's no reason not to be honest. So he tells Sebastian the truth. "I've had boyfriends before," he shrugs as if it's not a big deal, he doesn't want Sebastian to misunderstand. "I guess... I guess you could say I prefer a serious relationship over a fling."

He smiles, trying to keep the conversation light. Sebastian nods thoughtfully.

"I've been too busy lately, it's been awhile since... since I've been with anyone. More than a year. Until you," he says, brushing the hair off of Sebastian's forehead.

The water is already starting to grow cooler and Chris realizes he doesn't know how soon Sebastian has to be home. "Listen, let's get out and get dried off and dressed. And, Sebastian, please don't ever be afraid to ask me questions. I'm not going to get angry. I think it's only fair we get to know each other better."  
  
Sebastian nods. But no matter what he seems to say, Sebastian still looks pensive.   
  
Chris reaches his arm out of the shower and grabs his toothbrush and toothpaste. Sebastian just looks at him awkwardly, raising an eyebrow. Chris smiles and starts brushing his teeth quickly.  
He turns back and spit the paste and looks up opening his mouth to take water in it, before spitting it out as well. Putting his toothbrush and toothpaste in their usual spot, he takes Sebastian’s face in his hands. 

“I wanted to do that for too long,” he justifies himself, before pressing his lips against Sebastian’s. The fresh minty taste invades Sebastian’s mouth as he opens it to welcome Chris’ tongue. It’s a really sweet kiss, not brutal but still passionate.  
  
“C’mon, let’s get out” Chris says after a moment, starting to feel the colder water flowing down his back.

He shuts off the water, reaching out of the shower again for a towel. He hands one to Sebastian, "It's clean, I promise," then grabs one for himself.

He makes quick work of drying himself off, but Sebastian seems to be moving in slow motion.

Hanging his towel back on the rack, Chris grabs the corners of Sebastian's towel. "Hey," he says, dipping his head to meet Sebastian's eyes. "Everything alright?"

Sebastian shoots him a strange look, but doesn't say anything. Instead he yanks the towel back from Chris and finishes drying himself.

Chris watches him, unsure what's going on between them right now. "Sebastian," he says, taking the towel from him. "Let's not turn this into a bad day, huh. It's been amazing so far, I'd really like to keep it that way."

He steps out of the bathroom and starts to look for his clothing before he remembers that it's all in the living room.

Sebastian follows him out and they both start to dress. Sebastian is still being unusually quiet.

"Hey, kid, listen. If you're upset because... because I've dated other guys, please don't be." He doesn't know how sincere that sounded, even though he's trying to be reassuring. "I'm not with any of them now. Right now, it's you. Just you. And I'm telling you the absolute truth when I say that there is something about you... I don't know what it is, but it's _you_ , Sebastian. I'm glad it's you here with me."

He finally obtains a shy smile from Sebastian, but as fast as the smile appeared, it’s replaced with a sad, pensive look. “But for how long…” He looks straight up at Chris, an half horrified half heartbreaking expression across his face, the words escaping his mouth before he realizes he’s said them aloud.  
  
“Why do you say that?” It doesn’t even sound mean or accusatory but Chris, seeing Sebastian gritting his teeth, feels the need to add “Sebastian, baby?”  
  
Chris doesn’t know how to react, what is he insinuating? Doesn’t he believe him? Or maybe he doesn’t feel the same way. _Oh no_ , here comes the red, wet eyes again. Chris steps closer, testing Sebastian’s reaction. When Sebastian doesn’t move away as he come closer, Chris keeps walking.

Sebastian gives a sharp laugh that sounds like he's barely holding back tears. "I just wondered," his voice cracks with emotion. "Never mind," he says with a shake of his head. He's on his feet, and looking towards the door, eyes still shining with unshed tears.

Chris grabs for Sebastian's wrist. "Hey, Sebastian, please. Baby, please. You've got to talk to me, I'm not a mind reader." What in the hell has this kid been through that's got him acting like this?

He tries again when Sebastian doesn’t answer, doesn’t move. "Sebastian. Look at me, if you couldn't tell, I'm crazy about you. We wouldn't be here right now if I felt any other way. I can't get enough of you, and you have to believe me when I say that."

“Those are just words...” he spits out, his tone bitter, eyes still looking to the door.  
  
“Damn it, Sebastian!” Chris almost yells, but calms himself as quickly as possible, lowering his voice. Speaking more calmly. “Just words? I’m risking everything to spend time with you, and I’m not complaining about it, I want to be with you. What proof do you need more? Tell me. Tell me ‘cause I’ll do it. Just ask me anything, I’ll do it.”

He’s not sure what his reaction is made of. Chris feels so many emotions at once, he’s frustrated, sad, anxious, upset, angry and disturbed. And now Sebastian is crying, a first tear rolling down his cheek, a second one follows right after. Chris doesn’t know if it’s what’s going through his mind that’s making him cry, or if it’s the fact he raised his voice, but his heart hurts when he sees the tears on Sebastian’s face. What in the hell happened to him to make him such a mess.

Cupping Sebastian’s face in his hands, he whispers firmly, “Sebastian baby, talk to me.” Chris is asking, he’ll beg if he has to. He’s not going to let it go, not this time. They need to have a discussion. “Why don’t you believe me? Why would that just be words? Tell me…”  
  
Sebastian is still not responding, still crying… Chris can’t help but think about the worse scenarios possible. “Baby did someone _hurt you_?” His heart breaks at this question; he’s scared of what Sebastian will answer, not convinced he wants to hear what he has to say, but he’ll have to hear it, because it’s clearly something affecting Sebastian deeply and if there’s a way he can help, he won’t hesitate.

Chris pulls Sebastian towards him, onto the couch, so they're close, but still facing each other. He wants to get Sebastian to open up about this. It's not doing either of them any good the way things are. Sebastian closes himself off, cowers in his shell, refusing to look at him or to speak. And now Chris is really thinking the worst.

"Sebastian," he says softly, cupping the boy's chin in his hand, lifting his gaze upward. "Tell me, please."

Sebastian's tears roll down his cheek, unchecked. He doesn't try to wipe them from his face as his bottom lip quivers. Finally, after a moment of silence, he speaks. "My last _boyfriend_ ," he spits the word out like it's poison. "My _only_ boyfriend," he laughs bitterly, through his tears.

Chris' heart sinks, this isn't going to be a pretty story. His thumb strokes Sebastian's cheek softly. With his other hand, he finds Sebastian's. They're clutched together in his lap and he forces his in between them, just holding his hand there for Sebastian to touch, to give him something to hold on to. "What happened?" he asks, half-afraid of the answer.

"I'm an idiot, that's what happened," Sebastian whispers. Chris wants to reply but he doesn’t, and Sebastian doesn’t let him the time to anyway. “I fell for words.” He looks away, trying to avoid Chris’ face. “Fell for his words,” he laughs painfully.  
  
Chris squeezes his hands, caresses his cheek soothingly. “He hurt you pretty bad, didn’t he?” he says with compassion.  
  
“Yeah,” Sebastian snorts. “I looked for it I guess.” He buries his face in his hands, leaving Chris’ hand alone on his lap.

Chris’ other hand has moved to Sebastian’s back, stroking it gently. Chris isn’t sure he wants to hear more, it will probably fill him with murderous intent, but Sebastian looks like he needs to spill his guts. The hand that was on Sebastian’s lap is on his forearm now. He wants to make sure Sebastian doesn’t feel alone.  
  
“I don’t know the story, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t.” He wants to hug him, this kid has so many things buried deep down. Nobody should have that much to live with, and he doesn’t even know anything yet.

Sebastian shakes his head vehemently. "I did. It was my fault because why would anybody want to actually be with me? I mean for real."

He's asking rhetorical questions, not giving Chris time to answer, even if he _had_ an answer.

"I thought I was special, he was special. I just... he told me he liked me, that he wanted to be with me. And I was stupid enough not to notice that we could never go anywhere together. And, god, I just wanted someone to kiss me, to... you know?" He looks at Chris, tears still in his eyes. "I was good enough for him to fuck me a few times and then he decided that I was disgusting and he told me he wasn't even... that he didn't..." Sebastian's words are strained, he sounds near hysterical.

Chris shushes him, dragging Sebastian into his arms, hugging him. One hand on his back and the other one stroking his hair. “It’s okay… Shhh…” He rocks Sebastian in his embrace. He can’t stand to see him like this. His thumb wipes Sebastian’s tears away, still rubbing his back with the other hand. Sebastian, collapses in his lap, tears flowing freely. “I’m here baby, shhh.”  
  
He was right, he does want to murder someone now.   
  
“You’re not stupid, he played and you’re not stupid because you believed him,” he tells Sebastian softly, trying to calm him. To calm himself too. They stay like that a few minutes, Sebastian hiding, burying his face in Chris’ chest, and Chris rocking him.  
  
He grabs Sebastian’s chin in his hand and makes him lift his face up to look at him. He presses his lips briefly against Sebastian’s, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand.  
  
“I’m not him. I’m not leaving you, and if I have to prove myself to you, I’ll do it, but don’t transfer your anger for him on me,” Chris whispers. “And believe me he’d better never cross my path or he won’t like it.” He smiles weakly, because he’s not lying about that.

Sebastian's voice is barely above a whisper. "I'm not angry at you, I just get scared, you know?" He looks at Chris with those sad eyes and it's nearly enough to make him cry too.

"I really like you a lot, Chris," he says. "I guess you probably figured that." A tiny smile ghosts across his lips at his attempt at humor. "It's just not easy for me to believe someone again."

Inside, Chris is still seething, that someone could be so cruel to someone so sweet. He shakes his head. "Listen to me. I will always be honest with you. I expect the same from you, but the important thing is that you know I'm not like that. I won't do that to you."

Sebastian looks at him then as if he almost believes him.

That's all he can ask for right now. At least he has some idea now, why Sebastian acts the way he does sometimes. Chris presses his lips to Sebastian's again, kissing him gently.

“I’m sorry I ruined everything, _again_ ,” Sebastian whispers against his mouth.  
  
“ _Don’t_.” Chris stares at him. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

He tries to comfort Sebastian but he interrupts him. “I did, and I’m sorry.”

Chris can only shake his head and kiss Sebastian one more time.   
  
“I should probably go,” Sebastian says, straightening himself, getting up on his feet. “It’s getting late.” He coughs, trying to regain his normal voice, to not sound like he’s been upset and crying.

Chris watches him looking for his shirt that was still laying on the floor from earlier today. He can’t fight the smile on his face remembering what happened earlier, before all of this.

Noticing his smile Sebastian returns it.   
  
It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t have Sebastian’s class tomorrow because he needs to breathe a little, think about all this, about how he got involved in this. Not that he wants to walk out; he just needs to think about it.

Chris walks him to the door. "Listen, you really are going to have to work on that math stuff, you know, from class today. I know we don't have a class together tomorrow, but text me if you get stuck on it, alright?"

Sebastian grins, obviously remembering the things he wrote down on his paper instead of the math work. He seems to take Chris seriously though. "Sure, I will." he says, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I'll see you..." he trails off, looking to Chris for an answer.

"The day after tomorrow, when we have class." He smiles. He's hoping Sebastian won't pout over that. Luckily, he returns Chris' smile with another of his own.

"I'd better go, I don't want my mom to worry about me," Sebastian says. His hand is on the doorknob and he pauses, looking up at Chris.

Chris leans in and kisses him goodbye, slotting their lips together, it's not a brief kiss but it's nothing leading either.

Sebastian is the one to break the kiss, grinning now. "Goodnight," he tells Chris. "I'll text you when I get home, let you know I made it safe, yeah?"

"Sure kid," he answers. "Night."

Chris watches Sebastian leave, and feels relieved that this time he's not leaving in tears. He closes the door and rests his forehead against the smooth wood. Jesus, even knowing more about Sebastian, the kid was still a mystery.

He finally takes a deep breath and turns to watch the mess they’ve made of the living room, cushions on the floor, laying next to his pants—oh right he’s only wearing his shirt and his underwear. But it’s nothing compared to the bedroom. Sweaty sheets, forming a ball at the edge of the bed, half-falling from it. Condoms spread out of their box, the bottle of lube still open, luckily not flowing.  
  
It was definitely not as gentle as Chris thought it was.   
  
He tidies up a little and starts preparing his diner. He wants a cigarette and he has to work on his lessons for the next day but his stomach is rumbling. He’s hungry, not surprising after the afternoon he just spent. He hasn’t eaten much the last few days, so he wants more than a light meal. When he’s almost finished with his dish, his phone starts buzzing on the table. It’s a text from Sebastian. He didn’t forget him after all.  
  
 **Sorry, I was eating dinner, but I made it home in one piece.**

He sends a quick text back, then he's got to clean up and get some work done.

**Glad to hear it. Don't forget you've got that math work to make up.**

He hopes that didn't sound too much like he was nagging. But it's at least half his fault Sebastian hasn't gotten anything done for his class.

Setting his phone down, Chris first cleans up the kitchen, and then straightens the living room. Entering the bedroom and seeing the state of disarray it’s in once again leaves him feeling almost guilty. Why is it so hard for him to take things slow and really be gentle with Sebastian?

His phone vibrates with a text from Sebastian just as he’s thinking of him.

**Yeah, yeah. I'll get it done. :)**

Chris shakes his head, trying to think of what to text back and starts smoothing out the sheets, returning the condoms and lube to the drawer in his night stand.

His phone vibrates again with another message from Sebastian.

**Thanks for listening to me. I'm still sorry for ruining things.**

He can’t help but picturing Sebastian sad while texting him. Suddenly remembering how he was not that long ago, crying in his arms, _almost_ out of control, spitting words with such a look of disgust on his face, throwing them with so much anger and sorrow at the same time. He remembers what he said, that he thought nobody would want him. That guy, whoever he was, hurt Sebastian badly. Chris really isn’t surprised by the fact he wants to hurt the guy just as badly if he were ever to meet him.  
  
 **You didn’t, I told you, and I’m always here if you ever want to talk again**.  
  
He hopes Sebastian isn’t crying, thinking he really ruined everything, because he did not. Sure that wasn’t the best part of the day, but Chris can’t blame him for having strong emotions. And it’s not like it’s the first time he’s said something that lead Sebastian to a raw emotional state. He has to be more careful of his words, his temper, around him. It hurts him to see such a sweet kid, with so much to offer, being so torn and tortured inside.

While he waits to see how Sebastian will respond, if he'll respond, Chris grades papers. It's tedious work and he's glad for the interruption when Sebastian texts him back.

**Thanks. I appreciate that. I guess I'm not as over it as I thought I was.**

Chris nearly rolls his eyes. No, Sebastian is definitely not over the way his ex hurt him. He starts tapping out a message, trying to think of something positive to say, when Sebastian texts him again.

**Thanks too for... everything else tonight. I hope we can be together again soon.**

Everything else… Yes. A smile grows on Chris’ face, and his mind replays the things they did together. It really has been a good day, the last few minutes of their  time together aside. He glances at his couch, and bites his lower lip before nearly giggling like a teenager. Sebastian laying on his couch, naked and excited, that was a wonderful moment.   
  
 **Well, you know where to find me ;)**  
  
If Chris is going to be completely honest, he wouldn’t mind spending all his time with Sebastian. They don’t need to do anything, just having him around would be enough. But he knows it can’t happen, unfortunately. _Damn_ , that kid is really doing something to him. It’s like he can’t stop thinking about him all the time.  
  
Fearing his text is a little bit too much (like it could be after all their sexting sessions) Chris starts typing another one, carefully weighing his words before sending it.  
  
 **Homework okay ? Not giving you too much trouble?**

There's barely a pause before Sebastian answers.

**I'm giving up on it for the night. I'm too tired and can't seem to concentrate on it... maybe I've got a bad teacher ;)**

Laughing, Chris sends a reply.

**Not sure if "bad" is the right choice of words. Maybe you mean "very good". Get some sleep. It'll be easier if you're well rested.**

He's glad Sebastian doesn't seem to be frustrated by the work. At least not yet. And since he doesn't have his class tomorrow, it gives Sebastian extra time. If he's still struggling with it then they really will have to have a tutoring session. Tutoring where he actually helps Sebastian with his math.

Sebastian's text flashes across his screen.

**Goodnight again.**

He's ready for bed too, but not before he finishes his grading.


	8. Please Mr. Evans, Reeducate Me

Soon they’re spending as much time together as they can, as much as they dare to. Some weeks that means tutoring sessions every few days, other times they have to wait for the weekend.

It’s a Saturday and Chris is sitting on his back step, smoking while awaiting Sebastian's arrival. They call them tutoring sessions, but these days, they do very little in the way of tutoring. At least, he isn’t teaching Sebastian any school subjects, not that he minds.

The doorbell rings, pulling Chris out of his thoughts. Rushing inside, through the small apartment he answers the door, cigarette still in hand, finding Sebastian waiting on his doorstep, smiling mischievously.

"Come on, get in here," Chris says, smiling. "What have you got there?" he asks, taking note of the bag Sebastian is clutching.

Sebastian's smirk grows. "I told you I'd bring lunch, didn't I?" Seeing the cigarette in Chris’ hand, he raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.

"Right, I do seem to recall that." Chris sighs. "Please tell me that bag isn't full of junk food?" Sebastian eats anything Chris offers, but he's made it abundantly clear that he'd prefer candy or chips over the apples and carrots that Chris serves.

"Well, not all junk food." Setting the bag on Chris' kitchen table, Sebastian rummages through it. "Ah hah!" Pulling an apple from the bag he smiles triumphantly. "See, not all junk food."

Chris can't help but smile at the sight of Sebastian clutching an apple. "Let me see what else is in there."

Stepping to the back door, he tosses out his cigarette before returning to Sebastian and the bag of food on his kitchen table. He raises an eyebrow when he looks briefly in the bag. “Really?” he asks, taking a bottle of whipped cream out of the bag.  
  
“What?” Sebastian smiles widely.  
  
“Nothing just… Gives me an interesting idea.” Chris waggles his eyebrows before checking all the items in Sebastian’s bag. “Did you even buy something to eat as a real meal?” he sighs.  
  
“Well, that’s what a meal looks like to me,” Sebastian says defensively. “Besides, how are you going to lecture me on junk food when you smoke?”

Avoiding the mention of his own bad habit, he looks at Sebastian pointedly. “I really need to re-educate you, you don’t even know what a real meal is, that’s really sad you know” Chris jokes, faking a whine at every junk food item he pulls out of the bag. With all the unhealthy things that kid eats it’s a miracle he’s as thin as he is.  
  
“Mom’s out most of the time, ‘n I don’t have time to waste cooking and eating healthy.” Sebastian bites into the apple, pressing against Chris’ back. “But _please Mr. Evans_ , re-educate me,” he whispers behind him.

Turning to face Sebastian, Chris takes the apple from his hand.

"Hey!"

Ignoring Sebastian's protests he takes a bite of his own, sucking at the apple teasingly. When the bite is gone, he pulls Sebastian close. "Re-educate you, you say?"

Sebastian smirks. "That is what I said, _Mr. Evans_."

Bringing their lips together, Chris kisses him, wiping that smirk right off his face. Sebastian seems surprised, but only for a second before he begins kissing Chris back with eagerness.

Chris breaks the kiss, laughing at Sebastian's pout. "Well, that apple certainly tastes good. I think we can find a few things to do with that whipped cream too."

 "Oh. Oh, really?" Sebastian smiles slowly. "I knew it was a good idea, the whipped cream."

“Yeah.” Chris presses a peck on Sebastian’s lips. “You’re not a lost cause apparently.”  
  
“Asshole.” Sebastian laughs back “Wait what are you doing?” he asks, seeing Chris moving to the fridge, leaving the apple on the counter.  
  
“C’mon, you don’t expect me to—”  
  
“Yes,” Sebastian interrupts him “I expect you to eat what I bought _for us_.” He pouts again.  
  
“You want _me_ to eat chips and drink sodas?” Sebastian nods, still pouting, and Chris laughs, throwing up his hands in surrender “Alright ! You win, I’ll eat your damn junk food, but don’t complain if _I_ complain.”  
  
“Maybe we can,” Sebastian grabs the whipped cream bottle off of the counter, “Find a way for you not to complain then?” He shakes the bottle, a grin appearing on his face.

"How about a compromise." Seeing Sebastian's raised eyebrows, Chris explains. "We save the sodas and chips for... later and for now we work on the not complaining... with the whipped cream?"

Sebastian shakes the bottle lazily. "What did you have in mind, _Mr. Evans_?"

Snatching the bottle from Sebastian's hands, Chris laughs. He leans down and buries his nose in Sebastian's neck, darting his tongue out to taste that spot right behind his ear. "You taste good," he tells Sebastian. "But I bet you'd taste even better with whipped cream."

"Oh," Sebastian lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. "Bedroom?" he asks, almost shyly.

Chris grabs his hand and leads him to his bedroom, but just before reaching the bed he turns back to face Sebastian and pulls him closer to kiss him.  
  
He throws the whipped cream bottle on the bed behind him and slides his hands under Sebastian’s shirt, undressing him. He steps back to take a long look at him.  
  
“What?” Sebastian starts to blush.  
  
“Nothing...” Chris bites his lower lip. “Just wondering where I should lick the whipped cream from first.”

Chris eases Sebastian back onto the bed, smiling encouragingly as he lays spread out before him.

Picking up the whipped cream, Chris shakes the can again, before pointing the nozzle over one of Sebastian's nipples. He squirts the bottle, watching as the white cream mounds up over Sebastian's chest. Setting the can aside—within easy reach— he bends his head, licking his lips so Sebastian can see before he began to suck the cream from his skin eagerly. All too soon, he reaches the raised nub beneath the sweet cream and attaches his lips to it, suckling it long after the cream is gone.

Sebastian starts out quiet but the longer Chris licks and suck at his chest, the louder he becomes. His lips part, pouting with need and his cheeks flush with desire. Chris watches as he shifts impatiently, eyes following Chris' movements once more as he shakes the can and applies another mound of cream to Sebastian's other nipple.

Burying his tongue in the excessive amount of cream, he reaches Sebastian’s nipple, circling it, licking away all the cream. Once again, Chris doesn’t stop when the whipped cream is gone and starts lapping rapidly at the hard bit of pink flesh. He feels rather pleased with himself when Sebastian lets another loud breath escape his mouth.  
  
Pressing a few kisses on his chest, he then straightens on the bed. Wearing a huge smile, he takes the bottle in his hand and moves the tip to Sebastian’s mouth. He opens gladly as Chris squirts cream on his waiting tongue. Staring into Sebastian’s eyes, Chris can’t help but shiver as Sebastian’s tongue makes the cream disappear. Putting the bottle on the bed, Chris bends, reaching Sebastian’s lips. Tasting the cream in his mouth.

"Mmm," Chris says, exaggerating the sound. "I told you, you're delicious."

Sebastian licks his lips. "So you're saying you approve of the whipped cream?"

Pretending to frown, Chris looks from Sebastian, to the whipped cream, and then back to Sebastian. "I guess in this case, I can make an exception for junk food."

"I knew it!"

"Oh, really?" Chris asks, reaching for the whipped cream again. "What did you know exactly?" He slides his hands downward, towards the waist of Sebastian's jeans, toying with the button.

“That you would love the whipped cream!”   
  
Chris holds back a laugh but can’t stop a smile to appear on his face. “Let’s just say I love it because of where I can taste it.” Unbuttoning Sebastian’s pants, unzipping them, he looks at Sebastian’s underwear. Pressing kisses just above it, moving up to his belly button, he then glances at Sebastian, lips still glued to his skin. He sinks gently his teeth in his flesh, nipping at Sebastian’s skin.   
  
Taking the bottle in his hands again, he makes random lines and balls of cream on Sebastian’s bare chest. He starts drawing an imaginary path between every one of those with his tongue, licking the whipped cream off Sebastian’s skin, not leaving his gaze a second.

Having licked the cream from Sebastian's chest and torso once again, Chris slides his hands down Sebastian's sides. When he reaches his hips, he stops and Sebastian obligingly lifts up, allowing Chris to slide off his underwear. His eyes never leave Sebastian's, it's too good to look away.

"Chris," Sebastian says. His voice is almost a whimper.

"Yes?" He knows what Sebastian wants, but he's having too much fun teasing him, playing with him. Waiting for Sebastian's answer, he sits back, idly shaking the can of whipped cream, running his other hand over Sebastian's skin. Fingers touching and grazing everywhere he can reach, everywhere except the one place Sebastian wants him to touch most.

Neither of them noticed the room growing darker until it suddenly brightens for a split second. Breaking their eye contact, Chris looks at the window, there’s a storm blowing in and it only takes a few seconds after the lightening to hear an incredibly loud rumble of thunder.  
  
Looking back at Sebastian, not caring for one second about what’s happening outside,he starts moving his fingers over his skin again, still avoiding the spot Sebastian can’t wait to feel him touching.  
  
“Yes?” he asks again.  
  
“Was that thunder?”  
  
“You’re not answering my question, you’re asking another one.” He lets his fingers slide over Sebastian’s thigh, barely touching. “But yes that was thunder. Now what were you about to say?” Moving his hand back on Sebastian’s stomach he adds, “Chris...” waiting for Sebastian to finish the sentence.

Another loud crack of thunder sounds and Sebastian flinches under Chris' hands.

"Chris, I... I really don't like thunder storms."

"Shhh, don't worry, you're fine," Chris shushes him. Suddenly it seems a bit silly, Sebastian is undressed and sticky from the whipped cream and Chris is still fully dressed.

Lightning flashes again, followed by another loud rumble of thunder.

"Here," Chris says. He makes quick work of removing his own clothing, and then pulls the blankets over their bodies. "We'll just find something to do that will distract you from the storm."

“Yeah?” Sebastian doesn’t really sound convinced by that.  
  
“Yeah.” Chris answers, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck, starting to kiss him there, moving up to that spot behind his ear that always works to gives Sebastian chills. It doesn’t fail this time either.  
  
His fingers wander again under the sheets, caressing Sebastian’s body.  
  
“Don’t worry,” he whispers into Sebastian’s ear. “I’m not done with the whipped cream yet.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow at him as Chris crawls between his legs. "Oh," he breathes. “The whipped cream.”

Chris smirks and reaches out his hand, grasping for the bottle of whipped cream. “Aaah, there we go,” he says when he’s found it. He winks at Sebastian and then almost chuckles as Sebastian's mouth falls open slightly.

Shaking the bottle slightly, Chris speaks slowly, "Now, where else do you think I could use this, Sebastian?" When Sebastian only responds with small little noises, Chris takes the feeling of Sebastian's erection against him as a sign that he doesn’t care as long as Chris does something soon.

"Chris..." Sebastian groans out as Chris spreads some whipped cream along the "V" of Sebastian's hips. Crawling lower, Chris spreads Sebastian’s legs apart. Sebastian looks as though he’s about to say something when Chris sprays the whipped cream into his hand, but all that comes out is a drawn out moan as Chris takes his handful of whipped cream, spreading it along Sebastian’s cock.

Sebastian continues to make incoherent noises as Chris coats his cock and then licks away all of the whipped cream,taking an insane amount of pleasure in making Sebastian moan outrageously each time his tongue collects more cream.  When the whipped cream is gone, he licks his hand clean, looking up at Sebastian's face.

And what a beautiful sight it is, Sebastian's face flushed, his mouth is hanging open.

Sebastian grasps Chris’ hair and pulls him to his face, kissing him intensely. “I want you,” he tries to breath between kisses.   
  
Chris laughs, Sebastian is always so impatient. “Thought we were supposed to eat what you bought _for us_ ,” he says, kissing Sebastian’s cheek.  
  
“I can eat later, right now it’s you I want.”  
  
Chris can’t deny that’s the option he likes the most. Lying on Sebastian, he can feel their cocks touching, so he moves his hips a little, letting them slide against one another.

Chris kissed down Sebastian’s neck and chest, relishing the breathy noises he makes. He thrusts against Sebastian’s thigh, while grinding his own into Sebastian’s cock. Sebastian moans and he loves it. Whatever fear Sebastian has of the storm seemed to be forgotten for now. Chris reaches his hand down and wraps it around Sebastian’s cock, stroking Sebastian’s shaft, kissing him as he moans into his mouth. His cries get louder and Chris knows that he’s telling the truth about wanting to eat later.

“The noises you make,” Chris says, smiling at Sebastian, “Are so hot.”

Sebastian lets out another breathy moan that Chris silences with his lips. Sebastian’s hands reach up, finding Chris’ hair. Pushing back as they kiss, pulling at Chris desperately.

“Chris...” Sebastian whines quietly lifting his hips, which makes Chris laugh and break the kiss.  
  
“ _God_ , you’re so impatient.” Chris keeps laughing, “Not that I don’t enjoy your enthusiasm though,” he adds, grasping Sebastian’s lip between his teeth, “‘cause I really do,” he breathes, inviting him in into another passionate kiss.  
  
His hand still stroking Sebastian’s cock, he moves his lips down over Sebastian’s neck and then up to his ear, taking his earlobe between his teeth. “What are you impatient for? What do you want?”

"I'm only impatient for you," Sebastian huffs. He's writhing under Chris, hands tugging at his hair. Chris lets Sebastian pull him in for another kiss, tipping his head up to get a better angle before parting his lips. The feel of Sebastian's tongue pushing against his never fails to send a shock down his spine.

"Well," Chris murmurs after a moment. "What do you want?"

"Want you," Sebastian pants, arching up against Chris, trying to find friction.

"Mmm, well that's good, because I want you too." Chris answers and then moves his lips back to Sebastian's neck, his ear.

Sebastian shivers with want. "I want you inside of me," Sebastian says. "I want you to take me from behind," he whispers, almost shyly.

Without fail, Sebastian’s words go straight to Chris’ hard cock. He likes that idea. “Interesting,” he answers before licking Sebastian’s ear, making him moan loudly in surprise. “Turn around.”  
  
Sebastian turns his face to meet Chris’, softly sinking his teeth in his lower lip. Chris kisses him briefly before rolling on the bed to reach the nightstand drawer. Taking the bottle of lube out, he comes back to Sebastian who still hasn’t moved yet. He’s staring at him, his body, but it looks like he isn’t really looking, he’s just lost in his thoughts.  
  
“What are you waiting for?” he asks raising an eyebrow, opening the cap of the bottle.  
  
“I-I don’t know.” Sebastian shakes his head slowly. “I think I blacked out for a minute.”  
  
Chris laughs again. “I made you blacked out? I haven’t even done anything yet, not really.”  
  
“I was just thinking about what I said and I…” He shakes his head one more time, his eyes widening.  
  
Chris comes closer and kisses his cheek, moving to his ear to whispers again. “Turn around.”

Moving now, Sebastian props himself up, gives Chris a glorious view of his ass. Chris gasps a sharp intake of breath. This is a sight he never gets tired of, something he could watch for hours.

He doesn’t make Sebastian wait for hours, doesn’t make him wait long at all, pouring the lube onto his hands, rubbing them between Sebastian’s cheeks. Sebastian cranes his head back, watching Chris as he massages his flesh, tracing around his hole.

They share quick look, Chris asking a silent question, Sebastian nodding consent. Chris presses a finger inside, no problem with all the lube he’s using. One finger turns to two, which makes Sebastian grasp at the sheets, eyes closing while his breathing increases. Two turns to three, Sebastian is openly panting now. Three fingers stretch and open until Sebastian bends and arches pushing back against Chris. Lifting his hips so that Chris can reach around and grab his swelling cock.

“This what you want, Sebastian?” Chris whispers. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

Hearing him whispering, Sebastian starts to tremble, invaded by a wave of chills. “Stop whispering like that.”  
  
Chris hides his huge smile on Sebastian’s back, pressing his lips against the smooth skin, trailing a few kisses over his spine. He slides a hand to grab Sebastian’s waist and lifts him up, bringing him on his hands and knees.  
  
His fingers leaving Sebastian’s hole for a minute, he takes time to appreciate the view. Brushing Sebastian’s back, his thighs and his cheeks with his fingers. He kisses his lower back, moving up along Sebastian’s spine until he reaches his neck and his cock is pressing softly against Sebastian’s hole. “That’s what you wanted baby? Like this?”

"Yes, Chris, please," Sebastian pleads.

Chris pushes forward, slides in effortlessly, stopping halfway in Sebastian’s tight heat. “Oh, God…” Chris moans, dipping his head forward so that it brushes Sebastian’s back. Chris pulls back out slowly, feeling the drag of heat tight around his cock. When his tip is just inside Sebastian’s entrance, he pushes back in. It feels so good, Sebastian feels so good. He has to exhale and roll his tongue over his lower lip, moaning in silence.

Sebastian sighs, arching his back into Chris’s body. “You can… go faster, Chris. I won’t, ugh, break.”

“Right,” Chris replies, his voice strangled. For a second he almost forgot what was happening around him, that Sebastian is here, under him, that he’s inside him. He pulls back out and snaps his hips into Sebastian, making him whimper with surprise. Chris sets up a steady rhythm, almost completely inside Sebastian whenever he pushes in.

“You good?” Chris asks. “This what you wanted baby.” His voice drops to a low whisper once again and he’s rewarded with a full body shiver from Sebastian.

“Just, _oh god_ …”  
  
Thrusting in him forcefully Chris asks “Just what?”  
  
“Just go _faster_ , please.”

Pressing a kiss in the middle of Sebastian’s back, Chris straightens himself, grasping Sebastian’s hips in his hands. He starts moving slowly to tease him, so slowly that Sebastian starts to move by himself, impaling himself on Chris. Chris lets him move, he lets Sebastian fuck himself, admiring the view from above while licking his lower lip. Now Sebastian isn’t moving as fast as _he_ wants so he pushes in him completely, rapidly. Tightening his grip on Sebastian’s hips, he starts moving faster and faster and Sebastian isn’t even trying to be quiet, he’s loud and Chris loves that.

The flashes from the thunderstorm invade the room and throw light across Sebastian’s back. For a second, just in the time the light flashes across his skin, Chris slows his rhythm, taking a long look at the vision Sebastian is offering him. Enjoying it. Then he leans back on Sebastian and thrusts harder and faster.

Chris starts sucking on Sebastian's neck, moving down to bite his shoulder. He reaches around enough to fist Sebastian's cock, and in no time Sebastian is moaning louder, thrusting into Chris’ fist.

He can tell from the urgency of Sebastian’s moans that he’s close, so Chris speeds up, stroking Sebastian's cock hard, groaning and rocking his hips. Each roll of his hips sends his cock hard and fast into Sebastian.

He can feel Sebastian tense, his whole body thrumming with ecstasy. Chris thrusts a few more times, knowing that he’s close too.

“Ooooh, _god_ ,” Chris moans as he comes  
  
He rests his head on Sebastian’s back, panting, exhausted. His fingers are covered with Sebastian’s come, and he kisses the back of Sebastian’s neck before they collapse onto the bed. Sliding his dick out, he first looks at Sebastian’s profile, lying on bed the under him, eyes closed, mouth open trying to catch his breath. Then he kisses him, bringing his lips down on random spots on Sebastian’s back, brushing his skin with the tip of his nose. He rest on one of his forearm, and grabs Sebastian by the waist with the other hand.   
  
There’s no noise in the room besides their loud breathing and the rain smashing against the windows.

They stay there for who knows how long, recovering, listening to the rain and cuddling in silence. The thunder has stopped now, no more lightning pierces the sky.

Chris finds it soothing, the steady beat of Sebastian's heart, the rain falling against the roof and windows.

"Was that distraction enough?" he asks, planting a kiss on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Hmm, what?" Sebastian mumbles sleepily.

"Hey, don't go falling asleep on me. I asked if that was a good enough distraction. From the thunderstorm you were so afraid of?"

"Oh… hm..." Sebastian answers quietly, eyes closed. "Wasn’t really that afraid... just wanted you to take care of me…"  
  
“Oh, yeah?” Chris slides his hand on Sebastian’s hip “You weren’t that afraid, hm?”   
  
Trying to wake him up a little, Chris starts tickling him. Sebastian tries to protest but squirms under him, laughing into the mattress.

Giggles explode from Sebastian has he writhes and tries to move away from Chris. He doesn’t have much luck because Chris’ hands don’t stop moving, over his sides and ribs.  
  
“Chris!” he manages through his giggles.

Chris grins, keeping up his assault, hands tickling over Sebastian’s belly.

 “Chris, please!” he begs, laughing and panting.

Finally relenting, Chris pulls Sebastian close. Plants a kiss on his forehead. “As much as I’d like it, I can’t have you falling asleep.” His arms tighten around Sebastian. “We can wait out the storm though, stay till it stops raining.”

Sebastian is wide-awake now, and he grins back at Chris. “You promised to have the chips and sodas with me too, don’t forget.”

“I don’t remember promising that...”  
  
“You did! Now go get our lunch ‘cause I’m starving-” still grinning, Sebastian turns to completely face Chris, “ _I_ didn’t have the chance to eat whipped cream.”  
  
“We can fix that!” Laughing, and biting his lower lip on purpose, Chris gets up and quickly brings back Sebastian’s bag from the kitchen. Sitting on the bed, back pressing against the wall, he brings Sebastian closer, his head resting on his stomach.  
  
“Here’s your junk food, junkie” he laughs, opening the bag on his lap.

"You're going to have some too, right?" Sebastian opens a soda and takes a sip, looking at Chris for confirmation.

Chris watches Sebastian for a moment. "You're lucky you're adorable," he finally says. "Because you have horrible eating habits."

Sebastian sputters, sitting up straighter. "Hey! Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

Chris pokes Sebastian's side, trying to tickle him again. "Why, is it working?"

Sebastian narrows his eyes at Chris, not looking away as he deliberately takes the cold soda and presses it against Chris' bare chest.

"Hey!" Chris yelps. "That was uncalled for!"

“You tried to tickle me _again_ , you deserved it.”

Sebastian looks in his bag, grabbing the chips. He opens them and put a handful in his mouth, eating loudly while Chris’ is staring at him. With a huge smile, after swallowing everything, he points the packet in Chris’ direction, shaking it.   
  
“C’mon, don’t tell me you’re not hungry.” He shakes it again when Chris doesn’t move or respond.  
  
“Oh my god” Chris laughs, shaking his head “You’re despicable, you know that? You'd better not get crumbs in my bed," he says. He laughs though, letting Sebastian know he's only joking. He'll have to change the sheets regardless, the whipped cream was a little messier than he realized.

"C'mon, Chris." Sebastian waves the bag of chips under his nose. "Have some."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to get out of bed and come into the kitchen with me for some real food?" he asks. He already knows what Sebastian's answer is going to be, but he asks anyway.

“That’s real food!” He answers, pretending to be shocked by Chris’ words.  
  
“If you want to eat your junk food that’s fine with me,” his thumb cleans up the corner of Sebastian’s mouth, “But can I at least eat something healthier?”  
  
“You’re no fun, but if I _really_ can’t make you eat chips, then eat your damn... lettuce,” Sebastian fakes a disgusted face saying the last word. “You know, I don’t understand how you can be on my case about eating junk so much when you smoke. That’s a way worse habit!”

Chris can’t say that Sebastian is wrong, he knows smoking is a disgusting habit. It’s probably one of the few things in his life that Chris is ashamed of. He started long ago and he tried to quit few times, but with all the stress of college and starting to teach and a lot of other things, he never found the courage to really stop. He always ended up smoking a cigarette when he was supposed to stop, being overwhelmed by his stress, and eventually smoking more and more. Not that he is a _huge_ smoker – he used to be, but he still likes to have a cigarette once in a while.

“’Ever tried to quit?” Sebastian asks softly, resting his head on Chris’ stomach again, fingers lightly drawing the lines of Chris’ pectoral tattoo.

“Mmmhmm,” Chris hums, burying his nose in Sebastian’s hair, the soft strands sticking in his beard, thinking about old memories. “As you can guess, I failed,” he adds in a murmur, his hand moving to stroke Sebastian’s hair gently.

“Maybe I can motivate you…” Sebastian starts, his fingers left the first tattoo tobrush a second one on Chris’ ribcage, “ For every cigarette you smoke, I smoke one.”

Chris knows Sebastian meant it as a joke, but he can’t help but shake his head abruptly, making Sebastian looks up to him confused. “Don’t.” he says firmly. It’s not really an order, he’s in no position to order Sebastian to do anything, but that’s what it should be. He doesn’t want to drag Sebastian into this, even if he’s sure it was a joke, it’s the last thing he wants, Sebastian picking up his bad habit.

Knowing it was said a little harder than what he intended, Chris adds with a weak laugh “All the junk food you eat is already bad enough for you.”

“Then….” Sebastian starts, thoughtful, his chin resting on Chris’ chest, “I’ll give up junk food the day you give up smoking,” he says, smiling.

 “Okay,” Chris answers simply.

His answer seems to take Sebastian by surprise. “Uh, what?”he blinks, straightening up.

“Yeah, let’s do it. You stop eating junk food and I’ll quit smoking.” He’s totally serious, even if he knows Sebastian will have a harder time giving up junk than he will with giving up cigarettes, and that’s already an effort for him. Laughing again,  he kisses Sebastian’s forehead, before going back to the kitchen.

When Sebastian hears him coming back, he lifts his head up to see Chris completely naked, sinking his teeth in a red apple. He can’t help but smile. "You and your apples!" Sebastian says.

Chris nearly chokes on his bite of apple at the mock indignation in Sebastian's tone. "I don't seem to remember you complaining about the apples before," he says after he's cleared his throat.

"Hey, make fun of my junk food all you want. At least I never teased you in class with a bag of chips," Sebastian says, reminding Chris of the early part of their relationship.

Grinning before he takes another bite of apple, Chris chews and swallows before he answers. "You were the one who brought me that apple, if I remember correctly. I was only trying to be polite, enjoy your gift."

“Only trying to be polite” Sebastian scoffs.  
  
“And if I remember correctly again, you’re the one who brought an apple earlier,” Chris says before biting in the apple again, walking around the bed to lie next to Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian puts the packet of chips aside, and sneaks into Chris’ arm, wrapping his forearm around Chris’ neck. Chris’ caresses his chest with his fingers when Sebastian whispers in his neck, pouting. “I don’t want to go home”  
  
“I know” Chris answers, kissing Sebastian’s hair.

"I don't want you to leave either. But you know you have to." Chris reminds him, his words soft, tone gentle.

"I know. Not until I graduate. But then it won't matter, right? Once I'm not your student anymore?" Sebastian asks, tightening his arm around Chris' neck.

"That's right, once you're not my student we won't have to be as careful, or have to worry about getting caught." Chris takes another bite of his apple, resting his chin on Sebastian's head.

"And after I graduate, maybe I can just stay with you all the time?" Sebastian’s words are so quiet, Chris almost doesn't hear him at first.

“Well for that,” Chris sighs, “You need to graduate, and if I remember your last grade, that’s not gonna happen.” He laughs quietly, just to mess with him.  
  
“Heeey!” Sebastian lifts his head up, opening his mouth widely, pretending to be offended. “But who keeps distracting me when they’re supposed to tutor me? Hm? Who?”  
  
Amused by his reaction, Chris listens as Sebastian continues.  
  
“Who licked whipped cream off my body instead of helping me, hm?” Chris can’t stop laughing at Sebastian’s list. “Who keeps kissing me when we’re studying? Who keeps sneaking and breathing in my ear over my back in class to distract me, hm? Who, Chris? Oh right that’s you!”  
  
“Right, okay, I’m as guilty as you, because you’re a tease too you know.” He says after catching his breath. Sebastian looks away trying not to laugh himself. “Yeah, who keeps licking his lips and biting them so I can’t concentrate and do my job? Who send me all of those dirty text, hm? Who, Sebastian?”  
  
Finally laughing, Sebastian straddles Chris’s waist, bending to reach his lips and kiss him. Chris slides his hands around Sebastian’s back, hugging him.

Rubbing his hands up and down Sebastian's back, Chris plants a kiss on Sebastian's shoulder. "I'd offer to go over some of the work with you now, but you didn't even bring your books and I know you'll have to go soon."

"Don't remind me. I promised my mom I'd be home for dinner." Sebastian pouts.

"Hey, what do you say we plan a few tutoring sessions this week, if I promise to make sure we actually get work done?" Chris offers.

Sebastian tenses, muttering under his breath.

"What did you say?" Chris asks, frowning.

"I just remembered, I won't even be in school this week. I'll be gone all week for the class trip. We leave first thing Monday morning."

“Oh...” Chris stops stroking Sebastian’s back “That’s this week?”  
  
“Yeah...” He answers, falling on Chris, burying his face in his neck.   
  
Chris tightens his grip on Sebastian, pulling him closer “Well I’m sure you’re gonna have fun.”  
  
“M’yeah... Would have been better if you were one of the teachers coming with us,” he speaks in Chris’ neck.  
  
“And support you twenty-four/seven? Hell no!” Chris laughs loudly. But he wouldn’t mind. He would love to in fact. The hard part would be keeping his hands off Sebastian, and his lips off him, and to not hug him. And most of allto not get caught by anyone because he isn’t sure he would be able to not do the first things. So yes, he’s glad he isn’t part of the trip, even as sad as he is for Sebastian to leave him for a complete week.  
  
“Hey!” Sebastian’s hands falls on Chris’ hips but Chris stops him before he reaches them. Escaping from Chris’ grip, Sebastian is the one grasping Chris’ wrists and, sitting on him again, he pushes Chris’ wrists next to his head.  
  
“What are you trying to prove kid?” Chris teases him “You know I’m stronger than you.” He raises his eyebrows but doesn’t try to break Sebastian’s hold. Staring at him intensely at first, Sebastian’s eyes starts wandering on Chris’ body before looking back to his eyes.   
  
“Either you kiss me or I’ll do it.” Chris says, biting his lower lip.

Accepting his challenge, Sebastian kisses him. His lips finding Chris', his tongue sweeping across Chris' lips.

Moaning as Chris parts his lips for him, Sebastian keeps Chris' wrists pinned. Chris could easily move, but that's not the point. Sebastian seems to be enjoying his position of power. And he enjoys having Sebastian on top of him like this, trying to prove his strength, not that he is exerting any real force, but just trying to dominate him. It’s adorable.

Sebastian is the one to break the kiss, pulling away from Chris, smirking.

"You know, you keep that up and you're going to be late getting home," Chris warns him.

"I _am_ going to be gone for a week," Sebastian says. "Maybe I need something to remember you by."

“Oh ’cause you could forget me?” Chris tries to sound outraged but fails, laughing instead.  
  
Sebastian loses his smile for a second.  “Never,” he says and the smile comes back quickly. They stare at each other for a long minute, both apparently considering that little word Sebastian just pronounced, and Chris finally breaks the silence  
  
“Maybe I should leave you something to remember me then...”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
Chris looks toward his pinned wrists, wiggling his fingers. Sebastian releases the light pressure he was exerting, and Chris hands grab Sebastian’s face, bringing him closer. Pretending to kiss his lips, he moves down to press them against Sebastian’s neck and starts sucking his skin just above his collarbone. Alternating suctions and licks, he eventually leaves his neck, resting his head back on the pillow.   
  
“A hickey? Really?” Sebastian breathes opening his eyes.

Chris smiles, proud of himself. "See, now you won't be able to forget."

"As if I could," Sebastian says, feeling the mark with his fingers. "Jeez, you better hope my mom doesn't see this."

"Hey, keep your shirt on around her and you'll be fine," Chris assures him. "But speaking of your mom, as much as I'd like to stay right here, give you a few more hickeys, you'd better get home."

“Yeah, yeah…” Sebastian grumbles, but doesn’t move.  
  
“What?” Chris asks, waiting for Sebastian to do something, resting his hands on Sebastian’s thighs. “You don’t want me to dress you, do you?”   
  
Sebastian laughs and finally leaves the bed to find his underwear. “I know I’m young, but I’m not _that_ young, thank you,” he speaks as he dresses himself, looking for his shirt but finding Chris’ underwear, which he throws to him.   
  
Chris fights on the bed to put it on, getting up on his feet to finds himself at Sebastian’s back. He’s bending to grab his shirt so Chris presses a kiss on his shoulder and grabs his hips to make Sebastian turns and face him. One of his hands reaches Sebastian’s cheek Chris says, “Have fun during your school trip, hm.” Giving Sebastian a peck on the lips.


	9. Don’t ‘Whatever’ Me

When he gets the invitation, by text, from one of the other teachers, Chris decides to go out. It’s a rare thing for him, being so busy with teaching duties and Sebastian, he doesn’t spend much time doing anything else. In fact he can’t remember the last time he’s been out on a weekend. He doesn’t really complain about it though, he spends a lot of time with Sebastian and it’s all he wants lately.

There’s a group of five of them, all teachers, and it’s fun. Karen, one of the science teachers suggests a pub in town for dinner and she was right, it’s an amazing place. He’s not sure why he hasn’t gone before. Then he has a pang of regret that he can’t take Sebastian here with him. Chris knows he’d love it. In fact it’s easy to picture Sebastian here with him, playing darts, just hanging out. Something they can’t do, not here, not anywhere in public, not now.

Shaking off thoughts of Sebastian, Chris joins the conversation.

“Hey, Evans, what do you think of that troublemaker you have in your class?” Peter, one of the English teachers, asks.

“Huh?” Shit, he really hasn’t been paying attention.

“You know, Sebastian Stan. I know he’s in your class, he’s a little punk, isn’t he?” Peter asks again. “How many times have you had to give him detention so far?”

Chris laughs awkwardly, griping his glass. “Oh, hmm, only two or three times you know. He doesn’t give me that much trouble, he just sits there and doesn’t pay any attention.” Because he’s busy focusing on me, Chris ends the sentence in his head. Trying to avoid grinning as he thinks about Sebastian biting his lip to get _his_ attention in class, he takes a sip of his drink and listens to Dean, a PE teacher, talking.  
  
“Well yeah he isn’t too much trouble for me either, well most of the time,” Dean smiles. “I had to keep him in detention two weeks ago with his friend, that new kid, what’s his name again? Oh yeah Crawford, because they kept throwing the ball in each other’s faces. Apparently they found that really funny.”

Hm. Interesting. Sebastian never mentioned that. Speaking of Sebastian, his phone vibrates in his pocket and it’s a text from him. He glances at it discretely under the table, the text appearing on screen without needing to open it.  
  
 **I have no idea what I have to pack for that trip and I had to take a shower thanks to you.**

Chris tries not to smile too broadly, remembering the afternoon they just shared, the whipped cream, and slides the phone in his pocket again to answer a little bit later because Peter has another interesting story about Sebastian to tell.  
  
“Well you’re both lucky because the kid apparently can’t stand English, or me? He likes to share that hatred and disturb everyone with his smartass remarks.”  
  
“You gotta admit though, some of them are really funny,” Karen adds.  
  
Chris is glad to hear he isn’t the only one enjoying Sebastian’s humor but also to get to know a little bit better the famous ‘Sebastian Stan Professional Disturbance’ that he read about in his file.  
  
“Yeah well he was a pain in the ass last year mostly but this year I think he kinda calmed down,” Dean says.  
  
“I wasn’t there last year but he seems like a really good kid, I think he just has, like a lot of other students, trouble staying focused and he gives up easily,” Chris says, coming to the defense of his… _secret boyfriend_. It’s funny though, Chris thinks, that especially this year the other teachers seems to notice a difference in Sebastian’s behavior, Chris can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with him.  
  
Anna, also a science teacher, quiet up until now, smiles at her turn to contribute to the conversation “I had him last year and he gave me a hard time, I nearly sent him in the principal’s office every two weeks. Glad it’s your turn Karen, I was tired of keeping him in detention”

As everyone laughs at the idea of Anna passing Sebastian off to Karen this school year, Chris’ phone vibrates again. Sneaking a look at his phone, he sees it’s Sebastian again.

**Hey, do you think I need to take my pillow? I hate the idea of going on this trip.**

Chris doesn’t want to be rude, so he slips his phone back in his pocket and listens while Anna talks about the class last year where the students were supposed to be dissecting a frog.

“Everyone was doing fine, you know, making the cuts, identifying the organs and then I see Sebastian. He hasn’t cut into his frog at all, instead he’s making it dance across the table.” Anna shakes her head. “I had to punish him of course, but what I really wanted to do was laugh.”

Chris holds back a shy smile at this story, Sebastian making frog dance on a table, it’s funny to imagine and not really surprising coming from him, but somehow he was hoping Sebastian was only not paying attention to _his_ class because it’s _him,_ not to every class.

Karen shakes her head. “Oh wow, well I’ll have to keep an extra close eye on him. No animal dissections, but then again I’m sure he could cause a much bigger mess when we cover chemistry.”

Everyone laughs at that and Chris joins in, but he can’t help feeling a little… hmm, is he disappointed in Sebastian or is does he feel bad that _all_ the teachers seem to think of him as just a troublemaker? It’s a shame that no one else gets to see what a sweet kid he really is.

As he’s thinking of Sebastian, he receives another text. He slips his phone from his pocket to check even though he’s sure it’s from Sebastian.

**Chris? Are you ignoring me? I can’t believe you’re asleep already.**

That’s already 3 texts from Sebastian and he thinks he should definitely answer because he doesn’t want Sebastian to think he’s ignoring him. In fact he’s literally thinking _and_ talking about him right now.  
  
But when he wants to answer the conversation comes back at him.  
  
“Look at us,” Dean laughs. “We’re out and having fun and we can’t stop talking about our students!” Everyone seems to smile and agree and Dean looks at Chris before speaking again “So, Evans, you’re been here for what, five months? How is it that this is the first time you’ve gone out with us?”  
  
Chris smiles politely, almost laughing “Well I’ve been busy you know, first year as a real teacher, I’m trying to be good one, a teacher that motivates his students, that takes up all my time…” Sebastian, Sebastian takes up all his time. Even when he isn’t with him he’s thinking about him, or talking about him like he was seconds ago. But he obviously can’t answer that, the rest isn’t untrue though.

“We’ve all been through that, believe me, two more years and you’re gonna want to slit some throats,” Karen says grinning, drinking from her glass.

Chris feels his phone vibrating in his pocket again but he doesn’t look at it this time.  
  
“Tells us about you!” Anna says. “We’ve talked in the staff room few times but we don’t know a lot about you. Is there a Mrs. Evans yet?”  
  
Everyone laughs again and Peter mocks Anna gently to which she answers by showing her wedding ring and saying it’s only curiosity.  
  
“Mmh, no not a Mrs. Evans, no.” Chris wants to be embarrassed but it’s maybe the alcohol starting to play with him or he just feels comfortable with his friends so he doesn’t, in fact he adds, “No Mr. Evans either.”   
  
“Oh so you play on the other team, eh!” Peter jokes, nodding at Anna and Karen. “Sorry, ladies!”  
  
Chris takes the opportunity of the mock argument between Peter and Anna that seems to be entertaining Dean and Karen to glance at his phone, taking a look at the fourth text from Sebastian.  
  
 **Did I say or do something wrong?**  
  
He glances quickly at the other teachers and tries to type as fast as possible, under the table while they’re busy, to avoid being rude.  
  
 **Sorry baby, I’m out with some friends, I call you later tonight if you’re not asleep.**

Hoping that will calm Sebastian’s worries, he puts his phone away and focuses on the conversation.

Just in time, as Peter seems to be asking him a question. “What, sorry. I didn’t hear you,” he apologizes.

“I asked if you were dating anyone,” Peter repeats himself.

How is he supposed to answer that? His phone vibrates again, but he can’t very well pull it out now. Chris takes a sip of his drink then smiles before answering. “Well, not officially. There’s someone I have my eye on though.”

“Ah, so no one we’re likely to meet if we invite you out again?” Karen asks.

“No, probably not.” He makes sure to sound apologetic, trying to imagine the looks on these teachers faces if he were to bring Sebastian to a night out. There goes his phone again, with another text. He can’t imagine what Sebastian is texting him.

Dean takes over the conversation to talk about some younger kids he coaches playing basketball and Chris tries to pay attention, it really is an interesting story, but his phone is vibrating again so he pulls it out, checking to see what Sebastian has sent him.

**Oh you’re out? Sorry if I disturbed you…**

**Hope you’re having fun.**

**Don’t worry about calling me, I’m going to sleep anyway.**  
  
Ugh. Apparently Sebastian isn’t very fond of the idea of him being out. Chris doesn’t really understand his reaction though, is it some form of jealousy? He suddenly feels bad, remembering how _he_ felt about the way Sebastian acted with Chace and he doesn’t want Sebastian to feel the same way. Then again, he isn’t doing anything wrong… right? He may have “ignored” Sebastian’s texts tonight and not told him he was seeing friends right away, but he didn’t necessarily have to tell him. Or maybe it’s been too long since he dated anyone and he’s acting like a jerk. They did spend the afternoon together, sharing a great time and he hopes Sebastian doesn’t think that he’s hiding something.  
  
He lost the thread of the conversation while he as wrapped up in his thoughts and Peter brings him back to the present. “Hey? You okay there?” He asks laughing, but there’s a bit of concern in his tone.  
  
“Oh hm, yeah, just… I’m sorry give me a second I’ll be right back, need to make a phone call.” He gets up on his feet adding “Really sorry.”   
  
Everyone seems understanding, smiling back, telling him not to worry about it and Chris steps outside. He wants to smoke but he forgot his cigarettes in his jacket on his seat. Not only that but he promised he’d try to quit, but it doesn’t really matter right now, he wants to speak to Sebastian more than he wants to smoke.Calling Sebastian for once, getting his voice mail before he decides to text him instead.  
  
 **C’mon, I know you’re not asleep yet, pick up.**  
  
There’s no answer and he’s growing impatient after only a minute he calls one more time, and Sebastian answers, well he doesn’t say a word but Chris hears his breathing.  
  
“Hi baby.”  
  
“Hey.” Sebastian doesn’t seem very happy to hear from him, or if he is, he’s hiding it very well.  
  
“You okay? I’m sorry I didn’t text you back tonight—”

“If you didn’t want to talk to me you only had to say so,” Sebastian interrupts him.

“Hey! I never said that. I—”

Sebastian cuts him off again. “If I was with my friends, I’d text you back. I thought I was important enough for you to at least answer my texts.”

“Stop,” he says, avoiding saying Sebastian’s name, just in case someone would walk out and overhear him. “I’m out with a bunch of other teachers okay? I couldn’t very well have them catch me texting you.”  He doesn’t want to get angry with Sebastian, so he takes a deep breath. “I stepped outside so I could call you back because the last thing I want is you to be gone for a week and leave mad at me.” He keeps talking, lowering his voice. “Do you really think I’d ignore you after the afternoon we spent together?”

There's another long silence, broken only by the sound of Sebastian's breathing.

“Hey, baby, c’mon. Talk to me, please?” He’s starting to feel ridiculous, standing outside the pub, waiting for Sebastian to talk to him, hoping no one will figure out who he’s talking to.

“Whatever…”  
  
“Hey no, no. Don’t whatever me. If you’re angry just tell me why.” He’s trying hard to stay calm but Sebastian doesn’t make it easy by staying silent.  
  
“I just...” Sebastian starts replying but stops himself.  
  
“Just what?” he hears rustling noises again but Sebastian doesn’t speak. “Baby tell me...” he tries to speak gently, try to reassure Sebastian with his tone. “Are you mad because I didn’t reply? Because I didn’t tell you I was seeing friends? Because I’m out without you?”  
  
Chris listens to him say softly, “I guess all of that...”  
  
He isn’t sure if he should tell Sebastian he thought about him all night and that he’s sad he can’t go out with him and introduce him to his friends. He knows that would reassure Sebastian because he clearly sounds a bit jealous over this situation and Chris knows all too well what that feels like.  
  
“Then again, I’m sorry I didn’t text you, I should have at least warned you I was going out. I apologize. But don’t think I’m not thinking of you okay? Because I am, I thought of you all night.” He’s just praying he isn’t taking too long so no one will feel the need to come check on him, but Sebastian doesn’t seem ready to stop being mad at him and he isn’t hanging up until he has been forgiven.

“I just, I don’t know…” Sebastian starts to tell him but stops again.

“C’mon, tell me what’s bothering you. Listen to me, I didn’t choose going out with friends over you, I never would. I hope you know that. It’s not a choice between you or them.”

“It’s not?” Sebastian sounds genuinely surprised.

Probably as surprised as Chris is by his reaction. It still makes him a little sad to see how Sebastian seems to trust him so much when they’re together and not at all when they’re away from each other.

“Of course not. If I could have brought you, I would have. I know you understand why I can’t do that.” He whispers the last part, checking over his shoulder to make sure none of the other teachers have come through the door.

“Really?” Sebastian asks.

“Absolutely. And I meant it when I said I’ve been thinking of you all night. I always think of you when we’re not together.”

“Y-you do?” Sebastian sounds happy to hear Chris admit to always thinking about him.

“Of course. And I’ll be thinking of you every moment you’re gone next week.”

“I’ll be thinking about you too. I’m really going to miss you, Chris.”

“I know, and I’ll miss you too. I know it’ll be difficult for you but feel free to text me whenever you can, or whenever you want to, alright ? I promise I’ll text you back as soon as I can.” Honestly Chris hopes Sebastian will text him because he has no idea how he would handle a complete week without any word from Sebastian.  
  
“I will. Thank you...” He hears Sebastian taking a deep breath “I’m sorry about tonight I—”  
  
“Hey, don’t okay? I get it, don’t worry about it.” Chris interrupts him; he doesn’t want Sebastian to feel bad about the way he felt. He has to take a part of the responsibility for the way Sebastian reacted.  
  
“No but really, I’m sorry I ruined your night...”  
  
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Chris says. “And night isn’t over yet, at least for me.” Chris tries to joke and look, once again, behind him to be sure no one can listen to what he whispers, “Go to bed kid, it’s getting late.”  
  
“Good night Chris.”

“Good night baby.” He whispers, still avoiding Sebastian’s name, just in case. You can never be too cautious.   
  
Chris waits for Sebastian to hang up, and he takes a deep breath, glancing at the time on his phone when he does. He may have take a little bit too much time, but nothing too excessive, and it was worth it if Sebastian feels better now, and so does he so he walks back inside.  
  
“Everything okay?” Karen asks as he retakes his seat.  
  
“Yeah! Sorry about that...”  
  
“Oh no, don’t worry, it’s okay! You only missed Dean’s embarrassing story about the time he caught two students having sex in the locker room ”  
  
Chris laughs. “No way? Well I’m sorry I missed that, I’d like to hear that one someday.”


	10. Chris This Is Ridiculous

By Wednesday, Chris knows Sebastian is missing him. Not to say that he doesn't miss Sebastian, but for Chris it’s a little easierbecause he’s home and he doesn’t have to hide or change his habits. He knows Sebastian isn’t enjoying the school trip.

Setting his things on the table as he comes into the apartment after school, Chris hears his phone vibrate with a text. He knows it's going to be from Sebastian, so he reads it right away.

**I miss you. This is the stupidest trip ever.**

Chris laughs, it's pretty much the same thing Sebastian has texted him for the past two days.

**I miss you too. I'm sure the trip isn't all bad.**

He knows Sebastian is deleting his texts after they come in, the last thing either of them wants is for someone to catch Sebastian texting him. He doesn’t even want to think about that possibility.

**No, it sucks. I can still see the hickey you gave me. You're lucky we're not doing any swimming on this trip. It's hard enough to hide it from the other guys in the cabin as it is.**

Chris chuckles. He knows Sebastian is complaining, but he doesn't think he really minds. He texts Sebastian back.

**Should I say sorry? Because I’m not sorry.**  
  
But doesn’t get any answer. He hopes he didn’t say something to upset Sebastian, but he’s pretty sure it’s just because Sebastian doesn’t have the time to text him.  
  
On Thursday, when Chris is taking his lunch break with two other teachers, his phone vibrates in his pocket twice.  
  
 **They’re making me eat a salad Chris. A salad. JUST A SALAD. This is hell.**

**And don’t you even think about laughing**.  
  
Of course, Chris laughs, just picturing Sebastian eating a salad is hilarious; at least this school trip has the merit of making Sebastian eat healthy. He laughs again at the idea of Sebastian being kept away from any sugar or packets of chips. He’s probably going to find him even thinner than he already was.  
  
 **I’m sorry they’re torturing you like that. They should be ashamed.**  
  
After a half hour, Chris is sitting at his desk ready for his next class to start at any minute when his phone vibrates on his pocket.  
  
 **yeah, yeah mock me, go ahead, laugh all you want. I hate this stupid school trip.**

He only has a second, but he sends back a quick response.

**It's only a few more days. You'll be back soon.**

His next class comes in then and he doesn't have time to see if Sebastian texts back until later. It's not till after school is over when Chris has a chance to check his phone again. Of course there's a message from Sebastian waiting.

**Not soon enough.**

Chris is fairly sure that Sebastian is making it seem worse than it really is. He does miss him though, even not seeing his face in class is hard to get used to. He texts him back quickly before driving home.  
  
 **I’m sorry you’re not having fun, but I’m sure it’s not that bad.**  
  
Yes, he’s sure Sebastian is exaggerating things, he isn’t alone, Chris knows Chace is on the trip too, so Sebastian must be having at least a little bit of fun. It helps him to think that Sebastian isn’t totally bored.He waits for a text all night but it never comes, and after checking some homework and eating something, he goes to sleep without hearing back from Sebastian.  
  
It’s not until the next day when the bell rings and tells him he can take a break and go eat lunch, that he sees he a text from Sebastian that must have come an hour ago.  
  
 **Couldn’t text you last night, this is worse than a military trip. Can’t wait to come home and to see you. God I miss you so much… Come rescue me!**  
  
Chris has to admit that the idea of Sebastian wearing a military uniform takes over his mind for a minute. Okay, maybe a little more than a simple minute.  
  
 **Two more days Sebastian, it’s almost over, and I miss you too.**  
  
And that’s true. Chris misses him, even more than he thought he would. Sebastian is always on his mind and he wishes those two days could pass faster. It’s almost the weekend for Chris but Sebastian isn’t coming back before Sunday afternoon. He can’t wait to see his face on Monday morning and he catches himself checking for an answer often, probably too often. This kid has really grown on him, he might like him more than he wants to admit.

It's not until the weekend, when he's home with nothing to do, that Chris realizes just how accustomed he's become to seeing Sebastian every weekend. He doesn’t remember what he was doing with his weekends before Sebastian came into his life, not that he necessarily wants to remember. It just feels… strangenot having him around.

First thing Saturday morning he texts Sebastian, just to let him know he's thinking of him.

**Good morning! Hope you're still surviving. You'll be coming home tomorrow, I hope you can make it that long.**

He's trying to be funny, make Sebastian laugh, but it's hard to tell through texts how serious someone is being.

Around lunchtime, Sebastian finally texts him back.

**I might not. They made us take a hike this morning. And now it's a salad again for lunch. Chris this is ridiculous.**

He has to laugh, again with the salads. He almost feels sorry for Sebastian, but he really doesn't see the problem with him eating healthily.

**Sorry kid. I'd offer to make it up to you when you're back, but I'm having a salad too.**

Sebastian must have some free time, because he texts back immediately.

**I think there are other ways you could make it up to me.**

Another text immediately follows.

**Ugh, can't think about that now though. I have no privacy here.**

Chris would _gladly_ go into their sexting thing again but he knows it can’t happen. But now he can’t stop thinking about all the ways he could make it up to Sebastian, and all the things they did last weekend. How delicious that whipped cream tasted. He _has_ to tease Sebastian a little.  
  
 **You can’t think about that, but I can ;)**  
  
He laughs when Sebastian answers him a minute later.  
  
 **Christ… Chris don’t do that to me. Please don’t.**  
  
Just one last teasing text and he’ll stop, Chris swears. Laughing at his own text.  
  
 **I’m not doing anything ! … Yet ;)**  
  
But he doesn’t want to frustrate Sebastian too much, although if the way he feels is any indication, it’s probably too late, so he sends another text just after.  
  
 **Come on, less than 24 hours, you can make it through kid**.  
  
Sebastian doesn’t text him back as fast as before, answering almost a half hour later. Chris is outside smoking his cigarette when the phone he hasn’t put down for a second vibrates in his hand.  
  
 **Don’t call me kid. And no I can’t make it through.**

Chris knows he's frustrated now and he feels bad. He _won't_ do anything, even though he's not stuck at a camp and could indulge himself in the memories of last weekend. He texts Sebastian back hoping he didn’t upset him too much.

**Sorry. I was only trying to make you laugh. You're not missing anything, honest.**

He doesn't hear back from Sebastian until later that night. He admits he wasn’t sure he’d get any news from him after his little teasing. That was stupid of him to do that while Sebastian specifically asked him to not do it.

**Except you. I'm missing you.**

He’s relieved by Sebastian’s answer even as a sad smile curves on his lips.Chris responds immediately.

**I miss you too.**

Sebastian doesn't send another reply and Chris goes to bed that night feeling more than a little sad.

On Sunday morning, when he wakes up late, there's a text waiting for him.

**Leaving in a few hours. Finally. If I make it through the long drive I just might make it back. To you.**

Chris can’t stop the huge smile that spreads across his face. First because it’s really sweet and secondly because he’ll finally see Sebastian tomorrow and he’s happy the school trip is finally over soon. He texts Sebastian again before leaving his bed.  
  
 **Left yet?**  
  
It’s only after he takes his shower, two hours later he sees a text from Sebastian.  
  
 **About to go in the bus. Eyes everywhere, don’t text me. I’ll talk to you when I’m home. If I come home and don’t die in a car crash, or you know, of boredom.**  
  
Chris laughs at his silliness, and doesn’t reply with anything even though he wants to. He just wants to tell Sebastian how happy he is to know he’s finally coming back, but he waits patiently a new text from him. He waits, beaming all day.

He's almost given up on hearing back from Sebastian before he texts him again.

**Just got home. Wanted to let you know I made it safe.**

Not that he thought anything would happen, but Chris is relieved to know Sebastian is home safely. It takes a second to sink in that the relief has a lot to do with the fact that he'll get to see Sebastian tomorrow. Smiling, he texts him back.

**I'm glad. See I knew you would survive**.

Sebastian must be in his room, by himself because he texts him back immediately.

**Yeah, yeah. I survived. I would have rather spent the week with you. Hell, even just the weekend.**

That’s something Chris can’t say he didn’t want to happen too, because that week made him realize how much he missed hearing from Sebastian more often and see his face every day. _Hell,_ he really did miss the kid this week.  
  
 **I know, I would have loved that too, but we’ll get to do that next week.**  
  
Sebastian answers a few minutes after.  
  
 **I can’t wait to see you… I’m sorry I wish we could talk more but I’m really tired and I didn’t know how much I really missed my bed until I lie on it, not as comfortable as yours, but still better than those crappy things they dare called a bed.**  
  
Chris starts thinking about Sebastian in his bed, and he has to shake his head so as not to bite his lip at the idea.

**Don’t worry about me, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow before lunch. Sweet dreams**.  
  
It’s not that late, so Chris finally eats his dinner and, as he’s feeling impatient, he goes to bed early so the next day will comes faster.

* * * *

Arriving at school Monday morning, Chris can't keep the smile off his face. He does try to be a cheerful teacher, but knowing he'll see Sebastian today, after not seeing him for a week, has him happier than any normal Monday morning ever could.

When Sebastian's class comes into his room, his eyes immediately find Sebastian in the midst of the other students.

_Jesus_ , it's like a punch to the stomach how attractive he is. That's the moment when Chris knows he's head over heels for Sebastian. For a second, it's like no one else is in the room besides the two of them and he has to force himself to stay in his seat and not get up and hug Sebastian.

Instead he just smiles at him, hoping Sebastian can tell from his expression all the things he wants to say, or do, but can't. Hoping no other student will guess what’s behind that huge smile he tries desperately to hide.

And when Sebastian smiles back at him, that beautiful mouth curling into a grin, it takes every ounce of self-control Chris has not to rush over and kiss him.

All during class, he has to fight the urge to glance at him every minute because he missed his face. He missed Sebastian teasing him with his lip licking and lip biting quirks. He missed walking around the room only to get an excuse to bend over Sebastian’s desk and enjoy his reaction. Sneaking his hand across Sebastian’s back just for a second, just like any teacher would do. Except it’s nothing like what another teacher would do, he knows it and Sebastian knows it.

Chris missed Sebastian not even trying to do the work he gives the class, so he can stare at him instead. And he can’t say he’s mad at him for this, especially not today.He missed Sebastian’s stupid remarks and their back and forth banter. He just missed him so much and not only that, his body missed him too because it’s so much more difficult than it usually is for him to not get hard at Sebastian’s teasing.  
  
And he can tell Sebastian is having difficulties with that too. Seeing how much he’s squirming in his seat, and the way he looks at him, even more insistent than he normally is. And there’s also the little notes he keeps writing on his notebook when Chris is walking down his aisle ‘You’re fucking hot.’ ‘I wouldn’t mind if you’d fuck me right now, on that desk.’   
  
All of that and other, more subtle details  tells Chris that Sebastian is having as much trouble as he has staying focused on the class. Not that Sebastian ever really focuses on it. Chris can’t say he’s focusing a lot on today’s lesson either.

Making it through that class period is almost as hard as making it through the week without Sebastian was. When class ends, Chris almost sighs with relief.

Even when the bell rings and the rest of the class jumps up to leave, Sebastian remains seated at his desk. He's flat out staring at Chris and it's the most intense stare Chris has ever seen.

Chris is sitting at his desk when the students start leaving the room. He barely notices the faces as they hand in their assignments on the way out the door. He's too busy watching Sebastian.

When the room is empty, save for the two of them, Sebastian approaches his desk.

“I meant it.” Sebastian says with a grin.  
  
“M-meant what?” Chris isn’t sure if he’s not following everything that’s going on or if he didn’t hear something Sebastian said, but both options are possible considering how little blood is circulating in his brain right now.  
  
“What I wrote,“ Sebastian glances at the almost closed door, then lowers his tone, “That I wouldn’t mind you bending me over my desk and fucking me.”

Even as his cock jumps at Sebastian's words, they get through to his brain too. " _Jesus_ , kid." He looks at Sebastian and there's not even a trace of humor on his face. He's totally serious. "Close the door," he tells him. "Lock it too," he orders. It’s probably a little bit bossy, but Sebastian doesn’t seem to mind.

Sebastian gives him a look, but does what he's told. When the door is closed and locked, he comes over to Chris' desk and stands there, just running his hands along the edge of it. "I missed you," he says quietly.

Chris stands and grasps Sebastian's wrist, brings him closer. "I missed you too," he says just before pulling Sebastian into a kiss.

Chris means it to be gentle but as soon as he tastes Sebastian he can’t hold back anything, kissing him with every ounce of passion and frustration he has. Sebastian seems to do the same, reaching for Chris’ hair with his fingers.   
  
They separate when they’re both out of breath, trying to find air and Chris manages to whisper, “Fuck I want you so bad.” He doesn’t let Sebastian answer and kisses him again, pushing him back against the wall, next to the door.Even with Chris putting his hand behind Sebastian to absorb the shock, Sebastian hits it a little too hard and whines into Chris’ mouth.   
  
“Sorry,” Chris laughs. He doesn’t press his lips against Sebastian’s again,  just stares at him, his eyes darkening with desire. He’s so glad he has a classroom with a door without any window because they sure as hell would have been caught otherwise.

They're both breathing hard, just inches away from each other. Chris knows they don't have much time, but god, he doesn't even think he needs much time.

It's like Sebastian is reading his mind because the next thing he feels is Sebastian's hand, warm and urgent, palming his cock through his pants. "Fuck," he hisses. He knows he should tell Sebastian to stop, but it's the thrill of being caught and the overwhelming need after being apart for a week, that makes him moan and reach for Sebastian instead.

Undoing Sebastian’s belt and opening the button on his jeans, Chris easily finds his way into Sebastian’s underwear, tugging at Sebastian’s lower lip with his teeth.   
  
Sebastian is as hard as he is, and there’s so much Chris wants to do, wants to go down on him, wants to fuck him, wants to kiss him for hours, but there’s no time for that so he just strokes him. Feeling the familiar heat of Sebastian’s cock in his hand, and _fuck,_ he missed him so much.

Sebastian whines into Chris' mouth, but it doesn't take him long to work Chris' zipper down and wrap his hand around Chris' cock.

It's enough and it's not enough at the same time, but time isn't on their side. He sets a fast pace and Sebastian matches his rhythm. It’s needy and desperate for both of them.

It's so hard to keep quiet, the only way he can is to press his lips to Sebastian's and hope that will stop both of them from crying out. _God,_ he missed Sebastian’s moans so much and he has to deprive himself from hearing those little exquisite noises. It’s probably better this way though, because if he was able to hear them he would do it, bend Sebastian over his desk and fuck him.He can tell from the way Sebastian's chest hitches, the way his own breathing is out of control that it won't be long before either of them comes.

It’s so stupid, god they’re _so_ stupid. They just can’t come like that, but neither of them seems to be thinking about that. The faster Chris is stroking Sebastian, the faster Sebastian is doing it back. He can feel Sebastian biting his lip harder than he should, but if that’s the only way to keep him quiet then he doesn’t mind. He _wants_ to make him scream, but all he can do his shush him and it’s a torture.  
  
“Chris” Sebastian whines, cries, breathes, begs.

The way his name sounds, the Sebastian's voice sounds saying his name is just too much. He shivers. He wants to be loud, wants to let Sebastian know just how good he feels right now, but he doesn't. He can only say his name in response. "Sebastian..." it comes out a half whisper, half moan and the moment those words leave his lips, Sebastian tenses. His whole body shakes and he comes all over Chris hand. It's only a few seconds and Chris' orgasm follows right behind.

They're sweating and shaking and, god, they're both a sticky mess. It was one of the stupidest things Chris has ever done, but it was also one of the absolute hottest things he's ever done.

Panting, and forcing his eyes open, Chris looks at Sebastian, and _god_ , the kid is staring at him, licking his fingers, like Chris needed anymore teasing after that.   
  
He wants to say something, to joke, but the sight of it is too much and he can’t organize his thoughts, so he just presses his lips against Sebastian’s again. There are words he wants to say, words that go clearly through his mind and that he wants to tell Sebastian, but he doesn’t.   
  
Instead, Chris tries to stay quiet when he whispers, still trying to catch his breath, “God, that was _fucking stupid._ ” He laughs softly, smiling so Sebastian won’t take it the wrong way.

Sebastian laughs a little too, still licking his fingertips. "It was worth it though, right?"

Chris would laugh even more if they weren't both a mess. Sebastian looking for approval even as he's standing there looking so cocky.

"Yeah, it was worth it. I can't believe I'm saying it, but it was worth it." He kisses him a little more gently this time. He's trying to figure out how to hide the stain on his pants and where he can wipe his hand clean. "Shit, we're out of time, Sebastian. You'd better get to your next class."

Sebastian’s smile disappears gradually at the realization he _has_ to leave Chris now, his expression half pouting, half sad.  
  
“ _God_ , no don’t make that face.” Chris says when he notices it, “You know I hate when you make that face.” Chris sighs for a second and smiles again “What about a tutoring session tomorrow hm?”

Sebastian brightens at Chris' suggestion. "Promise?" he asks.

"Yeah, that's a promise," Chris assures him. "I'm not done with you yet." He sighs again, wondering what he's going to do with the mess he made for the rest of the day.

Sebastian rummages around in his backpack, pulling out a hoodie. He ties it around his waist, before walking towards the door. "Thanks, _Mr. Evans_."


	11. I’m So Hard But This Is Really Awkward

The bell rings, announcing to Sebastian that his school day is finally over. It doesn’t take much time for him to shove his stuff into his bag and leave the classroom followed closely by Chace. If it’s not Chris’ class, Sebastian sees no reason to spend more time than necessary in the classroom.  
  
“Your house or mine?” Chace asks.  
  
“It’s my mom’s day off today,” Sebastian says, walking down the hallway.  
  
“Fine. Mine then,” his friend laughs.   
  
Sebastian’s about to answer, to say something but they pass Chris’ class, and his door happens to be completely open. Of course, he looks inside. Chris is standing up, in front of his class, still talking, as sexy as usual. He doesn’t notice Sebastian, doesn’t look in his direction. It’s just one or two seconds but it’s enough to make Sebastian try to hide the smile growing on his lips.  
  
“Seb ?” he hears Chace calling his name.  
  
“Let’s get out of here,” he jokes, walking faster to reach the double doors at the end of the hallway.

They only have a short walk to Chace’s house, which is good because Sebastian’s mind is no longer thinking about hanging out with his friend. Instead he’s thinking about Chris. It isn’t often he gets to observe him, to watch him when he’s not staring back at him.  He’s already beautiful when he’s looking at him straight in the eyes, but it’s when Chris isn’t looking at him that Sebastian has enough clarity to think about how lucky he is to have Chris in his life. Because Chris is stunning, but he’s also way more than that. Sebastian still doesn’t understand what Chris sees in him, but he isn’t going to think about it too much right now, or complain.

He’s barely paying attention to Chace, who chatters away as they walk. Thankfully, Chace doesn’t seem to notice. Sebastian’s pretty sure he’s talking about comic books, or something.

Inside Chace’s house though, he knows he’ll have to pay attention, actually contribute to the conversation. He tries, really he does, but his mind seems to not be cooperative today. All he can think about is Chris.

“Hey, you hungry?” Chace asks.

“Sure.” Sebastian is never one to turn down food.

“What do you want? There’s chips, cookies and I think we have apples in the fridge,” Chace offers.

Sebastian nearly chokes. No, he won’t be choosing an apple. “I’ll take some cookies.”

“Cool, let me grab some.”

While Chace is grabbing the cookies, Sebastian wanders into the living room, sitting on the couch. Laughing a little internally, thinking about what Chris would say, probably insult his cookies and tell him how unhealthy they are. With all the activity Chris makes him do lately, he can definitely eat the box of cookies without worrying about get fat, not that he worries about it anyway. And now he’s thinking about a particular activity he does with Chris, and his teeth brushes his lower lip at that thought.

“Hey, you want a drink too?” Chace calls from the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure,” he answers. Smiling, Sebastian pulls out his phone and sends Chris a text.

**Saw you this afternoon when I walked past your room. I just thought you should know how hot you looked.**

“‘D’you think we should start that stupid science assignment?” Chace asks bringing a glass full of soda to Sebastian.  
  
“Dunno man, that kinda bored me already,” Sebastian answers lying back on the couch. He would do that assignment in a heartbeat if Chris was there, helping him, or no, never mind, he’ll probably wouldn’t do it then either. He would be too busy doing other things.  
  
“Yeah, I wonder why.” He hears Chace laughing but his phone vibrates on the table and he straightens to catch it a little bit too quickly.  
  
 **You’re checking me out now?**  
  
Again, like  nearly every time he texts with Chris, Sebastian can’t stop his lips from curving into a smile.  
  
“Is that your boyfriend again?” Sebastian looks up to Chace without saying anything. “C’mon don’t even try to think of a lie, I know that smile.”   
  
“Well, hm, yeah, sort of,” Sebastian answers lying back again on the couch, his phone still in his hand. It’s half because he wants to escape this conversation, and half because Chris is slowly invading all his thoughts that Sebastian stares at his screen.  
  
“I still don’t get why you don’t wanna tell me who it is.”

Sebastian is ready to reply, if he can even think of a proper answer to give Chace,  but his phone vibrates in his hand and it’s a text from Chris again.  
  
 **I like the little note you left me**.  
  
The smile on Sebastian’s face widens as he remembers the dirty personal comment he left on his homework especially for Chris. He forgets he was about to answer Chace and texts Chris back instead. He’s being the worst friend ever today.  
  
 **Oh yeah ? Do you always start by correcting my work Mr. Evans?**  
  
“Seb?” He hears while typing on his keyboard “Hey, uh, still with me?”   
  
“Yeah,” he coughs, dropping the phone on his lap. “Yeah I am.”  
  
“So?” Chace shakes his head slowly, waiting for Sebastian to answer his previous question with a smirk.  
  
“So?” Sebastian says confused, moving his eyes from side to side, thinking, and looking back at Chace “So what?” God, he’s really the worst friend ever. He would apologize if he could even think of an apology.  
  
Chace laughs “Why don’t you want to tell me who the lucky mystery man is?”   
  
Sebastian’s phone vibrates again and he glances at the brightening screen.  
  
 **No, sometimes I keep your work for the end.**

Sebastian can’t decide whether to answer Chris’ text first or answer Chace first.

“I dunno, it’s not anyone you know. That’s all,” Sebastian lies. He texts Chris back without paying attention to Chace’s reaction.

**Why do you save it for the end? Don’t you want to see what I have to say?**

With a smirk he turns to Chace. “What?”

“You must like him a lot, is all.” There’s a little smile playing on the corner of his lips, and he can tell Chace is sincere when he says that. As if he really cares about Sebastian and he’s happy he has someone to make him happy. Sebastian should feel guilty to be this absent from the conversation, but honestly, he really isn’t.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess I do.”

“Well, good for you. Not even gonna tell me his name, eh?” Chace asks.

Sebastian can feel his cheeks heating up. Should he tell the truth? Would Chace even know Mr. Evans’ first name was Chris? Should he lie? It’s easier just to refuse to talk about it. He shakes his head.

Chace tosses a cookie at him. “Fine man, whatever.”  He laughs as Sebastian throws up his arms in defense.

Sebastian’s phone vibrates again, another text from Chris.

**I do. I like seeing what dirty things you write for me. I save it for the end so it doesn’t distract me from grading the rest of my papers.**

“Hey, Earth to Sebastian,” Chace interrupts the dirty thoughts that are slowly taking over.

“Hmm?”

“You wanna watch a movie, since you don’t seem interested in working on our science assignment?”

“Hang on, lemme send a text first.”

**Distracted how?**

Having texted Chris back, he turns his attention to Chace. “Sure, what should we watch?”

“What about Iron Man?” Chace smiles exaggeratedly.   
  
“Ugh, your superheroes again?” Sebastian fakes a repugnant expression. “Sure, whatever, _nerd_ ,” he finally smiles back.  
  
While Chace is busy starting the movie, Sebastian receives another text.  
  
 **Distracted by my imagination.**  
  
Sebastian bites his lip, remembering the exact words he wrote on the paper this time and he barely hears Chace saying something as he replies to Chris.  
  
 **What do you imagine right now?**  
  
The movie starts and he can’t seem to really pay attention to it, first because it’s probably the third time Chace is making him watch this movie and secondly because he’s getting impatient to get an answer from Chris. Finally after a few minutes he has it, and he rushes to open the text.  
  
 **Well, with a little help from your note, I imagine you lying in my bed completely naked and waiting for me, which doesn’t help me to focus on the homework and that’s why I usually keep yours as the last one.**  
  
Sebastian has to squirm on the couch and re-adjust his position because the simple idea of Chris thinking about him naked kind of turns him on. He replies quickly, eager to know what else is on Chris’ mind.  
  
 **And what would you do if I was waiting for you, naked in your bed?**  
  
He looks up at Chace, captivated by the movie; his obsession is almost ridiculous and he needs to comment on what he’s observing right now. “You sure I’m the gay one between the two of us?”  
  
“What?” Chace turns to look at him.  
  
“Have you seen yourself watching this movie? You’re almost drooling dude,” he says, mocking him gently.

“Hey! Iron Man is a very important movie. If it wasn’t so successful they never would have made all those other Marvel movies,” Chace says defensively.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sebastian says. He tosses a cookie at Chace this time, who catches it and eats it, grinning.

“Hey, y’know what’s funny,” Chace says. “Doesn’t Mr. Evans look a little bit like Captain America?”

“What?” Sebastian asks distractedly. For a second Sebastian wonders why in the hell is Chace making him watch Iron Man for probably the third time when there’s a movie that is apparently begging to be watched.

“Oh, right, I haven’t made you watch that one yet. Remind me and we’ll watch it next time,” he says before turning his attention back to the movie. Well he isn’t going to forget, especially if next time he’s faced with the prospect of watching Iron Man _one more time._

He’s glad Chace is engrossed in the movie again, because Chris’ next text is pretty explicit.

**Well, since you asked, if you were waiting naked in my bed, I’d have to start with kissing you all over. But I don’t think I’d stop at just kissing.**

Glancing at Chace, Sebastian adjusts his position on the couch again before texting Chris back. He probably shouldn’t be texting Chris like this while he’s hanging out with his friend. But it’s not like his behavior is exemplary today so...

**So, what else besides kissing?**

Yeah, he probably should tell Chris he’s hanging out with Chace, but he’s more interested in Chris answer.

**I’d want to lick you all over too. I remember how much you liked that before. Remember how my tongue felt on your skin?**

He’s _definitely_ thankful Chace is so focused on his movie because he apparently doesn’t notice the strangled noise he makes. Oh, yes, he remembers exactly how it felt.  
  
 **I remember that… That’s all you would do ? I mean, if I was there, I’d probably be asking for more…**  
  
Oh my god, it hits him as he presses the send button. Is he sexting his teacher at his friend’s house? Because that’s what it looks like, and now he’s hard, and he isn’t sure of what he’s supposed to do. He tries to focus on the movie, he already saw it so it’s not that complicated to follow it while missing a few parts, but it’s a whole other level of difficulty to do that when Chris is texting him back.  
  
 **If you were there and asking for more, then I’ll keep doing what I want until you feels the need to beg**.  
  
Oh, wow, okay, if he wasn’t fully erect before, that text just completed what was missing for it to happen. Glancing at Chace, to be sure he’s still not paying any attention to his dirty preoccupation, Sebastian types on his phone.  
  
 **And if I beg you, implore you to take me, with cries of frustration, how would you do it**?  
  
Sexting his teacher at his friend’s house, a friend who is also one of Chris’ students… That’s definitely wrong. And exciting. And frustrating. Oh hell it’s more frustrating than anything else and his erection his pressing against his jean painfully.

Chris’ answer seems to take forever. While he’s waiting, Sebastian tries to figure out what to do about how hard Chris has made him. Luckily Chace’s couch has a lot of throw pillows. Grabbing one, Sebastian places it in his lap, hopefully hiding his erection from Chace. He isn’t even trying to pay attention to the movie now, just glancing at the screen, haunted by the feeling of Chris tongue on him.

**If you were naked on my bed and I’d already kissed you all over and licked you open and you were begging me, saying please… then I’d have to give you what you were begging for.**

He barely manages to bite back a moan. Chace spins around and gives him a funny look. “What’s wrong, Seb?”

“Uh, nothing, just you know, this part of the movie is really tense.”

Chace nods and turns back to the movie. He doesn’t even know what part of the movie it is. He couldn’t care less, can’t focus enough for that. Chris is torturing him, because let’s call it what it is, this is torture. So he’s just glad he didn’t say something stupid that would have catch Chace’s attention.

Shit, maybe he’d better tell Chris that this isn’t the best time to do this.

**Listen, I have to tell you something. I’m at Chace’s house right now and we’re watching a movie and… god, Chris, I’m so hard but this is really awkward, we probably shouldn’t be doing this now.**

He’s pretty sure Chace just said something but he can’t get his attention out of Chris’ text.Chris answer is almost as frustrating as his erection.

**That’s too bad. You started this after all. And you might be at a friend’s house, but I’m home… all alone and I don’t have to worry about how hard I am, because I can touch myself while I’m thinking of you, all spread out and waiting to be fucked.**

Oh. _Oh_. Oh no. Chris don’t do that, Sebastian thinks. He doesn’t have the right to do that. Now in addition to thinking about what Chris was texting, he can only imagine Chris touching himself. Thinking of him. He tightens his grip on the poor pillow.  
  
 **Chris please don’t do that.**  
  
Like it wasn’t difficult enough Chris decides it’s all fun to him to tease him even more, and texts him back quickly, like he almost had wrote the text at the same time Sebastian sent his.  
  
 **Because that’s what I’m thinking about now. You. Shivering and waiting for me to fill you with my cock, because that’s what you would beg for wouldn’t you? It’s too bad you’re not here. I would do that, I would make you wait and wait until you beg me, you’re always so impatient.**  
  
Oh god. What is he supposed to do? He should certainly stop making those weird noises that make Chace turns to him again.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“Oh yeah I just,” he coughs on purpose, “Just choked on a cookie. I’m fine.”  
  
Chace raises an eyebrow, not entirely convinced but he looks back at the screen when Sebastian grabs his glass of soda. Thank goodness. But that doesn’t last long and Chris texts him again even if he hasn’t answered yet.  
  
 **I would let you ride me. I remember how much you like it, and I could look at you, beautiful, and rolling your hips, fucking yourself.**  
  
Okay Sebastian needs to do something and most of all stop making those noises because Chace will understand what’s going on but Chris doesn’t seem to want to stop and he receive a third text, because apparently the two first ones weren’t distracting enough,  almost choking for real this time as take a sip.  
  
 **You know I’m touching myself right now ? Because of you, because I can.**

Biting down on his knuckles so he stays quiet, Sebastian sets down his glass of soda, not wanting to spill it. How is he supposed to respond to that? This pure torture. Chris needs to stop talking like this. And Sebastian needs to stop biting his knuckles this hard.

**You cannot be serious. Do you realize what you saying that is doing to me?**

There, maybe Chris will stop and there might be enough time left in the movie for his erection to go away. Again he hears Chace speaking but he doesn’t listen to what he’s rambling about. He doesn’t need to, doesn’t want to, there is ninety-nine percent chance that it’s about how good looking the actor who plays Iron Man is, and Chris is texting him again anyway.

**I hope it’s making you as hard as I am. Because that’s what I’m picturing now, while I’m stroking myself.**

_Jesus_ , he’s going to bite through his knuckles at this rate. Sebastian presses the pillow down against his lap only to realize that makes things worse. Because he’s so hard and that pressure feels too good. Taking a deep breath, he texts Chris back.

**Please, I’m begging you, STOP. I’m sitting here on Chace’s couch while he makes me watch this stupid movie again and yes, I’m hard. I hope you’re happy, because I can’t do anything about it**.

Chris’ response is almost immediate.

**All I’m hearing is that you’re hard and begging me. So yeah, that makes me pretty happy. I thought you already knew that.**

So, Chris isn’t going to stop. That doesn’t leave him with a whole lot of options. If there even is an option. He can’t really leave Chace right now, without any explanation, and even if he despises the idea, they still have that science assignment to do. _God,_ Chris has to stop.

**Seriously, Chris. What am I supposed to do if you won’t stop?**

Chris replies again quickly, and he can only imagine his voice as he reads the text.  
  
 **Not my problem baby. Do what you want, I know what I’m doing, and I’m jerking myself off thinking about you begging.**  
  
Holy fucking _God_. He has to cough again to hide the _groan_ he just let escape from his throat. He hears Chris’ voice distinctly in his head, he hears Chris calling him ‘baby’ and he sees him jerking himself. Oh _Fuck._  
  
“You sure you’re okay dude?” Chace asks, looking concerned. He has no idea what kind of frustration Sebastian is going through right now.  
  
“Hm?” This is your chance Seb, take it, he tells himself. “Know what? I think my stomach doesn’t like your cookies. I’m just… I’ll be back,” he says, getting up on his feet, sliding his cell phone in his pocket and praying that Chace won’t notice the obvious erection he has.   
  
He walks to the bathroom upstairs and locks himself in. What in the hell is Chris making him do. Inside the bathroom, he takes out his phone and sees Chris has sent him another text.  
  
 **You know that I would jerk you off if you were on top of me right? My fingers around your cock, and me enjoying the view you’d offer me.**

He knows he won’t have much time before Chace gets suspicious, or comes to check on him. Well, probably not, he is awfully into that dumb movie. Sebastian doesn’t even know how he can still manage to type on his phone while all he wants to do his stroke himself at the vision Chris is sharing.

**I hope you’re happy. I’m locked in the bathroom now, because I’m so fucking hard from all of your teasing texts. I couldn’t sit and watch that movie for one minute more.**

Now that he’s texted Chris he quickly unbuttons his jeans, barely sliding the zipper down before shoving the jeans and his boxers down over his hips. With his phone in one hand, he wraps the other around his cock. _Oh god._ It feels so good after suffering for so long. He’s only stroked himself a few times when Chris texts him back.

**Jesus, Sebastian. Are you serious? That’s so fucking hot. I’m picturing it right now, it’s just as hot as picturing you fucking yourself on my cock.**

He texts Chris, other hand still stroking himself.

**I wish you were in this bathroom with me.**

He won’t have to worry about Chace wondering why he’s gone so long, it’s not going to be long before he comes. He hears Chris again, hears him whispering ‘baby’ in his ear, hears Chris talking, asking him what he wants, making him beg.Oh fuck, _fuck._ He can see it so clearly, Chris under him and looking at him with that intense gaze, the way he looks at him and there’s shock coursing through his spine. Chris next text sends another shiver through him

**If I were there with you, I’d fuck you right up against the bathroom counter, so we could watch ourselves in the mirror. Would you like that? Getting to see my face while I fucked you from behind?**

Sebastian can’t help but look at the mirror besides him. He looks so damn ridiculous he has to laugh for a second but then he remembers why he was looking at the mirror and he strokes himself a little faster. Oh god. This is all he can picture now. Forgetting all the riding and the jerking, this is what his fantasy is made of now, watching Chris take him from behind.He looks back at his phone to reply with a good amount of difficulty.  
  
 **God, god yes. I want that. I want you. I want to touch you I want to see you I want to feel you inside me**.  
  
He leans on the door behind him, close his eyes and pictures it in his mind as he waits for Chris’ answer. Opens them only when his phone vibrates in the hand that’s not busy giving himself pleasure.  
  
 **I’m gonna come Sebastian, because of you. I know you’re hard, I know you’re touching yourself, I know you looked at the mirror in the bathroom. I want you to come too and next time I’ll fuck you in front of a mirror so you’ll see me fucking you from behind, you want that right baby?**  
  
 _Oh._ Oh. Sebastian really won’t take long to come, not if Chris keeps texting him like that with that kind of ideas, and his fingers tightens their grip a little harder before he text him back.  
  
 **I’m gonna come Chris, Jesus I’m gonna come.**  
  
He is. He’s going to come in his friend’s bathroom. What is wrong with him. All the blame is on Chris, he thinks. But Chris is home, and he can do it and Sebastian isn’t it’s _so wrong_ , but so exciting.

Closing his eyes and stroking faster, Sebastian does come. Somehow he manages to stay standing, quietly whimpering as he comes all over his hand and the bathroom floor. He knows he’s making a mess even with his eyes shut tightly. He leans heavily against the bathroom door, trying to catch his breath.

When he’s recovered enough to look at his phone, there’s a text from Chris waiting.

**Fuck, Sebastian. That was so hot. I meant what I said. I’ll fuck you in front of the mirror sometime, if that’s what you want.**

He has to laugh a little, Chris is crazy, they’re both crazy.

**I hope you’re happy. I have a mess to clean up and then I have to go back downstairs and sit with Chace and pretend nothing happened.**

Chris’s reply is immediate.

**I am happy. I got to be the one teasing and sending dirty texts at an inappropriate time. I never knew how much fun it was.**

He texts him back quickly. He wants to avoid any other distraction Chris could think of.

**Yeah, yeah. I’m turning off my phone now. I’ll text you later.**

Setting his phone on the counter, he cleans himself up, pulling his pants and look crossing his face boxers back up before he cleans up the mess he made on the floor. Satisfied that everything looks the way it did before, he washes his hands, shoves his phone back in his pocket and hurries back downstairs. He’s still a little out of breath and probably flushed, he can only hope Chace won’t be suspicious.

Hopefully Chace doesn’t notice he was gone as long as he was. The movie isn’t over yet, well it only has a few minutes left but it’s still playing when he comes back to the living room.  
  
“You okay?” Chace asks for the he-doesn’t-know-how-many time.   
  
“Hm,” he coughs. “Yeah, just the cookies you know.”  
  
“Yeah.” Chace laughs. “The cookies.”   
  
Sebastian isn’t sure if Chace noticed anything out of the ordinary or not but he’s sure as hell he isn’t going to ask him.


	12. That’s Not Fair To Him

After almost a month since their indiscretion in class, they fall into a comfortable routine. Tutoring sessions few times a week where they don’t study much, and class where Sebastian doesn’t pay attention but somehow manages to have average grades. Sebastian says it’s just a miracle, but Chris knows it’s because Sebastian is only pretending to not care about school and grades, but he really is a  smart kid with a lot of opportunities ahead of him.  
  
But the end of the year is coming and Chris can’t stop thinking about what it means. They never talk about it but he knows they eventually will have to spend more time away from each other, and maybe take split paths. Nothing he wants to do, but that’s what he’ll probably _have_ to do. Sebastian’s future is more important than what he wants.  
  
That’s what he’s thinking about right now, looking at Sebastian pulling on his shirt, still sweaty but wearing that smile he loves. Chris has known all along that this wouldn’t last forever. It was something he never should have let happen, but he’s still glad it did. He needs to bring the subject into their conversation but he’s still trying to find the right words.

"You know, when you go to college, you'll have to spend a lot more time actually studying. Good thing I won't be around to distract you." He's not sure why he said it that way, he laughs then, trying to let Sebastian know he's being funny. The more he repeats his words in his head, the more they don’t sound right. Sebastian’s reaction just confirms it.

Sebastian freezes, a strange look crossing his face, losing his smile in a half-second.  "What are you talking about?" he asks slowly.

"Just thinking, you know? College is a lot of fun, but it's a lot more work than high school." He’s trying to not upset Sebastian, lightening the subject.

Sebastian jerks his chin up, staring at Chris then. Staring at him defiantly.

"Don't look at me like that kid, you know I'm just trying to think about the future. Graduation is coming up soon. How many colleges have you applied to?"

"None." Sebastian's tone is flat, his eyes still locked on Chris'.

“No-None?” He’s not accusatory, just surprised.  
  
“None.” Sebastian shrugs.  
  
They’re talking about future, Sebastian’s future, for the first time and Chris can’t stop thinking they probably should have had this conversation much earlier.  
  
“Why none? I mean, College is great Sebastian why wouldn’t you want to go?”  
  
“I’d rather stay with you.” Sebastian answers like it should be obvious.  
  
“But you… you can’t, that’s—” Chris stops himself realizing what he just said, noticing the change in Sebastian’s expression. That’s not what he meant, maybe it was but that’s not how he wanted to say it, it was maladroit and insensitive and he can see Sebastian tensing himself. That’s not the look he was trying to get, but Sebastian’s answer… This isn’t what’s supposed to happen, what he’s supposed to answer. Sebastian is putting Chris above his own future and that’s what Chris doesn’t want, what he never wanted, this is why their relationship is wrong. _So wrong_. It hits him right at this instant. This is why it’s wrong and why he should have never let it happen. He’s ruining Sebastian’s future, he can only blame himself for this. He’s the adult, he’s supposed to be responsible but being around Sebastian is blinding him. He let his _own_ desires take over their lives, _Sebastian’s life._ He’s not being responsible at all, he was selfish all this time.

"What do you mean I can't?" Sebastian asks, his eyes widening. "You're not going to want me around after I graduate?"

No, that isn’t the subject, Chris thinks. This has nothing to do with Sebastian, or them, it’s Chris. He’s the reason everything is going so incredibly wrong. He’s so mad at himself and there is no way to fix that. It’s too late, too late because he attached himself to Sebastian, and he knows Sebastian did too. It’s too late because they shared so many things already, things they never should have shared. It was forbidden, _it is forbidden._ There are rules, but Chris was selfish enough to create his own. And he’s so deeply, incredibly mad at himself, because besides hurting himself he’s mostly hurting Sebastian.

"I was just trying to tell you how important college is. I know it's hard work but it's so worth it. I really think you should apply to a few, think about it seriously."

He’s trying so hard to pick up the pieces, to find a way out, to not upset Sebastian even more.

"You just want to get rid of me!" Sebastian's tone is accusing, he's on his feet now, hands clenched into fists. "I'm about to graduate and you're already thinking about moving on and trying to get rid of me!"

“What? No!” Chris is offended by his reaction. “Why would you think that?!” He’s trying his best to not raise his tone even if Sebastian is yelling now. He doesn’t want to get rid of him, that shouldn’t even be an issue. He’s yelling and he’s mad, and this all because of Chris.  
  
“Because that’s what you’re doing!”   
  
“N—” Chris can’t even say a word, Sebastian doesn’t let him and he’s never seen him like that before.  
  
“I can’t believe you! I can’t believe it’s happening again!” Sebastian stops to whisper “Oh my god I’m so stupid...” lifting a hand to cover his mouth.  
  
“What do you mean _again_?” Chris is stupefied and confused, did he just compared him to his ex? Has it gone that far? He wants to believe it’s an unfair accusation, that’s what he believes, but honestly, subconsciously he can’t, what he’s doing right now is even worse than what he knows that guy did to him.  
  
“You’re a liar!” Sebastian’s eyes were already red but now there are tears rolling down his face, as his mouth contracts with anger. “You just wanted to mess around with a high school kid, that’s all it was to you, just some secret fling and now that I’m going to graduate, you’re sick of me and you can’t wait till I leave!”

Sebastian's words, his accusations, are hurtful. What they have, what Chris feels for him isn't like that at all. "No!" Chris practically shouts. "That's not true at all!" Sebastian can’t simply reduce what they have to just screwing around, like it’s nothing, it’s exactly the opposite. What they have is too much.

"Stop it, you're a liar. You used me just like _he_ did." Sebastian spits the words at him. "It was just worse with you because you've been pretending you cared all this time."

The fact, the mere idea that Sebastian could think those things, would say that, make that comparison, it's enough to make Chris really want to shout now. "I just don't want you to miss out on doing something with your life! I don't want to be responsible for corrupting you, for screwing up your future."

It’s getting out of control. And it’s all his fault, and seeing Sebastian like this, this is awful. _God,_ Chris is awful. He’s the worst person in the universe at this moment. He’s so sorry, he screwed up. It should have never happened and now Sebastian is the one suffering because of it. He screwed up so bad that Sebastian is comparing him to his ex.

"Just stop it." Sebastian won't even look at him now, his voice is thick with tears. "Don't lie to me Chris. You just don't want me around anymore. I'm getting to _old_ for you."

"You know, for such a smart kid, you can be pretty stupid. It's you, it's _always_ been about you. You got under my skin, made me do crazy things. And yeah, I want you to go away to college, to get out of this stupid town and make something of yourself. Not because I want you to leave, not because I'm sick of you. It's because I love you, you stupid ass!" Chris is angry enough to yell, but after the words are out of his mouth it hits him that he really shouldn't have yelled the way he did, what he did.

There, he said it. He refused to believe it for so long, but it was obvious. He’s in love with Sebastian.

Sebastian stares at him now, gauging his words, scanning his face. Chris wants to take it back, not because it’s untrue but because that’s not how he should have said it. It’s a habit tonight to not be able to express what he wants without screwing everything up apparently. The look on Sebastian face is worse than his own abhorrence for yelling those words for the first time.

But what Sebastian answers is worse than anything else.  
  
“Don’t say things you don’t really mean.” Sebastian finally spits, bitter. His chin is trembling, his lips too. “Don’t do that to me. If I mattered to you at any point, don’t do that to me.” He’s speaking quietly, but his tone is almost begging. Tears won’t stop rolling on his face, ending their race on his lips and jaw.  
  
Chris is shocked, bewildered. Sebastian doesn’t believe him. After everything they’ve been through, everything they shared he still believes it’s a lie. It hurts him, deeply, it hurts him to know Sebastian doubts his feelings for him. He makes a step forward, he doesn’t know why. He wants to hug him, to talk more quietly, to tell him it’s all a misunderstanding and they can work through this. Sebastian needs to know he’s not playing, he’s not lying. 

He doesn’t care about any damn rules, his own or the ones he should have respected in the first place. What Chris cares about right now is Sebastian, and the way Sebastian’s reacting, physically, but also with his words, it’s like someone just knocked Chris out.

He doesn’t care about any damn thing, he would do anything, _anything,_ to just forget it. Letting Sebastian into his life was the stupidest decision ever but it was also the greatest. And he doesn’t regret it one bit. He did, he thought it, and he still believes that it should have never happened. But it did. It happened and he wouldn’t go change it. He wouldn’t give back any second of it and he’s selfish, he knows it, but seeing Sebastian like this makes him want to be selfish.

He can’t let him escape him, he needs him, he loves him.  
  
“Don’t.” Sebastian stops him, “I hate you.” He adds, emphasizing every word, not breaking their eye contact for a second.

Still staring at Chris, Sebastian shoves his shoes on and grabs his hoodie. He doesn’t even say goodbye as he heads for the door. Simply gives Chris one last look through his tears and slams the door in Chris’ face.

It’s hard, harsh, it hurts more than any kind of punch or kick Chris has ever endured. It feels like the ground is falling out from under his feet and a cold shiver goes through his spine, freezing him to his bones

Chris is too stunned to move for a second. How did things go sour so quickly? How could he feel so many emotions and think so many thing in such a short time?

 Reaching for the doorknob, he wonders if he should go after Sebastian, chase him down on the sidewalk. He knows he’s still angry enough to shout and Sebastian is already in tears, so maybe that isn’t the best idea. They both need time to cool off. It’s still a shock that Sebastian said he hated him. How could he misinterpret things so badly?  How could Sebastian say he hates him after he’d said he loves him? True, he knows he probably shouldn’t have shouted it, but he meant it. Means it.

Maybe he deserved it. That’s what he gets for being a complete self-centered asshole. He loves Sebastian and now Sebastian hates him.

With a sigh, Chris sinks into a chair. His heart is screaming to go after Sebastian, but he decides to give him some space, some time instead. Pulling out his phone, he sends him a short text.

**I’m sorry. I never lied to you, not before, not now. We need to talk about this. Please text me back or call me. Please, Sebastian.**

He waits impatiently for an answer all night, smoking cigarette after cigarette. He can’t stop replaying their conversation in his head, trying to understand where everything fucked up. But there is no answer. No text. No call. Nothing. And he starts wondering if Sebastian even made home. Wonders if there’s a way to put things back together. If not going after him was the right choice.  
  
He even starts wondering if maybe it’s the best thing that could happened to Sebastian. He didn’t apply to one college, not even one. He doesn’t want to be the one ruining Sebastian’s future, although it may be too late.   
  
But the words he shouted and the words Sebastian said haunt him. How could that happened? What wrong things has he done to make Sebastian believe, even for a second, he played him? Or that he wants to get rid of him? Never. If it were his choice, he would keep Sebastian close for the rest of his life. But that’s not fair to him.

He doesn’t sleep much that night, drowning in his thoughts, hoping for a sign, hoping he’ll have a chance to make things right with Sebastian the next day.

Because he loves him, he isn’t going to take that back.


	13. He Really Thought All Of That

When he slams the door in Chris' face, Sebastian doesn't even flinch. For a second he actually hopes the door hit Chris. He's crying and he's angry and it's like the thing with Sean all over again. Only worse. Worse because Chris told him he wasn't like Sean, told him he was special. Told him lies.

It's a good thing the walk home is a familiar route because he can barely see through his tears. When he does get home, he's relieved to see his mom is still at work. The last thing he wants to do is explain to her why he's crying.

There's no point in trying to do anything, homework or having dinner. He can't seem to stop crying and he hates himself for it. Climbing into bed, not even bothering to get undressed, Sebastian still can't stop. Sobs wrack his body and it doesn't take long before his pillow is soaked.

He forces himself to be quiet when he hears his mom come home. He knows she'll come check on him and he's still so angry, so ashamed and hurt that he can't seem to prepare a good excuse to tell her.

He tries his best to stop crying, just for a second, at least to be as quiet as possible when he hears her walking upstairs. Sinks his teeth as hard as he can into his lower lip to focus on something else, to focus on different kind of pain, not the one in his heart.   
  
Knocking at the door, his mother calls out, “Sebastian? Sweetie, are you in your room?”  
  
He wants to reply, to tell her to not come in but he can’t talk and even if he could his voice would be too rough. She knocks again, warning him that she’s about to come in, and he bites down even harder. He’s lying there, curled in on himself, face turned towards the wall but even though the room is completely dark his mother doesn’t turn on the lights when she opens the door.  
  
“Are you okay honey?”  
  
“Yeah.” Most of the letters strangle in his throat and to his ears, his voice sounds weak. He knows how pathetic he sounds, how pathetic he is.  
  
“What’s wrong? Tell me.” She sounds worried.  
  
“Just not feeling well.” He’s having difficulty breathing correctly. “Please leave me alone,” he whispers, trying to sound as polite as possible.

It was the wrong thing to say, of course his mother is going to be concerned about him. She places a hand on his forehead feeling for a fever. "Hmm." That's all she says and he refuses to look at her so he doesn't know what she's thinking.

"Please go away," he croaks, turning his face in her direction, trying not to be rude. He just wants to be left alone.

"Do you want me to make you any dinner? I can bring you soup?" She knows when he really is sick he loves for her to bring him soup in bed. She doesn’t say a thing about his red, wet eyes, or the marks on the lip he bit so hard. He’s thankful for that.

He can't speak, the tears are coming again and he knows he'll just end up wailing. He just shakes his head and then turns to face the wall again, hoping she'll get the hint and leave.

She does, eventually, and he's left alone again with all of his thoughts. He wants to yell and scream, but he doesn't, doesn't want to alarm his mother. A tiny voice in his head chimes in with how nice it would be to have someone to hold him while he cries, but all that does is make him think of Chris, sending him into a fresh round of hysterics.

Drawing his knees to his chest, he curls up as tightly as he can. Nothing makes the tears stop and he's been crying so long his head hurts and his stomach is in knots.

He feels empty and he can’t stop thinking about _everything_. He wants to punch himself at every memory his brain decides to remind him of. Chris’ smile when he looks at him, the way his eyes brighten when he’s playing with him, trying to tease him. How secure he felt in his arms and how much he trusted him, god, he trusted him _too much_.  
  
Just thinking about Chris makes him sick, and when the thought of having class with him tomorrow runs through his mind, he’s sure he’s actually going to _be_ sick. He feels it, in his stomach, in his throat. And the flashes of Chris in front of him, staring at him from his desk, discretely licking his lip just for him to see, they all come back at once. He cries even more, praying he won’t throw up.  
  
Biting his pillow so he doesn’t yell when he remembers how it felt to share Chris’ bed, how it felt to have his hands on him. How could he have played him for that long? His fists tighten when he hears Chris’ words again, he can hear them perfectly.   
  
He swears for a second he can sense Chris’ arm around his waist and hear him whisper ‘baby’ in his ear. He’s shaking, and he cries, his sobs heaving and dry, drained from any tears. At least he’s crying silently, his head hurts so much, but that’s not the most horrible thing right now.

His stomach is mostly empty anyway, but that doesn't stop ache clawing at him. On shaky legs he barely makes it into the bathroom, kneeling on the cold floor. Sobs tear through him as he huddles over the toilet in misery.

Weak. That's all he can think, he's weak for needing someone, needing Chris. Weak for crying himself sick. Weak.

The thought that crosses his mind next almost makes him laugh. His mom won't have any reason to doubt that he doesn't feel well now. At least that means he can skip school tomorrow. Skip Chris' class. It's the thought of Chris, who he can't seem to get out of his mind that makes his stomach clench and roll again.

He rests his forehead on the cold toilet bowl, at first it feels good, so good he doesn’t know how many minutes have passed. During that time he doesn’t think about anything, only focuses on his breathing and at how cold it feels, how his stomach is _still_ hurting.   
  
But it doesn’t last long, and he starts to feel haunted by his thoughts again. Chris, it’s always Chris. The way he kisses him on the lips, the way he kisses him on the neck, behind his ear. He thought he stopped crying but tears are coming back again. 

He was angry but now he’s just heartbroken.  
  
He wonders what Chris is doing right now, figuring he’s probably sound asleep. Either that or thinking about how great it was while it lasted and which student he’s going to fuck next. Probably not even thinking about him.  
  
That makes him feel miserable again, stupid, dumb. He’s a fool, an idiot to think it was real. To think they had something, to think Chris would want to be with him. Because he really thought all of that.

When Sebastian finally drags himself back to his room he's exhausted and drained, mentally and physically. The body wracking sobs still haven't stopped and he's glad his mother has already gone to bed. He doesn't want to face her like this.

Back in his room, he uses what little energy he has left to undress. His jeans hit the floor with a thud before he remembers the phone in his pocket. Bending down to retrieve it he notices he has a text. He won't look, won't read it he tells himself. But just seeing Chris' name on his screen is enough to make him feel sick all over again.

Setting the phone face down on his dresser, Sebastian climbs back into bed. His pillow is still wet and he doesn't even care enough to turn it over. He's crying again, somehow he has tears left and it's all he can do to wrap himself in his comforter and curl into a ball.

He’s numb, dead inside but at the same time he’s not dead at all, he feels everything, he feels it all too well. He just want to close his eyes and fall asleep but that won’t happen. He doesn’t even have the energy to cry anymore but tears are still there, wetting his eyes, wetting his pillow.  
  
Minutes pass, turn into hours and he doesn’t move, doesn’t fall asleep. His brain is wide awake, brooding over the same thoughts and memories over and over again. He’s alone. The only friend he could talk to doesn’t know anything about this, his mother doesn’t know anything about it. He doesn’t want them to know about it anyway, not ever, not anymore. And there’s the only person he would talk to…  
  
He cries again at this realization. He has no one besides Chris.

And that's the whole fucking problem. He doesn't have Chris. Doesn't know if he ever really had him.

He's crying still when the sun starts coming up. When his mother comes to see why he isn't getting  up for school he doesn't even have to say anything to convince her he needs to stay home.

She leaves for work eventually, leaving him all alone. He doesn't know if she called the school first, to report his absence or not. Doesn't care really. Somehow, mercifully he slips into sleep, his body finally giving up, giving in. It's not a peaceful sleep, it's restless and fitful and filled with visions of Chris.

It’s only a few hours of rest, if he can call that rest. He wakes up around noon and he’s still exhausted and empty. His eyes hurts and sting, his mouth feels numb. He wonders if he should eat something but he’s just not hungry. He’s not even sure his stomach would take it anyway.  So he doesn’t move for a long time, just stays in bed. Alternating between crying and staring at the wall. Stays that way until he hears his mother coming home, hears her coming upstairs and knocking at his door as she opens it.  
  
“Feeling better sweetie?”  
  
He doesn’t answer, not because he’s impolite or because he means to be rude, but because he doesn’t know what to answer. He doesn’t want to answer.   
  
“You wanna eat something?” She asks again quietly.  
  
“No,” he breathes, not sure if she heard him, “But thank you,” he adds. She doesn’t insist and he hears her closing the door behind her.

Laying in bed, listening to his mother descend the stairs, Sebastian isn't sure how he'll ever face going back to school. He wonders how long he can keep his mother thinking he's sick so he can just stay at home, stay in bed.

His head is stuffy from all the crying, still pounding from it too, and the lack of sleep hasn't helped matters. Even with a stuffy head he hears the doorbell ring. He doesn't care who it is, doesn't even wonder.

He can't make out the voices he hears at the door, but he can tell his mother is talking to someone. It doesn't matter who, he doesn't care. Turning to face the wall, he squeezes his eyes shut, hoping to fall asleep again. Hoping to fall asleep and not dream of Chris anymore.


	14. I Don’t Want To Talk About It

Waking up from the few hours he slept, Chris’ first instinct is to check his phone. No new message. It’s like a slap in the face, but somehow he should have expected it. The morning already seems awful and he’s barely woken up.  
  
He doesn’t feel like eating much, but he forces himself. Reaching for the bowl of fruit on the counter, he knows he’ll never be able to eat an apple, so he chooses a banana instead. He doesn’t think he could stomach anything else. He doesn’t spend much time in the shower, it’s like he’s on auto-pilot as he gathers up his things and drives to school. The only thing he’s hoping for, expecting, is to see Sebastian in his class. He wants, but more than that, he _needs_ to see him.  
  
The first class feels like a whole morning, too long for him, but he tries to stay focused, and waits for the bell to ring. Waits for Sebastian’s class.

But Sebastian isn't with the other students, doesn't come into class. And that worries Chris more than he'd like to admit. He wonders if Sebastian is avoiding him and just decided to skip his math class. He has to report it anyway, so when the bell rings he heads down to the principal's office.

"Can I help you?" the secretary asks, looking up from her computer when Chris walks in.

He tries to force a smile, to sound casual but he isn't sure how successful he is. "I just need to let you know that Sebastian Stan wasn't in my math class today."

He waits while she taps at her keyboard. Then she frowns a little. "Thank you Chris, it looks like he didn't come to school at all today."

His heart drops into his chest, but he keeps that smile plastered on his face. "Okay, right. Thanks."

The walk back to his classroom feels miles long. It's his fault, he knows it. He's the reason Sebastian missed school today.

By the time school ends he's decided on a plan. It's risky and foolish, but he needs to check on Sebastian. Knowing he can't just show up at Sebastian's house for no reason, he checks with the other teachers and gathers up the class work and homework that Sebastian missed.  He doesn’t care if it sounds strange for a teacher to do that.

He finds Sebastian's address easily enough in the school records and as he drives over he tries to rehearse what he'll say to Sebastian. He's not going to yell this time, but he needs Sebastian  to listen, he to hear him out.

The papers shake in his hands as he rings the doorbell at Sebastian's house. He's standing there feeling like the world's biggest idiot when the door opens. Only it's not Sebastian at the door. It's his mother.

“Hi, can I help you?” she says with a smile.  
  
“Hm, hi, we never actually met but I’m Sebastian’s math teacher,” he pauses to breathe. “I noticed he didn’t come to class today, so his teachers gave me the lessons he missed to bring him.”  
  
“Aw, how kind of you... Mr.?”  
  
“Evans. Mr. Evans,” he supplies helpfully.  
  
“That’s really nice of you, thank you.”  
  
Chris feels completely stupid for asking the following question but he can’t help himself “Can I ask why Sebastian wasn’t in class today? Is he ill?”  
  
The smile she had disappears a little but her tone stays friendly, “Oh, the poor thing just wasn’t feeling well, I don’t think he slept much last night either. He’s up in his room, if you’d like to go say hello?” She steps back, allowing Chris the space to come inside. “I don’t think he’d mind, he’s always talking about you, you must be his favorite teacher ever.”

If he ever was, no doubt he isn’t Sebastian’s favorite anything anymore.

Chris isn’t sure it’s a good idea but he needs and he _wants_ to see Sebastian, so he smiles, nods, and comes inside. Following Sebastian’s mother into the house. He’s never been inside Sebastian’s house before, it’s always Sebastian who came into his apartment. It feels weird.

Walking upstairs, Sebastian’s mother adds, “I think he cried all night, he’ll probably be tired.”

Hearing that makes Chris feel even worse. Knowing that Sebastian spent all night crying, because of him makes him want to wrap his arms around Sebastian and never let him go. Makes him want to make Sebastian understand that he loves him, truly loves him. That things will work out between them, that everything will be okay.

As he follows Sebastian’s mother to Sebastian’s room, he realizes he’s not even sure he can make that promise, and even if he could, Sebastian probably won’t believe him anyway. But he shakes his head, he doesn’t want to think about that, doesn’t want to consider that option, that Sebastian wouldn’t, _doesn’t_ , want him anymore.

He stands awkwardly to the side while she knocks at Sebastian’s door, opening it slightly. “Sebastian, sweetie, your teacher brought the work you missed. He’s here to see you.” She steps back then, giving Chris a sad smile before she leaves, going back down the stairs. Chris’ grasp on the papers tightens.

He stands in the doorway for a while before he pushes the door open the rest of the way. His eyes are drawn to Sebastian, lying on the bed, curled up with his back to the door. He stares at him for a moment before looking around the room.

He didn’t imagine it like this. He didn’t imagine anything at all actually, but it’s definitely more minimalistic than what he would have thought. He closes the door behind him, hoping it won’t bother Sebastian’s mother, and walks across the room, putting the papers on Sebastian’s desk. He crosses the rest of the room, approaching the bed tosit next to Sebastian. He still hasn’t acknowledged him, hasn’t noticed him or looked at him.

He doesn’t know what to say, and he sits like that for a whole minute, without saying anything. Finally, he decides to just lay beside Sebastian and wrap his arms around him. As he brings his arms over Sebastian’s small frame, he hears him snort quietly.  Neither of them say anything, so he kisses Sebastian’s hair and whispers. “I’m sorry,” he says.  “About everything. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I yelled. I never meant to, I only want the best for you.”

He feels Sebastian moving against him, getting closer, adjusting his position along Chris’ body. It feels so good to have him in his arms, to touch him, and to see he’s not pushing him away. He was already missing the way Sebastian smells.  

Chris’ nose wanders in Sebastian’s hair, closing his eyes for a second, pretending nothing happened. That yesterday was just a nightmare and he woke up holding Sebastian in his arms. He moves the hand that was around Sebastian’s waist to his arm, barely touching him as he moves up higher to reach his hair. Stroking his head  gently.  
  
He doesn’t think before whispering, “Please baby, talk to me,” the words just come out on their own. At this point he doesn’t expect any reaction, any answer, he can only hope that his words are getting through. Sebastian isn’t pushing him away, but he’s desperate for any other reaction.

Sebastian turns to face him, lifting Chris’ arm, sneaking under it, before pulling Chris’ arm back in place. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he murmurs in the same time.  
  
Even in a murmur Chris can hear the weakness in Sebastian’s voice. His eyes are open, completely red and puffy. He looks so tired, exhausted, he really must have cried all night and all day. Chris just wants to take his pain away, take it away from him. All he can do is contemplate the mess he’s made, what he’s done to Sebastian. _God_ , he’s a complete idiot and he wants to punch himself in the face. He’s the reason behind all of this, the reason that  Sebastian feels so bad he couldn’t stop crying and skipped school so he wouldn’t see him, he probably didn’t have the strength to go anyway.  
  
“Just tell me you won’t leave me...” he hears Sebastian breathe pitifully. He hear the sadness in his voice, and it devastates him. He realizes how bad Sebastian is, and how bad _he_ is.

He wants to cry too, but he doesn’t. He just grasps Sebastian’s face in his hands and kisses him gently. “I’ll never leave you,” he whispers.

It’s such a tender moment but at the same time, Chris knows that if Sebastian does apply for colleges, does go, he won’t be the one leaving, it will be Sebastian leaving him. Probably not on purpose, but they’ll drift apart, because Sebastian will be busy or he’ll meet someone his own age. But he doesn’t say any of those things, he just kisses Sebastian again, and looks at him with all the kindness he can find.

Just laying like this is a sweet kind of torture. He wishes they could stay curled together, just kissing, for hours. But he knows he can’t. Knows they shouldn’t even be laying like this.

Sebastian’s mother is right downstairs and he shouldn’t be here in the first place. But he doesn’t leave, he stays, holding Sebastian in his arms. He promised himself that once he held Sebastian again, he wouldn’t let him go, so doesn’t give him the chance to escape, not that Sebastian looks like he want to.

A short while later, Sebastian’s mother knocks on the door, surprising them both, making them blanch slightly. But Chris doesn’t move, he still holds Sebastian in his arms, keeping his face so close to his so he doesn’t need to move forward to kiss him. “I’m making dinner,” she says through the door. “Sebastian, are you feeling well enough to eat?”

Sebastian doesn’t answer, just looks at Chris with those sad eyes.

Sebastian’s mother adds. “Sebastian, would you like to invite Mr. Evans to join us for dinner?”

“Would you?” Sebastian whispers.

Chris clears his throat. “Well, if it’s not too much trouble, I’d love to.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” she says through the door. “Why don’t you to come down in fifteen minutes, I’ll get everything ready.” She must be halfway down the hall before she calls out again. “Sebastian sweetie, maybe we can talk to your teacher about colleges over dinner.”

Sebastian’s face falls, if he wasn’t already pale he would probably turn completely white hearing those words. It’s fear Chris notices in his eyes just before he closes them.  
  
Chris kisses him lightly on the temple, trying to be reassuring, and Sebastian just buries his face in Chris’ neck, to hide. Chris pulls him nearer, pressing their bodies closer together and starts to stroke Sebastian’s back. He won’t say a thing about what Sebastian’s mother just said. He isn’t going to ruin this moment, the fear in Sebastian’s eyes was all the warning he needed.  
  
They stay like this for a moment before Chris breaks the silence and whispers, “We should go downstairs.”

Sebastian lifts his head to look at him, but he doesn’t move so Chris does, reluctantly, and once he’s on his feet he holds out a hand to Sebastian. A hand Sebastian takes and slides out of the bed to find himself facing Chris, extremely close, but he doesn’t look at him. His eyes stay at their level, looking at Chris’ neck.  
  
Chris grabs Sebastian’s face in his hands, carefully forcing him to look up. Kissing Sebastian, rubbing his thumbs over his face, and pressing their foreheads together, he says softly, “Come on.”   
  
Once they’re downstairs they find Sebastian’s mom, setting the table. When she takes notice of them, she looks closely at her son.  
  
“Are you feeling a little bit better?” She sounds concerned.  
  
“Yeah,” Sebastian answers weakly, swallowing dryly without glancing at Chris.  
  
They sit around the table, Sebastian to his left and Sebastian’s mom to his right. Chris tries to be as polite as possible but all he wants to do is stare at Sebastian, reassure him, hold his hand. They exchange small talk at first, Sebastian’s mother asking Chris a few things about himself but it isn’t long before she brings up Sebastian’s grades and work, and college.

Part of Chris wonders if having this discussion with Sebastian’s mother will make him see reason. See that he should go to college, but he doesn’t want to see Sebastian as upset as he was earlier ever again. She brought it up though, and he can’t lie, so he tries to soften his words “I think Sebastian has a lot of possible options, and he should take the one he wants. He should find something he loves as much as I love teaching and he should go to college so he can pursue it as a career.”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Sebastian makes an irritated sound, almost a laugh, and tries to hide it by taking a sip of water.

“What’s wrong Sebastian?” his mother asks. “I agree with Mr. Evans, I think it’s important for you to go to college.”

Sebastian bites his lip at first, looking from Chris to his mother.  He laughs again, bitterly this time. “Yeah. You know what? I’m tired of talking about this—” He gets up from the table, pushing his chair back forcefully, throwing the napkin he was holding onto the table.

“Sweetie, where are you going?” his mother asks. She looks at Chris, clearly embarrassed by Sebastian’s behavior.

 Chris can only sit helplessly and wonders what in the hell did he said again to make Sebastian leave _again_.

“Sebastian,” he says, grabbing his arm.

Sebastian doesn’t give him a chance to say anything else. He stares at him and Chris swearshe sees lightning in his eyes.“You’re a fucking liar,” he spits at him. “You just told me you won’t leave me, but you want me to. YOU want ME to leave you, right? You want me to go to college so you can find another student to fuck when you’re bored!”

It’s mortifying, because Sebastian’s mother is sitting right there, there’s no way she could have misheard what Sebastian said. No way he can tell her she misunderstood what Sebastian was saying. He doesn’t take the time to wonder what she must be thinking, he’s only concerned about Sebastian. “You know that’s not true. You know you mean more than that to me.”

“ _Fuck you_. Now let me go.”Sebastian wrenches his arm out of Chris’ grasp and even though his mother is calling his name, he seems too focused on getting away, trying not to cry. A second later the front door slams.

Chris lets him go, again, and he feels stupid, sitting at the table, unable to look at Sebastian’s mother. Be the adult here, he tells himself, for once act like an adult. So he forces himself to look at Sebastian’s mother, to speak to her. “I’m sincerely sorry about that. I know it won’t change a single thing about what happened, but I can promise you that I’m not playing games with your son. I _love_ him.”

He stands up then, expecting her to start yelling, throwing dishes, have some kind of hysterical reaction. Sebastian walked out on him, again, and now Sebastian's mother knows about their dirty little secret. Probably understands why her son cried all this time.He's not sure if he should run after Sebastian or just run. Figuring it won’t hurt, he apologizes again. "I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm really, incredibly, sorry."

It’s the silence that finally prompts him to look at Sebastian's mother. When their eyes meet she sighs softly and shakes her head. "Just go after him," she says.

Before she changes her mind Chris reaches for the door, not looking at her again, hoping she _won’t_ change her mind. He’s out on the porch and he realizes he has no idea where to go. He chooses a street at random and starts walking. It’s an unfamiliar neighborhood and it’s nearly dark, but he knows Sebastian can’t have gone far. He only has a few minutes head start, he shouldn’t be far. But he forgot Sebastian has the unfair advantage of knowing the neighborhood while he doesn’t.  
  
Chris walks, runs, walks and walks faster again. He’s lost, he has no idea where he is and he’s sure if he tries to call Sebastian he won’t pick up. He probably doesn’t have his phone anyway. He spends a huge amount of time wondering where the hell he is, and where the fuck Sebastian went because he can’t find him.   
  
He’s not sure but it’s probably been fifteen or twenty minutes of looking, desperately trying to find Sebastian before he sees him from afar. He doesn’t want to yell, because it’s starting to get late and he doesn’t want to draw attention to them. And also because he doesn’t want to see Sebastian run away again. So he walks faster, almost sprinting until he reaches him.   
  
He grabs Sebastian’s arm, forcing Sebastian to face him, it’s probably harder than he should grabbed him, but he’s just so glad and relieved he found him. Sebastian is crying, angry, he looks devastated, wrecked. He pushes Chris away, trying to get out of his grip, striking out with every ounce of strength he has left. Insulting Chris, ordering him to leave him alone.  
  
Chris doesn’t reply, he simply lets Sebastian keep hitting him. Maybe he deserves some of it. Seeing Sebastian like that makes him want to cry, he’s hysterical, and knowing he’s responsible for all of this breaks his heart, so he endures it. He lets Sebastian hit him again and again but he doesn’t let him go and after a moment he grabs his wrists and pulls him against his chest, wraps him in arms.

“Stop, Sebastian. Stop.” His own voice breaks but he tries to not let Sebastian see how much he’s suffering, seeing see him like this. All of this, it’s because of him, because Chris is the adult and he’s the teacher and none of this would have happened if he wasn’t stupid and selfish enough to drag both of them into a relationship that had no possible way of ending well.  
  
“Stop,” he asks again but he’s ready to beg if he needs it. He’s fighting himself so hard to not cry. He can’t cry. “I know you’re pissed. It’s okay, that’s your right.” He continues trying to calm Sebastian, to avoid his punches and they eventually starts to get softer. “Be pissed at me but please, stop leaving me. Stop running away. We’ll never find a solution if you keep running.”  
  
That’s what he wants, a solution, any solution as long as Sebastian stops crying, stops running away. He’s ready to accept anything just to see Sebastian stop crying, even the most stupid idea ever, he would consider it just so Sebastian would calm down. Sebastian is crying against his shirt, sobbing loudly. He doesn’t reject the hug while Chris is talking, but when he’s done he pushes him away.  
  
“What solution?” he spits angrily “Since when do you care about a solution? You don’t love me, you’ve never loved me!” He starts hitting him again, and as much as it breaks his heart Chris doesn’t reply, doesn’t stop him, he waits for Sebastian to say everything he needs to say, to throw every punch he needs to. “When have you ever given a shit about me?! I was just a hobby to you and now you want to get rid of me!” Sebastian sobs, hitting one last time before collapsing in Chris’ arms. “I hate you,” he says meekly.  
  
Chris takes the chance to tighten his embrace, and he starts talking, he wants to say the right things but he just ends up saying everything going through his mind. “I know. I know you do and I hate myself too. I hate myself because I fell for you, and I can’t keep you out of my head and I wish everything would be easier. I hate myself because you deserve so much better than all of this. I don’t want to be the reason you’re sad in ten years because you didn’t make the right choices at the right time because of me. I want you to be happy and don’t you believe for a second I don’t love you because the problem is I love you too much.”

Sebastian is still crying, Chris doesn’t know if he could stop even if he wanted to, but he looks up at him with those wide, wet eyes. “Happy? How am I supposed to be happy, Chris? I didn't know what happy was before I met you. And now I'm supposed to make decisions, figure out what to do with my life? When all I know is that if I can't be with you, I can't see the point of any of it. What am I supposed to do with that Chris?"

He looks as though he wants to hit Chris again, but he doesn’t. Chris keeps his arms tight around Sebastian and he’s glad he does, because Sebastian sort of seems to give up, he just sinks, boneless into Chris. If his arms weren’t around Sebastian, he’s sure he’d be sitting on the sidewalk right now. It’s nearly enough to make him laugh. He’s standing in the dark, in an unfamiliar neighborhood. They’re lucky that the house they’re standing in front of seems to be empty. The last thing they need is someone seeing how crazy they must look.

It feels like there’s nothing more he can say, so Chris holds him up, strokes his back. He won’t leave Sebastian, won’t leave him alone, so he waits, holding him until his sobs subside.  “I know part of you doesn’t believe me, but I love you, I do, and I hate seeing you like this.” He speaks softly, trying to reassure Sebastian with his tone, to calm him down.

 Wiping away the worst of Sebastian’s tears with his thumbs, he speaks again. “You know what? Let’s stop talking about this. Whatever decision you make, I’ll support it. It’s your life and you know how I feel about it, so now it’s up to you. I won’t try to change your mind, I promise. Go to college, don’t go to college, that’s your choice, I won’t interfere.” Sebastian’s watching him with those sad eyes, so he feels compelled to add, “I hope you heard the most important thing I said though, that I love you.”

Sebastian drops his eyes to the sidewalk. “Take me home...”

Pretending he’s not hurt that Sebastian’s ignoring his declaration of love he nods. “Yeah let’s go, your mother must be really worried by now.”

Sebastian looks up then, clearly he’s forgotten about his mother, about screaming in front of his mother that he’s been having sex with his teacher.  He stares at Chris for a moment before shaking his head. “No... I meant home with you.” 

Trying not to sigh, Chris scans Sebastian’s face for a clue to what he’s thinking. "I want to take you home with me, I do. But my car is at your house and when we go back there for it, I'm not sure your mom is going to be too happy with either of us."

"C'mon, let's start walking back.” He wipes the tears from Sebastian's face once more.  “I hope you know where we are because I'm totally fucking lost," he says, hoping to make Sebastian laugh.

Sebastian doesn’t laugh, but he smiles weakly instead, and that’s more than enough for Chris. The thought of never seeing Sebastian smile again is too much to take. They starts walking slowly but Sebastian stops after only a few steps, Chris turns back to watch him when he notices he’s no longer beside him  
  
“I’m only going home if you stay with me tonight.” He looks so tired, and there’s nothing Chris wants more than to spend the night with him. To hold him while they sleep. If he could even sleep, he would probably just mostly look at Sebastian sleeping. That’s something he hasn’t had the chance to witness. He would gladly give up on sleep to just look at Sebastian, calm and quiet, secured in his arms.  
  
“You know it’s not reasonable...” he answers calmly. “And I’m sure pretty your mother will _not_ be okay with having her teenage son sleeping in the same bed as the person who made him cry for a day, especially when that person also happens to be his teacher.” He tries to laugh a little, but his eyes must scream sadness. Under the yellow light from the street lamp Sebastian stops next to, Chris can take a real look at him, he’s an awful mess and Chris feels a hundred percent responsible for that.  
  
Sebastian doesn’t protest and starts walking again, when he’s even with Chris, he stops and looks him in the eyes. “I’m sleeping at your house tomorrow then.” He says, half asking, half telling.

 “If that’s what you want, love.” He doesn’t know what made him say that, he’s never used that pet name before, but the smile it brings to Sebastian’s face, a genuine smile, makes him glad he did. He doesn’t want anything to take that smile off Sebastian’s face so he doesn’t say anything else about the subject. Feeling Sebastian’s fingers find his, lacing them together shyly, Chris doesn’t have the heart to move away, right now he doesn’t care if they run into someone they know. He decides to live in the moment and just walk in the dark, holding hands with Sebastian.

They walk for another ten minutes or so, Chris grateful that Sebastian _does_ know the neighborhood well. When they get to Sebastian’s house, he walks him to the door. The porch light is on, but there’s no sign of Sebastian’s mother. Chris knows he’d be pushing his luck to go back inside, so they linger on the porch. Much the way the street lamp did, the porch light highlights just how awful Sebastian looks. Dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, tear tracks down his cheeks.

He pulls Sebastian towards him, gentle this time, and kisses him. It’s a soft, tender kiss, and he doesn’t want it to stop, neither of them do. Chris reluctantly pulls away only at the thought of Sebastian’s mother inside, worried sick.

"I'd take you home with me right now, if I could. But I know your mom is inside, and I know she's worried. And there's still school tomorrow."

Sebastian looks at him determinedly. "But, tomorrow night then," he says, biting his lip. "You'll let me stay with you?" He’s not backing down on this.

Chris knows it's crazy and foolish, but he can't say no. "Tomorrow night," he promises. Bringing his hand up to cup Sebastian’s cheek he asks, "But what are you going to tell your mom?"

“That I’m staying with you.” Chris must have a horrified expression on his face because Sebastian feels the need to add quickly “She’ll understand. I’ll talk to her.”   
  
He doesn’t want to bring anymore trouble, but he needs to say something “That’s probably not—”  
  
“I’ll figure something out.” Sebastian interrupts him.  
  
“Okay.” Chris tries to smile, no more drama for tonight. He knows it’s not a good idea but as selfish as it is, he wants to spend the night with Sebastian too. And right now, just for a moment he doesn’t want to think about what his mother might say. What his mother must think about him, about them.  
  
She seems nice, maybe she’ll understand, or maybe Sebastian will tell her something else. He doesn’t like the idea of Sebastian lying to his own mother but he likes seeing Sebastian like this even less.  
  
He doesn’t expect her to be supportive of their relationship, just to try to understand and do what Sebastian wants. He knows he sounds foolish and irrational because if he was her, after what happened tonight and what Sebastian went through last night, he would probably not let Sebastian see him again.   
  
Chris gives Sebastian one last kiss on the lips before heading back to his car, and he watches Sebastian go inside, glancing at him one last time before closing the door.  
  
“Tomorrow night” Chris whispers to himself before starting the car.


	15. Don’t Even Think About It

They’re both tired the next day, and time doesn’t seem to pass fast enough. Chris doesn’t have Sebastian in his class today and he’s somewhat relieved and thankful for that otherwise he probably wouldn’t be able to stop staring at him. He does see him briefly in the hallway and he needs to know how it went with his mother, he needs to know if he’s still coming tonight. “Mr. Stan, do we still have tutoring tonight?” he asks quietly.

“Yes,” Sebastian says with a smile. “Yes we do.”

He can’t wait to be with Sebastian. He wants to spend a quiet night with him, to cook for him, to hug him, making him laugh. Just forget about that horrible week.

Now that he knows _for sure_ he'll get to see Sebastian tonight, to spend the night with him, Chris spends the rest of the day walking on air. When school finally ends, he gathers up all of his things and heads for his car. He's still got papers to grade and other work to do at home over the weekend, but he wants to put that all aside and make tonight about just Sebastian and him. He's expecting to see Sebastian a little later, that's what they usually do. He goes home and Sebastian will show up an hour or so after that. But today, when he leaves the school and walks to the teachers parking lot, Sebastian is there. Waiting for him. He's leaning against his car and he looks so happy, so beautiful, that Chris nearly drops his bag. "What are you doing here? Don't you have to go home first?" he asks.

Sebastian speaks quietly, making sure no one  is listening. “I took some clothes with me. Didn’t want to waste a second of our night.”

Chris has to bite his lower lip hard, smiling, and shaking his head, looking away for a second to not rush to Sebastian and take him in his arms. He wants to kiss him so much. Just to see him grinning is enough to make his heart stop for a second. He missed that grin, and he really thought he might never get to see it again. He’s so happy he has to find a reason to not hug him, because being in a public parking lot doesn’t seem so much of a reason at this moment. But the fact that it’s the school parking lot is enough of a reason not to, so he waits, impatiently.

And he does, as soon as they walk into his apartment, he kisses him passionately and pushes him against the door. Sebastian slides his hands under Chris’ shirt but Chris stops him although he’s not entirely sure why.  “Baby you know I want you too, but let’s take this slow for once, okay? We’ve got all night, there’s no need to hurry.” He kisses every bit of bare flesh on Sebastian’s neck.

Chris continues to kiss Sebastian's neck until Sebastian's breath is coming in pants and gasps. Then Chris pulls away, reluctantly, because he did say he wants to take things slowly and if he doesn’t find the strength to stop now, he won’t later and he surely can’t count on Sebastian to stop.

"Why did you stop," Sebastian whines somewhat petulantly, sticking out his lower lip in a pout, one of his hand pulling at Chris’ shirt.

Chris laughs. "I told you, we have all night, we don't _need_ to rush. Now, come into the kitchen with me and let's make dinner. I've got a full fridge so you can decide what we're having."

He doesn’t kiss him this time, not that every part of him isn’t screaming, asking him to do it, but because he’s too afraid of what it could lead to in just a few seconds. He pulled him back once, he isn’t sure he can do it twice.

Sebastian follows Chris into the kitchen, still pouting, but only for pretend now. "Fine, dinner first and then I want you to fuck me, because afterwards I'm going to fall asleep in your arms."

Chris' mouth goes dry, and his knees go a bit weak. Damn, this kid really knows how to get to him. "Alright," he agrees. There’s nothing he wants more.  "But we're going to take this whole night slow, that means no rushing through dinner, and when I do fuck you, it's going to be nice and slow." He doesn't give Sebastian a chance to protest. He wouldn’t be able to endure Sebastian talking about fucking him again. "Now, what should we make to eat?"

“Pizza,” Sebastian answers without even looking at the fridge.

“Pizza.” Chris repeats before the word goes through to his brain. He sighs when it does. “Are you kidding me, Sebastian? With everything we can cook you want to eat pizza?”

“Well I’d rather eat you but like we’re apparently taking things slow... So, yes a pizza would be great!”

Chris bites his lower lip as a reflex, just thinking about Sebastian’s wet mouth around his cock, no, he can’t think of that, he shakes his head. “I’m a chef and you’re making me cook a pizza…” he whispers plaintively. Their night together is going to be so great but so short if Sebastian keeps talking like this.

"Fine, pizza it is," Chris says, even though his mind is now on other things. He finds everything they need and clears a space for them to work. "First, the dough," he tells Sebastian. "We'll do this together." He places a bowl on the counter and since he knows the recipe by heart, he measures out the ingredients. "Now," he instructs Sebastian. "You stand there and start mixing, use your hands."

"But I don't know what I'm doing!" Sebastian protests.

"Here, we're doing it together, remember," Chris says. He comes behind Sebastian, pressing their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's so that he can guide his hands. "Like this."

He knows it's teasing Sebastian as much as it's teasing him, being this close, being able to smell the scent that pervaded his sheets for so long, the same scent he couldn’t stop smelling on his pillows the last few nights.  So he takes the opportunity to lean down and kiss the spot right behind Sebastian's ear. "Tell me," he whispers. "Tell me what, besides me, will make you happy." He knows it's a risk, trying to talk about the future again, but he has Sebastian's best intentions at heart. He won’t upset him, not this time, but he would listen, just _listen_ to what Sebastian wants. He knows he can’t ask him to tell him anything, to share any of his ideas about his future, how he sees it. If he ever had that right, he lost it.

He also knows Sebastian doesn’t want to fight, not tonight, not during _their_ night, but Chris knows talking about the future scares Sebastian because he has no idea what he wants to do. He just want to help him try to figure out what he likes, what he could do with his life. “Besides you? Nothing.” Sebastian doesn’t leave time for Chris to answer. “But if you want to make me happy you can fuck me against the counter right now.”

The words go straight to Chris’ dick. And it takes _a lot_ to not do it. Oh god, he wants to do it so badly, but no, they’re taking it slow tonight. He said it himself. And he understands Sebastian isn’t ready to talk about future again, so he won’t force him. “You can’t be serious, can you?” he says taking some dough on his finger to put it on Sebastian’s nose. He never looked any cuter.

“Clean up your mess,” Sebastian says making Chris smile as he grabs a napkin. “No.” He pushes Chris’ hand away. “Lick it.”

Oh god, Sebastian is going to kill him, he’ll never be able to take things slow if he keeps talking like that. Sebastian’s order resonates in his head and Chris can’t stop thinking there are so many other things he would gladly lick…

But he's not going to say no to this, so he leans in close and licks the spot of dough off Sebastian's nose. He doesn't stop there, because once his nose is clean he kisses it lightly, then moves down, kissing the corners of Sebastian's mouth. He can’t help himself.

"Mmm, now that's more like it," Sebastian says, trying to pull Chris in closer.

Chris gives him one more kiss, a full, deep kiss this time, bringing their lips together and showing Sebastian just how much he wants him. And it would be so easy to just forget dinner, to fuck him there in the kitchen, or anywhere really. But he stops, pulls back. It's hard to do, getting more difficult by the second, because he's hard now.

"Dinner first," he says, reminding himself as much as Sebastian.

There's a groan from Sebastian and Chris laughs a little. He understands Sebastian’s frustration all too well, but it’s adorable coming from him.

"Now, pizza toppings? Let's make the sauce and you tell me what we're putting on top," he says with a wink.

“You,” Sebastian says, smirking mischievously. “I want you on top. On top of me right now.”

There’s a weird noise Chris didn’t expect coming from his throat, a strangled moan. Sebastian really needs to stop talking so dirty otherwise he won’t be able to restrain himself any longer. And Sebastian bites his lower lip, that’s it, that’s his breaking point and he pushes him against the counter, kissing him passionately, one hand on Sebastian’s neck the other on his hip.   
  
It tastes so sweet, and he missed this so much. He lifts Sebastian, sitting him on the countertop, both of Sebastian’s legs wrapping around him. He’s losing his mind, he can barely remember to breathe.They’re still kissing and Sebastian tries to take Chris’ shirt off but Chris has a moment of clarity and breaks the kiss, breathing heavily. His hand is back on Sebastian’s neck and he presses his forehead to Sebastian’s whispering. “So, the sauce,” he says, clearing his throat. “Let’s make the sauce.” He stares into Sebastian’s eyes. “And I swear if you make one allusion to come I will kill you.”

So of course Sebastian opens his mouth, ready to say _something_ teasing.

"Don't even think about it," Chris growls as he warns him again. "Seriously, if we don't stop screwing around then we'll never get dinner made. And if we don't make dinner, we can't eat it. And no sex till after dinner."

Chris has the misfortune to give Sebastian a peck on the lips. It was supposed to be a second, but one second is now nine seconds and Chris is counting in his head, promising himself he’ll stop at fifteen seconds. But it’s twenty seconds now and Sebastian is asking for his tongue and he can’t resist his supplications any longer so he pulls away suddenly. “No sex till after dinner,” he repeats desperately trying to hide the whimper in his voice as he loses the feeling of Sebastian’s lips on his own. He leaves him, and walk away in the kitchen. He needs to get as far away as he can right now, or he’ll fuck Sebastian against the counter like he asked him to.

Sebastian hops down from the counter, muttering. "Fine, you're always so strict _Mr. Evans_."

The way he says it always does things to Chris, he can't help it. But dinner first. _Dinner first,_ he keeps repeating to himself because his need for Sebastian seems to push away this simple instruction any time he lays his eyes on him.

"So, the sauce," he says grabbing a pot. He opens the jar of tomato sauce and empties it into the pan. "Help me add the spices and then it needs to simmer."

Sebastian hands him the spices that are lined up on the counter and Chris adds just the right amount, stirring them in. _Dinner, dinner first,_ he’s almost singing to himself because Sebastian is clearly biting his lips on purpose, just to make Chris give up.

"I know we want plenty of cheese on the pizza," he says. "Anything else?" he asks, avoiding the words on top or toppings, mostly avoiding any other distraction that would make him lift Sebastian on the counter again. "You can think about it while we roll out the dough, it should have risen enough now."

It has and he leads Sebastian towards the counter again, positioning himself behind him. He swallows hard when he feels himself pressing against Sebastian’s back, against Sebastian’s ass. "Just sprinkle flour on the counter like this," he says, tossing a handful of flour down. "Then we'll use the rolling pin." Chris has no idea how he can still concentrate on the recipe when all he can think of, all his thoughts, are just full of all the different ways he could make Sebastian moan.

But still, Any reason to press up against Sebastian again is fine with Chris, even if he can’t concentrate entirely on what he’s doing. But that’s not like he isn’t trained to do so, that’s practically what he’s been doing during every class where he had Sebastian distracting him. He places his hands over Sebastian's and they start to roll out the dough, Chris guiding Sebastian's movements carefully.

Sebastian opens his mouth to say something but Chris interrupts him “If you make one comment about the rolling pin, I swear to god, I will make you eat the whole bag of flour.” Or fuck him right now, that’s more like it.  
  
Sebastian laughs. “I meant to say you should look in your fridge what we can add to the pizza, but now that you’re mentioning the rolling pin…”

 “Not a word!” Chris replies grabbing the bag of flour with a little grin on his face. He puts it down and leave to find some other interesting things to add.  
  
They stay miraculously serious until it’s time to put the pizza in the oven. “So what now?” Sebastian asks raising an eyebrow.   
  
“I’m not letting the pizza burn because we’re screwing around, plus I still have work to correct and you probably have homework.”   
  
“It’s Friday night! C’mon, don’t make me do my homework while we’re finally having a night together.” Sebastian is pouting again, and as always there is no way Chris can resist that.

“Ugh, fine, okay. You can watch TV while I—” Sebastian is staring at him with a disapproving look. “Fine. _we_ can watch TV until dinner is ready.”

Chris double checks that the timer is set before he joins Sebastian on the couch.

"There's nothing good on," Sebastian complains, flipping through the channels.

Chris sits on the couch next to him. "Oops," he shrugs before putting an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders.

Sebastian leans in, resting against Chris' large frame. "We've never really done this before," he says. "I like it."

Chris smiles. "I like it too." He presses a kiss to Sebastian's forehead, wanting to do more, to kiss him other places, but somehow he resists. Maybe it’s because it feels oddly familiar, holding Sebastian in his arms, just chatting, cooking, complaining about the fact there’s nothing good to watch. They’ve never done it before, but it _feels_ like they have done this every night for months.

"It would be nicer if there was something better to watch," Sebastian complains again, after realizing Chris isn't going to kiss him more.

"Sorry, I don't have cable. You know, first year teacher's salary. Besides, I'm usually too busy to spend much time watching TV." He takes the remote from Sebastian and switches the channel. "OK, your choices are the cooking channel," he says, stopping on a show where a woman is explaining how to make sushi. "Or, the public access channel," he says, changing to where a man is cheerfully demonstrating how to paint with oil paints on canvas.

Sebastian isn’t paying attention to Chris describing the TV program, but he’s looking at him intensely. His hand reaches Chris’ cheek and he makes Chris turn his face to look at him. “Kiss me,” he whispers so quietly Chris isn’t entirely sure he heard him, he was practically mouthing the words.  
  
And Sebastian’s face at that moment… it’s too much for Chris, he looks so cute and calm and peaceful. They really never have had times like this, some yes, but not as much as he wants. It’s just sweet and after the week they had, it’s more than perfect. He can’t help but wonder if this is what it would be like, to live with Sebastian.

He’s quiet too long, probably thinking too much in Sebastian’s opinion because Sebastian adds, “I’ll behave, I promise, just one kiss.”   
  
Chris kisses him without objecting, it’s a gentle kiss, no tongue, just two pairs of lips meeting.

The kiss is soft and tender and despite all the teasing and tension that's been going on between them it's not rushed or desperate. Chris holds Sebastian in his arms and just holds him, he really does want to take things slowly.

Sebastian pulls back and for a second Chris wonders if he's done something wrong.

"After I graduate," Sebastian says quietly, "We could have this every night."

Chris isn't about to start another argument, or upset Sebastian again. The truth is he'd love to have Sebastian here with him every night. Even more now that he’s getting a taste of what it would be like.

He kisses Sebastian again, bringing their lips together softly and then they're interrupted by the timer telling them the pizza is done.

Saved by the bell, Chris thinks. “Time to eat something.” he says stroking Sebastian’s cheek. He takes Sebastian’s hand in his without thinking of it, instinctively, and lead him to the table while he goes to the kitchen to take the pizza out of the oven.  
  
They eat, and laugh, and smile, and they can’t keep their hands out of each others. “See, you’re not a bad cook.” Chris tells him.   
  
“I have a great teacher,” Sebastian says with a  grin. “I’m sure there are a lot of things you can teach me Mr. Evans.”

Chris’ mind goes wild for a moment, because there are a lot of things indeed, and he still loves to hear his name said like that, said by Sebastian. Chris leans over Sebastian to kiss him, his hand falling on Sebastian’s  lap. “Dessert?”

Sebastian laughs. "You're seriously trying to make me wait all night, aren't you?"

Chris laughs too. "Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to keep you waiting? I've been impatiently waiting too." He cards his hand through Sebastian’s hair, kissing his cheek. "Now, was that a yes to dessert or not?"

"Chris, _Mr. Evans_ ," he says, drawing the teacher's name out. "You're all the dessert I want."

“Fair enough” Chris answers before pressing his lips against his one more time, he can’t wait anymore.   
  
It starts gently but it quickly turns into something more rough. All the frustration they were holding back kind of comes out.  
  
Soon they’re up on their feet, mouths still glued. For the third time of the night Sebastian slides his hands under Chris’ shirt to take it off, and he finally succeeds. Chris has a second of conscience where he wonders if he should take him to the bed or the couch —which is closer— but he chooses the bed because he said slow, and the bed sounds more comfy and perfect for what they’re about to do.

Chris leads Sebastian to the bedroom, backing him up against the bed. They haven't stopped kissing each other, they're both tired of waiting, they both need each other.

Sebastian lets Chris push him gently onto the bed. They break the kiss then, only long enough for Chris to tug Sebastian's shirt over his head.

He leans in close, kissing his way from Sebastian's face, his chin and jaw, to his neck, down over his chest. Moving his mouth over Sebastian's smooth chest, stopping to tongue his nipples, then licking and kissing his way to the waistband of Sebastian's jeans. He stops then, mouth hovering over Sebastian's skin. "Tell me what you want, Sebastian. Tell me what I can teach you. Tell me how I can make you happy."

Sebastian hesitates before answering. “I-I wanna try—” he mumbles, a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks.  
  
“Try what baby? Tell me.” Chris says in a teasing voice, kissing Sebastian’s abdomen. _Anything_ , anything Sebastian wants.

Sebastian opens his mouth blissfully, “I- I wanna do you,” he says suddenly. He blushes completely now, his cheeks bright red.  
  
Chris is surprised, he wasn’t expecting _that_ answer. They’ve never switched before, and he’s not sure if he’s really comfortable with the idea. He stares at Sebastian for a moment. “That… that’s what you really want baby?”   
  
“Yes,” Sebastian replies. But it sounds more like a question than a confirmation.  “I want to try once, I want… I want you to teach me how I can make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

Chris lets out a deep breath. "You know anything we do together is good, making you feel good is good for me too." He hopes Sebastian doesn’t think for a second he isn’t making him see stars, because that’s what it is. Honestly, Chris has a past, he can’t deny it, he has been with a few people, but Sebastian… If he could pick only one relationship in his life, it would be this one. No hesitation on that. The way Sebastian can be overconfident, so eager and impatient and a second later being so needy and begging for Chris’ attention, looking so fragile. It’s something Chris can’t get enough of.

Sebastian nods, obviously feeling bolder. He leans up on his elbows and kisses Chris, moaning into his mouth.

Chris' hands find Sebastian's waist again, sliding over the bare skin there. With careful motions, he opens the button and slides down the zipper. "Let's get these clothes off," he says. "And then we'll do whatever you want. This is your night Sebastian." He smiles. "Our night." Anything, _Anything Sebastian wants_ is still the mantra repeating through his head.

While Sebastian seems lost in his thoughts, Chris undresses them both so they’re completely naked on the bed, cuddling and kissing. Making no effort to help Chris, Sebastian looks like he’s in another world and Chris wonders what’s in his head right now.

Chris runs a hand through Sebastian’s hair, moving to his neck, grabbing his chin, pulling him closer for another deep kiss. “So that’s what you want to try then?” he asks, pressing their foreheads together.  
  
“Yes,” Sebastian answers, not sounding entirely confident. “Teach me,” he says into Chris’ mouth.   
  
Between  kisses they slide under the sheets and Chris reaches for the bottle of lube in his night stand. Their hands are exploring each other’s body and they don’t stop kissing for a second.   
  
Chris takes some lube on his hand and takes Sebastian’s hand in his, sharing it. Then he leads his hand lower, to his asshole. He keeps their hands together, helping Sebastian, teaching him, but also to keep the situation under his control because he’s still not a hundred percent overjoyed by what’s happening. He isn’t thrilled by the idea, to say the least, but Sebastian could make him change his mind. It could be hot, and that could be fun, the important thing is the moment they’re sharing and Chris is ready to see where it goes.

He’s never been fond of being the bottom. He’s tried few times, and it’s just not his thing, but he’s ready to please Sebastian tonight and he’s a very good student. Not that he ever doubts that, when it comes to anything else other than math, Sebastian seems to pay little attention, but when it’s about sex, Chris has his full attention, well as much as he can have.

Sebastian doesn’t rush anything, he waits for Chris to give him every signal. He’s very gentle, and talented with his fingers.

Chris can feel Sebastian’s erection pressing against his thigh, Sebastian is really excited so he doesn’t expect the reaction he gets when he moves to pull Sebastian atop him.

 “Stop.” 

“What’s wrong?” Chris worries.

“I just… I changed my mind.” Sebastian looks at him, his expression wavering. “I’m sorry,” he adds. “I want you Chris.” He kisses him feverishly and he pulls him above him “Oh god, please, I want you.” He hides his face in Chris’ neck.

Chris can't say he's all that disappointed. He only wants to make Sebastian happy. "Shh, don't be sorry," he says calmly. He kisses Sebastian, quieting his fears. "And I want you, Sebastian. I want to be inside of you."

Sebastian bites his lower lip, gasping through his teeth. "Please Chris," he says again.

 "Slow down," Chris says, reaching for the lube again. "I don't want to hurt you." They've done this before, of course, but he always tries to be gentle with Sebastian, because he's younger, smaller. Chris takes over, taking his slicked up hand and reaches down towards Sebastian's ass. He lets his fingers circle his hole, slowly opening and stretching Sebastian. It's so difficult to go slow at this point, he's already so hard, and Sebastian is so eager. He's got two fingers inside him now and he crooks them, hitting that spot that always drives Sebastian crazy. Sebastian is moaning and writhing under him and Chris knows he's ready for him. He still asks though. "Are you ready baby, are you ready for me?"

“Yes,” he whines. “Yes, Mr. Evans, yes, _please_ , yes”

It’s hard to focus and not bite Sebastian’s neck when he hears him say his name like that, under these circumstances.  But he does, he contains himself and slowly and cautiously slips inside Sebastian. God, he’s so tight. Chris thinks he should have maybe extend the foreplay, but Sebastian doesn’t seem to mind so much and he hides his face in Chris’ neck again while his fingers run over Chris’ back. They quickly move down to Chris’ butt. Chris knows that’s one of the things Sebastian loves the most, grabbing Chris’ butt while he’s moving in and out of him.

Chris can’t control his mouth, can’t stop from telling Sebastian exactly what he’s thinking. "You're so tight Sebastian, you feel so good." And the feel of Sebastian's hands on his ass, driving him, urging him on is something Chris can't get enough of. He's going slow, but his thrusts are deep and hard. It's so difficult though, to keep things under control, they've both been waiting for this all night. "God, Sebastian, you're so beautiful." It's hard to keep his voice steady, despite his determination to go slow, his pace has increased and his hips are moving in tight, quick circles, driving into Sebastian. Keeping himself propped up on one arm, he reaches between them to stroke Sebastian's hard cock. "Talk to me, baby," he says. "Tell me how you like it."

“Ahhn,” Sebastian cries out feeling Chris’ hand on his dick “Like that Chris, just like… Oh _god, please_.” His mouth is wide open and those little noises he’s making go straight down Chris’ spine.  He really wants to go faster, thrust harder because those fucking noises Sebastian makes are driving Chris insane but there’s something he wants more right now.  
  
Chris kisses Sebastian’s cheek and his neck, slowing down, barely moving, just enough so Sebastian can feel him inside. He’s focusing on caressing slowly Sebastian’s cock. “Open your eyes baby, I want to see your eyes.”   
  
Chris can tell it’s difficult but Sebastian does as asked, his pupils  completely dilated, his face turning red. He’s biting his lower lip hard, so hard he’s probably hurting himself. Chris knows it’s all because of him, because he’s barely moving and it’s driving Sebastian crazy.

Always impatient, Sebastian starts moving under Chris. Begging for attention.

Chris is so caught up in the moment, lost in Sebastian’s eyes, so focused on giving Sebastian pleasure that he forgets to move, so he's surprised when Sebastian is moving under him, grabbing him and pulling him closer. He can feel Sebastian clenching tightly around him and he starts timing his thrust with the slow strokes he's using on Sebastian.

"That's it, just like that," Sebastian says in a soft whine. “Right there, _god, Chris, please_ _._ ”

Chris knows he's close, they're both close and he speeds up, moving their bodies in unison, faster and faster. "I'm almost there, you're so good, baby," he pants to Sebastian. "Want you to come with me, I want to feel you hot and wet all over my hand, all over us," he encourages, knowing he's almost there himself.

Sebastian is on the edge, he can’t even pronounce words anymore, he’s just babbling words that Chris can’t even make out. It only makes Chris move harder because it’s so damn hot and because he knows when Sebastian starts babbling like that it’s because he’s ready to come really soon.

“Come on, baby,” he says, his hand is moving as fast as he is and he moves his mouth closer to Sebastian’s ear to whisper, he knows how much of an effect it has on Sebastian, “Come for me baby,” he urges, licking Sebastian’s ear quickly.  
  
Sebastian is breathing so hard and loud and he arches his back coming into Chris’ hand painfully. His hands are scratching at Chris’ back and butt. And that moan he makes, _god_ , there isn’t anything in the world more alluring than this.

And that's it, that's all it takes. Sebastian is there, he's so gone, he's shuddering in Chris' hands, and painting their stomachs with hot, white stripes as he comes.

It's what Chris was waiting for, and he lets go too, and with a loud groan he pushes into Sebastian, as deep as he can get, and he comes. He's filling Sebastian and it's so good.

He’s spent and shaking, breathing hard. They both are, so Chris gathers Sebastian in his arms, gently kissing him, across his face. Planting kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, across the tip of his nose, his eyelids. Because Sebastian's eyes have fluttered closed and he's so satisfied, his breathing growing softer and evening out as Chris kisses him. "Sebastian," Chris speaks up. "Sebastian, baby. I love you."

Sebastian curls up against Chris, snuggles against his chest, wraps his arm around his torso. “I love you,” he whispers. Chris can’t help the smile growing on his face.It’s the first time Sebastian has said those words. Even if he knows Sebastian doesn’t hate him like he said, or at least doesn’t hate him anymore, he wasn’t expecting him to say it back.

Chris knows Sebastian doesn’t have any strength left, he’s already falling asleep. Chris can’t blame him, knowing how little sleep Sebastian has had over the past few days. How draining it was for both of them. He reaches for the towel he always leave next to his bed and cleans the mess they’ve made. He seizes the blanket too, covering them. He makes sure Sebastian is comfortable and warm, kisses his forehead. He’s feeling sleepy too, but before he closes his eyes, he checks his alarm to be sure it’s off so they can sleep tomorrow.

It’s something so simple and so sweet, but falling asleep with Sebastian in his arms feels so right. Sebastian is already fast asleep as Chris gathers him in his arms, he relaxes into Chris, Chris knows he feels safe.


	16. God, Are You Kidding Me?

Opening his locker, Sebastian starts changing out of his gym clothes. Smiling to himself, he ignores his classmates, the buzz of their conversation and the clicks and slams of locker doors around him. It’s not that difficult to ignore when all he’s thinking of involves Chris and their shared moments.

A sharp voice behind him makes him turn abruptly.

"Bet I know why you're smiling _Sebastian_ ," comes a voice he knows all too well.

His heart skips a beat when he hears that voice so close. Not that voice. Not _his_ voice. Not him. Sean. The asshole that used him and broke his heart. A shiver travels through his body, chilling him to the bone. Suddenly everything around him feels cold, it’s physical, he doesn’t feel well at all.

Choosing not to give him the satisfaction of an answer, Sebastian turns back to his locker, finishes buttoning his shirt. Inside he’s praying for Sean to leave him alone and just walk away. He doesn’t need to hear what he has to say, doesn’t want to.

Sean doesn't move. He stands behind Sebastian and taunts him again. "Bet you're smiling 'cause you like getting fucked by Mr. Evans."

Shit. No, no, _no_.  Sebastian's mouth goes dry, his heart drops to his stomach. Sean can’t say that, he can’t mention Chris, he doesn’t have the right to say his name. He doesn’t want to hear the name that brings him so much joy pronounced by the one still giving him nightmares. Rounding on Sean, he spits at him. "What the fuck did you just say?" He tries to sound confident, but he’s already falling to pieces inside.

 “I said,” he pauses and smiles, scanning Sebastian’s reactions, “I bet you like getting your little ass fucked by Mr. Evans.” He smirks and raises his eyebrows, bragging. Turning back to see the rest of their classmates, looking for support.  
  
Sebastian swallows, but his throat is parched. No. He’s not going to play his game, it would only make things worse. Sean doesn’t know anything, he’s just playing with him. He wants to make him angry, and he’s not going to jump with both feet into his trap. He has to be careful of his choice of words. He doesn’t want to involve Chris in this. He can’t do that to him. He owes him much more than ruining his life and career. He would never forgive him. Sebastian would never forgive himself.  
  
“Jealous?” Sebastian tries to laugh bitterly. But inside, not so deep inside, he’s dying, worried sick. He tries to maintain a straight face, doesn’t want to give Sean the joy of seeing him concerned by his words. He’s not sure he’s successful.   
  
“C’mon Sebby, jealous?” Sean laughs, leaning his forearms against the lockers. “You know I can have your ass when I want.” Sebastian fight his instinct to step back when his face comes closer. “ _Anyone_ could. You’re just a whore.” Sean is smirking at him now, gleeful and malevolent.

That fucking smile. He’s going to make him swallow that smile.   
  
“You begged me so many times to be inside you, remember?” Sean says.

 Don’t remember.  Just don’t remember. Not his arms around you, not his lips on yours. Don’t remembers his words either. Don’t remember him saying he loves you, don’t remember that. Forget the pet names. Forget the cuddles, forget the kisses. Forget when you were alone, only the two of you. Forget those stolen moments in his bedroom. Forget his damn words. Forget him destroying you, soiling you, walking on you like you’re a goddamn doormat.

But then it hits him suddenly, even if he wants to forget all of that, he shouldn’t. It’s making him stronger. Sean broke him but he’s still alive. He’s struggling, but he’s _still alive_. He’s in pieces but he’s trying. And he has Chris.  Has him and even if he doesn’t understand why Chris likes him, he does, and Sebastian likes him too. _Loves him_. Don’t fight Sebastian. Don’t give Sean the satisfaction to still have any influence over you.

It’s so hard to do, the more he remembers, the more he’s begging himself to not remember and the more he wants Sean to suffer. Hurt him physically, hit him until he starts to feel how much pain Sebastian felt, _feels._ He’s gritting his teeth, clenching his jaw so they don’t chatter. focusing on his breathing to try and keep it even. _Whore, beg, anyone._ Those three words running, screaming through his head.

“Or did your dear teacher made you forget that?” Sean stops, scrutinizing him and his smiles goes wider. “Does he make you beg too?”

No. No Sebastian, no. Don’t. Don’t fight, and don’t cry. Just don’t let him have an influence on you again.

“I bet he does, he knows what a loud little slut you are.”

Something inside him snaps. He can already feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes but he refuses to give Sean the satisfaction of seeing him cry. "Shut up! Just _shut up_!" he screams. With every ounce of force he can muster he shoves Sean backwards, towards the bank of lockers behind him. Sean hits the lockers with a dull thud. There's a brief moment where everything goes quiet. All Sebastian can hear is the blood pounding in his ears.

Then all hell breaks loose. The other boys that had been standing around, watching and leering are now shouting and yelling. "Fight, fight," they start to chant.

" _You little shit_." Sean springs forwards from the lockers, grabbing Sebastian by the front of his shirt. Sean's fist connects with his face, filling Sebastian's ears with the crack of knuckles meeting mouth.

There's a metallic taste on his tongue, blood, adrenaline, he's not sure which. "Fuck you," he spits, trying to shove Sean off of him. But Sean doesn't let go, won't let go. Bringing his arm up, Sebastian connects his fist with Sean's nose, but the gloating look never leaves Sean’s face.

“The little bitch wants to fight,” Sean says. He’s enjoying this. Drops of blood starts falling from his nostrils but he’s still wearing that smile. _God_ , there are no word to express how sick that smile makes Sebastian feel, how disgusted.  
  
It’s like every punch Sebastian throws is meant to kill Sean, not hurt him, not just damage him like Sean damaged him, but _destroy_ him. There’s so much anger, rage, fury in Sebastian, so much he’s been holding back, so much he wants to make Sean pay for. His hand hurts more with every hit, but he doesn’t stop.  
  
Neither of them stop.

For every punch Sebastian throws, Sean answers with one of his own. Sebastian's back up against the lockers now, can feel the cool metal digging into the back of his head. Sean's hand grips his shoulder so tightly that he can already feel bruises forming. He doesn't care, doesn't care how much he's bleeding. He only wants to see Sean bleed, see him hurting.

He's so angry, so enraged that he can't speak, doesn't even bother to try and tell Sean what he's feeling, thinking. He just lets his fists do the talking. Pulling his arm back as far as he can, he connects his fist with Sean's jaw. His hand is already so sore that the sharp contact of bones barely registers.

Sean's next punch catches him on the corner of his mouth, splitting his lip open, slamming his head back into the lockers. A gush of blood, hot and salty pours down his face as Sebastian slides to the floor.

Sean towers over him menacingly, his bloody knuckles coming towards Sebastian's face again when they're suddenly interrupted.

“Enough! Enough you two!”

Sebastian doesn’t recognize the voice of his teacher at first, it’s only when he appears in his field of vision that he realizes it’s Mr. Winchester, the gym teacher, and if he didn’t recognize his voice, he still wouldn’t be sure who it was because his vision is slightly fuzzy.

“I said enough, are you fucking deaf?!” Mr. Winchester drags Sean by the back of his collar, angrily pulling off of Sebastian.

Sebastian stands, getting to his feet a concentrated effort. Both of them are on their feet, both bloody and still fuming. They stare at each other for what feels like minutes, but is really only seconds. The tension is palpable in the room and everyone has become suddenly quieter. 

“Is someone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on ?!” Mr. Winchester asks loudly, his gaze shifting between the two of them. Waiting for an answer, an explanation that doesn’t come.

“I’m waiting!” If he wasn’t already irritated before, he certainly is now. “Don’t wanna talk? Great, ‘cause I don’t have time for your bullshit. Principal’s office, now, both of you!” Mr. Winchester turns back to face the other students, pointing at two of them. “You two. You make sure they arrive there without fighting again.”

Before he leaves the locker room Sebastian picks up his bag, glancing at the door when he sees Chace, a towel around his waist, shaking his head. It’s not sadness, not disapproval either, Sebastian doesn’t have the time to guess what it is, either that or he doesn’t have any concentration left.

The walk to the principal's office is agonizing. Sebastian's face is aching, his bleeding lip already swelling. His fists are numb and the adrenaline is still coursing through his body, leaving him feeling shaky.

The secretary looks aghast when the bloodied, bruised, boys enter the office. "Have a seat, boys. Mr. Wells will be out in a minute."

Staring at the floor, Sebastian can feel Sean shooting him dirty looks as they sit, the spare chair between them not distance enough.

Finally Mr. Wells emerges from his office. He looks from Sean, to Sebastian, shaking his head. "Both of you, in my office now."

They both stand, careful to have as much distance as possible between them. Especially avoiding sitting next to each other at all cost, both dragging the chairs away as much as they can before finally sitting, and the principal doesn’t seem to care a bit about it.

“Explanations gentlemen?” he asks as he sits in his chair and adjusts his tie. Like their gym teacher he’s waiting for an answer that will not come. He takes a deep, loud breath and looks at Sean. “Your version.” He’s not asking, he’s ordering.   
  
Sean glances at Sebastian cockily for a second, _god_ , he’s going to make him eat his teeth. The sound of Sean’s voice irritates him from the first word going out of his dirty mouth. Looking at the trail of drying blood flowing from Sean’s nose, Sebastian contemplates the mess he made of his face. Proudly contemplates. But it’s still so little, it’s not even the beginning of what he could have, would have done if they weren’t interrupted.  
  
“Just a game that went wrong,” Sean says.

 _Liar_. He looked for it, asked for his punch in the face, he started it all and he’s just going to lie about it. Just like that. Of course Sebastian can’t snitch him, because then he’ll have to explain everything. _Have to explain why his classmate insinuated his teacher was sleeping with one of his student._ And he’s not a rat anyway.  
  
“A game,” Mr. Wells lets an irritated laugh escape his throat, “Do you think I’m an idiot Mr. Reeves?” Sean shakes his head, looking at the floor. “I asked you if you take me for an idiot?”  
  
“No,” he coughs. “No, sir.”

Mr. Wells glares at both of them. Sean isn't spilling the real story. Sebastian knows it's his turn now. His breathing is still ragged, he can't seem to get his heartbeat under control.

"And what's your version, Mr. Stan? This was a game gone wrong?"

Sebastian swallows, the iron taste of blood still in his mouth. "No, sir," he mumbles. It's a risk, he knows. He doesn't want to bring up Chris, doesn't want to get either of them in trouble.

"Well then, care to enlighten me?" Mr. Wells asks, raising an eyebrow.

"He insulted me, sir," he starts, choosing his words carefully.Whatever you say, do not involve Chris, _do not,_ he keeps repeating to himself.

“And what word did Mr. Reeves use?” He asks back, tying his hands on his desk.  
  
“It wasn’t one word precisely, it was a whole thing. He also tried to intimidate me, I just defended myself,” Sebastian says, glancing at Sean to look at his reaction. None.  
  
“And has nobody ever taught you to not take justice into your own hands, Mr. Stan?” His tone is surprisingly softer, knowing he probably has the beginning of a half-truth.  
  
“I let my emotions get the best of me.” He wants to say more, and tell Mr. Wells what a fucking prick Sean is but he can’t, so he takes it all on himself, like he always does.  
  
“Well gentlemen, this school has a tolerance zero for this kind of behavior. You’re both expelled for the rest of the day and I’ll think about your punishment and inform you of it later.” He leaves his chair and walks towards them. “I expect to not see these kind of actions from either of you ever again.” He moves to reach the doorknob and turns back to face them. “Is that clear?”

"Yes, sir," they both chorus.

Sean's already out of his chair, halfway across the room before Sebastian can move. He stands up, panic rising in his chest. How's he going to explain this to his mother? To Chris?

He can’t hide it, he’s sure everyone is already talking about it, and it’s not like he can wear make up to hide the bruises he can guess are already appearing.

Sean is out the door, _good riddance_ , when Mr. Wells stops him.

"Sebastian," his voice is quiet, concerned. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

Shit, no of course there isn't. "No, I don't think so, sir," he says, avoiding Mr. Wells' eyes. If he was going to talk to someone about what happened, it surely won’t be the principal of his high school.

"Well, if you change your mind..." he trails off. "Now, go home, and let's not make a habit of this," he tells him again.

Leaving school, all Sebastian can think about is the fallout, if Sean already thinks he's fucking Chris, how many other people think it? His chest is tight and it's even worse when he finally gets home and takes a look in the mirror.

His lip is swollen, crusted with dried blood. Bruises are already forming around both eyes and he can see the imprint of Sean's fingers on his shoulder.

Running a cloth under warm water, he tries to scrub the blood from his face, wincing at the sting of the cotton on his tender lip.

He can’t stop staring at himself. He can feel the tears coming, his chin is trembling, he’s shaking. He’s leaning on the washbasin, both hands gripping it tightly. His breathing is getting faster and faster, and it almost hurts him. He wants to yell and throw his fist into the mirror. He’s breathing so fast he starts getting dizzy, he’s panting. He’s crying now.   
  
He just stares at his own pale reflection, trying to inhale and exhale properly. He fails and his head starts spinning. Tiny black spots appearing before his eyes, and soon there are more and more and he knows what it means. He knows he’s going to faint. He’s light-headed but he manages to reach the shower and get undressed. Taking off his shirt and turning on the water. He kicks off his shoes across the room, and one of them hits the door with a loud thud. He takes his pants and his underwear off and rushes under the cold water.   
  
He’s still shuddering but at least now he has a physical reason to. He slowly change the temperature, warming the water more and more before the whole room is filled with steam. He doesn’t move, letting the jets of water hit him in the face, as if he needs any more pain. At least the water drowns out the sound of his quiet crying. 

He falls slowly, sitting on the shower floor, curled up on himself.  
  
He doesn’t know how long he stays in there, he loses track of time before he hears his phone buzzing inside of his pocket, in his jeans on the floor.

Shutting off the shower, Sebastian moves in slow motion. He's not sure why he doesn't grab a towel, dry off first as he steps out of the shower. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, not caring that he's dripping water everywhere, he fishes in his pocket for his phone.

His heart jumps in his chest when he sees the text is from Chris.

**What happened?**

He's trying to think of what to say, how to explain, when another text appears on his screen.

**Are you alright? Please, Sebastian, let me know what's going on.**

Water beads on his screen as he sends a text back.

**I'm fine. Face hurts, but I'll live.**

That's a lie, he's anything but fine. He's still shaky, still full of anger and something he can't even define. Then it hits him. Fear, it's fear that's coursing through him. He's afraid that everything he and Chris have is going to come crashing down around him. He already thought he lost Chris once, he wouldn’t be able to live that again, and that was just one day.

**Can you come over tonight? I want to see you, make sure you're okay for myself. And talk about what happened.**

He wants to smile, at the thought of seeing Chris. Would smile except it would hurt his mouth too much. That and he's not really sure what to tell Chris, not sure how much Chris already knows. He's never been good at talking about his emotions, sharing his feelings. Every time he did, every time he talked to Chris about his feelings, he felt so frail, vulnerable. He hates that, but he could use one of Chris’ hug right now. How the fuck is he supposed to explain to Chris what happened. Maybe it’s too late, maybe everyone knows about them, maybe his life is ruined. He can feel tears threatening to fall again as he texts back.

**My mom's working late tonight, so I can come over for a little. She's going to be pissed at me when she finds out I got sent home for fighting.**

He feels his heart skip a beat thinking about his mom. _Oh god_ , he can already imagine her face, and her reaction.  Like disappointing Chris wasn’t enough, he’s going to disappoint his mom as well. He’s letting down the only people he cares about.  
  
 **Even just a few minutes is okay for me, I just want to see you**.  
  
Again, he wants to smile, seeing how Chris cares about him, but it just hurts him more. He can’t tell him. He can’t tell him what happened, what Sean said, he just can’t. Tears start falling from his eyes again, obstructing his vision. He sits down, still naked and soaked. Still shaking and lost in his thoughts of self-hatred. He suddenly wonders how did Chris heard about it, did it already spread through the hallways? Does everybody already knows about it?  
  
 **How did you hear about it?**  
  
His heart is beating fast again, and he lets his head fall back against the shower wall. His fingers tighten on his phone when it buzzes again in his palm.   
  
**Other teachers were talking about it. I’m sorry I have to go… Just be there when you can.**

He sends the text and sets his phone aside. He's already starting to get chilled, but he still doesn't get up. Drawing his knees up to his chin, Sebastian huddles on the bathroom floor, arms wrapped around himself, crying.

When he does get up to grab a towel, he looks at his reflection once more. He looks as bad as he feels. Apart from the blood being gone, his face looks worse than before. He's definitely got two black eyes, his lip is swollen and throbbing and his eyes are blood shot from all the crying.

In his room he finds clean clothing, carefully pulling his shirt over his head. His knuckles are bruised and swollen too, making it hard to do up the zipper and button on his jeans.

First things first, he cleans up the bathroom, hiding his bloody shirt in the bottom of the hamper, mopping up the puddles from the floor. He doesn't need to give his mom anything else to be upset with him about. When he's finished cleaning, Sebastian realizes he has no idea what time Chris will actually get home. He knows when school lets out of course, but does Chris leave right away? Does he have to stay? What if the principal wants to talk to him, if everyone's talking about the fight.

Unsure what else to do, Sebastian sets out for Chris' house. There's no answer at the door when he arrives, so he sits on the step, waiting for Chris to come home.

He waits, and waits, stewing in his thoughts. After an half hour –or maybe an hour ?- he sees Chris parking his car from afar. He wants to get up on his feet but he’s unsure he has the strength to so he doesn’t, he stay still, sitting on the stairs. He watches Chris walking, coming closer and closer, and the more he walks toward him and the more he can guess his expression of horror. Yeah, he may have lied a little about his condition.  
  
“ _God_ , are you kidding me?” It’s not mean, it’s not loud, it’s stupefaction. Sebastian wants to laugh but it hurts him and his face contracts in pain.  
  
“It’s not that bad...” he tries to reassure Chris, but he’s lying. He looks awful on the outside but it’s worse inside. Chris lends him a hand to help him get up on his feet, once he is Chris is just examining his face, scanning every detail, he looks mad. He’s probably mad. There’s definitely anger in his eyes, but also fear and sadness. Chris keeps Sebastian’s hand in his and drags him into his apartment.  
  
The door isn’t even closed yet and Chris’ fingers reach his face, not touching it, just hovering. Sebastian tries to avoid his gaze, looking everywhere but in his eyes. He can’t look at him, he can’t look at his expression one more time, but just thinking about it, replaying the scene in his head….

That's all it takes to bring tears to his eyes again. Chris' concern for him is more than he's used to.

"Shit, don't cry, shh, Sebastian, it's all right," Chris says, reaching for him. His hand lands on Sebastian's shoulder and he winces. It hurts physically, it’s not all right. Nothing is all right.

Chris pulls his hand back. "What the hell?"

"It's nothing," Sebastian tells him, lies to him. He doesn’t want to worry him more, but it doesn't stop Chris from pulling back the collar of his shirt, seeing the fresh bruises.

"Jesus," Chris breathes out. "You're definitely not okay. Shit, will you please tell me what happened?"

"How much do you know?" Sebastian mumbles through his sore, split lip. He can’t tell him. _He can’t._

Chris sighs heavily. "Just enough that the entire school is talking about you and Sean Reeves beating the shit out of each other in the locker room. Because he insulted you?"

“Well that’s all, that’s what happened,” he murmurs, feeling a tear burning his face encountering a fresh scar. He can’t talk, still avoiding looking at Chris.   _He can’t tell him._ How is he supposed to tell him...  
  
“Baby, please.” He sounds concern, he is, there isn’t a doubt about that. But he can also hear Chris’ voice breaking, that’s when he choose to meet his eyes. “Please tell me.” Chris’ hands fall on his waist and he winces again. That’s stupor on his boyfriend’s face now, bewilderment when he slowly lift his t-shirt higher. “God.” That’s all Chris can manage to breath. Like he wasn’t already feeling bad enough, seeing Chris’ reaction is killing him. He can’t tell him, he can’t or everything will become real. He can’t tell him, he can’t lose him. He knows Chris’ rules, he knows nobody can know about them, but what If it’s too late ? _He just can’t lose Chris._  
  
“Okay. Sebastian, you have to tell me.” He’s not compliant anymore, he’s determined to know the truth, Sebastian won’t escape that, so he breaks his silence. At least he wants to but what comes out of his mouth are just strangled sobs. Chris’ gaze is even more anxious and serious.

"Sebastian, baby, what did he say to you?" Chris prompts again, gingerly rubbing a hand over Sebastian's back. He said so many things, and made Sebastian think so many others. Even if he wants to he could never find the right words to begin to explain all the dimension of what happened this morning.

Sobbing harder now, Sebastian struggles to say it, struggles to tell Chris the truth.

"He asked if I liked fucking you," he says, running the words together.

Chris' voice is tight, full of barely controlled anger. "He accused you of sleeping with me?"

"I tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't stop and he... told me, he reminded me how much I liked begging for it, he knows, Chris," he wails. "He knows because he's the one who—" his words break off in a sob, his breath hitching in his throat. He can’t tell him. He can’t say the words.

Chris' eyes narrow. Sebastian can see the tension in the set of his jaw. "He's the one..." It’s not even his choice, words just won’t come.

He can tell Chris is seething now, and Sebastian can't help but shrink back from him. Is he mad at him, because of what Sean said about the two of them?

“The one who what?” His tone is harsh, he sounds like he’s about to lose his temper. He’s mad. Oh, he’s _so mad_. Sebastian can’t help but burst into fresh tears, remembering Sean, remembering the fight, and seeing Chris like that, it’s way more than he can handle at once. Chris is mad, and he’s mad at him and it’s hurting him more than all the wounds he has, hurting him more than everything Sean did or said. _God,_ Chris is mad at him and he just want to cry, he doesn’t understand how he can still be on his feet when his legs feels so numb.  
  
“He’s _the one_!” He doesn’t mean to yell it, but he does anyway.   
  
Chris looks confused, but still so angry. Even when they argued before he never looked like that, not about Chace, not about college either. That look… the pain is worse than the beating he took earlier. He feels like he’s just been stabbed in the chest, like an open wound, seeing Chris trying to find a meaning to his words.  
  
And then Chris’ face falls, he’s slowly realizing what Sebastian meant by _the one_. Under shock, the muscles of his face relax for an instant and his jaw drops.  
  
“That’s him? Reeves is your ex-boyfriend?”

 _Ouch_ , that hurts, that hurts so bad. His heart is hurting him, beating so fast and hard. "Yes." His voice is barely above a whisper, but Chris still hears him. He wants to laugh at the word boyfriend, as if Sean ever was, but he can’t, he’s crying too much for that.

"That little _shit,_ that little asshole... he fucking broke your heart, made you think you were worthless and now... now he does _this_?”

Sebastian can see that Chris is barely holding his anger back. It's frightening how mad he already is, but there's something seething right underneath the surface, ready to blow up.

He's not defending Sean, never that, but he backtracks, trying to explain. "It's my fault too though, I should have just ignored him, I should have—"

"No, stop right there," Chris says. "Just stop." He’s so mad it’s terrifying, Chris would scare the hell out of him if he could focus enough to see through his tears.

Sebastian's legs are shaking, his whole body is, he needs to sit down or he's afraid he might pass out. Chris barely notices as he wobbles over, collapsing into a kitchen chair.

Chris stands there, rubbing his temples, anger rolling off him in waves. Sebastian doesn't know what to do, but everything is fucked up and it's all his fault. He buries his head in his arms atop the kitchen table. Waiting. Trying to cry in silence, choking back the sound of his sobs because he doesn’t want to upset Chris more. Just trying to be as small as possible, hiding.

All he can hear is Chris grumbling loudly, he can’t focus on what he’s saying because there’s a frenetic beating in his ears. He’s just crying, eyes closed, he’s hurt, both physically and mentally. Drool gushes from his trembling lips.   
  
After a moment, he feels a hand on his back, and a head above him, pressing against his. He didn’t notice when Chris stopped grumbling and muttering. Chris’ hand moves slowly and carefully higher, before finding its way in his hair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” That’s what Chris is whispering, stroking his hair. “Baby I’m sorry, please forgive me.” His voice is wrecked, is… is he crying? “I didn’t mean to yell, I didn’t mean to frighten you, I’m sorry.”  
  
With all the strength he has left, he tries to look up at Chris, his vision is blurred but he can see Chris’ red eyes, he’s not crying but his eyes are wet. “Please, please tell me exactly what happened. Sebastian I need to know.” His voice is so soft now, so sweet, soothing. He crouches, looking into his eyes so deeply Sebastian just can’t look away right now, his wet, teary eyes are captivating. He’s feeling so guilty, it’s all his fault. Chris’ other hand is on his lap, not pressing, but it’s still hurting him. He doesn’t complain though, it feels good to have Chris’ hands on him.  
  
He doesn’t remember how to formulate words, how to organize his thoughts, he’s not even sure he remembers everything that happened anyway, but he tries.  
  
“I… he…” he stutters “He came to me and,” he inhales deeply, “And he said… he said he….” He can’t seem to put together his memories or his words. Chris is staring at him, and there’s still fresh anger left under that sadness, so Sebastian looks away. He can’t say what he’s about to say looking at him anyway.  
  
“He said I was a whore, and I liked to beg, and I was probably begging you to fuck me, and…” he’s spitting out words like the flow of torrent after a storm. He can’t look at Chris or he won’t finish his sentence, he can’t dare risk looking at him because he doesn’t want to see his expression. “And,” that’s probably the most painful part of the sentence, “And he said he could have me whenever he wants.” He can hear Chris boiling again, almost screaming and cursing.

Chris' hand is still in his hair and there's a sharp pain when his fingers tighten involuntarily before relaxing and smoothing his hair against his head again.

"You know that's not true. You're none of those things, Sebastian." Chris' voice is careful, controlled, but Sebastian knows he's still angry. So angry.

He does look at Chris then, and _he_ wants to scream. But he can't, won't. Nostrils flaring he spits the words out. "I am though, it's true. I am... a whore. I did beg you."

Chris' hand is trembling as it comes up to gently cup Sebastian's jaw. His face is tender, sore, but there's something comforting about having Chris' hand there. "You're not a whore. Not mine, and certainly not his. You know I love you. Please... just please tell me that you wouldn't go back to him. Don't do that to me, to yourself."

Go back to him? Those words…it’s like a slap in the face.  
  
Does Chris really believe he’d go back to him? _That he’d leave him?_ He’s shocked and more than slightly offended by that, at least he would be if wasn’t that exhausted and weak. He certainly looks mortified right now, because he is. Does Chris think that little of him?  
  
“Wh-What?” he murmurs after a long minute, dazed.  
  
“I can’t lose you... Please don’t do that to me.” Chris’ voice is soft but heartbreaking.   
  
“I-I don’t want to leave you, Chris.” He’s still stunned by the fact Chris would think that. And Chris looks so relieved hearing his words. It’s awful. He’s relieved to hear him say that, as if it wasn’t obvious enough for him. It hurts him deeply, Chris really thought he would leave him _and for Sean._

Chris must see the shock, the fresh pain on his face, because he straightens, moves up onto his feet and leans on him, bringing his face close to Sebastian's. "I didn't think you would, not really. I don't know what made me say that. I'm sorry, baby. I just... I know how much he hurt you, how much he screwed with your emotions."

"That doesn't mean I'd ever leave you for him," Sebastian says indignantly. "How could you even think that, after everything, after I fucking smashed his face in because he's spreading rumors about me? About us?"

Chris looks hurt now too. His eyes are barely red and wet anymore but his expression is still so heartbreaking. "Sebastian, please. I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry I said it. It's just a big shock, seeing you look like this, knowing the fight was because of us, because of me. It's my fault, we haven't been careful enough." He leans in and kisses Sebastian's temple, placing his lips gently against the one spot on Sebastian's face that doesn't seem to hurt.

But Sebastian moves back, before he actually does. “Your fault?” That came out harsher than he intended but he doesn’t correct it and keeps talking. “How is that your fault? It’s nothing but mine. I should have let him talk, I should have ignored him…”  
  
Chris can’t take the blame, not for that, absolutely not for that. He’s the one wasn’t smart enough to avoid a fight. Not Chris.  
  
“Baby—”

Chris wants to talk but Sebastian comes out of his thoughts and interrupts him. “No! It’s me, it’s on me! I forbid you to say it’s your fault. It just was… It was too much, what he said.. I just…” His chin starts trembling, his throat gets dryer and his eyes wetter. Remembering what Sean had said. “He didn’t want to stop talking and he said I was a whore, and that he could have me if he wanted to, but _you_ , the way he talked about you, I couldn’t…” He’s crying again.  
  
“Shhh.” Chris tries to kiss that one uninjured spot, and this time Sebastian lets him, his beard rasping his skin as Sebastian tries to hide his wince of pain. “Baby you are _not_ a whore,” he insists, his tone calm. “And you know better than to listen to him. We have a something, we’re _a couple_ and I love you and I’m not letting him hurt you again. I don’t care what he said, _I love you_.”

Sebastian's loves hearing Chris say those words, even though he's aching, inside and out, it means so much to him. He can't help but return them. "I love you too. I'm sorry, I keep fucking things up. It's always me fucking them up." He wants Chris to wrap his arms around him, just hold him, he doesn't care how much it hurts, but he won't ask.

Chris sits down finally, pulling his chair next to Sebastian's. "Listen to me, you did not fuck anything up. This is not your fault. That kid, Sean," he spits out the name, "Is nothing but trouble. He doesn't deserve a second thought. But it's started a lot of rumors. Other kids that were in the locker room were talking about what he said to you, about you and me."

Sebastian can't seem to meet Chris' eyes anymore. He really is a fuck up.

Putting his hand on Sebastian's knee, Chris keeps talking. "I haven't gotten in trouble, but... there's always a possibility. I mean, we both knew that, but now... maybe it's for the best if we don't see each other as often, try and not be as obvious."

Sebastian can barely bring himself to ask the question. "So what are you saying?"

He’s scared of the answer.


	17. Fuck You Sean Reeves

“I’m saying that,” Chris exhales and tries to pick his words carefully, “Until you graduate, we should keep things casual.” Sebastian looks like he wants to reply but Chris stops him before he does, and still with a calm voice he adds, “I don’t like it either. I want to be with you, _god help me_ , I want to be with you 24/7. But baby, you know as much as I love you, I can’t lose my job.”  
  
He’s desperately trying to not show the anger that has him fuming. If Sebastian wasn’t around he would throw the table across the room. He would. But Sebastian looks so bad, sad and bruised everywhere and protecting him, comforting him is the only thing keeping Chris from losing his mind. Reassuring Sebastian is the only thing he can hold on to, to not find a way to know Sean’s address and give him a nocturnal visit.  
  
“But what do you mean by slow ? I mean, okay no more teasing in class I get that but,” Sebastian’s voice is wrecked, he sounds so scared, “We can still see each other, right?”  
  
Chris can’t hold back a surprised chuckle “Do you really think I can survive without seeing you? Don’t be ridiculous.” He’s smiling, trying to be gentle. Reassuring Sebastian. Again. It’s the only thing he wants to do right now. He lost his temper minutes ago and he should never have, not in front of Sebastian, not while he was crying. “Of course we can, but just not as much. And we need to be more careful about everything, no more teasing, no more dirty notes, no more _tutoring sessions_ as often as we do.”   
  
Even if Chris knows he’s right, that it’s the only thing to do, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept, and Sebastian still has that hurt puppy face he wears so well. “It’s just for few weeks, until you graduate and then we can go back to normal, and even more,” Chris says stroking his knee.

He knows Sebastian won't be happy with that arrangement, truth be told, neither will he. But it's not a choice anymore, it's a necessity.

"Don't worry though, we can still text each other all the time, on the days we can't see each other. Any time you need to talk, you know that, right? " He hopes he does. Hopes Sebastian knows he can talk to him anytime he wants to, tell him anything he needs to.

It’s breaking Chris’ heart, seeing him like this, knowing he can’t even comfort him for the next few days because now they have to be extra careful, and _now_ is when Sebastian needs him the most and he can’t even be there for him. Not as much as he wants to. The anger is still boiling under the surface, ready to come back, strike at anytime but Sebastian is soothing him.

Sebastian nods, patting his sleeve on his face. He hisses as his lip makes contact with the material.

"Did you put anything on that lip? It really looks awful," Chris says, angling his head to get a better look at it.

"No. Don't worry, I'm sure that when my mom is done yelling at me, she'll fix me up."

"I have a first aid kit, are you sure you don't want me to get it now?" Chris barely listens to Sebastian’s answer, his eyes fixed on that lip he can’t even kiss to quiet the pain.

Glancing at the clock, Sebastian shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I should probably go. My mom's gonna be home soon."

"Oh, right." Chris nods. He almost forgot Sebastian has only minutes to spend with him. So, this is what it’s going to be like now, Chris thinks, barely seeing each other. "Do you want a ride home?"

“No I’m fine, thanks. I need fresh air, walking will be great.” Sebastian gets up on his feet, with a little difficulty and a wince of pain, but he seems better when he starts walking to the door. Not that Chris doesn’t want to drop him at his house, but he’s somewhat glad Sebastian is leaving him alone. He needs to let out all the rage and wrath he’s holding back.  
  
“Hey,” Chris says with a soft voice, moving one of his hands to Sebastian’s back, “You text me later, ‘kay ?”  
  
Sebastian returns a small smile and nods. He looks really awful and Chris wants to hug him more than ever. He doesn’t though, and keeps his hand on Sebastian’s back, not even exerting any pressure, just being there. Their eyes meet each other’s and they stare for a few seconds before Chris starts speaking again. 

“I love you.” He doesn’t need to hear it back –even if he adores when Sebastian does. He just want him to know it, and he knows he needs to hear it. Always reassuring Sebastian, till the last second.

Sebastian just gives him a cute smile in response and opens the door before leaving his apartment. Chris watches, making sure Sebastian can walk properly before finally closing the door after he’s out of sight. Now he’s alone.

With Sebastian gone, out of earshot, Chris doesn't try to keep his temper in check any longer. He wants to hurt someone. No, not just someone, Sean. He knows he can't, knows that can _never_ happen. But he wants to take his anger out on something, anything.

He crashes his fist into the closed door. The sting of the wood isn't as satisfying as imagining his fist hitting Sean's face, but it'll have to do. It's not enough.

He wanders around his apartments, walking around in circles. Grumbling, gritting his teeth. His heart accelerates and there’s so much he wants to do. He needs to hit something, to break something, _he needs it._

"That stupid, fucking little prick," he shouts. Grabbing a glass off the counter, he hurls it to the floor, shards of glass spraying across the linoleum.

Not wanting to destroy his entire apartment, he grabs his cigarettes, opens the door and steps outside. He'll worry about cleaning up the glass, taking care of his fist later. Right now he needs some fresh air, maybe that will help him clear his head. He can’t stay in his apartment for one more second anyway. He feels like a rat trapped in a cage, going crazy.

It doesn’t help at first, walking alone down the street with nowhere to go, just wandering with his thoughts shouting in his head, cigarette dangling from his lips. That doesn’t help because all he can think of is how hurt was Sebastian. And how much he wants to make that fucking jerk who hurt him _twice_ , pay for it.

All the bruises and scars Sebastian had, _has_ because of Sean. And how much of a mess he made him _again_. He hears Sebastian saying he was a whore in his head one more time and he wants to punch the next goddamn lamppost he passes. How can anyone think that of Sebastian?

 _Yes,_ he does beg Chris but that’s only because it fits the context in the moment, it doesn’t make him a whore for that. If Sebastian wasn’t always the one unable to wait, Chris would be the one begging, because he craves him, he loves him. He isn’t a fucking whore. _God_. He’s so angry, he’s fucking furious. God have mercy on Sean if he sees him right now because the guy would probably end up buried six feet under.

He's been so lost in his thoughts, he's walked to a part of the neighborhood he doesn't recognize. That's probably a sign he should go home. Lighting another cigarette and retracing his steps, Chris walks back to his apartment.

He's forgotten about the smashed glass until he nearly steps on it. Still hearing Sebastian calling himself a whore, the words echoing in his head, he cleans up the shards of glass, looking carefully to make sure there's none left on the floor.

Shit, it's getting late and he still has work to do, papers to correct and he's not sure how he'll be able to concentrate on them.

Clearing a space on the kitchen table, he tries to work. If it takes him all night, that's fine. He's not sure he'll be able to sleep tonight anyway.

He's trying to focus, but the papers are all blurring together. He's on edge and impatient and that's when he realizes he's waiting for Sebastian to text him. Hoping that his mother isn't flipping out, hoping that he's okay. He needs another cigarette to even try to focus on those stupid papers where his fucking students aren’t able to solve a stupid simple equation. Because it’s so fucking simple, how can they _not_ give him the right answer. He waits, and waits, smokes and smokes until he has one cigarette left.

But his text doesn’t come, and hours pass. Chris gets frustrated, he can’t focus on the homework and every time he looks up and sees where Sebastian was sitting his anger comes back. Flashes of Sebastian’s bruised face, their discussion and that fucking word ‘whore’ again, it’s driving him insane. And the look on Sebastian’s face, his tears… He almost want to throw his glass of water next to him against the wall. But he doesn’t, just grits his teeth and wait for Sebastian’s text.  
  
And finally, after hours his phone buzzes on the table and he jumps for it. It’s Sebastian.  
  
 **Sorry, it took me time, but my mom gave me another interrogation and cleaned my face.**  
  
He wants to know what he told his mother, and how she reacted.

**What did your mom say? How's your face?**

He's hoping Sebastian's mother wasn't too hard on him. Yes, he never should have gotten into a fight in the first place, but knowing what he knows, as angry as he is, he can't blame him. Of course he doesn't know what Sebastian told his mother, or how much she knows either.

**She's pretty pissed. But she cried when she saw my face. She's mad too because I wouldn't tell her much about what happened.**

Understandable. Sebastian's face made him want to cry, he can only imagine how his mother felt seeing it. Another text comes through then.

**She put some shit on my lip, gave me some ice packs. Still fucking hurts though.**

Why hadn't he thought to offer Sebastian an ice pack? Idiot. How funny that Sebastian wasn't insisting his face was fine anymore. Of course it has to be hurting him. His heart drops when he reads the last part, knowing Sebastian _is_ hurt. He shouldn’t be. They weren’t careful enough and if Chris had been, maybe, _maybe,_ that fucking Sean Reeve would have left Sebastian alone.

He wants to ask him a million more questions, wants to know exactly what his mother said to him. But he doesn't know if Sebastian will open up to him about it. So instead he sends a short, simple response.

**I love you.**

It a long time for Sebastian to answer and Chris wonders if he didn’t fall asleep. Checking his watch, it’s late, yeah he probably fell asleep and that’s not a bad thing, he needs the rest. Halfway through the homework he’s trying to correct, not without difficulty, his phone vibrates against the table.  
  
 **I love you … I’m exhausted but I can’t find a position that doesn’t hurt like hell**.  
  
He can relate to that. Chris is not a fighter or a bad-tempered person, well as long as it doesn’t involve Sebastian crying apparently, but he’s been in fights before and he knows laying in bed isn’t as comfortable as you could think. He can’t help but start picturing Sebastian wincing and turning himself in his bed, getting frustrated. There is so much Chris wants to do, wants to answer. A huge part of him wants to be with Sebastian and take care of him but there is that small part who is glad he isn’t because watching his wounded face just throws fresh waves of anger through him. As much as he doesn’t want to know, he has to ask Sebastian how he is.   
  
 **Are you sure you’re okay?**  
  
It’s a dumb question. Of course he’s not okay, how could he after everything that happened today. Chris starts listing every situation Sebastian’s been through, but his phone buzzes again and it drags him out of his thoughts.  
  
 **I just… I keep remembering things you know… Hearing back everything he said. That I’m a whore and a slut and he can have me…I just… I keep hearing him.**  
  
God just thinking about it.. Chris wants to throw the table across the room. A whore and slut. He’s beyond furious and his brain finds a good idea to remind him that Sebastian _thought_ he was one. _God_. He sends the glass he was trying not to smash earlier flying across the room. It crashes loudly against one of the walls, exploding in pieces under the impact, breaking the loud silence in the room, but doesn’t provide any satisfaction. Just looking at Sebastian’s text, re-reading it, he wants to smash his phone too. He starts typing but it takes a few tries before finding the right letters, making him lose his temper when his phone auto-corrects his words.  
  
 **For the last time, you are NOT a whore, and you’re not a slut either Sebastian. I know it’s hard but stop thinking about it, think about something else, think about nice moments we had. Can you try that?**  
  
Chris is a real jerk because _he_ can’t stop thinking about it and presses send before checking his text. Mistake, his first sentence sounds way more crude that he intends.

Sebastian's text comes back and he can almost hear the bitterness in his words.

**Easy for you to say. You don't have to live with the things I've done, have that in your head all the time.**

Chris' anger is still so strong he's suddenly glad there's nothing else for him to hurl off the table. Nothing that would be satisfying to throw anyway. Before he can even try to formulate a response, another text arrives.

**I'm trying though, please believe me.**

God, that kid... he's got his heart so twisted up. Wanting nothing more than to hug him, kiss him, but still seeing his bruised and battered face, Chris types a careful reply.

**I know you are. That's all I ask. Because I love you, and you're a good person, Sebastian.**

He hopes that will at least make him smile.

Sebastian's reply _almost_ makes him smile.

**I really wish I could kiss you right now. But just thinking about it makes my fucking mouth hurt.**

He knows he won't be kissing Sebastian for some time, not until that lip is fully healed.

**I'll just have to find those one or two spots that don't hurt you and kiss you there.**

Chris waits for an answer but there is none. Sebastian must have finally find a comfortable— or at least less painful— position and fall asleep. Even with everything going through his brain, as exhausted as he was, there’s no doubt he fell asleep fast.   
  
Chris stays up late though. It takes him more time than usual to correct his student’s work, he can’t focus properly. He’s cleaning up the mess he made _again_ at three in the morning. He tries to go to bed and sleep but it’s impossible. He’s just rolling on his back, and then on his belly, and his back again. Tries to get comfortable on his right side, left side, but that still doesn’t work. 

So here he is now, still awake— with probably only 3 hours left before he’s supposed to be waking up—standing in his kitchen. Staring into his open fridge. There’s nothing he wants to eat. There’s nothing he wants to do except sleep –or maybe there’s one, but it’s illegal and that would lead him to jail, and he will no longer be able to spend time with the person he killed for— so that’s not an option. He sits on his couch, smoking his last cigarette, hoping that maybe if he couldn’t fall asleep in his bed, with the couch it will be different. But it isn’t.  
  
He’s tired and minutes pass and pass, and he finally gives up on the idea of getting any rest when the clock says he’s supposed to be waking up in an half hour. He just spent the whole night remembering everything, every word, every bruise on Sebastian’s face, on his body. He takes a shower hoping he can wash away his thoughts. But that doesn’t work and soon he’s on his way to school, stopping to buy more cigarettes on his way.

* * * *

He knows it's going to be a long day. He's exhausted, still angry and worst of all, he's not sure how he's going to sit through a class with Sebastian's damaged face looking back at him.

He's on edge, nothing he can do to change that. He hasn't been sitting at his desk long when he's paged over the intercom.

"Mr. Evans, please report to Mr. Wells’ office. Mr. Evans to Mr. Wells’ office."

The drone of the secretary's voice is so monotone, so commonplace that he almost doesn't notice it at first. But then he does, and it strikes a spark of terror in his heart.

He walks to the office, trying to swallow down the sick feeling. Is this it? Is he going to be fired?

When he's face to face with Mr. Wells, the feeling only gets worse.

"Chris, have a seat," Mr. Wells says.

Chris does, and trying to sound nonchalant, he asks the question he's afraid to hear the answer to. "Why did you want to see me, sir?"

Wells looks at him, probably taking in his haggard appearance. "I'm just giving you a heads up. I'm sure you heard about yesterday's fight."

Chris nods. _Everyone_ has heard. He heard about it in the staff room. He heard Dean talking about it, about how Stan and Reeves beat the hell out of each other in the locker room. And then the rumors and gossip he’s been hearing between teachers, between students while trying to teach his classes.

"Well, the boys are both back today, and I've decided against further punishment, _this time_. The way they look is punishment enough," Wells continues.

Chris tries not to wince at this, thinking again of Sebastian's face. He wants to argue and say that Sebastian needs no punishment, but Sean deserves to be kicked out of school. He doesn’t. He can’t say that. But that doesn’t stop him for thinking it.

"I know you have Mr. Stan in some of your classes, so I'm speaking to all of his teachers, as well as Mr. Reeves'. I want a close eye kept on both of them, any signs of misbehavior and I want to know about it. Are we clear?" He shoots Chris a look that says he has more to say, but doesn't.

"Yes sir, of course." A feeling of relief sneaks in, just enough to hope that he's not getting fired, not today. "Anything else sir?"

"No, that's all for now, Chris," Mr. Wells tells him with a sigh.

Chris leaves the principal's office, hoping to get to his classroom before the halls are flooded with students.

He doesn’t even make it four steps out of the office before the bell starts ringing, invading the whole school. Well. He’ll have to face a wave of students to get back to his class then.   
  
He walks calmly, relieve at what actually happened. It could have gone way worse. _It still can_. He frowns at that thought. He wasn’t paying attention to the students walking along with him in the hallways, his mind too focused on Mr. Wells’ words, but when he does focus, that’s when a particular face in the crowd stands out. _Sean._ The kid looks back at him, smirking when he notices Chris watching him.   
  
It’s a quick, proud smile crosses Chris’ face when he sees that Sean is injured too. Hell, Sebastian certainly didn’t miss him. He almost looks worse than Sebastian, and Chris didn’t think that was possible. Good. But his smile doesn’t last long.  
  
Chris grits his teeth, his jaw contracts and he instinctively tightens his hand into a fist. It’s rage in his eyes, he wants to look away, tries to, but he just can’t. And the closer they get and the more he thinks he won’t be able to stop himself from throwing Sean against the wall. Smashing his ugly face in. Make him pay for what he did, _said_ , to Sebastian. He’s more mad about what he said than about the fight. He’s mad about the way he treated Sebastian too. Making him think he’s a worthless whore who doesn’t deserve to be loved.  
  
Just thinking about it again… the urge to punch Sean is almost irresistible.   
  
He strides to his classroom. Walking as fast as he can. Hoping nobody is paying attention to him staring at Sean with rage in his eyes. He’s careful enough to not slam the door behind him. He throws a punch at the door before rushing to his desk.

“Fuck.” he splutters in rage.

He’s mad, he’s angry. He’s biting his tongue to not yell, furiously biting his lip. He needs to calm down. His students are about to come in, in just a matter of seconds. They can’t see him like this. “Fuck!” he yells when his fist meets his desk. It hurts like hell but doesn’t care. He just _doesn’t care_ , he’s full of wrath. Ready to explode. _Fuck._

Fuck you Sean Reeves. _Fuck you_. He wants to yell, he can’t.

One more time, he slams his fist into something hard and unyielding, this time the classroom wall. The yellow-painted cement block isn't nearly as satisfying as hitting Sean's face would have been, but it's going to have to do for now. He can't put his job any more at risk.

Hand throbbing now, he looks down at his battered knuckles, flexing his fingers. It hurts like hell, but that's a good thing. If he concentrates on the pain he just might be able to focus and teach his classes.

He's nursing his sore hand, hiding it under his desk when the students enter his classroom. His throat tightens as Sebastian comes in, his face looking just as bad as it did the night before.

It's probably the longest class he's ever had to get through, with one bad thing piled upon the next. Sebastian's cuts and bruises, knowing how hurt Sean's words made him, that fear that he still might lose his job, the pain in his hand. He assigns seat work and spends the period trying not to fall asleep, the exhaustion finally catching up with him. It's the end of class bell that brings him to his senses.

"I want everyone to go over chapter thirteen tonight because we'll be having a quiz on it next week," he informs the class as they're leaving. Hearing them sigh, he wants to sigh too. As if he wants to take the time to plan a whole quiz now, he can’t even focus enough to correct homework and he has to create a whole quiz.

He's trying not to look, but from the corner of his eye he can see that Sebastian is hanging back, waiting for the other students to leave.

As always he’s the last student in the room and he walks to Chris’ desk. Looking at the door, making sure nobody can hear, Chris says softly. “You have to stop doing that.” His voice is soft, resigned. Sebastian seems confused so he adds, “Being the last to leave, you have to stop. That’s a part of the things I meant yesterday by being more careful.”  
  
Sebastian looks hurt by his words but he doesn’t contest it. “Oh…Ok.”  
  
“Sebastian.” Chris says feebly, leaving his chair to get to his feet.  
  
“No. It’s okay, I understand.” Sebastian eyes grow wider when he notices the hand Chris is no longer hiding. “What happened?!” He winces when Chris’ face contracts into frown.  
  
Chris swallows, looking away, sitting on the edge of his desk. He’s the one not answering questions now.

“Did you get into a fight?” It’s not really a question, more of an accusation.  
  
“Avoided one,” Chris answers in a breath, apprehensively meeting Sebastian’s eyes.

He can see it then, in Sebastian's expression. Sebastian knows exactly what he means. Chris isn't even sure _what_ that look on Sebastian's face is, but he's not saying anything.

"You'd better go," he tells Sebastian reluctantly.

Sebastian nods again, brushing his fingertips lightly across Chris' injured knuckle.

He gasps, a sharp intake of air, hissing from the pain, but he can tell Sebastian didn't do it to be cruel. "Text me later," he whispers.

Sebastian's gone then, without a response, but Chris knows he'll hear from him.

The rest of the day is nearly as agonizing, the only good thing is that he's not staring at Sebastian's poor face during the rest of his classes.

He breaths another sigh of relief when the final bell rings and he can go home for the day. Thankfully he doesn't have any work to take home with him, which will give him plenty of time to ice his hand and hopefully get some sleep tonight.

It’s not late but he’s so tired. He’s falling asleep on his couch when he receives a text. He notices then that’s not one or two texts he has, but three. All from Sebastian. He must have fallen asleep for a few minutes.  
  
 **Hey… I know I sound stupid but, are you okay?  
Chris ?… Are you busy or you don’t want to talk to me?  
…Are you mad at me…?**  
  
He checks to see what time is it, and yeah he definitely fell asleep for more than a few minutes.  
  
 **I’m sorry, I’m not mad at you, I fell asleep.**  
  
His hand still hurts like hell, it stings and the ice-pack fell off, sliding out of his hand onto the couch. It’s not even cold anymore anyway. Sebastian’s answers follows really quickly.

**Oh, okay. Are you okay though?**

It's laughable that Sebastian is worried about him and his hand with all the bruises and injuries he has.

**I'll live. It's just my hand, it'll be okay in a few days. How are you?**

He's not sure he wants to hear the truth, but he doesn't want to hear a lie either.

**I'm sore all over. Not as bad as last night.**

Sebastian’s answer is honest and it saddens Chris. At least Sebastian isn't denying how badly he was hurt. Another text from Sebastian follows shortly after.

**I miss you. I know you said we have to be careful. I still miss you though.**

Chris doesn't waste any time texting him back. Doesn't want him to get upset, as always reassuring, comforting Sebastian is the only thing he cares about. Now more than ever, after how bad he is, how affected he is by Sean’s words.

**I know, I do. I miss you too.**

Sebastian's next text makes him smile, clearly he's got a one track mind.

**So when can we see each other again? I mean besides in class? I need to see you Chris.**

Not that Chris would complain to see him at all, but he feels Sebastian is going to make their deal difficult to follow.  
  
 **I want to see you too. But I told you, it’s risky…**  
  
Oh and damn, he’s going to hate himself for that but he sends another text.  
  
 **Can you come to my house on Saturday?**  
  
He probably made Sebastian smile with those two contradictory texts. After all he’s probably as guilty as Sebastian, as hard as he finds the deal to stick to. Months in and he still doesn’t understand what Sebastian has done to him, he’s breaking every rule for that kid. But it’s always worth it.  
  
 **I’ll find a way, I can’t wait.**

He can’t help but smile, even as risky as he knows it is, when he texts Sebastian back.

**Saturday then. That means we both have to be on our best behavior until then.**

He includes himself in that because it's true, and he doesn't want Sebastian to feel like he's calling him out. He smiles, then sends another text.

**I've got to try and get some more sleep. You too, okay?**

In a few seconds, Sebastian's answer makes his smile grow wider.

**I'll try. I'll just think about Saturday, if I can't sleep.**

Shaking his head, Chris hauls himself off the couch and gets ready for bed.

* * * *

The rest of the week is long and although nothing is as bad as that first day after the fight, it’s still hard to see Sebastian's face staring back at him in class. His bruises are still fresh, only yellowing around the edges, making an ugly contrast to the dark purple where the worst of it was. It takes every ounce of willpower Chris has not to keep Sebastian in the classroom and run his fingertips over those bruises. To make sure he’s alright.

Somehow, Sebastian does behave himself, probably because he’s feeling too miserable to do anything else, and that makes it easier for Chris to control himself. And they text every night, he always has a text from Sebastian waiting for him when he checks his phone upon arriving home.


	18. Don’t Blame It On Me Mr. Evans

A week passes, nearly two, since Sebastian’s fight with Sean. Chris can tell from seeing him in class, or in the halls that his cuts are healing and the bruises are fading. Sebastian still looks miserable, but he’s smiling again.

On Wednesday, after school, they exchange texts as usual. Chris keeps busy by working on grading papers between answering Sebastian’s texts. Trying to resist the temptation to light up a cigarette. He's smoked a lot since Sebastian's fight but he's trying harder to quit now, like he promised Sebastian he would. He isn’t expecting Sebastian to give up on junk food, not now though, not if eating junk food helps him to deal with everything. He’s been trying for more than a week and it’s not easy, but hasn’t touched one cigarette since six days ago. It would have been more but when he thinks of the words Sean said to Sebastian, it was either smashing another glass or smoking a cigarette from his last packet.

**How are you feeling today?**

Sebastian’s quick to answer as usual.

**Better than yesterday. I know we have to be careful, but do you think we can see each other this weekend?**

Chris considers it for a minute, he would love to see him, but it’s still risky. While he thinks, Sebastian texts him again.

**Would it make a difference if I said I’d like to get some help with this assignment?**

Chris doesn’t know if it’s the truth or not, but he can’t say no to Sebastian. And having a pretext just gives him a reason to say yes.

**Sure, we can make plans. Saturday afternoon maybe? But you can’t tell anyone.**

Sebastian’s answer makes Chris smile because he can hear Sebastian’s sigh in his head.  
  
 **Will you ever stop saying that ? I’m not an idiot, I don’t want anyone to find out about us**.  
  
Chris answers quickly, losing interest in the papers in front of him now that he has Sebastian’s attention.  
  
 **I know you’re not, it’s not only for you, it’s a reminder for me too. I have to be careful to not talk about our tutoring session at school, you know you can distract me sometimes.**  
  
It’s true. Sebastian can distract him. A lot.

 **Yeah, Mr. Evans, be careful. So that’s a yes for Saturday? You’ll help me with the assignment?**  
  
Chris knows that’s probably not even what Sebastian really has in mind, but even if it’s not he’ll gladly spend time with him. So he tells Sebastian that he will help him with the assignment if he needs him to, and finally can return his attention to the papers he was grading again.

There isn’t much he can do at school besides stare at Sebastian’s wounded face and fight to stop himself from kissing him. Fight to stop himself from smashing Sean’s face through the wall every time he passes him in the hallways. He’s glad he doesn’t have him in class, otherwise he’s sure seeing his face for a whole hour would make him lose his temper. The more time passes and the more Sebastian starts to heal, but Sean still looks really ugly, and Chris can’t help but be proud of Sebastian for that.

He doesn’t see Sebastian again until Friday and somehow, they both behave themselves in class. Sebastian shoots him one sly smile at the end of class, as he’s leaving, but other than that they both manage to exercise amazing self-control.

Friday evening, while he’s finishing up paperwork at home, Sebastian texts him.

**I did good in class today, didn’t I?**

Chris considers telling him no, making a joke about his class work. He doesn’t though, because Sebastian really did behave himself and he’s thankful for it.

**You did. I appreciate that. You want to come over after lunch tomorrow?**

Sebastian’s reply is immediate.

**I’ll be there. I miss you too much to be even one second late.**

Chris smiles as he answers Sebastian, realizing too late his text can be read two ways. Obviously expecting Sebastian to read it the way he didn’t mean.

**You’d better get to sleep early then, so you’re well rested for tomorrow.**

And his answer makes him laugh.  
  
 **Why ? It’s math not PE, unless there’s something you didn’t warn me about**...  
  
Like he expected him to, Sebastian read it the second way. Not that Chris is against any kind of sports with Sebastian, but just remembering the bruises on his body is enough to not get him excited over this idea.  
  
 **Nope nothing, but math requires concentration you know.**  
  
But apparently Sebastian is in the mood for that kind of idea, and he proves it with his next text.  
  
 **So does other things... I can be really focus when you’re around.**  
  
It’s nice to have Sebastian back, after that whole thing with _Sean_ , having Sebastian teasing him and just smiling feels great. And he can’t help but laugh again answering back, he needs to stop this before it gets too far.  
  
 **God, go to bed kid! And don’t be late.**  
  
Sebastian’s text follows only seconds after.  
  
 **As you wish Mr. Evans. See you tomorrow for that assignment.**  
  
Now Chris is impatient, for tomorrow to come so he can spend some time alone with Sebastian.

* * * *

Saturday, right after noon, Sebastian knocks on his door.

They both stand in the doorway, grinning at each other for a moment.

“Get in here,” Chris finally says. He pulls Sebastian into his arms, closing the door behind him.

“Ow, watch it!” Sebastian exclaims.

Chris drops his arms, stepping back. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Sebastian shakes his head. “No, it’s fine, I promise. You didn’t hurt me.” His smile curls the corners of his mouth upwards and Chris wants nothing more than to kiss him. Gently, because the last thing he wants to do is cause Sebastian any more pain.

“So, where’s your homework. What do you need help on?”

Sebastian’s smile gets wider and he looks at the floor, “I may have, hm, lied a little.”  
  
“What do you mean _lied_?” Chris frowns, not following everything.  
  
“I did the assignment already. I just wanted to spend time with you.” Sebastian pouts.  
  
Chris laughs and shakes his head, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “You’re impossible, you know that?”  
  
“You’re not happy to spend time with me? Alone?” Sebastian moves closer, still pouting, still staring, almost touching him. Seeing Chris isn’t saying anything or moving, he slowly stand on his tiptoes to press his lips against Chris’.

His natural response to Sebastian kissing him would be to pull him close, wrap his arms around him. The kiss is soft at first, almost hesitant. He can feel the still healing cut on Sebastian’s lip. They stand there like that, lips just pressed together for a moment until Sebastian moves. He brings his arms around Chris’ waist and presses himself close. “Chris,” he says quietly, their lips still close.

“I should be mad, but you know, I’m not,” he whispers. Then Chris kisses him back, really kisses him, but still gently. Sebastian parts his lips, letting Chris’ tongue sweep into his mouth. Bringing his hands up slowly, he rests them on Sebastian’s shoulders.

When they break apart this time, Sebastian is smiling again, tightening his arms around Chris. “I missed you, missed this,” he says.

“I know. I know you did. I did too,” Chris tells him. Placing a hand on Sebastian’s head, stroking his hair he says, “You need time to heal though, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t hug me you know, I’m not gonna break.” He scoffs, but all Chris can see is his hurting lip. He focuses on Sebastian’s wounded lip for a few seconds and it’s probably too long for Sebastian, because he loses his smile. “Please, I want you to hug me.” He adds softly, looking at him with those puppy eyes.  
  
There’s something in his tone that Chris can’t resist, it’s a request he can’t resist either. After everything that happened a hug is definitely the least Chris can do to comfort him. So he brings him closer, his hand still in his hair, he presses him against his shoulder and his other hand moves carefully in his back, trying to not exercise too much pressure. Breathing in his hair, still stroking it, he can feel Sebastian nuzzling his face in his neck.  
  
“You’re okay ?” Chris asks after a moment, kissing Sebastian’s head, still caressing his hair, and his thumb drawing little circles in his back.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m better than okay,” Sebastian says against his neck. “Being with you helps me forget.”

Stifling a laugh, Chris pulls back so he can see Sebastian’s face. “Yeah?”

Sebastian nods, smiling again.

“I’m glad.” He plants a kiss on Sebastian’s forehead, where he can reach a bit of flesh that isn’t bruised.  

For a second he gets a glimpse of Sebastian’s cocky side. “You wouldn’t break me if we did more than kiss, you know.”

Normally Chris would be quick to agree, but he knows Sebastian is still sore, still hurting. “Hey, I hugged you too,” he says, trying to make a joke.

“I want more than a hug, Chris.”

“Seba—” he sighs, stopping himself. “Let me make it clear, there’s nothing I want more than to have sex with you, believe me, but that’s not happening, not until you’ve healed.”  
  
“I am.” Sebastian smirks.  
  
Chris laughs again, that kid will kill him one day. “No you’re not.” He presses his lips against his and when Sebastian opens his lips to deepen the kiss, Chris whispers, “It’s not happening.” And smiles before walking toward the kitchen.  
  
Sebastian stays like that, mouth open for a second, before following Chris  with his eyes. Finally closing his mouth, he’s confused for another moment and Chris is amused by his reaction. Sebastian frowns, takes a deep breath, ready to say something but finally doesn’t.

Failing to take into account how determined Sebastian can be, Chris moves into the kitchen, ducking his head into the fridge. “Hey, do you want anything to eat? Since you don’t seem to have any homework for me to help you with.”

Sebastian appears beside him, nearly making Chris hit his head on the refrigerator shelf. “Do you have any apples?” he asks innocently.

Chris laughs, he should have expected it.  “Actually I do,” he says, holding up a shiny, red apple. “Would you like me to cut it up for you? It might make it easier, with your lip.”

Sebastian shakes his head, plucking the apple from Chris’ hand. “No thanks. I told you, my lip, like the rest of me, is fine.”

Tossing the apple up and catching it, Sebastian walks towards the living room. Chris waits, deciding against an apple of his own before following him.

When he enters the living room he finds Sebastian sprawled out on the couch. He’s already taken a bite out of the apple and doesn’t stop sucking at the spot he’s bitten when he sees Chris joining him.

When Chris sits on the couch next to him Sebastian changes positions, moving closer to him. Still not leaving his apple he lifts Chris’ arm and moves under it, resting his head and arm on Chris’ chest.  
  
He tries innocently to slide his fingers across Chris’ chest to find his nipple. His thumb strokes it a little before Chris’ hand stops him.

“What are you trying to do?” Chris sighs, but smiles. It’s going to be a long afternoon if Sebastian keeps doing things like this. He won’t be able to resist Sebastian for too long, but he needs to.  
  
“Nothing,” Sebastian whispers, straightening himself to bury his face in Chris neck.  
  
Chris doesn’t reply anything and starts caressing Sebastian’s arm softly, he hears him biting in his apple again and feel his chin hitting his collarbone when Sebastian chew it. Seconds after, he feels wet lips on his neck, kissing him passionately.

He gasps a little, unable to help himself. Sebastian’s mouth against his skin feels good, too good. That tiny gasp only encourages Sebastian. He moves his mouth against Chris’ neck more, kissing and licking. He lets it go on longer than he should before he finally says something. “Sebastian, please—”

“Please what Chris?” he asks, not letting Chris finish. Sebastian moves, sitting up straighter so his face is even with Chris’. “Please kiss me again.” It’s almost a whisper, and he’s not wearing any kind of cocky smile this time.

It’s not a question, more of a statement but Chris feels compelled. He brings his lips against Sebastian’s, tasting the sweet juice of the apple on his mouth. Trying to keep the kiss short and soft he pulls his head back, but Sebastian moves with him. Won’t let him break the kiss.

Still clutching the forgotten apple, Sebastian moves, pushing himself up into Chris’ lap, Sebastian’s legs wrapping his thighs, his hands falling on his chest, and Chris needs to breathe.

“Don’t do that,” Chris whispers next to his lips, pressing his forehead against Sebastian’s, eyes closed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”  
  
“You won’t hurt me,” Sebastian answers before pressing his lips against Chris’ again, opening his mouth two or three times before Chris capitulates and opens his too.  
  
Chris inhales deeply when Sebastian’s tongue meets his and he brings him closer, gently, he doesn’t have to exercise too much pressure because Sebastian moves by himself. Chris tries his best to contain himself, not kissing him the way he would normally and Sebastian must notice because he breaks the kiss.  
  
“You won’t hurt me,” he repeats before kissing Chris’ lips, slipping a kiss on his cheek and moving to his neck again.

Knowing Sebastian won’t give up, Chris decides he might as well give in and enjoy it. “One condition,” he says as Sebastian continues to kiss his neck.

Sebastian stops kissing him. “What?” he asks breathlessly.

“If something hurts you, you tell me right away.”

Sebastian nods, swallowing. “I will, I promise.” He attaches his lips to Chris neck again, sucking and licking.

“Sebastian,” Chris groans. “If we’re going to do this, let’s do it right.”

Scooping Sebastian into his arms, Chris pushes himself to his feet, causing Sebastian to drop the apple on the couch.  “We’re going to the bedroom.” He staggers a bit, unaccustomed to carrying Sebastian’s weight, but he doesn’t have far to carry him.

“Chris, I can walk,” Sebastian protests, tightening his arms around Chris’ neck. “My legs aren’t broken.”

Laying him onto the bed carefully, Chris laughs. “I know, but I want to be gentle with you.”

Sebastian smiles at him, a genuine, thankful smile but it turns quickly into a wider and cocky one. “Then maybe you can... undress me?”  
  
Chris rolls his eyes and licks his lower lip, his tongue darting out quickly, looking at Sebastian lying on his bed. “I guess I can do that.”   
  
Chris starts to take off Sebastian’s shoes, tossing them somewhere near the bed, taking off the socks too. He then gets on the bed, lying next to Sebastian, meeting his eyes, leaning on one arm while his other hand his undoing Sebastian’s belt, then his button and finally unzipping his jean.  
  
Sebastian lifts his hips and Chris straightens himself, almost sitting on the bed, he slides Sebastian’s jean along his legs, letting them fall to the floor. There are bruises on his legs but nothing too ugly. He comes back to Sebastian’s level and he kisses his cheek and his jaw, allowing one of his hand to move softly over his stomach, under his shirt. Chris grabs the bottom of the shirt and pulls it higher, still looking at Sebastian’s face, when he reaches his armpits Sebastian adjusts himself a little so Chris can take the shirt off completely. Putting the t-shirt aside, that’s when Chris looks at Sebastian’s torso. He’s horrified.

“ _Jesus_ , kid,” he breaths out. The shock on Chris’ face must be all too clear, because Sebastian immediately becomes defensive.

“I’m fine, I told you. They looked way worse a few days ago.” Sebastian pushes himself up on his elbows, reaching for Chris’ shirt.

Chris wants to believe him, but he’s seen his share of bruises before and these look bad, even with as much time has passed since Sebastian’s fight. He’s almost numb, barely noticing when Sebastian sits up and yanks his  shirt up and over his head.

His trance is broken when Sebastian tugs him back down onto the bed so they’re laying side by side.

“Sebastian, god I don’t even know if I can be gentle enough not to hurt you with as bad as these bruises look.” He’s afraid to touch him now, afraid he’s already hurt him without knowing it.

“I told you, if you hurt me I’ll let you know,” Sebastian says quietly. He reaches out and takes Chris’ hand in his, guiding it towards his chest. “Please, I need you to touch me.”

“Baby it’s…” Chris isn’t sure he wants to do it, he’s not sure he wants to do anything anymore. He breathes deeply. “That looks _really_ bad.” But his hand is on Sebastian’s and he’s touching him, with the tips of his fingers. He can’t stop staring and finally his fingers starts wandering on him, tracing the contours of his multicolor bruises. He can feel Sebastian’s eyes on him, scrutinizing his face, his reaction but he can’t raise his eyes off his body. He leans on Sebastian, drops his lips softly on a bruise next to his pectoral muscle.   
  
“Does it hurt?” he whispers, looking up to him, fearing to injure Sebastian even more than he already is.  
  
Sebastian shakes his head softly “No,” he mouths.  
  
He said he will tell him if it hurts so Chris wants to believe him, even if he’s not completely convinced. He moves up on top of him, surrounding Sebastian’s legs with his, avoiding putting any weight on him and kisses other wounded spots.

He concentrates on kissing all of those spots, the places where Sebastian’s smooth skin is bruised and flawed. Keeps his lips moving, gently kissing across Sebastian’s chest and torso.

Sebastian gasps and Chris stiffens, sure he’s hurt him somehow. He stops, looking up towards Sebastian’s face. He swallows. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says. “More than okay.”

Chris watches him for a moment before returning to kiss across his bruises again. He uses his lips and his tongue, running back and forth, up and down Sebastian’s skin. It isn’t long before Sebastian is gasping again, writhing under Chris.

Moving a hand up to find Sebastian’s, he laces their fingers together, keeping his mouth against Sebastian’s skin. “You sure you want this?” he asks him softly, letting his breath ghost across Sebastian’s bruised chest.

Sebastian nods again and closes his eyes. Chris can’t decides himself, part of him wants to please Sebastian and take care of him, be gentle, but the other part is screaming that it’s a stupid idea and he’ll only hurt him more.  
  
“You promise to tell me even if the pain is tolerable?”  
  
Sebastian opens his eyes and looks back at him “Promise,” he answers.  
  
Chris puts his lips on Sebastian’s body again, moving lower, kissing his ribs, his hips, shifting to his stomach where one of the darkest bruise is, he can’t help but touch it with his fingers, brushing it. He wasn’t thinking about the other guy before but seeing how dark this one is, his murderous intent resurfaces.

He takes a moment, trying to breathe slowly, get his anger under control. The last thing he wants to do is unintentionally hurt Sebastian because he’s thinking of murdering Sean.

Sebastian whines softly, shifting his hips under Chris and it’s hard to ignore him when he’s like this. There’s only the thin layer of Sebastian’s boxers separating Chris’ hands and mouth from Sebastian’s cock. His hard cock.

Chris lifts his head, looking past Sebastian’s bruises to his face. He’s still gorgeous, even with the healing cut on his lip. His eyes are wide and his lip is trapped between his teeth.

“Chris,” he pants.

Keeping his eyes locked on Sebastian’s, Chris moves his hand down, sliding his palm against the bulge in his boxers.

Sebastian nods, his eyes fluttering closed, hips lifting off the bed as Chris slides the boxers off his hips.

Dropping them beside the bed Chris moves back on top of Sebastian, he’s on his hands and knees, his face above Sebastian’s.  
  
“Still sure that’s what you want?”  
  
He’d rather ask a billion time to be sure, even if after a billion time he still wouldn’t be truly convinced, than to do something wrong.  
  
Sebastian lift his head a little, and Chris lower his to meet Sebastian’s lips, inciting him to rest his head back on the mattress. He feels Sebastian’s hand in his hair and he pulls back to let Sebastian answer.  
  
“I’m sure Chris.” Sebastian’s hand falls on Chris’ cheek, brushing his beard and bringing him closer to share another kiss.

The kiss lasts for minutes, both of them drawing it out, drawing out soft sounds of pleasure from each other. Chris thinks he’d almost be happy just to kiss Sebastian all afternoon.

Sebastian still has other ideas though, other plans. Not breaking the kiss, he fumbles with the button on Chris’ jeans, whining against Chris’ mouth in frustration when he can’t get them open.

Chris pulls back, trying not to laugh. “Need a hand?”

Sebastian pouts at him playfully. “A hand’s not all I need, but yes, if you’d help me out here that would be great.”

Chris slides off the bed, easily popping open his button and sliding down the zipper. Pushing his jeans, and boxers along with them, down his hips and over his legs before kicking them off.

It doesn’t take him more than a few seconds and then he’s back on the bed, back on top of Sebastian. He opens his mouth to start to speak but Sebastian stops him.

“If you’re going to ask me one more time if I’m sure, the answer is still yes.”

Smiling down at Sebastian he shakes his head softly. “Not what I was going to ask. I was going to ask you what you wanted me to do next,” he says before leaning in to kiss Sebastian again.

“Do what you want to do,” he whispers into Chris’ mouth. Chris breaks the kiss and looks down at him. “What?” Sebastian asks, but Chris raises an eyebrow “What?” he asks again, waiting for an answer.  
  
“I asked you what _you_ wanted me to do.” Chris means to say that as a joke, some kind of teasing and because he really wants to do what Sebastian wants, but Sebastian’s eyes grows dark and there’s a shadow of sadness that appears.  
  
“I just want you, I need to feel you Chris…” he whispers, still looking at him but not directly in the eyes. Suddenly he doesn’t seem so proud and cocky, and Chris can only guess what happened didn’t only hurt him from outside, Sebastian felt really bad after what happened with _Sean_ , but he’s ready to bet his words are still running in his head.  
  
“Okay” Chris murmurs before inviting him into a new kiss, one of his hands stroking his hair.

Breaking the kiss, Chris murmurs against Sebastian’s mouth, “I won’t make you ask. You don’t have to tell me. I just like knowing what makes you happy.” He wants to say more, but doesn’t, he isn’t going to ruin this.

Sebastian doesn’t respond, but he looks at Chris again, their eyes meeting. Chris leans down, slotting their lips together again, kissing Sebastian with a new purpose. He kisses his lips, moving his mouth across Sebastian’s chin and jaw. Below his ear, across his neck, down over his chest and torso, across the colorful bruises once more.

He doesn’t stop this time, there’s no clothing in the way, nothing to slow him down. Chris moves down the bed, down Sebastian’s body, kissing his way every inch of skin as he goes.

He hears Sebastian inhales deeply when he moves close to his hard-on, and again when he presses his lips on the tip. Chris moves his lips on it, not taking it in his mouth, teasing him with his tongue, making sure to wet as much as possible.  
  
Sebastian’s hand moves from the bed to his chest and then to his thigh, he wants to touch Chris but he doesn’t, just let his hand lay here.  
  
He moans when Chris takes his cock in his mouth after licking from the tip to the base and from the base to the tip. That’s when his hand finds Chris’ arm.

The feel of Sebastian’s fingers digging into his arm spurs Chris on and he slides his mouth up and down Sebastian’s length. Leaving the arm Sebastian is grasping in place, Chris moves his other hand, splaying his fingers across Sebastian’s hip, caressing him there.

He’s trying to go slow, and he keeps his hand moving in calm circles, fingers tracing from Sebastian’s hip to his thigh and back again. But the small jerks of Sebastian’s hips are enough to push his cock to the back of Chris’ throat and he moans, moving his mouth faster.

“Chris...” Sebastian tries to whisper but it’s not loud enough “Chris...” he tries again and Chris raises his eyes to look up to him, slowing down but not stopping his rhythm. “It’s you I want, please..”  
  
And again Chris is torn, he can’t say he doesn’t want it either, his own erection is as hard as a rock but that’s taking more risks and he doesn’t want to ruin everything by stupidly hurting Sebastian. Still sucking him, Sebastian gets more impatient. He’s probably taking too much time to think because he hears him whispering, a little harder this time ‘’I want you in me, please, I need to feel you Chris.”

Tearing his mouth away from Sebastian’s cock, Chris rises up, hovering over him on hands and knees. “God Sebastian, I want you so much.” He kisses him then, the kiss wet and sloppy, but Sebastian doesn’t mind. Doesn’t seem to care or notice, only kisses Chris back, forcefully, hands grasping at both of Chris’ forearms now.

Pulling back to end the kiss, Chris looks down at Sebastian. Both of them are panting, and Sebastian looks at him with those needy eyes. He’d told him he wouldn’t make him ask, but he needs to know, doesn’t want to hurt him.

“I want you,” he tells him. “I want to be inside of you, but you have to tell me how you want me, because I can only be so careful.”

Sebastian laugh quietly “I don’t think there’s anything that wouldn’t hurt, at least a little.”  
  
Chris sighs, he doesn’t particularly like that answer, even if he knew it already, he didn’t want to hear it, but he asked Sebastian to be honest and he is. “I… I may have an idea,” he says, looking at Sebastian. “Does it hurt when you’re on your side?” He doesn’t want his weight on Sebastian, but he doesn’t have a super-strength either, and seeing Sebastian wincing in pain while they have sex isn’t even an option that doesn’t leave them with a lot of possible positions.    
  
“I guess it’s bearable, and not the worst position...”  
  
“Then lay on your side,” Chris says, kissing him and moving to reach the nightstand.

Sebastian rolls onto his side as Chris finds what he needs in the nightstand drawer. He presses against Sebastian from behind, both of them lying on their sides.

They’re already both ready, both wanting, but he takes the time to kiss the back of Sebastian’s neck, moving his lips down his spine, covering his back in kisses.

Sebastian whimpers, his body trembling.

“Still alright?” Chris asks, popping the cap open on the bottle lube.

“ _Yes_.” Sebastian draws out the word. “These are good noises, Chris.”

The way he says it sends a shiver down through Chris’ body, heat pooling low in his belly.

Coating his fingers in the slick lube, he glides a hand down Sebastian’s lower back, between the round cheeks of his ass, fingers finding and circling his hole.

He feels Sebastian moving back, pressing against his body a little more.   
  
“Chris,” he murmurs almost inaudibly, if he wasn’t this close to Sebastian he wouldn’t have heard it. He kisses his neck and his shoulder while sliding gradually a finger in him, taking his time. He _knows_ Sebastian doesn’t want him to ask but he can’t not do it, can’t help himself. “Still okay?” he breathes next to his ear. He starts to think that’s him who needs to be reassured and not Sebastian so much.  
  
“Hm hm.” Sebastian doesn’t use real words, just gives him an acquiescence.

He’s takes as much time, gives Sebastian as much preparation as he can. Sebastian is moving against his fingers now, still small movements, but more urgent.

When he moves his fingers, Sebastian whines at the loss. “Chris,” he says. It’s all he says, but he says volumes with that one word.

Reaching for the lube again, Chris slicks himself up and repositions himself behind Sebastian. With one hand he lines up his cock, while the other strokes Sebastian’s shoulder reassuringly.

He moves slowly, pushing into Sebastian, letting him get used to him, used to the position. He doesn’t move until Sebastian tells him to.

His hand shifts from Sebastian’s shoulder to his thigh, avoiding the bruises on his rib cage, stroking his side gently as he pushes inside a little deeper. He kisses his neck, his shoulder, behind his ear. He wants to ask again, needs to ask again, even if he knows Sebastian won’t like it, he wants to be sure.  
  
“Baby—”  
  
“Chris,” he reprimands. “I’m fine, I swear.” Sebastian starts moving against him, asking him to talk less and move more. Chris hides a small smile against Sebastian’s neck.

Chris moves then, wondering if it’s as torturous to go this slow for Sebastian as it is for him. Remembering how worked up Sebastian already was. How much he wanted this.

Finding a slow, steady rhythm doesn’t take long. He’s concentrating on going slowly, on only giving Sebastian pleasure and not hurting him.

He’s still stroking Sebastian’s side, fingers gently tracing from ribcage to hip when Sebastian reaches for his hand. “Chris,” he says again.

Only this time he’s not reprimanding, he’s asking. Sebastian takes Chris’ hand in his and guides it down, wrapping Chris’ fingers around his cock. Chris smiles, his face against Sebastian’s neck as Sebastian moves his hand, stroking up and down.

He lets Sebastian move, lets him choose his own cadence but he keeps sinking into him. He feels him tensing and those are goose bumps he sees on Sebastian’s arm when he bites his earlobe softly.  
  
It’s too slow for Chris, but he doesn’t move faster or harder, it’s a sweet torment he can go through. It helps when he hears Sebastian moans a little more loudly than before, it’s his turn to have chills down his spine.

It’s different from the other times they’ve had sex, slower, more tender than even their first time together. He can’t shake the feeling of Sebastian being breakable, the bruises littering his torso are proof of that. But that doesn’t stop him from wanting Sebastian. Apparently didn’t stop Sebastian from wanting to be fucked either.

Chris adds his own movements to Sebastian’s now, both of them moving in unison. He wants to make Sebastian come, make him come first, but those small moans and gasps Sebastian makes every time he arches back into Chris will be his undoing.

“Sebastian, baby,” he whispers, his lips against Sebastian’s ear. “I’m so close, so close.”

“Yes, Chris…” Sebastian trails off, his body pliant and responsive against Chris.

“Want you to come with me,” Chris tells him, hoping he can hold out long enough.

Sebastian inhales abruptly hearing him, blocking his breathing and exhales in a seductive moan. Chris’ hand is still stroking his cock, and Sebastian’s hand doesn’t leave his, making both of them move faster now.  
  
The way Sebastian’s body moves with his, the noises he makes, all of that makes him moves faster in him. Trying the best he can to not thrust harder, he buries his dick deeper and deeper, moving in and out. His mouth opening wider every time against Sebastian’s neck. It’s not slow anymore but it’s still soft and it stays a pure torture. He’s so close, and it’s so slow, he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer.  
  
“Baby,” Chris breathes intentionally, groaning behind Sebastian’s ear.

That’s all it takes, Sebastian shudders against him and they both come together, him inside Sebastian and Sebastian all over their hands. The slow, sweet torture, all the buildup almost makes Chris cry when his orgasm washes over him.

Still mindful of hurting Sebastian, he draws his arms around him, trying to hold him more closely. They’re already as close as they can get, but he needs to feel Sebastian in his arms, let Sebastian feel him.

“I love you,” he whispers, mouth against Sebastian’s neck. “I love you, Sebastian.”

“Love you,” Sebastian murmurs softly, he looks at out of breath or at least not completely aware.  
  
Chris takes a minute to just hold Sebastian, doesn’t say anything more, just holds him quietly and looks at him. Looks at his injured body, and he wants to kiss every bruise again, he doesn’t move though. Doesn’t make any remark, but even if his mind is occupied with other sweet thoughts for a moment, he swallows hard when he thinks about what happened again. Who made that happened.   
  
It’s a tender moment but he’s ruining it.

Unable to help himself, remembering the night Sebastian waited for him on his stairs, Chris finds himself asking again, “You okay?”

There’s a moment of silence from Sebastian, he’s still not completely recovered. Then he answers, slowly and softly. “I’m _more_ than okay, thank you.”

Kissing his temple, Chris smiles. “That’s good to know. That isn’t what I meant though. I didn’t hurt you did I? Do you need to move?”

He’d rather stay here, with Sebastian wrapped in his arms for the rest of the afternoon, but that’s probably not going to happen even without Sebastian being sore.

“What time is it?” Sebastian asks. Chris remembers he didn’t even know how much time Sebastian had to accord him, he didn’t ask him.  
  
“Later than I thought,” he answer, turning his head back to glance at the alarm clock.  
  
“I don’t want to move, I don’t want to go..” Sebastian whispers, “And no you didn’t hurt me,” he adds pressing his body against Chris’ a little more.

“I don’t want you to go either, you know that, but—”

“I could stay. You could let me stay,” Sebastian says, determination in his voice again.

Sighing softly, then holding his breath, Chris waits as Sebastian moves, rolling over in his arms so they’re now face to face.

“You’d let me stay, wouldn’t you?” Sebastian asks, turning to him with that sad pout and wide eyed look that Chris knows so well.

“I… I would, you know if we could I’d have you here, with me, all the time.” His words bring a smile to Sebastian’s face. “But your mom is expecting you back, isn’t she?” Chris still doesn’t know how Sebastian got away with spending the night with him before, still has no idea what Sebastian’s mother knows or thinks about him, about them.

“Eh. My mother,” Sebastian waves a hand dismissively. “I can just call her and make an excuse.”

Chris raises his eyebrows, frowning slightly. “What kind of excuse could you possibly give her?”

Sebastian smirks. “Do you promise I can stay, if I talk to her and she doesn’t care that I don’t come home tonight?”

He knows better, he really should say no, shouldn’t encourage Sebastian to sneak around and lie to his mother. But he wants him, god he wants him to stay. Wants to have Sebastian curled up in his bed tonight, so he can keep him safe, know that he’s alright. “Yes,” he says softly, slowly. “Yes, you can stay _if_ you talk to your mother so she knows you’re not coming home tonight.” He notices that neither one of them have said ‘if she knows you’re with me tonight.’ He doubts that’s what Sebastian will tell her anyway.

“Can you get my phone, out of my pocket,” Sebastian asks him.

Chris takes a deep breath and moves to the edge of the bed, bending to catch Sebastian’s jean and take his phone out of the pocket. He crawls back next to Sebastian, and hand him his phone with a curious expression across his face.  
  
“Call her hm, not a text,” Chris warns him when Sebastian takes the phone in his hand.  
  
“Yes, _Mr. Evans_ ,” Sebastian says, straightening himself with some difficulty and a wince of pain that Chris doesn’t like. He lays back on the mattress, looking at Sebastian’s back while he brings the phone to his ear, his hand reaching his back, brushing it softly with the tip of his fingers  
  
“Hey, hi Mom! Yeah, yeah. Hm, listen I— Yes that’s what I wanted to tell you.  Yes I’m gonna stay at Chace’s tonight.-” Chris doesn’t know what excuse he was expecting but surely not that one, he can’t help the small smile that grow on his lips.   
  
He wonders why he never thought of Chace as an excuse Sebastian could use, because he certainly noticed the two of them have become really good friends and Sebastian mentions him often. That’s a good thing in Chris’ opinion, that Sebastian has other people around him, people his own age, and Chace seems to like a nice guy and a good friend to him. Even after that incident weeks and weeks ago Chris knows he has nothing to worry about now. So he’s happy to see Sebastian having someone supportive around him besides him and his mother.  
  
He still wonders what he told his mother about the first weekend though, if he used Chace as an explanation for that too. He’s ninety-nine percent sure Chace doesn’t know anything about them two, he trusts Sebastian to keep their secret but that doesn’t stop him from questioning whether or not Chace is aware or not Sebastian is using him as a pretext.  
  
“Yes. I talked to you about that big assignment.  Yes, I know,  alright,  I will I swear.  Right I’ll tell him, thank you, Yes, I love you too Mom. Bye” Sebastian hangs up and turns his face to see Chris raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Chace, hm?”

Sebastian shrugs. “It’s something my mom will believe. She knows I study with Chace sometimes.”

Chris nods. “Do you need to let Chace know you used him as an excuse?” He doesn’t want to ask what Sebastian might tell Chace in this instance.

Shrugging again, Sebastian looks down at his phone. “I’ll send him a text,” he tells Chris. “He won’t care. He… he knows I’m seeing someone, but he has no idea I’m… no idea it’s you.”

“I didn’t think you’d tell him,” Chris says, reaching out to trail his fingers along Sebastian’s arm.

“There, text sent. I’m all yours,” Sebastian says as he falls back against the pillows.

Grinning, Chris pulls him close, still mindful of Sebastian’s injuries. “You sure you’re all right?”

“Yes,” he sighs. “For the millionth time, yes.”

Chris can tell that’s not the entire truth, but he won’t press him, won’t spoil their time together. “All mine, eh?”

Sebastian smiles at him and Chris is suddenly aware of how tired he looks.

“What do you say to staying here in bed for awhile,” he asks. “Since you don’t have to hurry home?”

“Sounds great...” Sebastian looks at him directly in the eyes, “But what do _you_ say about kissing me right now?”  
  
Smiling, and still careful, Chris grabs Sebastian’s face in his hand to do what he asked. Pressing his lips against his, feeling the crust of his injury, spreading his lips to let Sebastian’s tongue invade his space. His thumb rubbing his cheekbone.   
  
“Tired?” Chris finally demands, pulling his lips away, watching him.   
  
“A little,” Sebastian exhales, “I haven’t slept well lately, or much.”  
  
“D’you wanna sleep now?” Chris asks as he kisses his temple.  
  
Sebastian shakes his head “I can sleep later, I just want to spend time with you for now.”  
  
Chris smiles at the idea of having Sebastian asleep in his arms, it’s only happened once before. He likes to take care of Sebastian too, especially seeing him in such a bad shape, so he asks, “Hungry?”

Sebastian sits up straighter. “You know, I _had_ an apple earlier…” Turning to look at Chris he fixes a him with a look of mock indignation.

Laughing, Chris slides out of bed. “C’mon. I doubt that apple’s any good anymore, but we’ll find something else to eat, hmm?”

“As long as it’s not salad,” Sebastian laughs, wincing as he gets up.

Biting his tongue, not wanting to ask if Sebastian is alright _again_ , Chris finds his boxers and slips them on, followed by his jeans.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Sebastian pulls his own boxers and jeans on, watching Chris intently.

“What?” he finally asks, nearly blushing under Sebastian’s gaze.

“Just looking at your tattoos,” Sebastian says with a grin. “I remember how surprised I was when I first saw them.”

Chris remembers too, the time Sebastian showed up at his house unannounced and caught him without a shirt.

“Sometimes I forget you have them,” Sebastian continues. “And then I see you like this and I’m reminded how hot you are all over again.”

Chris does blush now, but he laughs too. “Well,” he says trying to be serious. “You’re not bad looking yourself kid.”

Picking up a pillow from the bed, Sebastian chucks it at him, laughing as Chris ducks and dodges it.

“Are you coming? Or do you want to throw some more pillows,” Chris asks, walking out of the bedroom.

Sebastian follows, both of them still laughing. They find Sebastian’s forgotten apple on the couch, now brown and starting to get mushy.

“See, I _was_ eating that,” Sebastian says, picking up the apple to throw it away.

“Sorry. But if I remember correctly, you were the one who started kissing me.”

“Yeah and you were the one saying,” Sebastian changes his tone trying to imitate Chris, badly, “Not until you’ve healed, it’s not happening.”

At which Chris laugh because that’s a really bad imitation of himself and he’s pretty sure his voice is not that low and because he did say that.

“Don’t blame it on me _Mr. Evans,_ you wanted it as much as I did.”  
  
“Alright, okay.” Chris keeps laughing, biting his lower lip. ”I’m as guilty as you on this.”  
  
“ _On this_ ,” Sebastian scoffs “On this? What are you, a goldfish with a five second memory?”  
  
“Hey!” Chris tries to protest.  
  
“Do you really need me to remind you all of the times you were as guilty as I was, maybe even more?”  
  
“Yes please, let me hear that.” Chris cross his arms on his chest, smiling, convinced Sebastian will have difficulty to find moments to add at his list.  
  
“You didn’t really push me away when I first kissed you and you didn’t really say no to what happened next either.” Sebastian smirks, and Chris chuckles, remembering their first tutoring session. “Didn’t say no to kissing me days later too in exchange for a good answer to your stupid math work, and you didn’t look like you thought twice about blowing me on your table and dragging me to your bed,” he says looking at the said table. “Should I go on?” he asks without letting Chris answer, grinning, proud of himself “Because I’m thinking about you jerking me off in your classroom not that long ago, kissing me there too, a _few times_.” Sebastian starts laughing “And that’s without all the moments _you_ teased me in class, the apple being the more relevant example of that… And the list isn’t even complete, so tell me _Mr. Evans_ , this time, really ?”

“Alright, alright!” Chris has to laugh, it’s so true. Everything Sebastian has listed, it’s all been because every time he set limits, makes rules or boundaries, it’s been his fault they don’t stick to them. But only because he can’t ever say no to Sebastian. He made rules for them, but it looks like he was the one breaking them every time. He never realized it. Sebastian does make him lose his mind.

Snagging Sebastian’s belt loop and pulling him closer, he kisses him, a quick play of lips on lips. “You know, I could say all of those things, all of the times I couldn’t follow my own rules, were your fault.”

“My fault,” Sebastian scoffs. “How do you figure that?”

“It’s always been you, Sebastian,” he says softly. “It’s only that I can’t say no to you.” He smiles then, bringing an arm around Sebastian’s back, his hand rubbing circles over the bare skin there.

Sebastian lays his head on Chris’ shoulder, he doesn’t answer,  and they stand there, just soaking in the silence, standing in Chris kitchen.

“So, what are you making me to eat,” Sebastian finally asks. “I’m starving.”

“What about a salad ?” Chris laughs, but it stays strangled in his throat when Sebastian punches him a little in the stomach. “Ouch, what was that for?” He tries, innocently.  
  
“You know what it was for. I’m traumatized by salads, do not ever even say that word to me again.”  
  
“Well I’m not making junk food either. Don’t look at me like that.” Chris says when Sebastian pouts, using his damn puppy eyes again. “See?” he keeps talking. “See that’s why I keep breaking my rules, that puppy look you’re giving me right now—” Chris eyes widens and he opens his mouth as wide as his eyes, laughing. “Oh my god, that’s why you’re giving me that look all the time! You _know_ I just can’t say no to that!”  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sebastian keeps pouting, grasping Chris’ hand and strolls him around the kitchen to reach the fridge.

Chris opens the fridge with Sebastian hovering over his shoulder.

“No salads,” Sebastian says again firmly.

“What pasta? I have some stuff here, we can maybe make some sauce?”

“Ugh, with vegetables? Sebastian asks faking disgust.

“Yes,” Chris decides. “Pasta, with broccoli and a cheese sauce. Not too healthy, but not too awful either. A compromise.”

“Fine,” Sebastian sighs, but Chris knows he’s not actually disappointed.

Chris gathers the ingredients out of the fridge, loading up his arms. Placing them on the counter, he directs Sebastian to find a pot to make the pasta in.

“Are you going to teach me how to make this too?” Sebastian asks.

Chris smiles, remembering the last time they cooked together. “Would you like that?”

“Yeah, I think I would,” Sebastian answers. He finds the pot and places it on the stove, looking to Chris for his next instructions.

Chris stares at him for a long seconds “You’re gonna pour water in it, right?” Maybe Sebastian’s cooking skills are worse than he thought.  
  
“Oh yeah, sorry I was distracted,” Sebastian says, shaking his head and moving to the sink.  
  
“By what?” he asks, sorting out the ingredients.  
  
“You,” he hears Sebastian answer as he looks up at him. “Well your tattoos, you should never wear a shirt, I love seeing them.”  
  
“Yeah?” Chris smiles tenderly.

“Absolutely,” Sebastian says, coming closer to trace his fingers over the tattoo on Chris’ chest.

“Well, unfortunately my job kinda requires me to wear shirts.”

“That’s a damn shame,” Sebastian says, fingers still on Chris’ chest. “Will you tell me what they mean to you someday?”

“Mmm, well imagine how much worse it would be for you, to sit through my classes if I weren’t wearing a shirt.” He chuckles, “and sure, if you want to know I can tell you.” He places his hand over Sebastian’s, lifting it to his mouth and kissing his fingertips. “Now, back to making dinner, hm?”

“If I weren’t hungry, I’d say no.”

“C’mon, turn that burner on under the pot of water, then come over here and help me with the sauce. Once the pasta is cooked and we’ve made the sauce we’ll toss it all in a dish and put it in the oven for awhile.”

“Even the broccoli?” Sebastian asks.

“Yes, even the broccoli. It’s already cooked so we can just add it when the other stuff is ready.”

Listing the amounts of each ingredient from memory, Chris lets Sebastian mix together the sauce, before having him put it on the stovetop to simmer. By the time they’ve done that the water is boiling, ready to add the pasta.

“Just dump it in,” he instructs Sebastian.

“Okay, now what?” Sebastian asks, after adding the pasta to the pot.

“Now we set the timer and wait for the pasta to be ready. And stir that sauce occasionally,” Chris tells him.

“That’s funny, I yawn less when you’re teaching how to cook than how to do math,” Sebastian jokes.  
  
“Oh,” Chris says, faking offence. “I make you yawn? That’s funny because I don’t remember you yawing but I do remember you licking your lips.” He says, moving behind Sebastian, sliding his hands carefully around his waist, kissing his neck.  
  
“Yeah I do that too. I know you love that, too bad I can’t do it anymore, I loved distracting you.”  
  
“Yeah, I miss that too,” Chris breathes, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck. “My little distraction of the day.”  
  
Sebastian slides is his arms, turns to face him and lifts his arms to put them around Chris shoulders, locking his fingers behind his neck.   
  
“I love you Chris.” He says, without any artifice, without a grin, just looking him straight in the eyes.  
  
Chris scans Sebastian’s face, his eyes, he can only understand how sincere he is right now, and it’s the first time Sebastian has said it on his own, without Chris saying it first. A soft smile grows on his face before he answers, pressing their foreheads together.“I love you.”

They stay together until the timer goes off. “Let’s throw this stuff together, so we can get it into the oven,” Chris says reluctantly.

Pulling the sauce off the burner, he instructs Sebastian to drain the pasta. Then he mixes it all, the pasta, sauce and the broccoli before putting everything into a casserole dish and placing it in the oven.

“Now what?” Sebastian asks, looking at the mess of pots and dishes they made dirty,

“Come sit with me on the couch,” Chris says after a few seconds.

“What about cleaning up?

Surveying the kitchen, Chris turns to Sebastian, smiling. “They can wait until after we eat. And dinner won’t be ready until the timer goes off.”

“’kay,” Sebastian says.

Taking his hand and leading him towards the couch, Chris notices again how tired Sebastian looks.

He sits, leaning back into the corner of the couch and Sebastian nestles between his legs, leaning his head back against Chris’ chest.

“I like this,” Sebastian says, his arms resting on Chris’ thighs.

He considers teasing him, asking just what Sebastian likes, but he doesn’t. “I do too,” he says softly.

Moments pass without a response from Sebastian. He’s fallen asleep, Chris realizes, not that he minds. Wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s he holds him close, not wanting to disturb him. It’s a peaceful way to spend the next twenty minutes until their dinner is done.  



	19. Inside His Heart Is Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! The last chapter! We're sad to see it come to an end, both of us love these versions of Chris and Sebastian so much! Thank you to everyone who has read and commented and cried with us over this story!

Somehow the school year comes to an end without any other major incidents. No fights, between himself and Sebastian or Sebastian and anyone else for that matter. Even more miraculous, Sebastian has managed to pass all of his classes. That means of course that he’ll be graduating today.

It’s just a formality really, the ceremony and being handed his diploma. But it’s such an important event, there’s no way Sebastian can skip it. Chris knows he’s nervous, about walking in front of his whole class and receiving his diploma, but to hear him tell it, Sebastian’s mother is so exited for him.

Of course Chris is excited too. He sees every day how smart Sebastian is. Not to say he isn’t stubborn and annoying and ridiculous sometimes, but he loves that about Sebastian. Chris tells him all the time how smart he is, the other things only occasionally. But even more often than telling Sebastian he’s smart, Chris tells him he’s beautiful.

As he sits there, with the rest of the teachers and faculty, on the stage, he can see the crowd of graduating seniors sitting in front of them. It’s easy to pick out Sebastian, not just because the students are sitting in alphabetical order, but because he can pick Sebastian out of a crowd, his eyes are always drawn to him.

It’s going to be a long ceremony, this year’s graduating class has over three hundred students. And with the diplomas being handed out alphabetically, Sebastian won’t be called up to the stage for quite awhile.

The class valedictorian’s speech ends and after the applause dies down, Chris notices he has a text message. He’s probably not supposed to be checking his phone during this, but he has a feeling the text is from Sebastian.

Good thing he’s kind of hidden from anyone’s eyes, well besides his direct neighbor sitting to his left, he can manage to sneak his phone out discretely.  
  
 **It’s already boring…**  
  
Chris tries to not smile, but lifts his head up to look at Sebastian grinning. He types quickly a reply.

**It just started minutes ago. Hold on would you?**

But he feels the need to send another text and wait for Sebastian’s reaction.  
  
 **Have I told you you’re beautiful?**  
  
He does tell him how beautiful he is very often. Because he is, beautiful. Stunning in Chris’ opinion. He’s not disappointed by the huge spontaneous smile that appears on Sebastian’s face. He looks even more beautiful now. He observes him trying to answer not as discretely as he does. And his phone vibrates seconds after.  
  
 **Every day. Multiple times a day. Yes**.  
  
 _Very often, yes._ Chris is pretty sure it’s not really acceptable to send texts right now, especially to one of the student in front of him but he sends another one.  
  
 **I’m proud of you.**  
  
And the smile Sebastian has this time is more discrete but also sweeter, and he looks up to see Sebastian, still wearing that cute smile. He’s far away from him but he can distinctly see the stars in his eyes, and that makes Chris smiles too. He _is_ proud of him, he really is. It’s only been months but he can already see a difference in Sebastian, he has grown up so much in such a short amount of time.

Scanning the crowd, looking at the other students, their proud families before looking to Sebastian again, Chris sees him composing another text. A few seconds later, he receives it.

**I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I know that sounds stupid…**

It’s true, they both know it. Not that he’s that amazing of a tutor. Isn’t that laughable, the things he’s taught Sebastian over the past few months definitely didn’t help him in his other classes. But he knows what Sebastian means is that because of him, because of their relationship he’s been motivated to stop screwing around in his other classes and actually get the grades needed to graduate. He texts him back.

**It’s not stupid. I might have helped, but you did this Sebastian. And now we’re here, at your graduation.**

There’s an almost immediate reply from Sebastian.

**You know what that means, once I’m officially graduated. You know what means.**

He wants to laugh at the fact Sebastian doesn’t say it clearly, just hints at it. Chris knows, he knows it too well and even if he doesn’t say it much to Sebastian, he can’t wait to be able to hold his hand, take him out, go somewhere else other than his apartment. Do what normal couples do because that’s what they are now that Sebastian is graduating. He’s no longer his teacher, well he still is for a few hours, but after that, they will no longer be a teacher dating his student, but two equals grownups seeing each other and having a normal relationship.   
  
 **I know, and believe me that makes me the happiest man alive.**  
  
He sees Sebastian looking back at him, still with his shy smile and if Chris could, he would just go hug and kiss him, but he obviously can’t and before he can’t stop him anymore he sends another text.  
  
 **C’mon, focus on the ceremony, that’s the last day you have to pretend to listen.**  
  
He should have expected Sebastian’s answer, he should have see it coming but he didn’t and he fights to not laugh.  
  
 **I always pretend I’m listening to you and I never do…. You’re too hot, I’d rather focus on you.**  
  
Chris chooses to not reply back, he knows too well how it could end up, he doesn’t want to receive dirty texts from Sebastian, not now, but he never stops looking at Sebastian. Waiting for his turn, student after student but when they reach the letter ‘P’, Chris can see Sebastian looking really bored— and so is he—dear lord he hopes he doesn’t have to do this every year because this is really boring. He sends Sebastian a text to make him laugh and entertain them both.  
  
 **Almost your turn, don’t trip on stage or I’ll disown you.**

Sebastian does laugh, he can’t hear him from where he’s sitting, but he can tell from his face, from the dirty looks the people next to him give. In a second, he has a reply from him.

**Thanks, no pressure or anything, right?**

It’s almost Sebastian’s turn, they’ve just called out a last name starting with an ‘S’. He doesn’t reply to Sebastian, doesn’t want to distract him anymore. It’s only another minute or two when he hears Mr. Wells call out the name “Sebastian Stan.”

He can’t stop the proud smile that grows on his face as Sebastian takes the steps up the stage and crosses it, pausing to shake Mr. Wells’ hand and accept the rolled up diploma he’s being handed.

Chris wants to jump to his feet and applaud, to whistle and shout. But he doesn’t. He’ll wait until the end and then clap for the entire graduating class. But inside, his heart is dancing.

Before Sebastian’s even retaken his seat, Chris sends him another text.

**You did it. Congratulations baby! I love you so much!**

It won’t take long to get through the rest of the graduating class, and then the newly graduated students and their families will pose for pictures and he, along with the other teachers will stand around feeling awkward. Occasionally some overzealous parent may come up to thank a teacher who was specifically helpful or a mentor to a student. Chris isn’t expecting any of that, but he’s still required to be there.

He isn’t expecting any of that but he sees Sebastian’s mother from afar and is she? Yeah… she’s definitely coming into his direction and Chris’ heart starts beating really fast in his ribcage, he’s having palpitations and it’s getting awfully hot in here—  
  
“Hello, Mr. Evans.”  
  
Do something, say something Chris, don’t stand there like an idiot, he thinks. Chris has still no idea what Sebastian told his mother and the last time he saw her, he made her son cry and run away hysterically. It’s not something he likes to remember.  
  
“Hm,” Chris coughs. “Hi, Mrs. Stan.” He shakes her hand. Really Chris? he thinks to himself.   
  
What is he supposed to do, where is Sebastian? Get it together Evans, you’re a grownup and you can handle a conversation, just stop sweating and staring.  
  
“May I talk to you for a minute?”  
  
Well she doesn’t seem mad, _for now_ , maybe she’s hiding it though, to not cause a scene in front of everyone. Christ, Chris would give anything to know what Sebastian told her right now. He should have asked him. God, he hopes he’s not starting to blush, please don’t stutter, that’s what his thoughts are centered on.  
  
“Yes. Sure. Absolutely.” He invites her to move off to the side. What if she asks him to leave Sebastian alone? That’s something he would be incapable of doing.

They step aside, even though there are still people everywhere, it’s as much privacy as they’re going to get.

“Mr. Evans,” she starts out, pausing to sigh, “I haven’t spoken to you since that day, at my house, when you brought Sebastian his school work, and stayed for dinner…”

Chris nods, his mouth going dry. Yes, he remembers that night all too well.

“I could have yelled, or cried, done any number of things including getting you fired, knowing what I did about your _relationship_ with Sebastian.”

“Ma’am—”

Holding up a hand, she stops him. “Let me continue, please. I didn’t because Sebastian begged me not to. He promised things were over between you.”

So, Sebastian had _lied_ to his mother, interesting, not entirely a surprise though.

“I thought he’d told me the truth, he started spending more time with his friend Chace, he seemed happy. But I began to suspect that he’d lied to me when I spoke with Chace’s mother. Sebastian had told me he was spending the night with Chace, and when I asked his mother about it, she had no idea what I was talking about.”

Chris tries again, feeling the need to defend himself, even though Sebastian’s mother is being very calm, friendly even. “Ma’am, I’m sorry if Sebastian misled you. I had no idea what he told you about…” Chris lowers his voice to a whisper, “About my relationship with him.” He can’t help but look around as he says this, still paranoid he might get into trouble. This is still a school function, even if Sebastian has graduated now.

“Well, he did, but that isn’t what I want to speak to you about. I wanted to tell you that when I found out Sebastian had lied to me, I was angry. Because he lied to me, yes, but also because I just didn’t know what to think about my son having a relationship with his teacher. But by the time I had it figured out, I couldn’t be mad. Because I can clearly see how good your influence has been on Sebastian.”

Wow. Okay, Chris clearly didn’t see that coming. Not that he minds it at all, it’s the best thing she could have said actually.  
  
“Hm.” Chris scratches his head, a little embarrassed and confused. “Well I’m glad you’re seeing it this way, and I am truly sorry about how things happened. I had really no idea what Sebastian told you and if I’m being completely honest with you, I avoided the subject because I didn’t want him to feel bad again, once was enough for me…” He swallows again remembering the heartbreaking memory of those two awful days.  
  
“I can understand that. I can tell that you care about him and I won’t deny that I appreciate it.”  
  
“I did mean what I said that night, and I still do. I know it must be hard for you to hear it but…” Chris still looks around, glancing everywhere. “I love your son, I never played with him and I always try to do my best to make him happy.”  
  
“And I thank you for that. I’m sure you understand how difficult it is for me to see my teenage son dating one of his teacher, as young as you seem, it’s not something I can accept easily, but I’m working on it. For Sebastian.”

“Ma’am, _thank you._ That’s all I can ask and hearing you say that means more to me than you can imagine.” Chris smiles at her, a genuine smile, feeling relieved. It’s such an important day, Sebastian graduating and now this.

Sebastian finally emerges from the crowds of people. He’s smiling and laughing and Chris can’t help but smile too.

* * * *

“Hey!” Sebastian calls, seeing Chris from a distance. He hurries over, stopping short when he notices his mother.

“Mom? Mr. Evans?”

Sebastian is surprised to see them talking, and completely embarrassed knowing he kind of lied to both of them. Are they going to have a long embarrassing discussion about this, because he really doesn’t want to. Not today, not ever. They don’t look mad or pissed, which is a good thing he guesses. As he moves closer he can hear his mom talking. Still praying silently they won’t have any sort of uncomfortable discussion.  
  
“I’ll leave you two alone for a moment,” his mother says. Turning to look at Sebastian she adds, “I’ll see later, okay?” Kissing him on the cheek she whispers, “I’m really proud of you sweetheart.”  
  
“Thanks, Mom,” Sebastian answers, watching at her walking away.  
  
He’s standing in front of Chris and he’s a little scared of his reaction, what they could have talked about. Obviously about him, or about them. Either way he isn’t sure it’s a good thing. But Chris just smiles widely at him.  
  
“So? It’s finally over, no more high-school, no more homework, no more annoying teachers.” He laughs, “Feeling like a grown-up yet?”  
  
“Well I’m still stuck with one annoying teacher...” Sebastian smirks.

“Hey! I’d give you detention for that, but seeing as I’m officially not your teacher anymore, I’ll have to think of some other form of punishment.” Chris grabs his hand and squeezes it, winking to let Sebastian know he’s joking.

“I could help you think of something, _Mr. Evans_.” Sebastian says, leaning in closer to Chris, wanting to kiss him.

Chris pulls back slightly, leaving Sebastian feeling disappointed. “What?” he asks.

“Sebastian, I know you’re not my student anymore, but this is still school property and I’d rather not make a scene.”

“Oh, right,” he drops his head, looking down at his shoes. He understands, he should have guessed it by himself.

“So, I was talking to your mother,” he hears Chris say.

Sebastian’s head snaps up.  _Oh,_ _oh._ He doesn’t like the way Chris says it. So, he won’t have a discussion with both of them at the same time, but separately. He can maybe handle this. Or not, depends on their reactions toward the fact he lied.  “Yeah, I figured since you were just standing here talking to her.”

“Yeah, she came to talk to me. She treated me more nicely than I probably deserved, but you did lie to both of us, she knows you never ended things with me.”

“Oh,” Sebastian says. “I only did it to protect you, you know. I couldn’t really end things with you.”  He couldn’t even if he wanted to, but he really was trying to protect Chris. He knows Chris has established rules and he broke them. He was pissed and mad and he broke them, putting Chris in an undesired position. He did yell in front of his mother that he was sleeping with one of his teachers, same teacher she nicely invited to stay for dinner. He broke the rules and he tried to fix the mess he made as much as possible.

Still holding Sebastian’s hand, Chris squeezes it again. “I know, I feel the same way.” He looks into Sebastian’s eyes and there’s something so deep and intense that Sebastian can’t look away. He’s relieved Chris isn’t mad, he couldn’t have handle Chris being mad at him, not today, not ever again.

This year has been a lot to live through. There are so many things that aren’t the same. Sebastian, Sebastian isn’t the same. He’s getting lost in his thoughts, still staring deeply in Chris’ eyes, reliving so many memories. There have been ups and downs but Chris continues to stay by his side, he never left him, not once, he came back every time Sebastian was the one leaving. However, if he could go back, he wouldn’t change a thing. He still would try to kiss his new hot teacher, still would try to tease him in class, still would react the way he did every time, because now he doesn’t doubt Chris’ feelings. He knows Chris loves him, and he loves Chris. He needed all of those moments, as painful and heartbreaking as they were, he needed them, subconsciously, to be sure Chris cared about him. And now he’s sure.  

“So, now what Mr. Evans,” Sebastian says, slowly emerging from his thoughts, their eyes still locked together.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Chris doesn’t really smile or joke, he just asks.  
  
Sebastian laughs awkwardly for a second and starts scratching his head.   _Now what._ It’s probably the right time to tell Chris, hoping he won’t hear an ‘I told you so.’ Yes, it’s probably the right time to tell him.  
  
“What? What is it?” Chris asks.  
  
“I, I … hm, I’ve been hm, ‘ya know… looking for hm, colleges,” he says rolling his eyes at the stupid smile growing on Chris’ face. “Don’t you say it!” Sebastian warns him. He doesn’t want to hear it, he already knows Chris was right, that he did make a big deal out of a little remark from him. So much of a big deal he made himself sick for a whole day, he was sure he lost Chris at that moment. He doesn’t want to hear it, because he knows he was a jerk, but he got scared.  
  
“I’m not gonna say it,” Chris says, smiling widely now. “And so?”  


“I may have found something, that could maybe interest me to do, someday...” He still wants to spend all of his time with Chris, it’s just that he’s been thinking about something he might want to try.

Chris opens his mouth, wants to reply but Sebastian doesn’t let him “We can talk about it later, right ? I just want to spend time with you for now…” They’ll have plenty of time to talk about it later. He can already hear Chris never shutting the hell up about how great college is, making himself smile at this thought.  
  
“I think there’s a lot we need to talk about.” Chris says, looking at Sebastian’s hand he’s still holding. Sebastian eyes widens, fear slowly taking over him. What is he talking about? Is it about his mom? The fact he lied? Is it something else?  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Don’t worry kid, I’m not dumping you,” Chris jokes to reassure him, and it works a little, but Sebastian still wonders what in the hell he meant by it. “Maybe I can take you home, if you want, I mean if you’re bored of all this pomp and circumstance.” Chris laughs at his own joke, chuckling to himself.

“Wait, you mean take me home or take me _home_?” Sebastian asks, trying not to get his hopes up. He’s not Chris’s student anymore but he also doesn’t want to be disappointed if Chris tells him something other than what he’s imagining.

Chris chuckles again. It’s a sound Sebastian loves to hear.  “Depends. Do you _want_ to come home with me?”

“ _Mr. Evans_ ,” he says. “I think that’s one of the stupidest questions you’ve ever asked me.”

“So that’s a ‘yes’ then?” Chris says with a grin.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. Chris looks happy, but he also look really playful today, not that Sebastian minds at all. “Hm, let me think….” But Sebastian can play too. “ _Yes_.”

 “One condition though, you have to tell your mother the truth. Make sure she’s not going to be upset. Are you sure she didn’t have anything planned for tonight? I mean, it isn’t every day your only son graduates.”

Sebastian frowns, he hasn’t thought of his mom having anything special planned for tonight. It may be selfish, because it’s his mom after all, but there is nothing that Sebastian wants more than to spend this night with Chris. “I’ll go talk to her.”

Chris squeezes his hand one last time before dropping it so Sebastian can find his mother in the crowd.

He doesn’t have to look too far, she’s chatting with Chace’s parents a few yards away. Chace is nowhere to be seen, which makes the conversation a little easier.

“Hey, mom,” he says, announcing his presence.

“Hello sweetheart! Are you ready to leave soon?” She smiles at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

“Um, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” God, this conversation would be easier if it weren’t in front of Chace’s parents. “Mr. Crawford, Mrs. Crawford, would you excuse us for a moment,” he asks, trying to be polite.

“Of course,” Chace’s father says. “We need to go find Chace anyway.”

After they’ve left, Sebastian turns to his mother. “I’m going home with Mr. Evans. With Chris,” he blurts out. “I mean, if that’s okay with you?” He doesn’t want her to say no, but if she does, well, he’ll figure something out.

His mother looks at him, looks over his shoulder to where Chris is probably standing in the distance. “I can’t  convince the two of you to come out for dinner with me? My treat?”

“Mom, does that mean what I think it does?” Like with Chris, he doesn’t want to set his hopes too high, knowing he can very easily misunderstand some things.

“Sebastian, I’m not going to tell you no. I know you, you’ll do what you want to do anyway.” She pulls him in for a hug, patting his back lightly. She does know him well, she’s not his mother for nothing. “So, do you think Mr. Evans would be interested in dinner?”

Is he dreaming this conversation? Because it sounds surreal. His _mom_ is inviting Chris, his mom wants to share a dinner with both of them. While he doesn’t think Chris would mind, _he_ doesn’t want to share Chris tonight, doesn’t want to do anything other than just be _with_ Chris. “How about tomorrow night? Can we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?” He wonders briefly if maybe Chris could cook for his mom, he really is an excellent chef. He gets him to eat vegetables without complaining after all.

Stepping back from their hug, his mother smiles. “Tomorrow night it is then. No excuses.”

“I promise. Call me with the time and place.” Turning away, in a hurry to get back to Chris, he nearly misses it when his mother calls to him.

“I love you, Sebastian. And I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks mom, love you too!” That went surprisingly easier than he thought it would.  He’s back at Chris’ side in a few seconds, still beaming.

“Well, what did she say?” Chris asks him.

“She invited us out for dinner tomorrow night,” he says, neglecting to tell Chris the offer was really for tonight.

“So she knows you’re coming home with me?”

“She does.”

Chris grins, taking Sebastian’s hand in his again. “Then let’s go.”

They starts walking away, Sebastian can see Chris is still careful not to be seen with him, but Chris’ hand doesn’t leave his anyway, until he stops walking and leaves it reluctantly. He hears Chris whispering to him.  
  
“Would you wait for me near the car? Promise it will only take a minute.” Sebastian glances to see what Chris is talking about and he notices teachers looking in their direction. Some are even _his_ teachers. He nods with a weak smile and starts walking to the parking lot.  
  
He waits only two or three minutes, leaning on the car, before seeing Chris coming back, wearing a smile.  
  
“Ready to go ?” Chris asks, but Sebastian understands it more as a rhetorical question and jumps in the car when Chris opens it. Bending to lock his seat belt he feels a hand grabbing his face and two lips pressing softly against his. He smiles when Chris pulls apart, stroking his cheek with his thumb, before he starts the car. Chris’ hand drops on Sebastian’s lap and Sebastian happily take it in his hands.  
  
“I was,” Sebastian starts looking at Chris, “I was thinking when you were with the other teachers, maybe instead of going out we can cook for my mom tomorrow? You and I?”  
  
Chris quickly glances at him before looking back at the road. “I guess we can do that, yes. I mean if your mother is okay with that, I would gladly cook for her, _with you_.”  
  
“I’m sure she’ll be okay with it, I’ll ask her. And once she tastes your cooking skills there won’t be any reason left for her to not like you.”

He feels Chris’ hand squeeze his thigh. “Speaking of cooking, what do you want to eat tonight? You pick. Even junk food, if that’s what you want,” he jokes.  
  
“I don’t know…” Sebastian whispers, thinking. He has really no idea but even if it’s a funny and tempting suggestion to make Chris eat junk food and complain all night about it, he doesn’t want to. “I’ll take a look at your fridge.”  
  
Besides small talk, they don’t speak much more during the car ride and soon they’re parking in front of Chris’ apartment. When they get out of the car Chris waits Sebastian to move near him so he can entwine their fingers together again.

Once inside Chris’ apartment, Sebastian almost feels nervous. He’s waited for so long to graduate, to be able to stay with Chris without lying to his mother, and now that it’s happened, it feels like things should be different somehow.

Chris hasn’t let go of his hand so Sebastian tugs at it, trying to get his attention. Chris turns to him, smiling broadly.

“You want to check the fridge for something to make for dinner?”

“Well, first I was hoping you’d kiss me…” he says. “As congratulations for graduating?”

Chris pulls him closer, keeping their hands together, wrapping his other arm around Sebastian’s back. “You don’t have to ask you know, I always want to kiss you.”

“Really?” Sebastian asks, grinning cockily.

Chris doesn’t answer, only pulls Sebastian closer, pressing their lips together. It’s like they’ve been waiting months for this kiss, it doesn’t take more than a second for the kiss to become intense as Chris pushes him gently against the door.  Chris’ tongue sweeps over his, and the arm on his back holds him tightly.

Chris breaks the kiss, much to Sebastian’s disappointment, leaving him leaning against the door as they stare at each other.

“So, what do you want to make to eat?” Sebastian asks after a moment. He’s not much interested in eating right now, but he knows how Chris is about cooking and eating dinner and slowly enjoying their time together.

“Hm, well… what would you say if I wanted to postpone dinner for awhile?” Chris asks him. There’s something about the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his face that intrigues Sebastian.

“What do you mean?” he asks.  
  
“I may have another idea,” Sebastian can feel the hand on his back pulling him a little closer, “You know, as a graduation gift.”  
  
Encouraged by the interested look Sebastian is giving him, Chris keeps talking. “Remember that one time I told you I would fuck you in front of a mirror if that’s what you wanted?”  
  
Sebastian swallows, yeah he sure as hell remembers that. He remembers how, when and where that conversation took place. “Yeah how could I forget that? I fucking jerked myself off in Chace’s bathroom.”  
  
He thinks Chris is about to laugh but he doesn’t, he just moves his mouth closer to whisper seductively in his ear. “You still want to try that?”   
  
He has to swallow hard, loudly. Sebastian’s never mentioned it to Chris after that whole _thing_ happened. He’s a little too proud to talk about the fact Chris made him lock himself in his friend’s bathroom by just texting him. It’s a vision that has been haunting his fantasies since then, Chris fucking him from behind, in front of a mirror.  
  
“… Are you offering?” He demands, turning his face so he can meet Chris’ eyes again. Wonders if he’s really serious or just messing with him.  
  
“I’m offering if that’s what you want.”  
  
The smile Chris gives him is enough proof that he’s completely serious. Sebastian knows that smile too well, and he also knows that when Chris is the one with a cocky smile on his lips, something _really great_ is about to happen _._  
  
They stare at each other intently for a few seconds, Sebastian swears he’s already hard, just from the proposition Chris’ murmured in his ear and now that look and smirk... He grasps the collar of Chris’ shirt, pressing their mouths together and tries to drag Chris, without tripping on the way, to the bathroom, feeling Chris’ arm still holding around his back.

When they reach the bathroom Sebastian pulls Chris close by the collar, never having let go. Pulls him to his level and kisses him. Now that they’re talking about that day at Chace’s, that promise of sex in front of the mirror, Sebastian wants to let Chris know just how turned on that makes him. Now that they’re actually going to do it instead of Sebastian just dreaming about it, it’s more exciting than he could imagine.

They kiss like that, Sebastian grasping Chris’ collar for several long moments. As excited as they both are, they’re really in no hurry.

Chris’ hands are busy, roaming over Sebastian’s shoulders, down across his chest. While Sebastian is holding Chris close, Chris is busy unbuttoning his shirt. It doesn’t take him long to have Sebastian’s shirt open and then his hands, strong and warm play across Sebastian’s chest.

Chris has him backed up against the bathroom counter, he’s nearly sitting on it and Chris is pressed between his legs. Loosening his grip on Chris’ collar, he slides his hands down to undo Chris’ shirt buttons too.

Enjoying the feeling of fingers on his bare chest once he’s unbuttoned every one of them, with a little help from Chris they toss the shirt on the floor. Not breaking the intense kiss for one second they get rid of Sebastian’s shirt too.  
  
But that’s not enough, it’s too slow for Sebastian, he wants Chris, wants him now. That vision has been driving him insane since Chris mentioned it. His fingers move on Chris’ pant, unzipping them rapidly, and since Chris doesn’t seem to hurry as much as he’d like him to, he does the same to his own pants.  
  
“God,” Sebastian breathes into Chris’ mouth. “I want you Chris,” he manages to say between two licks from Chris. “I want you now.”  
  
Chris’ lips shifts on his cheek, moving on his neck, sliding on his collarbone. Chris throws his right hand out, reaching into a drawer and all Sebastian can hear is Chris’ hand rummaging through it, trying desperately to find something.  
  
He wants to kiss him again, he wants the taste of his tongue in his mouth but he can’t help but look at what Chris is doing. When he sees him pulling out a bottle of lube, for a second all he can think and say is, “How many bottle do you have?” He’s surprised and confused at the same time that Chris always seems to have everything they need all the time, every time.   
  
“You really want me to answer that _now_?”  
  
Sebastian barely thinks about the question for a second before answering. “Forget it,” he says, reaching for Chris’ hair to bring him in for another deep and passionate kiss.

Chris lifts Sebastian away from the counter and pulls his pants from his hips, letting them fall to the ground. Sebastian doesn’t waste any time doing the same with Chris’ pants, only he makes sure to pull down Chris’ boxers too. He’s thought about this for too long, he’s not sure he has any patience left.

Of course Chris notices. Breaking the kiss, he nips across Sebastian’s jaw. “Impatient, are we?” he murmurs near Sebastian’s ear.

“ _God, o_ f course I’m impatient.” How he manages to string so many words together is beyond him. “Please,” he adds.

Thankfully Chris doesn’t make him wait. He swiftly slides down Sebastian’s boxers and they join the pile of clothing on the floor.

“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” Chris asks him as he opens the bottle of lube.

Sebastian shivers with anticipation, he knows what’s coming next. “Yeah, you could say that,” he says, smirking, trying to play it cool, but Chris has no idea how much he thought about it. He’s practically panting already and Chris has barely touched him, he’s been hard since Chris mentioned fucking him front of the mirror so yeah, you could say he’s thought about it a lot.

 “Turn around,” Chris tells him.

He’s barely turned to face the mirror when he feels one of Chris’ hands on his hip. A second later, Chris’ other hand slips between his legs, slick and searching. It doesn’t take him long to slide a finger in. It’s faster than Chris usually does things, but this time Sebastian really can’t say he minds.

Sebastian’s eyes were closed, but at the feel of Chris’ hands on him he opens them and as he looks at the mirror in front of him, a strong wave of chills invades his whole body. Taking in the look on Chris’ face as he looks down, watching his finger sliding in and out without any difficulty, the only thing he’s able to do is open his mouth.  
  
Chris’ eyes glance at the mirror at first for a second but when he notices Sebastian is looking at him, he maintains eye contact, adding a second finger to the first one. Leaning in to kiss his back, sight still set on Sebastian’s reflection.  
  
When Sebastian watches himself moaning at the movements of Chris’ fingers, his spontaneous response is to laugh. The vision is ridiculous, but it also ridiculously turns him on, and Chris smiles back at him. There’s an arrogant grin full of lust and desire that illuminates his face and all Sebastian can think is how beautiful he is.

He’s busy watching Chris, watching Chris looking at him that the third finger Chris adds takes him by surprise. Making him gasp loudly, it’s not that it hurt, it was just unexpected.

He sees his mouth fall open in surprise in the mirror and a look of concern flicker of Chris’ face.

“Before you ask,” he somehow manages to say, “I’m fine.”

Still pumping the three fingers in and out, Chris grins at him, that wicked look making Sebastian’s cock twitch.

“Just fine?” Chris asks. “I’ll have to do better then.”

Sebastian won’t argue with him, even though he’s already doing amazing things, he can do so much better.

Chris presses close, his chest warm against Sebastian’s back. In the mirror, Sebastian watches Chris press kisses along his shoulders, working upward to his neck. Chris’s tongue flicks out over Sebastian’s earlobe and he buck back against Chris hand, sending those three fingers even deeper.

“Are you ready to watch me fucking you?” Chris’ voice rumbles against his skin and it’s all Sebastian can to do nod.  

He’s more than ready, this has been the only fantasy going through his mind since they talked about it, and he couldn’t be more ready and excited. He looks at Chris straightening up, looks at him staring at him while adjusting himself, softly pressing his erection against his entrance.   
  
Chris biting his lower lip as he pushes himself in is the most orgasmic thing Sebastian as ever witnessed and the loud breathing he makes is fucking exciting. He can’t look away, he doesn’t even want to blink, it’s too hot to not look attentively. Feeling Chris’ hands grasping his hips, watching him moving closer the more he buries himself deeper in him. The way Chris opens his mouth suddenly when he’s completely in.  
  
He doesn’t want to talk either, he couldn’t even do it if he wanted, his brain has shut down. Sure he’s  seen Chris’ face loads of times, watched him take pleasure and watched him come, but _this_ , this is something he’s never seen. Not from that angle, not Chris behind him, not Chris staring at him this way, there’s no doubt he’s loving this as much as Sebastian is. And the way Chris is looking at him when he’s moaning, when Chris moans, that’s just so fucking hot.

Chris applies a gentle pressure with the hand that rests on his hip, bending Sebastian forward slightly. His hand moves from Sebastian’s hip to his hard cock.

He can’t help but gasp at Chris’ touch.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve got you,” Chris says, his hand moving, his thumb sweeping over the sensitive head.

Chris’ strokes are firm and slow, matching the movement of his body against Sebastian’s.

He may not be able to talk, but Chris doesn’t seem to be able to stop. Usually it’s the other way around and that just adds to how hot this whole thing is.

“Don’t close your eyes,” Chris tells him, it sounds like an order though, but Sebastian won’t complain about that. Not that he would close his eyes anyway, he’s never seen Chris fucking him like this, never seen how he looks being fucked. And Chris seems to enjoy it so much, he can’t miss that, can’t not look at it.

 “Sebastian, baby, you look so hot,” Chris says, his voice strained. “I’ve never seen your face when I was fucking you from behind. Oh, god, you feel so good.”

Every nerve in his body is on fire, every muscle is tense and he’s trembling. Chris is trembling too, his chest sweating against Sebastian’s back, and it’s all so intense, the way it feels, the way it looks. Sebastian can only moan and move against Chris’ hand.

There’s an intense, fluttering feeling, like butterflies in his stomach, but not just there, everywhere, _especially the places Chris’ hands are on him_. He can see sweat beading on Chris’ forehead and Sebastian guesses by the heat filling the room right now that’s he’s without a doubt sweating too.  
  
“Oh god, you’re so fucking beautiful baby.” Chris mouths, looking at his face, and the body the mirror is offering him, and then at Sebastian’s ass right under him.  
  
He has to bend over the counter a little more when Chris thrusts more roughly in him, groaning, opening his mouth completely, breathing with difficulty. Short and jerky breaths. He can’t even focus enough to inhale and exhale correctly because every breath is mixed with a moan.   
  
“Look at me baby, just look at me” Chris orders softly. His mouth is so dry, and the more Chris talks the louder Sebastian gets. They’re staring at each other.  
  
Chris’ hand is stroking him faster, and Sebastian tries to speak, tries to say something but the more he tries the more he hears moans coming from his throat. He’s almost crying, begging Chris, he can’t articulate his thoughts, it would probably be easier if he could think, if everything wasn’t so blurry. It’s one of the most amazing experiences ever, and he’s kicking himself because he was too proud to try it before. He can’t handle everything at the same time, it’s too much, he needs to close his eyes for a second.

“Christ, Sebastian, look at me,” Chris order, his voice rough and commanding and fuck, it’s so alluring, the way Chris commands him, orders him. “I want to see your eyes, see your face when I come. I want to watch you come.”

It’s Chris’ voice, the desperate edge to his voice that snap Sebastian’s attention back to the present. He looks towards the mirror, finding Chris’ face, focusing only on the sensations of Chris moving inside of him, of his hand stroking him.

It’s all he can do to force his eyes to stay open as a jolt of pure pleasure courses through him. Chris’ hand moves faster, and a low moan breaks from Chris’ lips. Sebastian watches as Chris face contorts in ecstasy, knows his own face is doing the same.

He comes hard and fast, unable to hold back anymore, unable to even warn Chris of what’s happening. It doesn’t matter, because the second he does, the second his cock starts pulsing, shooting come across the front of the counter and Chris’ hand, Chris comes too. One hard thrust and Sebastian can feel the wet heat of Chris’ orgasm filling him. And through it all, they watch each other in the mirror, unable to look away.

They’re both panting, sweaty, breathless, and exhausted. Two sticky messes just struggling, trying to find their breath again. Sebastian is raw, shaking, gasping for air, he tries to swallow once but he just end up making a strangled odd noise, and has to try a second time because his throat is so dry.  
  
Chris is the one breaking the eye contact after a moment, closing his eyes, he’s tired, looking empty. He doesn’t talk anymore. He leans on Sebastian slowly, kissing his neck tenderly. Sebastian blinks, but keep looking at Chris resting and wiping his forehead on his shoulder.   
  
It takes Chris one more minute to be able to whisper, “I love you.” Lifting his head a little to look at Sebastian through the mirror, his face still hiding in his neck. “I love you so much.”

Sebastian doesn’t hesitate. “I love you too, Chris,” he says. His words are quiet, his voice wrecked, but he can tell Chris heard him.

Chris gathers him into his arms and they sink to the floor, their pile of discarded clothing saving them from the cold linoleum. “I really do love you, Chris.” His voice is recovering, but his words are still soft. Quiet as they are they fill the silence, echoing in the bathroom. Strange he didn’t notice the echoes when the room was filled with loud moans and Chris’ voice.

Now that it’s just them, in the still aftermath, it makes it more precious to say those words to Chris. Months ago, when Chris first took over the math class, when made the decision to mess with the new teacher, he’d never—not for one second— imagined being here, like this. He hadn’t even imagined graduating, but being here, being so in love with Chris, after all they’ve been through is something that never crossed his mind.

It was something he never knew he wanted, but now that it’s real, now that they are here, in this moment, Sebastian knows it’s all he ever wants.

Chris is looking at him through those long eyelashes and he can’t resist. “So, now that we both know how hot that is, even better to do it than just talk about it, we can do that as often was we want, right?”

Chris chuckles, his deep laugh booming through the small room. “Yeah, Sebastian. As often as we want.”


End file.
